


My King

by NoelEnough



Series: My King [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Achievement Hunter Kings, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Assassination, Attempted Murder, Blood, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff and Smut, High Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Murder, Non-Penetrative Sex, Oral Sex, Sex, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-03-24 22:54:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 114,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13821183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoelEnough/pseuds/NoelEnough
Summary: It's been many years since the Mad King took the throne from Michael, and he's getting nervous. When Keryna Stormborne earns the position of the Mad King's Bodyguard, she goes in expecting the usual complications of the position: Assassination attempts, angry outbursts from her charge, and a lot of blood. But she ends up with much more on her plate than she had originally expected. Can Keryna keep herself, and her King, together long enough to out run the inevitable? Or will desperate times call for desperate measures?





	1. First Day

          There was a loud banging on the door and a guard barked at me to be ready soon. A combination of excitement and anxiety made my stomach churn. Today was the big day. Today’s the day the I became the King’s bodyguard.

          I had been training for the military as long as I could remember. Mom always said that I would run along the fence when King Ray and his entourage would ride by, and one of my earliest memories was of him giving me a rose. When Michael took over when I was still a young lass, my resolve only strengthened. The war had razed our farm and the surrounding lands, and it was then that I knew that I needed to be a guard or knight. I needed to be able to keep my family safe and well taken care of.

          This year, something special happened. The King was looking for a bodyguard. Ever since the Mad King overthrew Michael, the kingdom had fallen into a wary peace. He could be brutal and blood thirsty, but there was no questioning that he kept the kingdom safe from intruders and criminals. So, it came as only a slight surprise when the call for a personal guard came. It had been many years since he had taken over, and he was probably getting paranoid.

          My friends laughed when I stepped up to be taken for training. Only my parents believed that I could do it. The other hopefuls had snickered too. How could a half-elf woman who had grown up on a small farm on the outskirts of town do any better than any one of the noble children whose parent had paid for fancy classes?

          I smiled as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had come so far in the last year. It had been rough to say the least. Months of intense training had built enough muscle to finally fill out my armor properly. I had passed the final tests with flying colors and had garnered the attention of the King himself.

          At first his gaze intimidated me, those blue eyes boring into me like drills even at a distance. Eventually, the feeling of his eyes on me became a driving force. I treated his attention like a challenge to make it worth watching. I fought hard and well in the training yards and stood up to the most grueling punishments, all because he was watching.

          When one day he stepped into the yard and drew his sword, the others backed away out of fear, but I stood firm and met his challenge. He wanted to fight each of us that remained to see if any of us could stand up to him. Naturally, no one wanted to swing anywhere near him out of fear of hurting him. Even I had hesitated, but after one of his slashes tore through my sleeve I let go. If he wanted to fight, I would give him one.

          He and I were panting by the end, our armor was ripped and slashed open and my nose bled from a well-placed block. He was the first to laugh and I followed soon, the tension of the fight releasing as he clapped my back and praised my skills.

          So here I was, in the nice dress armor I had been given when I joined the military a few years ago, making sure I was ready to meet my King for the first time as his personal guard. I was to have lunch with him, alone in his quarters, to go over my duties and tonight’s banquet and ceremony.

          There was another knock on my door. This one was much lighter and as I opened the door, I was greeted by the wide smile of Kerry Shawcross. The King’s adviser ushered me out of the room and let a few other guards in.

          “Don’t worry,” the blonde-haired man said before I could protest. “They won’t break anything.”

          “But what are they doing?” I asked as I looked back to the men that were now carrying some of my things.

          “You’re moving quarters,” the man pipped. “King Ryan says that you’re no good to him halfway across the castle, so you’ll be staying in a room across the hall from the King’s chambers.”

          I blinked hard and laughed nervously. I figured that I would be moving closer to him, the military barracks that I had been staying in were almost a solid two minutes’ walk from the King’s room, but right across the hall? I wondered what he was so afraid of. Kerry and I chatted about the day’s events as I was led to the wing where the King stayed.

          “So,” the young adviser said as we entered the hall. “There are all of three people who will be staying in this wing: The King, me, and now you.”

          “What about the other rooms?” I asked and looked around. This wing was nicer than the rest of the living areas. The walls were clean and torches kept the area well lit, even if the large window at the end of the hall didn’t supply enough natural light to navigate by. There were about six doors that I could see.

          “They are reserved for guests. Don’t worry about it too much,” Kerry smiled slyly. “We don’t get many of those.”

          I bit my tongue before I could do more than nod. Running my mouth had gotten me into trouble before, I could not let it get in the way now.

          “Say what ever it is you’re thinking,” Kerry whispered as the guards opened a door and started to take my things in there. I gave him a cautious glance and he raised his eyebrows at me.

          “I can’t imagine why the King doesn’t receive guests,” I muttered, the sarcasm dripping from my tone.

          “Me either,” the man gave me a wide smile and winked. I smiled in return and relaxed a little.

          He opened the door across from where the guards were currently piling my things and motioned for me to enter. I stepped in and was taken away by the beauty of the room.

          The wide doors that lead to a balcony were open and a gentle breeze carried the smell of impending rain into the large room. The thick black curtains that framed them were pulled open to let the air in and rustled as the wind caught them. Rich tapestries lined the walls to cover the blank stone behind them, each swath of fabric telling a different story from mythology and past dynasties. A large oak bed with red duvets and down pillows sat with its headboard against the far wall facing a large fireplace and two chairs that were pointed towards the flames. Between the chairs sat a small table, upon which sat a well-worn book with a red silk ribbon stuck between its pages.

          Kerry gently touched my shoulder to get my attention before leading me into an adjoining room. This room was smaller and lined with shelves of books and folders. In the center of the room sat a dark mahogany desk with a large red velvet cushioned chair on one side, and a smaller but similarly styled chair on the other. The edges of the desk were covered with papers and books, and at the center sat trays of food.

          Fruits and vegetables surrounded a large cut of beef that was still steaming. Various deserts and finger foods were lined up on one side of the entrée, two goblets and a large bottle of wine stood on the other. As my stomach growled with anticipation, I became aware of movement on the other side of the room. Instinctively, I tensed up and locked on to the source of motion.

          The Mad King looked at me with a look that was somewhere between impressed and a predatory caution. He waved his hand in a small motion, telling me to stand down. He was in his usual black leather chest armor with a white tunic underneath. His signature red tartan kilt stopped just below his knees where it brushed against the bottom of his white trousers, which were tucked into black leather boots. His crown, gem encrusted and slightly broken from battle, was strapped to his hip rather than sitting on top of his sandy blond hair.

          I pressed my right fist to my left shoulder and bowed before standing straight and relaxing.

          “Sit, please,” he ordered and motioned to the smaller chair in front of me. I obediently sat down and looked at the meal before me.

          “I’ll leave you two to your lunch,” Kerry said and bowed slightly. “I have some things I need to take care of before tonight’s festivities.”

          “Is it really going to be a whole thing?” I asked and looked between the two men. “It’s really no big deal.”

          “Nonsense,” the King laughed as he sat across from me. “The kingdom should have the chance to meet the King’s personal guard. Besides, it’s been awhile since there was a party. The people could use some festivity.”

          “You’re the biggest deal at the moment,” Kerry smiled. “All the people are chattering about the woman who beat all her competition to take one of the highest places an elf has had in this kingdom.”

          “Yeah,” I muttered and stared into my lap. “I’ve heard the chatter.”

          “If you didn’t want the attention,” The King asked and leaned forward. “Why try for the position?”

          “I was ready for the attention,” I huffed. “I wasn’t ready to be called ‘The King’s personal whore’ by my own comrades.”

          The King snorted softly and looked up at Kerry, and the younger man shook his head.

          “Jealousy is all it is,” Kerry tried to assure me. “They weren’t ready for you to hand their asses to them so publicly.”

          I smiled softly and the adviser patted my shoulder before taking his leave.

          “You’ll get used to it in time,” The King said as he poured wine into the goblets. “You just have to learn to use it to your advantage.”

          “Easy for you to say,” I huffed and I immediately froze in place, cursing my loose lips.

          “I was warned of your sharp tongue,” he chuckled. “You’re lucky that it only made you more appealing to me. I’d much rather have someone who isn’t afraid to talk back than someone who will just say ‘Yes Sir’ and kiss my ass all day. I have the council for that.”

          I smiled and looked up at him as I reached for my goblet. I hadn’t been this close to him since our sparring match and I hadn’t gotten a good look at him then. I watched him over the rim of my cup as I drank.

          His hair hung in his face as he cut into the meat, the leather armor rustling softly as he laid a portion on the plate in front of me. His eyes flicked up to me and I quickly looked away, but not before his cool blue stare ignited a flurry of butterflies in my stomach.

          “How would you suggest I take advantage of my unofficial title?” I asked him before he could question my gaze. I coughed lightly as the wine burned a little going down.

          “Personally,” he smiled as I looked over the bottle. “I would let them. They’ll undermine you, but we both know you could kill them in an instant.”

          “Let them underestimate me and take them by surprise.” I nodded. “I think I can do that.”

          “I know you can,” the King said as he took a bite.

          “You sure seem to know a lot about me,” I commented and dug in as well. He chuckled as he covered his mouth with his hand.

          “Guards have a tendency to gossip when they’re patrolling the walls at night,” he muttered through his mouthful of food. “And I like to sit on the balcony when I can’t sleep.”

          I hummed knowingly and stabbed a few carrots with my fork. We ate in silence for a bit as we savored the choice cut of meat that had been prepared for us.

          “So,” the King sighed as he refilled our drinks. “You’ve been in my army for a few years now, correct?”

          “Yessir,” I nodded and grabbed a strawberry.

          “What drives a young elven woman to join the Mad King’s army?” he asked and leveled his gaze upon me. I felt the familiar need to prove myself to him, though now I guess I needed to prove that I was trustworthy.

          “I’m only a half elf,” I said simply. “I was raised on a farm on the outskirts of the kingdom by my elven mother and her elf husband. Opportunities were few and far between for me.”

          “Do you know your father?” he asked, clearly interested. “Or any of your human side?”

          “Nope,” I shook my head. “Mom didn’t want to talk about it and my step-father wasn’t too keen on the topic either. He is a purist, but he loves my mom too much to harm me.”

          “Elves,” the King huffed. “Their stupid fixation on a pure bloodline will be their downfall.”

          I nodded and stared into my cup as I swirled my wine around. I could feel him looking me over and I dared to look up at him. His gaze locked with mine and neither of us moved as we just stared into the other’s eyes. I understood how people were intimidated by his hard stare, the intensity of his look when he was angry could make a charging bull second guess itself, but in this relaxed setting I couldn’t help but appreciate the sparkle behind those beautiful blue eyes.

          I looked away and blinked hard. _Beautiful?_

          “You’ll get over that soon enough,” he laughed and reached for a small slice of cake. “Eventually, you and Kerry will be the only two people who can look me in the eyes and not shy away.”

          “You seem confident that we will get close,” I pointed out as I watched him lick the icing off his lips. I reached out for an apple turnover before relaxing back into the chair.

          “Oh, we will,” he smiled and winked causing a flush to spread across my cheeks. “You’ll be following me everywhere I go. Council meetings, open court hearings, festivals, hunting trips. Everywhere except the bathroom.”

          “Good,” I laughed. “I don’t know how I would handle being called ‘the King’s ass wiper’.”

          He snorted wine and laughed hardily. His laughter and the wine made me lose my composure and giggled with him as I tried to eat my desert.

          “Oh Keryna,” he chuckled and looked at me softly. “This is going to be fun.”

          Hearing him say my name made me blush more. They friendly way he said it was different than the harsh bark I was used to hearing it in.

          “Why me?” I asked as he reached for another slice of cake.

          “Because you are what I’m looking for,” he shrugged and licked an icing rose off the top of the cake.

          “You’re nimble, quick thinking, and tough. You can hold your own with even the biggest opponents but can still come across as approachable and friendly. Your swordplay is phenomenal, and your dexterity can easily make up for any discrepancy in strength. Your elven blood also makes your senses sharper than the average human and gives you a resistance to some poisons.”

          I looked away meekly and tried to hide my growing blush. Why was he making me so flustered like this? I knew I was all those things, I had trained for most of my life to hone those skills, but why was him saying it out loud making me giddy?

          “And besides,” he smiled into his goblet. “You’re easier on the eyes than most of the other options.”

          I huffed indignantly and shot a glare at him. His only response was to chuckle as he sipped from his wine.

          “It’s no wonder everyone is calling me your whore,” I snapped.

          “What?” he teased. “Unless Kerry has broken his promise, no one else should know that tidbit.”

          I laughed and shook my head as I poured us more wine. I was on my third drink, and I needed to be careful. It wasn’t hard for me to get carried away, but especially now as I relaxed around the King.

          “You seem very knowledgeable about elves,” I pointed out as I tossed a cherry into my mouth.

          “I have to be,” he nodded. “I can’t run this Kingdom on fear alone. I do need to know things.”

          “You ever interact with an elf aside from fighting?”

          “One of the council members is an elf,” he said as he thought. “And a few of my higher-ranking officers as well. They all are a bunch of sticks in the mud if you ask me, far too serious for their own good.”

          “Now, the elves that travel with the gypsies,” he chuckled and I laughed as well. “Those are far more interesting people.”

          “The gypsies are a blast anyway,” I said and leaned over the table. “I tried to run away with them when I was younger.”

          “No!” he gasped and leaned in to. His eyes twinkled with excitement.

          “Yeah,” I giggled. “I wanted to adventure and be free like they did, and being the rebellious teen that I was, I ran off in the middle of the night to join them. I spent a week with them before I came running home.”

          “What made you want to leave the gypsies?” he asked with a half smile.

          “They uh,” I stammered and felt my ears burn as I remembered. “Were a little, um, _intimidating_.”

          He looked at me very confused until I coughed lightly and crossed my legs.

          “Oh,” he gasped then burst into laughter. I kicked at him under the table and he shot me a surprised but playful look. I didn’t care about propriety anymore. He was right, we were going to get close. I may as well get comfortable.

          “Listen,” I snapped as I threw a cherry at him and was a little surprised when he caught it and ate it. “That’s a lot of, _physical contact_ to deal with suddenly. Especially at sixteen.”

          “Did you?” he smirked.

          “No,” I muttered. He raised an eyebrow at me as his bit into a cookie.

          “Almost. Once.” I blushed into my cup as he laughed at me.

          “I didn’t know my little bodyguard was going to be a virgin!” he laughed. “No wonder you’re good at fighting off men.”

          “I am not!” I shouted before changing my tone to sound less indignant.

          “I am not a virgin. And why the hell am I telling you this?” I sighed loudly.

          “Because, I know that elves have a low alcohol tolerance,” he giggled and pointed to the bottle of wine. “And I asked for the extra strong stuff.”

          “You bastard!” I snapped and stood up. Only now did I actually feel drunk as the room spun slightly and my head felt light. He fell back into his chair as he rolled with laughter.

          “I wanted to see you when you were relaxed. Truly relaxed,” he said through tears. “I also wanted to see if your wits were about you even when drunk.”

          Before I could ask what that meant, there was a sword at my throat. My haze broke as adrenaline flooded my system and I knocked the blade away with my bracer as I drew my own short sword. My sword was swatted away as I thrust it in the direction of my attacker, but I lunged at the assailant and knocked them to the floor. I scrambled on top of them and wound back for a punch before I realized that the person under me was shaking. I focused on the laughing blur beneath me and gasped.

          The King laid on the floor, one hand reaching out for the sword I had knocked out of his hand the other was wrapped around my wrist as I held him down. I froze there, straddling his hips as he laughed. I could feel my whole face and neck burst with color as I scrambled off him and leaned against the desk.

          “That’s not funny,” I snapped and he only laughed harder. “You’re a dick.”

          “Now that’s not a nice thing to say to your King,” he growled as he sat up and looked at me. “I give you plenty of food and drink and you call me a dick.”

          “I’d almost rather you were the Mad King right now,” I grumbled and he fell silent. When I looked at him, he was giving me an icy glare.

          “It can be arranged soldier.”

          My training kicked in and I shot up and stood at attention.

          “I’m sorry Sir,” I grunted and stared straight ahead. In the corner of my eyes I saw him rise before he stepped in front of me.

          “Look at me,” he ordered and I obediently lifted my eyes to him.

          “We may get close, friendly even, but don’t you ever forget that I am your King,” he reminded me in the low tone he usually saved for when he was punishing someone.

          “You serve me,” he continued and stepped closer. “You will follow my orders or you will meet the Mad King, and it won’t end nearly as well as this. You understand?”

          “Yes Sir,” I confirmed, still locked on the flickering blue eyes that were pinning me to the desk. He stepped even closer and our chests touched as he stared down his nose at me. I wanted to step back, but the desk was starting to dig into my hips, so I held his gaze.

          “Who do you serve?” he asked.

          “You, my King,” I answered and I saw his lips tug into a smile.

          “And no one else. You don’t answer to the generals anymore, or any of the council members. Not even Kerry,” he bent down to be even with me. “I’m the only one who you take orders from.”

          I looked at him hard for a moment before I blinked a few times as something occurred to me.

          “You have reason to believe that someone isn’t being honest with you?” I asked.

          “I’m the King,” he laughed shortly. “I assume that someone has ulterior motives.”

          I looked him in the eyes as he watched me for a reaction.

          “I answer to you and only you my King,” I said finally after a moments thought. There must have been some reason for him to need a guard who is loyal to him and only him. I had already crossed a line, so I’d ask again later once he trusted me more.

          “Good,” he smiled and I could see him relax a little. “Now I’m going to need some collateral.”

          “I’m sorry?” I asked.

          “I need something to ensure that you keep your promise,” he replied and started to walk back into his bed chamber. I scooped up a handful of cookies before following him.

          He motioned for me to sit in one of the chairs facing the fireplace before sitting in one himself.

          “Something that I will tell the whole world if I find out you answer to someone else.”

          I sat down and munched on a cookie and stared into the fire as I thought. He reached over and took a cookie while he waited for a response. The flames licked the top of the alcove and I felt the flicker in my chest. I looked down at my hands and thought. The warm flickers started to make my fingertips ache as I knew what I had to do.

          “What do you know about elves and magic?” I asked and looked back to the fire.

          “I know that a portion, though small, can develop elemental abilities naturally but they can all learn to use magic if they start out young enough. I know that even among elves magic users are seen as freaks, like something’s wrong with their blood. More ‘purity’ bullshit,” he said and squinted at me.

          I sighed and knelt on the floor in front of the fire and slowly stuck my hand into the flames. I could feel the surge of energy flow through my body and I gasped softly as it burned away the drunken haze that had settled in my mind. I could feel every pop and crackle of the wood and every shift of flame. I removed my hand, but my palm remained lit and the small ball of fire burned silently as it used my natural energies for fuel. After a moment I started to feel weak and so I let the fire die as I closed my hand.

          “That good enough?” I shivered and hauled myself back into the chair, my energy spent on even just that simple show.

          “That seems like something you would have mention up front,” he muttered and took my hand to examine it.

          “Father nearly had a fit when he found out I could wield fire,” I sighed as his soft fingers prodded and caressed my palm. “You’re right. Magic users seen as unnatural, and he already hated me for what I was, so he refused to let me learn to focus it. I can do simple party tricks and that’s about it.”

          “Why not tell someone once you joined the military?” he asked as he released my hand.

          “It never crossed my mind,” I murmured as my eyes became heavy and I struggled to keep them open. “I got so used to ignoring it, I never thought to ask. Besides, I only know a few simple things, and even that is a lot for me.”

          “I can see that,” he chuckled as I started to stand.

          I was about to take my leave and rest in my new bed when the world spun, and I felt myself fall. I let out a surprised grunt as I was lifted up and when I focused I could see that the King had caught me.

          “I don’t know what’s got me worse off,” I giggled. “The wine or the magic.”

          “I’d say the wine,” his voice rumbled as my head dipped into his chest. I quickly tried to right myself and step away but I felt his arm sweep my feet up as he cradled me in his arms.

          “I got you into this, I’ll take care of you,” he said.

          “What did you even put in the wine?” I inquired as he carried me. “There’s no way that was just wine.”

          “I may have spiked it with some things,” he muttered sheepishly. “Like I said, I wanted to get you loose. See the real you, not the you that you put up for show.”

          “That’s dirty,” I scolded. “Drug a lady up over dinner for shits and giggles.”

          His laughter made me grin as I was laid down on what felt like a cloud. My body sank in and a down filled blanket was laid over me. I hummed happily as I rested my head on a silk covered pillow.

          “It was underhanded of me,” he apologized softly. “But it will make sense in time. You just have to trust me. For now, you have time to sleep off everything before the banquet.”

          “Do I have to wear a dress?” I sighed as my eyes closed and wouldn’t reopen.

          “No,” he chuckled. “Unless you want to.”

          “No,” I hummed and pulled the blanket up to my nose. “I was never fond of dresses.”

          He said something, but I didn’t hear what he said. All I could hear was the gentle patter of rain through the open balcony and the sharp crackle of the fire inside. I focused on the King’s footsteps, soft but purposeful, as sleep pulled me under.


	2. Getting Ready

        I woke up to the sound of a door closing. I didn’t know how long I had been out, but I did know that I didn’t want to get up just yet. I listened as someone walked into the room and laughed softly.

        “I see the wine worked,” Kerry’s voice said, and I peeked out from under my still heavy eyelids.

        I almost bolted straight out of the bed as I realized where I was. I had assumed that the King had carried me to my room, but I was so wrong. Sleep still had a hold of me, so I didn’t do more than shift gently and cause the thick red duvet on the King’s bed to rustle. I closed my eyes and pretended to still sleep as I listened to the men talk.

        “It worked too well,” I heard the King say from somewhere behind me. “What did you put in it? She was more than just a little drunk and even I was starting to feel off.”

        “I may have mixed in a few other ingredients,” the royal adviser smiled. “I guess I didn’t factor in her size well enough.”

        “No,” the King grunted. “You didn’t.”

        “What?” Kerry pleaded and sat in a chair. “I gave you what you wanted, and you got a beautiful woman in your bed.”

        “That’s not the point Kerry!” the monarch snapped and I held my tongue.

        “I just wanted to loosen her up! Not date rape her! I need her to trust me, and now she’s going to be suspicious of everything I put in front of her.”

        “No she won’t,” the other man huffed. “Did you at least get some conversation out of her before bedding her?”

        I was about to get up and put a knife to his throat when I heard something heavy fly through the air.

        “I didn’t sleep with her you pig!” the King hissed as his adviser yelped with pain as whatever the King threw connected. “I wanted to make sure you hadn’t killed her!”

        “Fine,” the young blond said, his voice muffled by what I assumed were his hands.

        “And yes, I did have a lovely conversation with her before she passed out,” the King finished.

        “What did you talk about?” Kerry pried.

        “Not much,” the King admitted. “Mostly about herself and her history.”

        “Anything interesting?” the younger man continued.

        “Nope,” his majesty said simply. I was a little surprised that he didn’t mention my magic, but then I remembered that even Kerry was on his list of people to be wary of.

        “I think you’re lying to me,” Kerry mumbled.

        “That’s your problem,” the King huffed.

        That’s when I felt a hand on my leg and I dared to peek from under my eyelids. I was met with the King’s familiar stare, and the way he looked at me said that he knew I was awake.

        “Eavesdropping on the King is punishable by death,” he said coolly.

        “Don’t talk so loud when someone is sleeping in the room,” I responded and I saw him smirk.

        “You’ve been awake this whole time,” he smiled. “I noticed your breathing change.”

        “Then you knew I could hear you and kept talking,” I shot back as I climbed out of bed.

        I took a moment to look at the King. He was in a much nicer kilt and had changed out of his black boots and trousers and into white stockings and black loafers. His leather chest piece was now a white silk tunic and a black wool jacket that was buttoned in the middle. The broken crown was now perched crookedly on top of his head.

        I turned to look out the balcony doors and saw that it was well past sundown.

        “How long was I out?” I asked as I stretched.

        “About five hours,” the King hummed. “Banquet starts in about an hour.”

        “Then I need to get ready!” I exclaimed and started towards my room

        “You’ll know what to wear,” the King called after me as I reached the door.

        I swiftly ran across the hall and threw open the door to my new room. It wasn’t as large or nearly as decorated as his, but it was already better than my room in the barracks. My room was laid out almost identically to the King’s, only there was a large bay window instead of a balcony and my fireplace wasn’t nearly as large. The bed had simple black covers and white linen pillows.

        I startled a servant who was tending to the fire when I entered, and she jumped up quickly and bowed as I closed the door.

        “I’m sorry,” I apologized and bowed slightly in return. It was inappropriate to bow to staff, but I didn’t care. They kept the place running and they deserved the respect.

        “It’s okay m’lady,” she blushed at my gesture as she tucked some of her dark red hair behind her ear. If her height and complexion hadn’t given it away, the pointed ear was enough to tell me she was an elf.

        “Please,” I smiled and waved. “I’m not nobility. ‘Ma’am’ is more than enough. I’m Keryna.”

        I held out my hand and tucked my own hair back. I’m sure she knew who I was and where I came from, but if she was going to be in my room when I wasn’t around, I had better stay friendly.

        “Meg,” she returned as she shook my hand and I saw her posture and hazel eyes soften. “I’m the maid for this hall.”

        “I apologize in advance,” I smiled kindly. “I tend to leave my room a mess. I’m not one for putting things back where I found them.”

        “It’ll be no trouble, I’m sure,” She giggled and shook her head. “Let me show you around your room.”

        I let her guide me through the small room and the adjacent room that acted as a closet and a bathing area. A large copper tub sat in the middle of the room and was surrounded by empty wardrobes on three sides.

        “This used to be the princess’ room way back when King Geoff was ruling,” Meg explained as she ran a hand across the rim of the tub. “Hasn’t been a princess since so I was excited when I heard I could finally clean everything out of here.”

        “Why?” I asked as I opened the wardrobes just to be sure they were empty. One was full of plain tunics and trousers and a few night gowns that had been brought over from my room.

        “Because it’s such a beautiful room when the sun is out,” she sighed as I spotted three armor stands with sheets over them.

        “Oh!” Meg chirped as I looked at them. “The King told me about those while you slept!”

        I blushed hard and looked at my feet. I certainly wasn’t helping my own reputation, but the King was right, I needed to ignore it or use it to my benefit.

        “This one is hunting armor. The stuff you’ll need when out and on the road,” Meg said and tugged the sheet off a normal set of black leather armor. The only signs of the King were a bull’s head branded into the gauntlets and a peek of red tartan under the leather battle skirt.

        “This is your every day armor. This is what you’ll wear on a daily basis as you follow the King around the castle,” she explained as she revealed the next set. “There are more sets being made, so don’t worry too much about keeping it clean.”

        I smiled wide as the sheet hit the ground. A chainmail shirt was barely visible under a full sleeved pixane and iron chest plate. The pixane was thick black fabric with silver embellishments sewn into a leather lining. Bracers with leather gloves and greaves with a leather backing glistened in the torchlight. Wrapped around the waist of the stand was an open, calf length wool skirt that was, naturally, red tartan.

        “And finally, you’re dress armor,” she announced as she ripped the sheet off with a flourish. Heavily embellished iron pauldrons, gauntlets, greaves, and a chest piece were paired with black trousers and a full length open tartan skirt.

        “Sure does like his themes,” I commented as I looked over the three sets of armor.

        “He say’s it makes it easy to know who to stab,” she giggled as she reached behind the dress set and produced two weapons. I couldn’t help but to hold my hands out and make grabby motions.

        “These were made for you,” she smiled and held out a large scabbard. “The King wanted you to have the best.”

        I unsheathed the larger weapon and giggled as I drew the faintly glowing, blue blade. I held the diamond, one-handed short sword and carefully twirled it around in my hand. I had heard that they were incredibly light considering their strength and durability, but this was no heavier than the training swords I had practiced with. The iron sword on my hip was almost twice as heavy, and the new weapon felt more like an extension of my body as I expertly thrust and slashed the air.

        “I had them forge it to match your height,” a voice behind me said and I spun around.

        Meg gasped and bowed quickly as the Mad King leaned against the door frame and watched me admire the blade. He had added gold bracers, black leather gloves, and a flowing red cloak to his ensemble and now he looked as much of the King I had known before: Formidable, regal, and powerful.

        “Thank you, my King,” I said and sheathed the weapon before bowing. I could see Kerry peering around him and into my dressing room as we spoke.

        “There are four blades in the kingdom that have been forged with diamond and have been enchanted. I have two of them, and now you own the others,” he said. I looked down at the weapon in my hand, which had a familiar stylized ‘U’ stamp on the blade just above the hilt. “The sword has Unbreaking, and the dagger has Sharpness.”

        “Thank you,” I nodded.

        “For your sake and mine, I hope you don’t have to use them anytime soon,” he smiled. I returned the smile and looked back at the armor sets behind me.

        “Well, I need to be heading to the banquet hall,” the King sighed and pushed off from the wall. “Everyone’s here early and waiting for the guest of honor.”

        I smiled and was about to say something, but he cut me off.

        “So I’ll give them what they want until the bodyguard is ready,” he said snidely and I could hear Kerry stifle a laugh.

        I pursed my lips and glared at him. He gave me a small wink and left Meg and I alone.

        “I think he likes you,” Meg said after the door closed and we could hear Kerry’s laughter echo down the hall.

        “What makes you say that?” I huffed and started to pull my old armor off.

        “He seems very invested in your safety,” she explained as she waited with the first layers of my new dress armor.

        “My safety is his,” I responded. “If I have the best armor and weapons, it means the best armor and weapons are protecting him.”

        “I saw that wink though,” she grinned as he eyes sparkled. “And you were in his bed.”

        “Are you one of those who believes that I had sex with him?” I asked as I slid on the black trousers and wool undershirt.

        “No!” She said firmly as she strapped the greaves to my calves. “The King may have his share of vices, but women have never been one of them. You got your position because he feels that you’re the best for it.”

        “Thank you,” I smiled. “I’m glad someone has some common sense. As for sleeping in his bed, I-.”

        I was shushed with her finger. I should have gotten mad at her for stepping out of line, but I felt comfortable around her. I didn’t want to give her a reason to dislike me.

        “I know about their sick trick,” she said and helped me strap on my chest piece and pauldrons. “It took every ounce of my patience to not hit him when he told me while you were asleep. My point is that he doesn’t even let Kerry _sit_ on the bed. It’s his one place where no one can follow and pester him.”

        “They can just talk to him from the bedside,” I snorted and was met with a serious glare.

        “No, they can’t,” Meg shook her head as she held my sword and dagger while I fastened my skirt and belt around my waist. “He keeps a pouch behind that headboard. Anyone who dares to try to talk to him while he’s in bed, gets a dagger thrown at them.”

        I couldn’t help but laugh hard as I imagined a very sleepy King throwing knives at people.

        “I’m not kidding,” Meg laughed with me. “I’ve gotten a stray dagger or two before. It’s a scary thing.”

        I looked myself over in the mirror and was astonished at my own reflection. Never in my wildest dreams had it ever occurred to me that I could be anything more than a simple officer in the army, but here I was standing in fancy armor that could only rival a king.

_You don’t answer to the generals. Only me._ His words echoed in my mind as Meg attached my knew blades to the belt. I was above a general in his eyes. I played through the conversation again, and I remembered something else he had said.

_You just have to trust me._

        “What’s this?” Meg interrupted my thought as she tugged open a hand sized pouch on my hip.

        I hadn’t noticed it when I was looking at it on the armor stand, so I let Meg investigate. She pulled out six throwing daggers and a folded piece of paper. I took the daggers and weighed them in my palm before throwing one into a wardrobe across the room.

        When I turned from retrieving it, Meg had a wide grin on her face as she held the paper. I didn’t say anything, just took it cautiously from her hand.

_I noticed you were handy with these and thought you might like some. -MKR_

        I was sure that my cheeks were as red as the tartan around my legs as I quickly crumpled the note and stared at Meg.

        “If I hear about this from anyone but you or the King, I swear to the gods,” I grumbled as I quickly marched out of the room and threw the scrap of paper into the fireplace.


	3. Ballroom Blitz

          I stood nervously outside the banquet hall as I waited for the page to come back. I was told to wait so that I could be formally introduced to the hall. I twirled the braid Meg had put above my ear.

          She said that it made me look beautiful, showing off my ear. I had blushed madly and tried to look away, but she just laughed at me and continued to compliment my ashen blonde hair as she wove a few more braids and several ornaments into my hair like it was nothing.

          The page returned and nodded to me as the hall behind him grew silent. I took a deep breath and stepped into the well-lit room as the King addressed his subjects.

          “And now for the main event!” He shouted over the quieting din of conversation. “I would like to introduce everyone to my new body guard.”

          I walked to the large table where the King and Kerry were situated. The King was in the middle of the table and he looked over his cloaked shoulder at me as I approached. Kerry sat to his left and hadn’t gotten up as I walked to the chair on the King’s right. All eyes were on me as I stood in front of what was clearly meant to be my seat.

          “Keryna Stormborne,” the King said and lifted his glass. The other guests lifted their glasses and I felt my heart skip a beat.

          “Here’s to your success during training, your perseverance, and your commitment to me and the kingdom,” he continued, and a small cheer rose from the crowd.

          “Thank you, my King,” I bowed. I could see a group of nobles who were sitting together snicker at something and as I watched them I realized that a few were other hopefuls who had lost to me.

          “You’ve served in my army until now, are you ready to take on even more responsibility and danger?” he asked and I looked back to him as I grabbed my already full cup from the table.

          “I wouldn’t have signed up if I wasn’t, your majesty,” I replied, and a chuckle rolled through the crowd. The King gave me a half smile.

          “Then promise me you’ll heed my every order and give your life for me,” he said simply and waited. I let out a long sigh before pressing my right fist to my shoulder and bowing.

          “I pledge my life and obedience to you, my King,” I swore and sat up. He raised his cup higher before taking a drink. I repeated his action and was surprised to taste plain grape juice in my cup. The room cheered and drank as we sat down.

          The next half hour was mostly just eating and light conversation.

          “Nerves got you that bad?” Kerry asked as he noticed that I was just picking at my food.

          “No,” I said shortly before turning to glare at him. “The wine we had earlier was a little rough on my stomach. I think someone tainted it.”

          The King smiled into his drink and his adviser giggled as he stuffed a potato into his mouth.

          As people became full they started to mill around, and I was surprised at how many approached me to talk. Most people we nice enough, complimenting my hair and armor and congratulating me on my promotion. A few seemed shocked when I smiled and chatted back. They assumed that the King’s guard would be stoic and unapproachable like the monarch she served.

          In fact, the man who was beside me and the man whom I had lunch with seemed like totally different people. The laughing and joking man that I spent my afternoon drinking with was no where to be seen as the Mad King sat in silence next to me, only talking when spoken to and even then, only a few sentences at most. His tone was flat and demanding as he spoke, like every word was a challenge.

          This was the King I knew. The blood thirsty ruler who would slit your throat if you looked at him wrong. Anyone who came to talk to me would first cast a wary glance at him, as if he was going to attack them for getting too close. He always watched them out of the corner of his eye and occasionally would smirk when they noticed and got flustered. I was watching a group of nobles try to talk to the King when a familiar voice called my name.

          “Mom!” I smiled excitedly as I rounded the table to hug her. The King’s eyes flicked quickly to watch me as I moved, making the nobles jump at his sudden change.

          “I’m so proud of you sweetheart,” the woman said as she kissed my forehead.

          “Where’s Father?” I asked as I looked around for the older man.

          “He’s back at our table. I practically had to threaten his life to come tonight,” my mother sighed as she looked at my hair and gently touched the braid on the side of my head.

          “Who did this?” she asked and I looked down at my feet.

          “The maid for the wing I’m living in,” I smiled as I looked back up to her. “She’s an elf.”

          My mother was a beautiful woman. Decades of hard labor on the farm hadn’t put a dent in the natural grace and elegance that came with elven blood. Her pale green eyes twinkled with pride as she held one of the ornaments between her fingers.

          “You should let her do your hair regularly,” she told me. “It’s not often you get the chance to show off your beauty.”

          “Mom,” I huffed, becoming keenly aware of the King’s gaze. “There’s no point in trying to look like this all the time.”

          “Just because you serve him,” she said quietly and cast a glance towards the King. “Doesn’t mean you can’t keep an eye out for someone special. Who knows, your new rank might attract a nice-”

          “We are not discussing this,” I said quickly and held my hand up to shush her.

          “Yeah,” one of the nobles who had been talking to the King chimed in. I looked over at him and saw that it was Gereth Lancaster, one of the other potential picks for the King’s body guard.

          “There’s no need to discuss what we already know,” he continued, and I watched him with a stiff glare. I could see his eyes glitter evilly as he looked at me.

          “And that would be?” My mom asked as she looked between the two of us.

          “Don’t encourage him,” I muttered and gently pushed her to the side as I turned to face the nobleman.

          He was around twenty-five and the middle child of an upper-class merchant. The Lancasters were the kingdom’s biggest ore dealers and had connections with many of the elven mining companies that supplied them with the raw material. During training, he had been one of my rivals. He always looked down his nose at me and treated me like I was nothing more than a dumb woman. I had bested him every time we fought, but he always saved face by saying that it was because I was used to fighting off bandits near the farm.

          “We all know how you really got promoted,” he sneered as he stepped up into my face. I saw my mother shrink back to the table as she saw me tense up. A few people near by had stopped to watch the scene.

          “Tell me,” he said loud enough that everyone paying attention could hear. “What’s it like to be the King’s whore?”

          “I wouldn’t know,” I spat back. “You’d have a better idea. Maybe if you had spent half as much time training as you did fucking all the women we were competing with, you’d be the new guard.”

          He threw his fist into my cheek and I felt a surge of pain tear through my face as I let my head move with his follow through. When he pulled back I was looking at the King, waiting for any sign that I could retaliate. I knew I couldn’t fight back on my own. Gereth’s family was too important, and I didn’t want to give the Mad King a reason to think that I couldn’t handle a little adversity like this.

          He looked at me intently for a second before looking out into the now hushed crowd.

          “She has a point,” he shrugged and sat back in his chair. I straightened and look at Gereth as I rubbed my cheek. The taste of iron bit at my tongue as I used it to inspect the inside of my mouth.

          “She’s lying!” the flustered noble shouted to the people as they stared. His father pushed through the crowd and motioned for him to back down. “No! I won’t stand by while he parades this whore around in armor I should be wearing!”

          “I see,” the King hummed knowingly. “Then you would prefer a reminder of why she’s dressed up and you’re not?”

          The young man hesitated as he looked around for support.

          “Remind him for me Keryna,” my King ordered.

          He had barely finished his sentence when I threw my fist into Gereth’s gut. He grunted and I brought my knee up into his face as he doubled over. I followed him as he fell back and tried to crawl away.

          “Stop,” my King barked as I stood over the trembling, bleeding man.

          “Remember now?” he continued loudly. “Remember how this ‘whore’ beat you every time you faced her? I do, and that’s why she’s standing over you in new armor while you bleed out onto my floor.”

          The crowd shifted uncomfortably as the nobleman beneath me nodded.

          “Good,” the King waved. “Now, I’m tired of this rumor running through my Kingdom. I can honestly say that I have no memory of sleeping with anyone in the last year, so if I have to hear one more person try to tell me I had sex with her, I’ll let Keryna show off the new weapons she’s earned.”

          With that he waved for me to return to the table and I followed his command. My mother practically threw herself at me as I returned to where we had been talking.

          “I’m sorry,” she apologized as she inspected my cheek. “I had heard the rumors, but I didn’t think anyone actually believed it.”

          “It’s amazing what some people will do to feel better about their failures,” I smiled and gently held her hand. I saw her gaze go over my shoulder and her lips pressed flat as a familiar icy presence approached us.

          “Your daughter the guard dog,” a low, even voice said and I turned to face my step-father. “If only you followed my orders that well.”

          The tall, muscular man towered over me as he looked down his nose at the two of us.

          “Leilan,” my mother warned but he cut her off with a glare.

          “I don’t care who she is now or how hard she worked. She’s still your stubborn bastard,” the man spat.

          “Being stubborn isn’t always a negative trait,” the King said as he appeared next to me.

          My parents quickly bowed, and I was a little surprised when the King took my mother’s hand and kissed it. I wasn’t sure, but I could swear they looked like they knew each other. I shook my head and ignored it, if the Mad King had ever been near my home, I would remember it.

          “Maybe not in _humans_ ,” my father scowled as a warm blush spread across his wife’s cheeks, the word flowing from his mouth in a river of malice.          

          “It’s how we survive,” my King responded as he faced the taller man. “Humans are as stubborn as elves are arrogant.”

          My mother hid a smile behind her hand, but I let my smirk be seen.

          “And you picked the most stubborn, arrogant half elf the world has ever produced,” my father snapped.

          “She’s also the best fighter I’ve seen in a long time,” my King responded quickly, and I felt my heart flutter at his words. “I can handle some back talk if it means I’ve got someone capable to watch my back.”

          “She’s always been good at chasing Kings,” my step-father huffed. The Mad King and I both tensed and watched the elven man intently as we both waited for his next comment.

          “Getting a little tense in here!” Kerry interjected suddenly as he literally stepped into the middle of our conversation. He made a big show of stretching out to bow to my mother as he too kissed her hand. My father stepped back to avoid Kerry’s gesturing and I relaxed knowing that he probably wouldn’t speak again.

          “How could something so lovely possibly produce someone like Keryna?” Kerry gushed as he held my mothers hand gently in his. I rolled my eyes hard enough that it actually kind of hurt.

          “There was some outside influence,” she teased back and finally my step-father walked off with a huff.

          “Your step-father seems like a lovely man,” the King muttered as we watched Kerry flirt with my mother.

          “He’s always hated me,” I sighed. “He holds no love for anything human.”

          “So why stay here in my Kingdom?”

          “Because that’s where his family is from. Long before Geoff stepped in and unified the land, the Feelah family farmed here. He’s too arrogant to leave.”

          “Why doesn’t your mother leave? There’s clearly no love in that marriage,” he asked. His voice had grown soft, the harsh tone he had taken for the banquet fading.

          I glanced around and noticed that the guests had started to filter out of the hall and back into the streets as they took their mirth far away from the Mad King and his new attack dog. My mother took Kerry’s arm and let him walk her around as they discussed elven aesthetics. The King and I were alone.

          “Where would you suggest she go?” I said sadly as her laughter rang through the emptying hall like wind chimes. The King was silent as we both knew there was no where for a simple farming elf like her to go.

          “You handled yourself well tonight,” he complimented and changed the subject.

          “Thank you,” I smiled and looked to my King. His eyes were gentle as he flicked between me and his flirtatious adviser. The comfortable feeling I had gotten during our lunch slowly enveloped the two of us and I noticed his shoulders sag slightly as he relaxed.

          “You did well to wait for my order to fight back,” he almost purred and I eyed him as he watched my face for a reaction.

          “Just doing my job my King,” I smiled and he chuckled, the sound making a wave of pleasure roll down my spine. I looked away as I tried to ignore all the signs my body was giving me. “Thank you for letting me hit him.”

          “He needed to be put in his place,” the King grumbled. “And I’m always game to knock a Lancaster down a few pegs.”

          We shared a mischievous smile as the other two approached.

          “Just look at them,” Kerry jeered. “Smiling like madmen, plotting away as he corrupts your daughter.”

          “You’ve done more plotting today than I have,” I spat.

          “Bullshit,” he snapped back. “Don’t act like you haven’t thought about getting back at me for the wine.”

          “The wine?” my mother inquired.

          “I may have given your daughter some _very_ strong wine to go with their lunch this afternoon. On the King’s orders,” he added quickly.

          “And as usual, he went above and beyond. Damn near poisoned her,” the King added.

          “You got her drunk?” my mother gasped in astonishment. “How could you hear her through the giggles?”

          I growled as the two men’s eye immediately snapped to me as they grinned.

          “Carefully,” the King laughed. “Got a very interesting story about trying to run off with the gypsies.”

          “Excuse me?” Kerry howled as my mother cried with laughter. I could feel my face and ears growing hot as I glared at the King.

          “She did!” she managed to say through her laughter. “Came running home after one of the guys got a little too frisky. Never in my life have I seen a teenager run away so quickly from sex. Especially with such a handsome man.”

          I gulped hard as the burn of embarrassment flowed down my neck.

          “He came looking for her too!” she continued and I opened my mouth to cut her off.

          “Don’t interrupt your mother,” the King ordered as he put his hand over my mouth. I shoved away the feeling I got as his warm fingers cupped my face and continued to glare.

          “Wanted to apologize for startling his ‘Little Dove’,” she choked out the pet name before continuing her rolling laughter.

          I shut my eyes tight as Kerry doubled over with laughter.

          “Little Dove,” he repeated, and my lips curled into a snarl under the King’s hand.

          “Said he loved the way she danced. ‘Like watching a dove fly’ he said.”

          “That’s something I’d have to see for myself,” the King teased and my mother shot him a glance before looking slyly at me.

          “Apparently half the troop wanted a piece of my sweet little daughter,” she hissed and the two men immediately erupted in hysterical laughter as I swatted away the King’s hand and began to push my mother towards the exit.

          “We’re done here! I loved seeing you, but I think it’s time for you to go home!” I barked. My mother leaned in close and kissed my burning cheek.

          “I did say the new rank would attract someone nice, but I wasn’t expecting someone so important,” she whispered in my ear. “I saw the way you talked to the King.”

          I growled again and started to argue but she hushed me.

          “Don’t be afraid to chase those feelings my love,” she muttered seriously. “Take it from me, that regret is not something you want to live with.”

          I didn’t say anything as she walked away and waved to the men behind us. They didn’t see the look in her eyes as she made her way back to my step-father. It was the same sad look I had seen every time it rained as she sat by the window and watched the droplets fall across the panes while trying not to cry.


	4. Breaking Loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured I might include a pronunciation guide real quick:  
> Keryna: Kur-ee-nuh (emphasis is on the second syllable)  
> Deriny'a: Dur-in-yuh (emphasis on the last syllable)

          I stretched out as I sat sideways in the chair of the King’s bed chamber. The sun was just starting to reach its warm fingers out across the sky as I yawned and let my head fall back while I waited for my King.

          It had been about a month since the banquet, and while I wasn’t overjoyed at being awake this early, I was glad that there wouldn’t be any more council meetings this week because of this. For the first time since becoming his personal guard, we were going on a hunting trip and I couldn’t have been more excited to get out of the castle.

          I had been used to feeling cramped as a basic soldier. When there wasn’t a skirmish or bandits to deal with, we would get cabin fever and go a little stir crazy, but we could always fight each other to keep in practice or just go outside and wander the city. I didn’t have that luxury anymore as I had to follow my King everywhere as he went about his day.

          I had been limited to a small handful of areas in the castle: the throne room, the dining hall, the wing where our rooms were, and occasionally the training yard. I thought being trapped in the barracks during the winter was bad, but this was starting to get to me. I was amazed at how he could do it without going crazy. Maybe that was really how he became the Mad King.

          “What are you grinning about?” Kerry grumbled. I wasn’t the only one who was up early, but I was dealing with it better than the adviser as he trudged from the study and into the main room.

          “I’m glad to finally be out of this place for a while,” I smiled as I sat correctly in the chair.

          “This doesn’t happen often,” Kerry muttered. “Don’t get too used to it.”

          “It doesn’t happen often because I don’t feel like taking a small squad out to the cabin and listening to them complain while I try to relax,” the King spat as he came around from the small bathing room he had tucked away in the rear of his room. “It’s amazing how having four or five men awkwardly watch you eat can kill a hunting trip.”

          He was wearing almost the exact same thing I was: simple leather chest piece, bracers, grieves, and boots but where I had a battle skirt with only some tartan, he had a thick wool tartan wrapped around his waist. His armor had more decorations as well, the gold buckles and silver stitching glimmering in the low light of morning. He drew a black cloak around himself as he walked over to his bed where he had his supplies laid out and ready to be packed away.

          My own supplies were limited. I had extra clothes, various potions, a few rations, a deck of cards, and my bedroll. He had told me to not worry about food and drink, that there were already some basics at the cabin. I watched as he stuffed a few books, some rations, potions and a thick blanket into his pack.

          “You saying this might become more frequent?” Kerry asked as I rose and adjusted my own cloak, pulling the hood up before I tossed my pack, quiver, and bow onto my back.

          “We’ll see how the next five days goes,” my King smiled as he too loaded all his gear on. “But my hope is yes. I need some time away from here as much as anyone else.”

          “Who wouldn’t want to run off to the woods with a woman for a week?” Kerry muttered under his breath and I stared him down.

          “Get a woman who wants to run off with you and maybe she can pull the stick out of your ass,” I growled. I had given up trying to stop Kerry’s incessant teasing, instead I usually tried to throw my own barbs when I could.

          “Watch it ‘Little Dove’,” he scowled as he threw my embarrassing new nickname at me. Kerry had taken to calling me that when he couldn’t think of anything better to snap back.

          I had grown close to the two men in just the few weeks I had been with them, but each in very different ways. I was no longer afraid to squabble with Kerry, he had broken that down quickly with his constant teasing and wisecracking. Now we were more like siblings as we threw insults and jeered each other with careless abandon.

          My King on the other hand had stayed more or less the same despite our constant contact. I still watched what I said and didn’t let any of my smart remarks slip out unless we were alone. Once we were in the relative privacy of his study or bedroom, I was a little more relaxed. I would let myself joke around a little as he read battle reports, providing color commentary to help break the monotony, but the respect was still there. I was polite and followed orders, the way I was supposed to, and more often than not we spend most of our time together in comfortable silence.

          What did change was my view of the Mad King. I had watched him execute bandit leaders only to escape to his room so that he could sit in his chair by the fire and spend half an hour with his head in his hands as he watched the flames dance in front of him. I learned that he didn’t always enjoy killing, that sometimes it hurt him enough that he needed to take the rest of the day off. He told the guards and council that he was angry that scum like that still existed in his kingdom and needed to be alone to cool down, and while he wasn’t lying and his blood thirsty persona was only somewhat of an act, once we closed the door to his chambers he would drop the façade like a heavy cloak and sink into his chair. Occasionally he would talk to me, let me into his head a little but ultimately, I could tell he was still on guard. I hadn’t gained his trust yet and he was keeping me at a safe distance.

          I kept my mouth shut and never spoke a word of anything we discussed with anyone. Even when Kerry tried to pry on the rare occasion he caught me alone, I was tight lipped. I had promised my King that he was the only one I served and that I would be careful who I told what, and I had no intentions of breaking that promise.

          The door cracked open slightly as Meg cautiously poked her head in before entering. I raised my eyebrows at her as she stepped up to us. She didn’t normally hesitate, she usually just walked in without a pause to do whatever it was she needed to do.

          “Usually there are daggers involved when I come in this early,” she smiled and bowed to us. Kerry snorted at her remark and I nodded my head as a small bow to her. I glanced over to my King, who was rolling his eyes at the woman.

          “It’s simple. If I’m in bed, don’t talk,” he grunted and she covered he smile with her hand.

          “Your horses are ready and waiting,” she said with a smile still pulling at her lips. I sighed happily.

          “Deriny’a probably misses me,” I explained as Kerry eyed me curiously.

          “She did seem to understand what was going on,” Meg said as she lead us down to the stables. “Got very excited when I put the saddle on.”

          My month in the wing with Kerry and the King had also taught me that Meg was more than just a maid. She was basically what kept those two running smoothly. Preparing horses, serving meals, fixing clothes, keeping the fires lit and well fueled. She has also grown on me more than I thought a servant would. If Kerry was like an annoying sibling, she was absolutely the sister I never had growing up. It had become a ritual for her to braid my hair in the mornings while I sleepily ate breakfast in the King’s chambers. She was always made sure to put in the small braid that exposed my ear while Kerry told the King and I what the plans for the day were.

          As we entered the stables, my dapple grey Percheron whinnied and snorted as soon as she saw me. I smiled wide and gently pet her neck as the mare nuzzled my shoulder.

          “I know sweetheart,” I apologized as she stomped her foot. “It’s been too long.”

          “Does Deriny’a mean what I think it does?” Meg asked as I led my horse out of her stall.

          “If you’re thinking of the thunder goddess,” I smiled as I checked that all the straps of her harness and saddle were tight and added my pack to the things that were already strapped to her haunches.

          “Stormborne has a horse named after a thunder deity,” Kerry teased and looked to the King who was leading his black Friesian stallion out. “She’s almost as bad as you about themes.”

          “It’s not a theme,” I snapped as I slipped a sugar cube to my horse, who greedily took it from my hand. “My neighbors had a pregnant horse who gave birth to twins during a storm. I got to keep her and felt the name was fitting.”

          “Isn’t that exactly how you got your name though?” Meg asked innocently and I stared at her for a moment with my mouth agape. It had never occurred to me that she had the knowledge to pick apart my name.

          “What?” my King asked as he mounted his horse.

          “That’s how bastard elves are named,” I said quietly as the irony hit me hard. “They’re named as if the father was the environment the child was born in. Sunborne, Windborne, Stormborne.”

          “So you were born during a storm,” Meg said as she drew the connection for us. “Just like your horse.”

          I rested my head on Deriny'a’s neck as she happily munched on her treat and tried to hide from the rolling laughter that was shattering the morning stillness.

          “I never made the connection,” I said as I climbed up into the saddle.

          “Sometimes you just have to name them what you feel should be their name,” the King shrugged as he rode up beside me.

          “Says the man who named his horse Edgar,” Kerry chuckled, and the stallion snorted at the sound of its name.

          “He seems like an Edgar,” the King muttered as he patted the neck of his mount.

          “Well you two have fun,” Meg chirped and stepped back towards the castle. “I’m going to take this opportunity to straighten up your study.”

          “Just don’t touch anything on my desk,” the King smiled. “That I’ll need to deal with when we get back. Unless Kerry gets bored and lonely without us and wants to help his King.”

          “I’m already going to be playing King while you’re gone anyway so I might,” the younger man shrugged sleepily. “After I go back to bed that is.”

          The two waved us off and we made our way through the castle walls and into the surrounding city. It had been so long since I had been in Achievement City. Between my new duties and the training before hand, there wasn’t much time for anything else. The city was starting to come to life as shopkeepers stepped out to begin opening and the smell of cooking food wafted through the air. Our horse’s hooves were muffled by the dirt roads, but they still managed to echo through the sleepy capitol.

          Eye’s watched us from behind curtains as we passed though. It wasn’t often that the King was seen in the main part of the city outside of events, but it certainly must have been a shock to see him with only one other party member.

          “Why aren’t you bringing any other guards?” I mused as I watched a little girl stare in awe as we passed by. I gave her a small smile and she blushed before running into her home.

          “Like I said before,” he said as he too looked around, though people didn’t seem as happy to meet his gaze. “It ruins the point if I still have to be King and be watched like a hawk by a squad of soldiers. Besides, all the armor scares away game.”

          “You really think I’m the same as a squad?” I asked as a teen aged elf boy eyed me on Deriny’a. When his eyes made their way up to my face, he dropped the bucket he was carrying as he saw that I had noticed his gaze. I heard the King chuckle as he too watched the flustered young man.

          “You’re not as strong as a whole squad,” he explained. “But you are certainly more than enough to watch my back while hunting, and you’re much better company.”

          “You mean I know how to keep quiet and leave you be,” I grinned. When I looked over to him, he smiled and tapped his nose.

          When we reached the edge of the city, the guards saluted their King and stepped off the road to let us pass. I turned to look back at the city and saw that the guards were already whispering to each other once we were out of earshot. I sighed heavily and looked back towards the winding road that led to the forest.

          “So you do know that the rumors will start up again, right?” my King asked as I sadly looked ahead. I grit my teeth and nodded stiffly. They had finally stopped, or at least I had stopped hearing about it, but he was right. The Mad King spends five days alone with his young female body guard? I hated to admit it, but I would assume the same thing as everyone else if it wasn’t me.

          “I almost wish we were going to see the gypsies,” I grumbled and he gave me a questioning look. “At least then I could get laid like they assume. Just not by you.”

          He snorted and let his head roll back as he burst into laughter. I couldn’t help smile as he wiped tears from his eyes. It was always nice to see him comfortable around me and let the walls drop even more than they already had. I was eager for him to trust me so that he would tell me why he needed a body guard in the first place. I needed to know what I had to protect him from.

          “Maybe next time they’re nearby,” he smile and gave me a sly look. “I’ll be sure to bring their ‘Little Dove’ back to them for a visit.”

          My nostrils flared as heat exploded across my cheeks. I gripped my reins tight and stared forward as the King rolled with laughter again.

          “I’m glad you think it’s funny,” I sneered and looked back at him after his laughter had quieted some. My sneer melted as I was met with a genuine and tender look of apology.

          “It was too good to pass up,” she smiled softly as he watched the blush retreat from my face. “But I agree with your sentiments. You’re not the only one who’s getting _none_ of the action everyone thinks you are.”

          He was talking and being more candid than normal and I could feel my own inhibition slipping as I looked around. No one could sneak up on us in the open fields like they could in the castle, I didn’t have to watch my mouth as closely.

          “I’m sure they could offer you something in return for bringing me back,” I winked and he gave me a short laugh.

          “Every time I go visit the gypsy troop, I have half a dozen guards and maybe a general or two in tow. As much as I would love to relax enough to even let someone get that close to me, I can’t,” he griped.

          “Why not?” I asked and relaxed into the saddle as Deriny’a kept to the path on her own.

          “Think about it,” he huffed and gave me an incredulous glance. “You’ve seen how the council hops on my ass about getting a queen, think of the fucking fit they would throw if I slept with a gypsy.”

          He was right, and I felt bad for him. My first week I got to witness the council try to strong arm him into taking a queen, using the rumors of our nonexistent relations as a platform to jump from. They tried to convince him that getting married would quiet the rumors and we could go on about our days without a hassle. He told them no and that it would only start rumors of me being his mistress. That shut them up for a while, but I imagined they would try again after our return.

          “Well, I did promise to keep my mouth shut and not talk to anyone but you,” I shrugged slyly as I saw a smirk appear on his face. “And if I’m busy and have my own hands full, I can’t confirm or deny the King’s activities.”

          His low chuckle made me bit my lip as we approached the trees.

          “But you’re supposed to be with him at all times,” my King said as he mocked one of the council members particularly nasally tone. “What if she was actually an assassin? Or what if in eighteen years a bastard shows up and tries to take the throne?”

          “That’s playing the long game,” I giggled. “Intentionally bedding the King just so you can raise his kid to over throw him? And that’s assuming she got pregnant in one go!”

          “It’s possible,” he said simply. “That’s another reason why I can’t. Well, more like ‘Don’t want to.’ Too much risk for little Mad Prince’s and Princess’.”

          “You’re safer with the gypsies than at a brothel. I mean that the gypsies have methods of ensuring that babies don’t happen if they aren’t wanted,” I commented before I realized I was out of line and immediately started back tracking when he threw me a very angry look as I suggested that he might go to a brothel.

          I bit my tongue as he looked straight ahead at the road, his face stony and impassable as his walls shot up again. I had over stepped his comfort and he was pushing me back to an acceptable distance. I felt my heart drop slightly as the silence continued for more than a moment.

          “I know they do,” he said, the humor from just a minute ago totally gone. “But they can take those amulets off without me noticing until it’s too late.”

          “You’re assuming anyone would actually do that to you. Again, that’s a long and risky game to play,” I said softly and his eyes locked with mine. The world seemed to slow as I saw the anger in his eyes and a chill washed over me.

          “I’m the Mad King,” he growled as he tugged on Edgar’s reins to stop him.

          I gulped hard as I stopped Deriny’a and his glare continued to set of warnings in my mind. My mind and body told me to run as the Mad King’s icy blue eyes burned into me, but I stood firm and held my gaze with his.

          “I will always assume that people are out to get me. That even the people I trust are just playing the ‘long game’ in an attempt for glory. Imagine all the fan fair you would get for being the one who could break down the Mad King to the point of being able to slip in and kill him.”

          He had begun the shake from rage and the fire burned behind his eyes as he watched me carefully. He was looking for a sign, something that would tell him that he was right and that he had just caught me. I could feel my own anger flare up in the pit of my stomach as his glare offended me.

          “I have no desire for glory if that’s what you’re getting at,” I hissed back at him. “And how dare you accuse me of wanting to stab you in the back?”

          “Can you blame me?” he grunted.

          “I swore to you that I-”

          “You could be lying!” he snapped as he drew his sword and leveled it with my neck. The horses whinnied and stomped anxiously, but the blade remained just a hair away from my throat.

          “Then kill me. End the threat before you can’t stop it.”

          I don’t know why I challenged him. I knew he would lop my head off if he really thought I was double crossing him, but it felt like the thing to do. I closed my eyes and waited for the sound of his blade slicing through the air. I felt my anger turn to sadness as I thought of how my mother would react to the news. My step-father would tell her that I deserved it for mouthing off, and maybe he was right, but I couldn’t help but to worry about her. Would she continue to hide her tears when it rained?

          The sound of a sword sliding home into its scabbard made me open my eyes to see what was going on but everything was blurry. I blinked a few times and tears fell down my cheeks as my movement broke them loose. I inhaled sharply and a shuddering whimper escaped my mouth as my body began to shake. He sat in silence as I wiped away my tears and gathered myself back together.

          “We can go back to the castle,” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him over my shaking breathing. “We could probably hide in our rooms for the rest of the day before anyone noticed we came back.”

          I looked up at him as I laughed. He was looking sadly towards Achievement City, the gentle breeze blowing his hair across his face. It looked like a painting with the fields of wheat bending to the wind behind him as he tried to not look at me, but I could see the shame in his eyes. When I laughed he looked at me with lightly furrowed brows.

          “I’ll be damned if we go back now,” I smiled as I pushed away the last of my fear. “I can already hear Kerry. ‘Can’t handle gypsies or the King. What are you hiding that makes you run anytime the hint of sexual contact appears?’”

          A small smile pulled on his lips and he turned back to the face me. I froze as we locked eyes again, but this time he just looked tired and sad. I felt the need to lean over and kiss his cheek, but quickly shoved it away to where I put all my other obtrusive thoughts of the King.

          “I’m not sure he’d use so many words,” the King said finally and spurred Edgar forward. “He’d probably just comment on how ‘Little Dove’ flew home again.”

          I could feel the blush turn my cheeks pink as I followed just behind him, and I let myself get lost in the way his hair brushed against his stubble lined jaw.


	5. Making Headway

          It was sometime around noon when we decided to stop to let our horses rest and so we could eat. He had motioned for me to follow him as he dismounted Edgar and led him off into the trees. Soon we came out in a clearing the sat beside a small creek. The midday sun shone down through the trees and I felt it’s warmth for the first time since we had entered the dense tree cover.

          We had ridden in silence after our altercation, and that silence continued as we let the horses graze and stuffed dried meat and fruit into our own mouths. He watched  Dariny’a nuzzle my pocket as I sat in the sun and chewed on some jerky.

          “You got your treat already,” I scolded. She huffed in response and continued to push at my pockets.

          “I think she missed you,” my King smiled as he looked at his own horse who was drinking from the creek.

          “She missed the sugar cubes,” I grunted as I pushed her head away. She snorted before walking over to join Edgar. “I’ll believe she missed me when she nuzzles anything but my pockets.”

          He chuckled and our silence resumed. I laid back, closed my eyes, and let the sun warm my face for a bit while I listened to the forest. I could hear the birds chirping in the canopy and the moving water made me feel like I could just melt into the ground and stay here forever.

          “Are there any mobs?” I ask as I realized that I hadn’t seen or heard a spider or creeper all day.

          “Not around here,” he sighed and I peeked out from under my eyelids to see where he had moved to. He was using his pack to prop himself up as he lay in the sun like I did.

          “I let a feral cat colony live in the woods to drive away the creepers and spiders don’t like how dense it gets here.”

          “So what will we be hunting?”

          “Deer mostly, but it wouldn’t surprise me if we ran across some boar and hare.”

          “Any fowl?”

          “No,” he said and sounded almost as upset as I felt. I loved bird hunting, the moving target made it more enjoyable and satisfying.

          Once again, I found myself staring at the King as he fell silent again. His armor sparkled in the sun as his breathing changed its position enough to refract its light in a beautify display of gold and silver. He bent his knee and the movement drew my gaze as his kilt slid down his thigh.

          I shot upright and desperately tried to quell the faint burn that had started to form between my legs. My mother’s words at the banquet echoed through my head but I pushed them away like I did with every other sensual thought I had about the King. There was no way in hell I was going to let every person who said I had slept with him have the satisfaction of me thinking about him like that, even if they didn’t know it.

          My sudden movements had startled the man in question and I waved my hands as his hand wrapped around his sword.

          “I thought I heard something, but it was just some birds in the trees,” I quickly lied and sighed when he let go of the handle.

          “We should get going anyway,” he grunted as he got to his feet.

          He held out a hand and helped me up as we grasped each other’s forearm. When I tried to let go, he held firm and looked me in the eyes. He still looked tired, but the sadness had faded quite a bit.

          “I’m sorry about this morning,” he said with a noticeable amount of effort and I raised an eyebrow as he continued. “I jumped to conclusions and mistook your relaxed comments as an attempt to get at me. I know that I have to be wary around people because of my position but I stepped way out of line and let my paranoia take over. It doesn’t help that I’m actually getting comfortable around you and that freaks me out a bit. I did the same thing with Kerry, but it’s really important that I don’t chase you off and-”

          “Why?” I cut off his nervous rambling and judging by the way his mouth hung open, he wasn’t totally sure what he had been saying or what I was referring to.

          “Why is it important that you don’t chase me off?” I filled in for him and he looked away from me. I felt his grip on my arm tighten for a moment as he thought, so I squeezed his in return. He looked back to me and I could see the fight he was having with himself as his eyes searched my face for answers I didn’t know the question to.

          “If you were going to chase me off, it would have been this morning,” I murmured reassuringly, and his eyes stopped shaking as he scanned my face.

          “We need to go,” he said as he quickly released my arm and turned to grab Edgar.

          I wanted to stop him, to pull him back and make him tell me what was going on, but I caught a glimpse of the same frenzied look he had this morning as he tossed his pack back onto his horse. I kept my mouth shut as he guided me back to the road. I could tell by how swiftly he climbed into the saddle that he was panicking again. The way his shoulders squared and back straightened even as we rode on made me worry a little.

          I didn’t press him further, instead I let us return to our comfortable silence. I would only be threatened again, possibly even killed this time, if I bothered him and I was confident that he would tell me in due time. I just needed to let him do it on his own terms.

          As the sun started to dip low in the sky I was getting antsy, even as the King assured me that we were close. I had dismounted Deriny’a and walked on ahead as I twirled my enchanted dagger in my hand.

          “I’ve never see you get this worked up,” he called out to me as I put the blade away before I carelessly hurt myself.

          “I don’t know why I’m so high strung all of a sudden,” I complained as I stopped to let him catch up. While I waited, I watched as the setting sun cast long shadows on the forest floor but motion caught my eye. Something was lurking through the trees and my hand drifted to my sword as the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

          “You mentioned creepers and spiders, but what about other mobs?” I asked as he slowed to a halt and followed my gaze.

          “I haven’t had a report of any zombies out here for months,” he responded, his voice slow and even while he helped me scan the trees. “Same for skeletons. We’re too far west of the Stronghold for Enderman, even for the most adventurous ones.”

          “This is smaller,” I said as I saw a glint of white fur pass through a beam of sunlight. “Wolves maybe?”

          “There is a pack of wolves that hunt around here,” he muttered and I pulled out my sword as the movement got closer. “They usually don’t bother us though.”

          “You also usually have four more, iron clad guards,” I told him and looked over to him to make sure he was far enough into the road that he and the horses were safe from any lunging wolves.

          No sooner had I turned my head to check their positioning when the sound of sticks snapping and a deep huff erupted from the tree cover as a large white wolf threw itself at me.

          I side stepped the beast but a paw did connect with my shoulder, so I stumbled slightly as I put myself between it and the now startled horses. The King’s armor clattered as he hopped off Edgar and tried to control the spooked creatures. The wolf stood low as it sized me up and lunged again, its mouth wide open and dripping with saliva.

          I thrust my sword forward and let go as I felt it meet resistance but ultimately tore through the back of the animal’s maw. I jumped aside as the wolf’s momentum carried it through its jump until it skidded to a stop at the end of the arch. I kept my eyes on the white heap on the road and watched for a moment, but I didn’t see any so I quickly ran to the King and grabbed Deriny’a’s reins from him. We each shooshed and pet our horses until the terrified look disappeared from their eyes.

          “You deserve this now,” I kissed my mare’s muzzle as I fed her a sugar cube.

          She flicked her tail in agitation, but she stopped moving her feet as she crunched on the sweet. I looked over to the King and smiled as I saw him standing with his forehead pressed to Edgar’s. I quietly slipped another cube into my hand and held it out for the stallion. His nostrils flared as he sniffed my palm before licking up the sugar.

          “How many of those to you have?” the King asked as I rubbed the black muzzle of his horse.

          “Enough,” I smiled.

          After ensuring that the horses were okay, we turned to look at the poor beast I had slain. I retrieved my sword and cleaned it with my cloak as the King inspected the body.

          “Impressive maneuver,” he gave me an impressed hum. “Not a single cut on the pelt, and the meat will be mostly intact.”

          “You make it sound like it was intentional,” I smirked as it sheathed the blade. “I was absolutely just stabbing at squishy bits. And it’s the first time I’ve wielded this new sword so I’m really glad I didn’t end up with an injury.”

          “About that,” he muttered and nodded to my shoulder.

          I looked down at my left shoulder and could immediately tell that it was dislocated by the way it was unnaturally farther back compared to my body. One thing that I had learned at a young age was that when my adrenaline got pumping, pain wasn’t a problem unless the cuts were deep, or bones were broken. This numbing effect is why I was only just now beginning to feel the painful prickle of upset nerves as I tried to close my hand, but only got a light curl.

          “I can fix that,” the King muttered as he carefully extended my arm to lay it over his own shoulder.

          He worked his hands under my armor so that he could get a good grip on my upper arm just above the elbow and gripped my shoulder between the injured joint and my neck with the other. I closed my eyes and turned my head as he adjusted his stance. I didn’t need to be told that it would hurt, but he did do a countdown out of curtesy.

          He pulled my arm towards him as he pushed my shoulder away and I grunted as the pain started to hit. I whimpered loudly and sobbed once as there was an audible pop that told me that my shoulder was back in its socket. I let out a long groan as the King gently prodded around the joint to make sure that it was in correctly.

          “I assume you already know that you need to lay off it for tonight?” he asked as he let go of me. I nodded in response and gripped his armor as I tested my range of motion.

          “Good,” he said as he went to Edgar to retrieve a small bottle of red liquid from his pack. “Drink this and you should be fine by tomorrow. For now, looks like Edgar has a new rider for a bit.”

          With that he heaved the dead wolf over his shoulder with a short grunt and carried to his horse before throwing it into the saddle. Edgar snorted and stomped around but ultimately accepted the load. I watched as he almost effortlessly threw around the eighty-pound animal and felt a familiar ache in my chest as all the thoughts I’ve been suppressing tried to surface. I rolled my eyes as I downed the minor health potion, which immediately reduced the throbbing pain from my injured joint. This trip was going to be an adventure, and not just because of the location and intent, but because there was nothing to distract me.

          I didn’t have to be sure no one saw me watching how the King idly twirled his cloak when he was bored. Kerry wasn’t here to catch me admiring the way his hair fell across his face while he read. Meg wasn’t standing behind the King and wiggling her eyebrows as he just grabbed whatever part of me he could without thinking and absentmindedly used me as support while he adjusted his boots. The only thing that stopped me from watching his armor rise to expose a bit of his stomach as he stretched was Deriny’a gently nudging my injured shoulder.

          She snorted happily as I reached up to hug her neck before we set off on the final leg of our journey. We walked side by side as we lead our horses down the road, and he told me about the cabin we would be staying in. Apparently, it was something King Geoff had made for the exact reason we were going. So that the King could go and not be king for a while.

          It was a simple one room cabin that butted up against a high cliff face deep in the woods. It had a single bed for the King, a kitchen area, and open living space. There was a stable for horses as well as a hot spring that was fed by a waterfall that came from the rocks. I couldn’t wait to let my arm soak in the hot water.

          “So Geoff made this just because?” I inquired as he began to lead me off the main path and down one that I had barely noticed brake away at a sharp angle. It was so overgrown from lack of travel that it was a little difficult to traverse while I tried to baby my arm.

          “He wanted to get away from it all,” my King shrugged, and I gulped hard as his hair fell in front of his blue eyes when he looked back to talk to me. “When I first took over, I thought he was just lazy or weak. Now I fully understand the sentiments.”

          “Did Ray or Michael every use it during their reigns?” I asked simply and I saw him bristle at the mention of the previous king. I watched him carefully as I waited to see if I accidentally set him off.

          “Yes,” he said as he shook himself a little. “Though Michael almost solely used it as a hunting outpost. He wasn’t as leisurely inclined as the two previous rulers.”

          There was silence as he broke through the undergrowth ahead of me and I thought about the instability that plagued the throne after Geoff stepped down and gave it to Ray. Geoff had unified the land and rules for decades before he finally decided to abdicate. At the time, he had no children who were old enough to take over. Not that he would let them, he was notoriously protective of his children and it was rumored that he didn’t want any of them to take over because he didn’t want to watch any of them die.

          So, he gave the Kingdom to Ray in lieu of risking an heir. I was born in the middle of the Rose King’s reign, and my mother told me that she had high hopes for the young king’s rule. She said it was peaceful right up until the first attacks made by Michael when I was four years old. Michael, dubbed the Warrior King, was one of Geoff’s other candidates and did not take losing to Ray well. He thought that the kingdom would need a strong fighter for a King, and not the laid back and chill King that Ray was. The war lasted only a year, but in that time the Kingdom was ravaged by bandits while the military was busy defending Achievement City. The day Ray left, banished from his kingdom, was the day he gave me the rose as he passed through the outskirts of the land that used to be his. At the time I didn’t know that of course, I just thought he was done and let Michael have it.

          Michael ruled until I was around thirteen and I remember it being relatively peaceful. The struggle for him was that he wasn’t totally prepared to be King when there wasn’t fighting going one. The monotony of counsel meetings and general upkeep wore him down. It was when he started to collapse under the pressure that the Mad King saw his chance and took it. His quest for the throne was quick as it took less than a month for the crown to transfer to him, but his bloody reputation came from the aftermath.

          The first years of his rule were full of resistance as many people thought Michael was doing fine and were upset by seeing him banished. Many small armies were raised in the name of the former King as they faced down the current’s army in his honor. After a long period of time full of bloodshed, the Mad King’s iron fist finally came down and the people of the kingdom relented into the wary peace that it was now under. He did a good job of keeping them safe from criminals, so they were willing to turn a blind eye to his extreme methods.

          “Is that what you’re afraid of? For Michael to come back?” I wondered aloud before I could stop myself. I bit my tongue and waited for the retaliation. I watched as his head slowly rolled from one shoulder to another and his grip on Edgar’s reins tightened.

          “I wish it was that simple,” he sighed sadly as his grip loosened. I let out a sigh of relief and he turned his head to look at me with a smirk. “You’re really pushing your luck today, aren’t you?”

          “I’m not trying,” I smiled back. “I just don’t have to be careful like normal, so I’m still finding the boundaries.”

          “Oh?” he asked. He had now completely stopped and because of the small path and our fully loaded horses I was almost chest to chest with him.

          “Well I mean, unless Kerry is hiding behind a tree or there’s someone this far off the road, we’re totally alone,” I explained and the realization that we _were_ alone made my fingertips tingle. “So I don’t have to worry about prying ears or maintaining appearances.”

          “You mean you don’t always say what you want around me?” he continued, the serious tone contradicting the playful glimmer in his eyes.

          “Look at what it’s gotten me into today,” I smirked. “And I still have been watching myself.”

          His low chuckle and half smile made my stomach flip and I fought to maintain eye contact even though I desperately wanted to shy away.

          “This is going to be an interesting few days Little Dove,” he said slyly.

          I felt my jaw stiffen as he used that name and not because it was embarrassing, but because I liked the way it sounded. My bottled feelings suddenly exploded and left me feeling giddy and aroused as he slowly turned away from me, the last rays of sunlight glinting off his crown and making his blue eyes stand out against his shadowed face.

_“Don’t be afraid to chase those feelings,”_ my mother seemed to whisper in my ear again and I watched the way his kilt swayed around his legs as he continued leading me into the woods.

          I wasn’t going to chase those feelings, not yet anyway. In the meantime, if I was going to keep having these obtrusive thoughts about him, I might as well give in to them. No one had to know that I found the King incredibly attractive. Besides, they already assumed as much.


	6. Coming Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Ryan does some butchering in this one

When we finally broke through the trees and into the clearing where the cabin was, my shoulder had started to ache again. By the time we unloaded the horses and set them up in the stable, it felt like it was on fire.

“The potions are a little old, but I didn’t think they had lost that much potency,” the King said as he frowned over my swelling arm. “It’s going to take more than one to heal it up by tomorrow.”

I wanted to argue, to say that I could still fire a bow injured, but as he gently moved it around the pain would flare up to the point where I would see stars.

“It’ll probably help to take the armor off,” I muttered as I noticed how tight the leather was feeling around me. He nodded in agreement and I started to undo the buckles of my upper armor pieces. “I can see the hot spring, but is there anywhere with cool water that I can soak it? Or at least to soak a wrap for it?”

“Follow the stream that comes from the spring,” he said as he helped me get the buckles on the side of my chest piece. “The heat dissipates quickly as runoff from the hills flows in.”

Once only my tunic and chest wrap were all that were between my torso and the cool evening air, I breathed a sigh of relief as my shoulder already started to feel better. He handed me a bundle of bandages before he started to take his own armor off. As much as I wanted to stay and watch him undress, I wasn’t _that_ desperate and my shoulder begged for a cold wrap, so I made my way along the stream. I was about to reenter the trees so I knelt down and tested the water. It was surprisingly cold considering its source, and I dunked the bandages below the surface to let them absorb the cool liquid.

I glance over to the King, who had started to skin my wolf in just his tunic, trousers, and boots. I smiled to myself and pulled off my tunic. Mother would have a fit when she found out I was alone with him like this. Since the banquet, she had begun to write me regularly. Mostly she wanted to make sure I was okay, how I was liking my new position, and when she could come visit, but she also made sure to end with asking how the King was and if I was still having feelings.

As I wrapped my shoulder with the cold bandages I bit my tongue. I told her that he was fine, and that I didn’t know what she was talking about. She chided me for ignoring them and went on a several page rant about how I was too young to not take what life was giving me. I had to remind her that I wasn’t being _given_ the King and that I was in no position to start a relationship with the King even if I wanted to.

I had sent a letter to her the day before, telling her that we were going hunting and not to worry when my letter didn’t come as quickly as normal. I smiled to myself as I tucked the end of the wrap into itself and checked to make sure it was secure. I looked forward to reading her response.

I pulled my tunic back over my head and walked back over to the cabin where my King had made short work of the wolf. He already had the pelt cut away from the meat and had started butchering. I cleared my throat loudly so that I didn’t startle him while he had a sharp knife in his hand. While he did jump slightly, he looked over his shoulder at me and stopped to check my shoulder.

“Fastest skinning I’ve ever seen,” I commented as I looked at the fur that was hanging from a rope that was tied between the cabin and a large tree. “I was gone _maybe_ fifteen minutes.”

He smiled slightly as his hands tested my wrapping skills, as if I didn’t know how to field dress injuries myself.

“Practice and a sharp knife can do wonders,” he sighed and stepped away.

I looked him over, blood splattered and sweating from leaning over the animal. His tunic clung to him and was showing the outline of all the muscles of his arms and upper chest. I hadn’t seen him shirtless, even though there were many mornings where he was late to rise so I was by the fire while he dressed, and I had avoided looking in his direction like the plague.

“My eyes are up here,” he whispered, and my gaze snapped up to his sly grin. That was why I never looked.

“Need me to do anything?” I asked quickly before he could continue to tease me. He looked around before shrugging. This shrug was more dramatic than normal, and the action pull his shirt tight across him. I maintained eye contact but raised my eyebrow questioningly to let him know that I did notice that and wasn’t going to fall for it.

“No not really. You can go make your bed if you’d like. Actually, you should start the fire so it’s good and hot by the time I can cut some steaks out of your catch,” he smiled and turned back to his work. “Though I’m not opposed to you watching me while I do this.”

“Where did this come from?” I snorted as he sliced through the meat.

“Where did what come from?” he asked innocently, but I could tell by the way he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye he knew exactly what I meant.

“You’ve gotten flirty all of a sudden,” I hissed and he gave me a smirk.

“I’m only giving back some of what you’ve been throwing at me.”

“What does that mean?” I snapped indignantly. I inhaled sharply as he swiftly turned back to me and stepped into my space. I Instinctively tried to back up, but he grabbed my good shoulder before I could.

“It means that I’ve seen you looking me over all day. Did you know you bite your lip and smile a bit when you see something you like?” I could feel the blush spread like wildfire as he spoke. “I know you didn’t hear anything earlier when we stopped to rest. I moved my leg on purpose because I wasn’t sure if you were looking or not, and I caught you looking again on our way here after you had mentioned that you were relaxing because we were alone.”

“I’ve also seen your sideways glances over the course of our month together,” he continued as his voice dropped to a hushed whisper. “The way you suddenly get bashful when I do something kind for you. I’ve watched the way you look at me evolve from a respectful appreciation to something a little more… intimate.”

I gulped hard as he spoke and was trying to hold back the tears that were forming in the corners of my eyes. I was absolutely mortified that he had noticed everything I had been trying to suppress. I felt exposed and it scared me. I hadn’t been this embarrassed since the first time my step-father had caught me in bed with someone. He drug me out of the house and yelled at me loud enough that the whole village wouldn’t meet my eyes for weeks.

“What’s your point?” I hissed through my gritted teeth. Just talking was enough to set off my trembling and a tear fell down my cheek. His gaze softened as he let go of my arm. I immediately took two steps back.

“I’ve also noticed how you let me panic, but never leave me. You just sit and wait it out until I’m calm enough to approach again. You also let me sit in silence and never ask questions. Kerry is the fucking worst about that. He always tries to talk when all I want is to be quiet for a while and gather myself.”

I let a few more tears fall but I didn’t drop my gaze. His eyes were soft now, looking at me with a cross of pity and worry.

“You let me hold a damn sword to your neck all because I told you to trust me after I fucking drugged you. You have been so loyal to me it freaked me out and I almost killed you. You’ve been patiently waiting for me to explain what’s going on and why I need your silence around everyone else but I still can’t bring myself to explain. I’ve dropped so many red herrings while you’re near and I never hear about them for anyone, so I know you’re doing exactly as I asked, but I still can’t let you in.”

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” I murmured finally.

I needed to break his ramble before he hurt himself with the knife he had forgotten was in his hand. His eyes had started to go crazed again, but now that I knew it wasn’t necessarily in his control I was less afraid. I was still embarrassed as hell and I’d find away to get back at him, but my attraction to him was far less detrimental than whatever it was that had him so on edge. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he continued.

“Yes,” he sighed. “I wanted to be alone so maybe we could relax and maybe I could finally let you in. In on me and why I need a body guard. I didn’t expect you to open up so much immediately and it threw me off and that’s why I’ve been so nuts today.”

“I’m sorry for putting you on the spot,” he muttered as I wiped away my tears and steadied my breathing. “I don’t know why I thought you would respond positively. It’s been very obvious that you don’t know what to do with your feelings and that you don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s because you tackle everything the same way. You jump at it first and figure out what went wrong along the way. I fucking hate it,” I smirked as he looked sheepishly away from me.

“Looks like we both need to work on some things this week,” he said softly.

“Let’s not make it any harder on ourselves than we need to, we are here to relax after all,” I sighed and let my shoulders fall as the last of my anxiety faded from me. “I’ll let you open up at your own pace if you let me deal with my feelings at mine.”

“And what do we do until then?” he asked.

“Well,” I started and smiled a little. “You’re here to not be King for three days. Let’s drop all the façades and just be ourselves. I think it’ll help.”

His eyes widened as he took in a deep breath and let it out quickly.

“That’s a tall order,” he huffed. “I haven’t _not_ been King in a little over ten years.”

“I haven’t _not_ been a soldier for almost as long,” I threw back at him. “I think we can manage something close to normal.”

“Right,” he chuckled. “A couple of normal people who have to go back to playing dress up and politics like nothing happened in a few days.”

We were quiet for a few moments, and I thought he was going to let a comfortable silence fall over us again when he giggled to himself.

“As our first act of normal, can we sleep in tomorrow?” he asked and gave me a soft smile. His eyes twinkled in the full moon light that shone down through the trees and I smiled back as our gazes locked.

“That is the most sensible thing you’ve said all day,” I grinned and his eyes warmed as they flicked down my body before turning back to his butchering.

“I saw that,” I growled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he grinned. “Your shirt is wet by the way.”

My head snapped down and pursed my lips as I realized he was right. I hadn’t dried off, so the bandages soaked through my tunic and half of it clung to my body like his did to him. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and he was smiling wickedly as he worked.

The pang of embarrassment and the accompanying anxiety tried to fade back into my mind, but now that he wasn’t in my face and that I knew he was testing boundaries as much as I have been, it was easy to squash it before I could freak out again. He was my King and he needed me to be stronger than that, even if it was him putting the pressure on me.

“If you’re not King while we’re here, what do I call you?”

“Now Keryna,” he scolded playfully as he skillfully sectioned out cuts of meat. “I know my reputation is a strong one, but I can’t imagine that people don’t know my name.”

“When was the last time someone simply called you Ryan?” I saw him pause at the sound of his name, a brief flash of anxiety causing him to grip the knife tightly before he relaxed again.

“No one has called me just Ryan since my coronation,” he sighed then snorted. “Hell, even before that it was preceded by ‘General’ or ‘Commander’ if they didn’t want to use Haywood. Even Kerry refers to me as ‘King Ryan’, he’s never only used my name. It always has the title.”

“I guess being King doesn’t leave much room for making friends,” I shrugged.

“No, you can make friends,” he laughed before looking up at me. “But it’s really hard to make friends as the Mad King. No one wants to hang around a man who is known for his blood lust. They also don’t want to put that kind of target on their backs.”

“So what does that make me?” I asked and leaned against the table he was butchering the wolf on despite the blood that was now seeping into my sleeves. “I’ve already got the target _and_ I don’t mind the blood lust.”

“Psychotic,” he threw out and looked around like he was searching his brain for more. “Suicidal. Fucking insane. _Masochistic_.”

“Shhhh,” I hissed as he grinned at the last adjective. “You don’t know me.”

“Don’t I though?” the threw back quietly as he leaned over the table to tease me more. “You did just check me out while I’m covered in blood and you didn’t mind what you saw.”

My cheeks flushed slightly and I expected the anxiety to come back as he called me out again, but the way his eyes wandered over my face as he watched to make sure he didn’t cross a line made a small burst of happiness warm my heart.

“I’ve seen you covered in blood before,” I rolled my eyes and he huffed before making his last few cuts into the spent carcass. “I am one of your soldiers after all. I’ve followed you into skirmishes before, seen the Mad King first hand. Maybe that’s why I’m not as afraid as I should be.”

“You’re only proving that you’re a masochist,” he giggled. “All you just said was, ‘I’ve seen him get violent, but it doesn’t turn me off.’”

“It doesn’t exactly turn me on either,” I said indignantly. “It’s not the blood on your shirt that makes it hard not to look. It’s the way it makes the shirt stick to you. Just like you’re probably not turned on by water, but you still liked what it was doing for my figure.”

He had stopped moving all together and was staring at me with a little bit of surprise in his eyes. I was shocked too honestly. I didn’t intend to come across that sexually charged, but now I knew that he knew about my feelings, I found it hard to put the brakes on. Why hide it if it was already in the open? Besides, it had been a long time since I had flirted, and it felt so good.

“Am I in trouble?” he growled. “Did I wake up a beast by telling you what I knew?”

“You’re only in trouble if you don’t open up to me in return,” I said slyly, knowing full well that it would kill the mood, but it was fine. I was starting to get uncomfortable as we inched towards each other over the table, subconsciously trying to physically connect.

“I need to know what’s going on in your head as much as you need to get into mine.”

Our absentminded leaning had almost brought us nose to nose, so when the crazed anxiety made his eyes dilate and his hands audibly dig into the table I inhaled sharply but didn’t move. He needed to know that I wasn’t going to run from him. He gulped hard and returned to standing upright.

“Something is wrong,” he said as he shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes. I wanted to tell him not to do that because of the blood, but I decided against it for the sake of his mental state.

“Are you sure you want to tell me now?” I asked after a moment of clear agitation and internal fighting had started to make him shake. “We have all of the next three or four days t-”

“No,” he said as he cut me off with the tone he used when giving orders, and out of instinct my mouth shut and I waited. “If I don’t get it out tonight, I’m just going to keep talking myself out of it and you deserve to know. Especially if anything comes of this.”

He waved his had between us and looked a little sheepish through his anxious twitching.

“You need to calm down first,” I said and sat up. “You need to go clean yourself up, and I’ll start on dinner while you take a nice long bath. The hot water will help you clear your mind and focus. We can try this again after dinner once you’ve cleared your head and stepped away from the edge of the meltdown you’ve been dancing around all day. It’ll be easier if you’re not already about to break.”

As I spoke, I turned around grabbed a bucket before returning to look at the meat he had cut. I let the silence envelop us as he nodded in agreement and began to clean up the area around the table. I chewed on my lip as I tried to figure out what to make for dinner. Cooking was the only ‘womanly’ thing I knew. I had never been good at sewing, but I could cook pretty well so my step-father was willing to ignore my shortcoming.

I picked up a sizable hunk of meat that had come from the shoulder area and weighed it in my hand.

“Stew?” my King, Ryan, asked as he watched me select the cut I wanted.

“Saw some potatoes and carrots when I was looking through the house earlier, and I think I can work with the limited spices you have here,” I thought out loud.

“I’m sorry my setup doesn’t meet your standards,” he huffed as he mocked me.

“No one’s perfect,” I said simply, and I made sure that he saw my smile. “Not even the King.”

“That could count as treason and is punishable by death ma’am,” he smiled back.

“It’s slander, and it’s a prison sentence at best,” I giggled. He rolled his eyes as he picked up the wolf carcass and walked towards the woods so that he could leave the remains out for any scavengers.

I made my way to the hot spring, the waterfall and steamy surface tempting me to jump in, but my stomach grumbled to remind me that all I had to eat today was jerky and fruit. I yanked my tunic off and washed off the little bit of blood that I had picked up while leaning on the table before rinsing off the meat and filling the bucket.

Once back inside I began the process of cutting the vegetables and shoulder into bitesize pieces while the water boiled. I didn’t have any stock or broth to work with, so I stared at the meager spice cabinet in frustration as I tried to figure out the best way to make sure my stew wouldn’t be bland. Eventually I settled on a generous amount of salt, pepper, and parsley as well as a sprig of rosemary. While digging through the pantry for _anything_ else to add flavor I found some dried onion powder and almost cried.

I stood back and watched the pot boil in the fireplace and shook my head as I remembered what Kerry had asked me the day before.

_“You looking forward to playing house with the King?”_


	7. The Truth

          “For someone who said it wasn’t the best, you sure are eating a lot of it,” I chided.

          Ryan looked up at me from over the rim of his bowl as he drank down the last of his broth. His hair was still damp but the parts that had dried were sticking up in all directions. He had opted to wear a short-sleeved shirt and baggy trousers after he had bathed, and I was in something similar as we sat in front of the fire and finished our meal.

          “Just because it’s not the best, doesn’t mean it’s not good,” he mumbled as he set the bowl down inside of mine.

          I smiled and got up to get the leftovers from the fireplace where I had left it to keep it warm. Ryan jumped as I reached in with my bare hands and pulled the cast iron pot out.

          “Fire doesn’t hurt me remember?” I smiled as I set the food down on the hearth and covered it with the lid.

          “I remember,” he said slowly. “But I’m _sorry_. My first reaction to seeing someone just shove their hands into a fire is to freak out.”

          “You didn’t freak out when I did it the first time,” I noted.

          “I was also a little drunk,” he huffed and I giggled as I thought about what it must have been like on his end of Kerry’s wine.

          “Have you been reading the book I found for you?” he asked as he laid back against his bed.

          The cabin was _maybe_ fifteen feet squared, so it was quite cozy in here with his bed pushed up against one wall and a few chests and cabinets on the other. I had asked how he fit four other men in here, and his answer was simple: He didn’t. They slept outside in tents.

          “Some of it,” I said and hung my head. “I knew I had forgotten something.”

          Ryan shuffled around in his pack before producing a black, leather bound book with red and orange embellishments on the cover.

          “I knew you’d forget,” he smiled and handed me the book.

          I ran my hand along the cover as I smiled back at him. A few days after our first lunch, he pulled this book off one of his many shelves in the study. He said he had found it, but it felt too clean to have been sitting on a shelf for who knows how long, and I assumed that he had bought it or had someone go find it. It was a magic training manual for ‘those who were gifted the fire of the Gods.’ It was everything I would have been taught if my step-father hadn’t immediately snuffed out the possibility when I was young.

          “What have you gotten from it so far? Anything interesting?” he asked.

          “After about twenty pages of lore and magical theory that I only kind of understand, I did find something,” I muttered and flipped to one of the pages I had marked.

          “‘All magic comes from within the user, and thus it ebbs and flows along with their mental state. For fire wielders, this means that intense emotions such as hate, anger, or passion can be used to enhance their magic.’” I read aloud. “It goes on to explain that if I can focus on a strong feeling or memory it can prevent me from getting so tired.”

          “Well?” he asked in a sing-song tone. “Got any memories or feelings you can use as fuel?”

          “That’s the problem. I don’t,” I sighed and reread the passage.

          “You’ve never been angry, or hated someone, or been passionate about something?” he laughed and raised an eyebrow.

          “I mean, I’m sure I have, but I can’t remember anything well enough to do much,” I sighed. “I even tried thinking of beating the shit out of Gereth Lancaster and it only worked for a few days before it stopped helping.”

          “So you _have_ been practicing though. That’s good,” he nodded.

          “It’s hard to find time when I’m not with you or at risk of Meg walking into my room,” I smiled. “But yes, I’ve been practicing.”

          “How do you feel about Meg?” Ryan asked, his voice dropping to a slightly more serious tone.

          “I like her,” I shrugged. “She’s a sweet woman and I enjoy talking to her. Why? Is she on our list of people to be careful around?”

          “Only because she’s a servant, and they tend to get chatty,” he sighed sadly. I watched as his eyes fell to his lap and he began to pick at a string on his pants, and I knew what he was thinking about.

          “You sure you want to do this?” I asked quietly and immediately he nodded. I positioned myself so that I was sitting cross legged facing him and his outstretched feet were touching my knees. I paused for a moment before gently placing my hand on his calf.

          “Take your time,” I murmured.

          He watched me closely, and a wide spectrum of emotions flashed through his eyes. I was drawn into them and found myself getting lost in the blue gems that twinkled in the firelight. I could see every emotion that passed through them. Fear, anxiety, panic, embarrassment, and finally a hint of trust as he took a deep, shuddering breath.

          “Something is wrong,” he repeated himself and I nodded. He opened his mouth to speak again, but his words caught in his throat and I saw the crazy fervor briefly before he was able to rein it in.

          “It’s been a little over ten years since I took over, and if the pattern continues like it has been, my stint on the throne is on borrowed time.” He said it quickly, but I could tell by the way his shoulders sagged that the barrier was broken. I was finally going to learn what my real purpose with him was.

          “Naturally, I started to get paranoid. Started seeing shadows in dark corners and felt like I was being watched constantly. Kerry suggested a body guard, and at first I was against it. The Mad King doesn’t need a body guard!” he exclaimed in a mocking tone.

          “Until one night I woke up and felt like someone was in my room. I pretended to sleep until I heard soft footsteps come around to my side of the bed, but when I opened my eyes I didn’t see anything. I sat up but before I could do much else, they got me. Luckily, he was a bad shot, or at least couldn’t tell his left from his right.”

          He pulled the collar of his shirt down and among the various faded battle scars that littered his skin, one bright pink, horizontal line left a two-inch-long reminder just to the right of his heart.

          I reached out to touch it but stopped myself short. His light huff of laughter brought me out of my concern as I looked back up to his face. He looked sad and tired like he had this morning. He leaned forward, and the action let my outstretched fingertips graze against the scar. I let my fingers trace it and I felt his breath hitch at my touch. The new scar was soft compared to the old ones that surrounded it and when I pressed my palm to it his heart skipped a beat and his chest warmed under my touch.

          “It’s less than a year old,” I observed as I pulled away and sat back. He gave me a sad knowing smile as he let go of his collar.

          “Kerry ignored my objections and got the body guard ball rolling without my permission. You were probably about two or three months into your training when it happened.”

          “So, you think someone is out to get you?” I asked.

          “I _know_ someone’s out to get me, it’s just a matter of who,” he smiled lightly. “That’s when people started to act suspicious. I had lived, and I wasn’t supposed to, so I kept an eye out for anyone who was particularly antsy. There was a council member, a few of my higher-ranking officers, and some low-level merchants that I was able to weasel out and execute, but it didn’t stop after that. I started to hear whispers, parts of conversations that I had with Kerry in private being told by the night guards or staff.”

          “Because you can’t sleep anymore can you?” I asked.

          “I haven’t slept in that bed in nine months,” he shook his head slowly. “I lock myself in the study and fall asleep in my chair. I naturally wake up and get into bed before anyone can notice that I hadn’t slept in it. I can’t even do that sometimes.”

          I thought about the few mornings when I entered his room and he was already up and working but looked dead to the world and I felt my heart ache. I felt bad for sleeping in my bed while he paced anxiously across the hall. My skin suddenly tingled in time with the flickering fire.

          “Don’t feel bad,” he smiled as he read my face. “I had gotten into the habit long before I picked you.”

          “I’m surprised the council let you pick me over some noble’s kid,” I huffed. “Someone they could trust, or at least hold as collateral against any potentially rebellious noble families.”

          “I fought hard for you,” he said simply, and my heart fluttered at the idea. The fire popped and made me jump a little and he laughed quietly.

          “They pushed hard for our friend Gereth,” he continued. “And in the beginning, I agreed with them. You may have had a fighting presence that I couldn’t believe a farmer’s daughter could have, but you’re right. We could use Gereth for control.”

          “But?” I pressed.

          “But then he started to get cocky and strut around the yard like he had already won the position,” he shook his head angrily and I could feel my own anger flickering in my chest. “And the council and Kerry started treating it like fact, even though you handed him his ass every time you saw him. And then our own sparring match.”

          He huffed loudly and a big grin spread across his face. The look he was giving me as he remembered made me feel the heat of the fire on my skin as if I was sitting in it. Warm and tingling as it danced across my skin.

          “That boy went down so easy,” he sighed in amazement. “You all did really, but you were the better fight by far. I thought you were just gonna dance around me like everyone else, and it made me mad. I wanted to fight, so I slashed a little too hard at you. Instead of backing away you rushed me and countered despite the gash I had given you. I broke your nose and you still fought tooth and nail. That was when I said fuck the noble kid. Any safety that came from using him as collateral was nothing compared to what I knew you could do.”

          I felt the heat of blush race across my face and chest as he recounted our fight with so much excitement that it was infectious. I found myself wearing the same dumb grin he was. For a moment, he looked like he was going to throw himself at me and I was so ready to let him, but his grin faded to a knowing smile and he winked at me before continuing.

          “When I told the council this, they laughed at me. They said it didn’t matter, Gereth was already chosen and the last two months of training were just a formality,” he spat. “Even Kerry told me to drop it. That maybe we could promote you a few ranks and you could serve me from there. I finally told them that they could kiss my ass. You were my guard and not that hotheaded pretty boy. Then the rumor started up and not normally might I add. I was used to hearing the night guards whisper about the things I thought were said in privacy. I started to hear that rumor from my _generals_ and even Kerry tried to give me a hard time over it.”

          “That’s normal though. No?” I huffed but the paused as Ryan shook his head.

          “There’s the jeering and teasing that you’re used to, but he was down right _accusing me_ of sleeping with you,” I gulped hard and my fists clenched as he explained and once again there was a loud pop from the fire as a log collapsed. “I was told that I couldn’t have you be my guard and that I should be ashamed of myself for accepting sex as payment for the position. That was when I knew there was more to it. There was more to their insistence on that fuckhead than _just_ leverage. The day I announced that you had won and that you would be officially named my guard at the banquet, I was supposed to say Gereth.”

          My eye’s widened and jaw dropped to the floor. I remembered how absolutely livid he had been when the King had said my name. I also remembered the sly smile that Ryan had while he spoke.

          “I had my ass chewed out for the next three days,” he laughed. “But it was too late. I made up my mind and made it official. Since then they have been quiet on the topic, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

          “Yeah,” I grunted as I thought about it. “ _Too quiet._ ”

          He lit up as soon as I had said it and he reached out and grabbed my shoulders excitedly before letting go of my hurt shoulder when I yelped.

          “Thank the Gods you see it too,” he half giggled and half sighed. “They should be so far up our asses we might as well be puppets, but they have put up _no_ resistance whatsoever. Instead they’ve gone back to trying to force a Queen on me. I shut that shit down years ago. I don’t want to marry for politics and I sure as hell don’t want to put that kind of target on an innocent woman’s back. Why is that where they go to next though? Why is it suddenly so important that I have a noble’s kid around me at all times?”

          I shook my head. I wasn’t able to draw any connections between the two, but he didn’t mind and the vindication that had lit up his eyes never wavered. Someone else was seeing what he’s seeing, and it proved that he wasn’t just a paranoid mess.

          “I’m sorry but I have to,” he said, suddenly grabbing my face and pressing his lips to mine.

          He kissed me for only a second before letting go of me and running his hands excitedly through his hair. I was left wide eyed and in shock as he continued on as if my lips weren’t silently screaming for his to come back.

          “I’m so fucking glad you see it,” he whimpered and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m not crazy and paranoid. It’s real, there’s something going on.”

          “Don’t sound so glad about it,” I giggled.

          He let out a long, soft and shuddering laugh and his body drooped as if a giant weight had been taken from him. More tears streamed down his cheeks as he pulled me in for a tight hug and buried his face in my neck. I hesitated for a moment before wrapping my arms around him and letting myself sink into his hold.  He was so warm against me and the feeling of his breath on my neck reminded me of how long our day had been, and how tired I was.

          “I’m not glad that there’s something going on,” he laughed and the reverberations of it made my skin crawl with pleasure as he managed to hold me tighter. “I’m just so glad that someone else sees it and I don’t have to fight it alone.”

          “You’ll never fight alone as long as I’m here Ryan,” I said before I really knew what I was saying, but I didn’t try to take it back.

          I let him pull me into his lap and cling to me as the last year of stress and terror finally let go of him. I held him tightly as he sobbed into my neck, occasionally reminding him that I was there for him. That he was right to be afraid, but I had promised to keep him safe and I wasn’t going to back down just because the Mad King turned out to be human after all.

          “If anything,” I muttered as he laughed through his softening sobs. “It make’s me want to protect you more.”

          “Even if your King turns to a sobbing mess?” he teased as he tried to control his breathing and pull himself back together.

          “Even if my King turns into a sobbing mess,” I smiled and pushed his hair away from his face as he finally sat up from where he had buried himself in my neck.

          He sniffled as he looked up at me. His eyes and face were red and puffy but the twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes persisted and it made me smile.

          “What?” he croaked as he wiped his face.

          “We started the day with you trying to kill me, and now I’m sitting in your lap rubbing your back while you cry,” I giggled.

          “It has been a wild ride from start to finish,” he laughed with me and his arms tightened as he shifted his weight around.

          “I’m so tired,” I yawned.

          “Me too,” he sighed as he let go of me. “You bring the fire down a bit and I’ll make you a place to sleep.”

          I reluctantly let go of him and made my way back to the fireplace. I reached in to pull apart the logs so that the embers could die down and make it dark enough to sleep. When I stood up and wiped my hands off I noticed that Ryan had an armful of blankets and had started to lay them out on the floor, but he had stopped and was staring at them inquisitively.

          “Something wrong?” I asked as I approached and tried to take a blanket from him, but he stopped me.

          “You really shouldn’t sleep on the floor tonight with your shoulder,” he sighed and looked a little nervous.

          “Are you offering to let me have the bed for tonight?” I smiled.

          He looked at me and I could see his eyes dilate and a faint blush colored his cheeks as he nodded.That was very sweet of him. Almost out of character, but after having just spent the last hour talking him through a panic attack, I got the feeling that I’d be seeing a lot of my King that no one else had. 

          I climbed into bed without a word and watched him layout the last of the blankets. As soon as my head hit the pillow I could feel sleep trying to pull me under, but I forced myself to stay awake. He may have been kind enough to offer me the small bed, but I was still his guard and we weren’t home. So, I stayed awake until I heard the familiar sound of his snoring, muffled slightly by the blanket he had pulled tightly around him. I fought to stay up longer, to ensure that he was truly asleep and nothing suspicious happened, but his rhythmic breathing and the faint crackle of the fire lulled me to sleep.


	8. Waking Up

          When I woke up it was still early morning, just after sunrise, and my heavy eyelids wanted me to go back to sleep but the cold ache in my bones told me to relight the fire first. It had gotten colder than I had thought it would and I was too cold to go back to sleep.

          I stretched out my limbs and realized that I had one hand hanging off the edge of the small mattress and when I tried to curl my fingers, I found my hand wrapped around something soft and warm. I rolled over and was shocked to find Ryan, laying on his stomach on the floor beside me, one arm tucked under his head for support and the other hand laced into mine. I moved my thumb and it rubbed the top of his hand to confirm that I was, in fact, holding his hand.

          I carefully relaxed and removed my hand which elicited a soft sigh and the sleeping monarch rolled over, turning his back to me. I waited for a few minutes, wanting to make sure that I hadn’t woken him, and slowly climbed over him as soon as his snores returned.

          I gathered some logs and sat down in front of the fireplace. I stared sleepily into the soot covered alcove as I listened to Ryan snore just a few feet away from me. There were a few times where he slept around me prior to this. Usually he would pass out in the study or by the fireplace while reading and, just like last night, I would make sure he was safe and comfortable before leaving to sleep in my own quarters.

          I wondered if he panicked when he woke up and I was gone. Suddenly I felt bad about just leaving him where he had fallen asleep, but after what he had told me last night, I bet he woke up panicked no matter where he was.

          I felt my chest tighten and tears well up in the corners of my eyes. I watched him sleep soundly in his nest of blankets and cloaks and fought the need to cry for him. No wonder he was always tired, or at least looked tired, and some mornings would walk around his room with stiff joints. I thought of how many times I could hear him moving around at night and I thought it was just simple insomnia.

          I clenched my fists as my pity turned to anger. I was angry at myself for not being there for him when he needed me, and whoever it was that ordered the assassin. I noticed the few remaining embers in the fireplace flare up as I imagined what I could have done if I was there.

          They died back down as I realized that there was nothing I could have done. It had all happened in his chambers in the middle of the night when I would have been asleep in my room. Maybe I could have heard them, the Gods only knew how many times I had woken up because Kerry was moving around in his room down the hall, but Kerry isn’t an assassin. He stomps around and makes noise because he’s groggy and doesn’t care. The only reason the King woke up before hand was because it was a sloppy assassin.

          I thought about sleeping in his room with him from now on. I already dozed off in what was now ‘my chair’ beside the fire, maybe he could sleep better if I was there with him. Maybe he could sleep in his own bed again.

          I took a deep shuddering breath and struggled to keep the sob quiet as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was so mad that I couldn’t do anything to help him once we got back to the castle. We would have to go back to pretending, and I couldn’t be there for him whenever he needed.

          The embers in the fireplace flared up once again and this time the new logs I had added took the flame and a warm fire crackled to life. I gasped as I realized that the flickering ache in my chest exploded in time with the fire in front of me. As I calmed myself down, the fire weakened but it had been enough to get it started and even once I was calm again the fire remained lit and grew on its own.

          “What did you think of?” a very deep and groggy voice croaked beside me, making me jump and look over to Ryan.

          His eyes were half open as he watched me with sleepy interest from his cocoon. His hair stood out wildly and a faint sheen on his chin told me that he had slept with his mouth open at one point. I laughed softly as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

          “I thought about how jealous I am over your little makeshift bed,” I lied. “I bet you’re not even cold.”

          “Nope, he smiled and closed his eyes. “Well, my toes _are_ a little chilly.”

          “You poor thing,” I teased. “And honestly, I’m a little surprised you’re talking to me. Shouldn’t you be throwing daggers? Or does in not count because it’s not your bed?”

          “Neither,” he muttered and opened his eyes again. They were very somber, but still sleepy. “You’re my exception. Only you may speak to me while I am in bed.”

          “I’m honored,” I smiled and only half meant the sarcasm I put into my tone. “What have I done to deserve this?”

          “You’ve proven to me that you can be trusted,” he sighed and kept his gaze on me. “And I know you won’t abuse your privilege.”

          “How do I know if or when you decided to revoke it?” I asked as I got up, slightly warmed up by the fire and wanting to go back to sleep.

          “I’m sure the dagger flying by your face will give it away,” he grinned smugly.

          I stood in front of him and looked down at the man, wrapped up in blankets and totally relaxed.

          “I feel like getting the bed turned out to be the bad end of the deal,” I huffed and nudged him with my foot as I stepped over him and into the bed. He chuckled and somehow buried himself deeper into the pile of fabrics.

          “How’s you’re shoulder?” he asked after a moment of quiet.

          “Stiff,” I grunted and moved it around. “I can’t tell if it’s because of the injury or the cold that’s causing it though.”

          “It’s not that cold you baby,” he teased and rolled over so that he was facing me and the bed.

          “He say’s from his warm bundle of blankets,” I snorted as I wrapped my own covers around me. They did offer some relief, but I still felt the chill of the morning in my joints.

          “If you want it, you can have it,” he said in a challenging tone. “You just have to take it from me.”

          I rolled over and peered at him over the edge of the mattress. He was only four or five inches below my level, but it was enough for me to only show him my face from the nose up as I glared at him. He looked back up at me, his eyes swimming with mischief and a playful grin.

          “I’m too tired to fight over something like that,” I huffed and rolled back over.

          “Your loss,” I heard him shrug.

          I laid there for awhile as I listened to the fire intensify and waited for Ryan to fall back to sleep. When his snores didn’t return, I rolled over and peeked at him. He was still breathing and his eyes were closed, but he had a shit eating grin spread wide across his face.

          “Go to sleep,” I ordered and his eyes shot open, the twisted grin mirrored in their glassy blue depths.

          “I don’t take orders from you,” he hummed and continued to watch me.

          “I can’t sleep until you do,” I growled.

          “And I’m not sleeping until I know you won’t push me out of my bed,” he smiled back and closed his eyes again.

          “I swear I won’t take your bed,” I groaned and rolled onto my back. “You’re making it hard to sleep in.”

          “I know,” he giggled and said no more.

          After what felt like a half hour, I was going to roll over and argue with him more when I heard his soft snoring again. I sighed with relief and rolled onto my stomach and let my arm hang off the edge of the bed. If he moved suddenly, the blankets would muffle his movements and I might not wake up. This way I would know if something happened.

          I was careful to not throw my arm over the edge and hit him, so when my hand gently came to rest on something warm and kind of prickly I was a little alarmed. A small whimper came from the man below me, but he stayed asleep as I carefully moved my hand and grazed his ear with one of my fingertips. I froze as my hand cupped his cheek, his stubble tickling my palm as he shifted at my touch but didn’t swat me away.

          I should have moved my hand. It was bad enough that I woke up holding his earlier, but at least I didn’t know about that until it had already happened. I absolutely shouldn’t have rub my thumb along his cheek, but I did, and his skin was so soft on my callused hands. I could feel his warmth begin to radiate through my hand as my heart became light and head became heavy.

          Sleep crept back into my body and I tried to tell my hand to move before it pulled me under, but the only movement it made was to continue slowly caressing his cheek until I was out again.

*~*~*~*

          The sound of birds chirping and movement against my hand pulled me out of my sleep. I tried to pull my hand away before he woke up all the way, but then I felt him smile against my palm and one of his hands wrap around it. My heart raced as he gently took my hand in his and pressed my wrist to his lips. The fire popped loudly and he froze, his lips still close enough that I could feel them spread into a smile.

          “Did I wake you Keryna?” he teased as he squeezed my hand.

          “Maybe,” I said softly.

          I was going to need to work on controlling myself if any nearby fire was going to give me away like that. Ryan sat up and rested his head on the mattress after stretching and yawning. For the first time in the month I had been with him, he almost looked well rested.

          “If I had known that sleeping near you would help you sleep, I would have done so sooner,” I murmured as rolled onto my back and did my own stretches.

          “I would have let you,” he grunted as he stood up.

          The blankets fell away from him to reveal that, at some point last night, he had taken his shirt off. I grit my teeth and tried to control my fluttering heart as he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over me to inspect my shoulder. While I could see the fire brighten slightly as he unwrapped my injury, it didn’t make any noise. I looked over his scars, my hand drifting up to the pink one in the middle of his chest.

          I felt his heart race for a moment before slowing to its normal rhythm as he carefully poked and prodded at my joint.

          “Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice rumbling against my hand as I traced his scars.

          “No. I told you it was just because it was cold,” I sighed and let my hand fall onto my stomach. He put his hand on the mattress just to the right of my waist.

          “I still say you were just being a baby,” he teased as he continued to lean over me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

          “What would Kerry say if he saw us like this?” he snorted after a minute of silence.

          “I doubt he’d recognize you. You definitely don’t look or act like the Mad King right now,” I said as I stretched out my shoulder. It was still a little stiff, but nothing that would get in the way.

          “You wanted me to open up,” he sighed.  “This is me. Open and exposed.”

          “I guess I wasn’t expecting you to be so different,” I shrugged.

          “I do what needs to be done to keep this kingdom running,” he muttered and looked sad as he stared off into space.

          “Including play a character that absolutely drains you emotionally?” I asked as I sat up. I was in his space now, our faces only about a foot apart as I sat cross legged and watched him focus in on my features.

          “No,” he huffed. “The Mad King isn’t a character. He’s just an exaggerated part of my personality. That’s why I’ve been able to keep it up for eleven years. I’m not playing a part, I’m just giving in to my darker side.”

          “So you enjoy killing?” I muttered.

          “To an extent,” he smiled back. “You’ve been in battle before. You know the rush that comes with fighting. I just let go of my inhibitions and let the Mad King run rampant. It’s executions that get me. There’s no fight.”

          A normal person would be appalled at what he just said, but I totally understood where he was coming from. The power that comes with cutting down enemies during a fight was truly intoxicating, and I imagined his blood lust was as strong as it was because he was chasing that high even after a war and many attempted rebellions.

          “You enjoy ordering people around and using their fear to control them?” I continued, but with a teasing tone.

          “You should try it out,” he growled playfully. “It’s a pretty great feeling, having people jump to action with a simple order.”

          I rolled my eyes and swung my legs to get off the bed. I felt him stiffen beside me as my feet touched the floor.

          “What was that soldier?” he barked at me using his deep, ‘King’ tone for the first time since he had threatened me yesterday morning.

          I shot up and reflexively stood at attention. I hadn’t realized how soft and gentle his voice had gotten until he wasn’t using it anymore, and the return of my King’s usual gruffness made my heart race.

          “How _dare_ you disrespect your king like that?” he hissed as he stood up next to me.

          “I’m sorry sir,” I apologized out of instinct and immediately bit my tongue and glared at him as he stepped in front of me with a wicked grin and malicious glimmer in his eyes.

          “See?” he hummed. “You’ve seen a part of me that no one has witnessed in a decade, and you still jump and bend to my will at the drop of a hat.”

          He leaned in so that he could whisper in my ear, one of his hands resting gently on my waist for support. His touch made my heart leap into my throat and I became very aware of how I could feel the fire’s every flicker in my chest.

          “And you’re damned right I enjoy the hell out of it,” he laughed before pressing his lips to the outer rim of my ear. “And judging by the way the fire is jumping around, you do too.”

          I tried to step away from him, to run away and hide the aroused flush that had overtaken my face and chest, but he had backed me against the bed and my movement caused me to fall on to the mattress. As much as I loved the way he was making me feel, the anxiety was making my head spin. I couldn’t escape the thoughts that told me that this was inappropriate, that he was the King and I was his guard. Nothing more.

          He followed me on to the bed, my head swimming with desire while he kept me between his legs and crawled on top of me. He watched me with hooded eyes and I thought I saw his mouth move, but all I could hear was people calling me his whore and my anxiety flared more.

          “Stop!” I ordered, pressing my hand to his chest and trying to be assertive but the waver in my voice gave away the real reason I had started shaking.

          Without hesitation, he rolled off and onto the bed next to me. As soon as he was clear I shot up and out the door, not once looking at him as I ran to the stable to hide.

          I don’t know how long I sat there, curled up in the corner with Deriny’a while she nuzzled and huffed at me with worry. I just closed my eyes and pet what ever part of my mare that I could reach. At one point, I even felt the hair on the top of my head flatten as Edgar leaned over the wall between their stalls and sniff at me in concern. I smiled weakly and reached up to pat his muzzle in appreciation.

          Once the anxiety fell away, it was replaced with shame. I had left him high and dry. There was no way he would have moved onto me like that if he wasn’t willing to go there and I felt horrible for leaving him behind while I freaked out. After a few more moments of quiet, I heard the door to the cabin open and his heavy footsteps approach the stable.

          I could hear his leather armor shuffle around him and his sword clatter gently at his hip as he cautiously stepped in and listened for me. Almost on command, Deriny’a whinnied and nodded her head, giving away my location. I wanted to stand up and greet him appropriately, but I was still numb with embarrassment and only glared at my horse as Ryan walked over.

          “Even my horse will follow your every order,” I huffed and she snorted in response as he leaned over the gate and looked at me. “I’m pathetic, I know.”

          “Not at all what I was going to say,” he said with a kind smile. His gentle tone was back but his full armor reminded me of who he truly was.

          “I’m sorry for bolting,” I murmured but he held up his hand before I could continue.

          “I’m sorry for coming on too strong,” he smiled and rested his head on his hands. “I got a carried away and shouldn’t have climbed on top of you. I told you I would let you work through this on your own pace and almost immediately rushed in. You had every right to stop me, and I’m so sorry I ever put you in the position to have to. I may be blood thirsty and a little drunk on power, but I’m not a monster.”

          I stood up while he was talking and brushed off the straw and dirt I had gathered.

          “I just have some hang ups I need to work thorough,” I sighed before giving him a half smile. “Maybe we can try that again once I get past them.”

          He blushed slightly and gave me a sheepish look as he held out his hand. I carefully took it and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze before speaking.

          “You’re not a whore,” he said softly as he read my mind. “You’re a beautiful young woman and they can’t fathom why you’d willingly lock yourself in the castle with an angry old tyrant, so they try to justify it by ‘degrading’ you to my level.”

          I felt tears fall down my cheeks and I gripped his hand tightly as he spoke. We had discussed it many times before, but hearing it in his soft, caring tone shattered through that barrier.

          “We’ve gotten very close over the past month, even closer in the last twenty-four hours,” he continued with a smile as pulled me to the stall gate and laced his fingers into mine. The leather glove was harsh against my skin, but the comfort the gesture brought me was more than worth it.

          “You are many things to me. My guard and protector, keeping me safe from things that go bump in the night. My confidant who listens to my crazed rants and outbursts calmly before talking me through it. My partner in crime as the two of us stare down the council and watch them squirm until they drop what ever asinine thing they were trying to push on us. You’re the only person in the whole damn kingdom that can appreciate silence and a good book!”

          I laughed and he chuckled in return. Like always, his low rumble of laughter chased away many of the fears and anxieties that plagued my mind. He seemed to sense my release because his eyes locked onto mine and he stared at me for a long time as he nervously thought about what he was going to say.

          “Keryna,” he sighed finally. “I’d call you my Queen _long_ before I _ever_ call you a whore.”

          I immediately tore my eyes from his and tried to run away again. I’m only his guard. Sure, he was right in that I was closer to a friend than a simple guard, but we couldn’t be more than that. I couldn’t get that close to him. I couldn’t be his queen. _Could I?_

          Even if I did manage to disappear in the enclosed horse stall, Ryan’s grip on my hand didn’t release and he held onto me as I turned my back.

          “Don’t take that as a proposal,” he said firmly but still gentle. “I’m not even kind of ready to go down that road, especially with whatever the hell is going on with the council. I’m just saying that any relationship I initiate with you happens because I want to be with you.”

          Suddenly his hand was the only thing I could feel. Everything but the way his hand felt in mine disappeared. Even through the glove I could feel the emotions flowing between us. His hand made all the voices stop calling me a whore. The way he gently rubbed the top of mine with his thumb as he let me think in silence pushed away any remaining concerns of anyone else’s opinions. Let them call me a whore, I wasn’t feeling this way about him just because it gave me a job. Besides, they would think it no matter what. One concern still floated through my head as the world began to reappear around me.

          “I’m still your guard,” I said, the firmness coming back into my voice. “I don’t need you worrying about my safety and wellbeing all the time. I’m here to protect you, not the other way around. I don’t want any feelings to get in the way of the fact that it’s my job to jump in between you and anything that is trying to hurt you.”

          “What you’re saying is you don’t want me to start jumping in front of you,” he clarified and I nodded.

          “I don’t need you to protect me,” I continued. “I signed up to be cannon fodder, and I’m more than willing to give my life for you. I don’t want you doing the same just because you’re afraid of me getting hurt.”

          “I think I can do that,” he muttered and gave my hand one last squeeze before letting go. “Besides, it would be very suspicious if the Mad King started trying to protect anyone but himself.”

          I laughed and gave Deriny’a one last pat on the neck before following Ryan out of the stable.

          “I have a crazy idea,” he smiled gently as he spun around and I let out an audible ‘oomph’ as I bumped into his armored chest. “How about you don’t come with me? I think being apart for a while might be good for us and let us figure out exactly what needs to be done about _us_ and the conspiracy against me. Besides, we _have_ been at each other’s side for the last month.”

          “But what if you get into trouble?” I asked, genuinely concerned about his safety.

          “I can handle setting and checking snares on my own. I’m not aware of any killer rabbits in the area,” he teased.

          “And if you run into anyone?”

          “I’ll kill them and come tell you immediately.”

          “What if there are a lot of-” I was cut off by his hand and a soft giggle.

          “Keryna, I lived most of my life without you and in the dozen times I’ve been out here the scariest thing to ever happen out here was that wolf yesterday. I will be fine,” he assured me, and I let my shoulders sag to show that I was relenting. “Besides, I want to gather my thoughts. Now that you know what’s going on and I know I can trust you, I need to think of what to do next.”

          “What do I do?” I asked, almost to myself.

          “Try to wipe that lost puppy look of your face and relax,” he smiled and I frowned at him. “You’ll survive a few hours without me Little Dove.”

          “Hours?” I exclaimed as he turned back towards the woods.

          “Try not to miss me too much,” he teased and disappeared into the woods, my only indication of where he had gone was his low laugh drifting out of the trees.


	9. Affection Comes in Many Forms

          I was genuinely lost with out him. For almost an hour I wandered around the glade where the cabin was, trying to think of anything to do. First, I let the horses out and watched them as they grazed and ran around with each other, their playful whinnies and snorts making me smile.

          While they meandered around, I started a small fire and sat down with my book of magic. Fortunately for me, the next section was about being able to control the effects of a magic user’s power on nearby flames. I spent the most time working on that, and the only reason I stopped was because my stomach reminded me that I needed to eat.

          When I looked up from my book for the first time in a long while, I noticed that the horses were gone. I started to panic, but then I heard Deriny’a snort from the stable where they had gone to nap. I closed up the stable for them and went to the cabin for food.

          I opened the enchanted chest where Ryan had put all the meat to stay fresh and found a smaller cut to slice thin and boil the strips to go with the cheese I had found the night before. I put on my armor while I waited for the meat because I wanted to practice with my sword. Yesterday’s encounter reminded me that I hadn’t trained with it and thus wasn’t familiar with its power and weight. After eating my fill, while still saving enough for Ryan, I made my way back outside.

          As I twirled and thrust my sword through the air, I entered the almost meditative state that came with training by myself. As I got a feel for how the blade felt in my hand, I let my mind wander. I started to daydream about fighting by Ryan’s side, the two of us gracefully working around each other as we pressed through an imaginary army.

          The idea made my heart flutter, and I found myself wishing that I could live long enough to maybe experience that. That thought made me laugh out loud. I was assuming that I did my job well enough that I would die long before he did. If I were to die of old age it would be long after him, and maybe even the next king, because of my elven blood. I wondered what we would do without each other. Would he lose sleep over me? Would he mourn? How long before he replaced me?

          I felt angry at the thought of someone replacing me, and the idea that he would have to build that trust up with someone else while slowly losing his mind again as his paranoia drove him truly mad. I knew that it was my job to protect the Mad King from any more assassination attempts, but now I made it my job to protect him so that he wouldn’t have to go through this again.

          My attention faltered and the sword slipped from my hand and clattered to the ground. Was that something a guard was supposed to worry about? The mental wellbeing of their charge? Or was that something more trying to break its way through my apprehension?

          I closed my eyes and tried to refocus myself, but my mind wandered to this morning as I picked up my sword and continued testing its weight and feel. My hand tingled as I thought of the way his cheek felt in my palm: Warm, soft, and inviting. I progressed to the memory of how jealous I was of his little nest of blankets, and how much I wanted to crawl into it beside him. To be warm and cozy and to know that nothing was going to get to him without me knowing.

          I dropped the sword again as I began to crave the sensation of his weight as he crawled on top of me. I stared at the ground as my imagination ran wild with what could have happened if I let him be more than just my King. I groaned and scooped up the sword as I realized that I might have to give in and let my heart and body do what it wanted with Ryan in order to figure all of this out. It wasn’t a matter of whether I was his guard _or_ his lover, it was if I could handle being both.

          I turned around to go rest in the cabin when I locked eyes with Ryan, who was leaning against the door, watching me as he ate the food I had left for him. We both froze as we caught each other off guard.

          “How long have you been back?” I asked as I looked around for signs of where he had come from. The only hints of his return were the four or five skinned rabbits that were neatly hung up while he waited to butcher them.

          “Long enough to watch you drop your sword,” He said through the last bites of food. “Twice.”

          “I thought practicing with the sword would help me get used to the feel of it and clear my head,” I explained. “Apparently it hasn’t done either.”

          “Well the problem is you’re not practicing in a way that lets you really use the sword,” he huffed as he pushed off the door and strode over to me. “Without an opponent, you might as well just be dancing.”

          He drew his sword and slowed his approach as he sized me up. I instinctively widened my stance and gripped my sword tight as he came towards me, armed with his blade and a darkening gaze.

          “See?” he smiled and gestured at me with his blade. “You weren’t standing like that before.”

          He started to circle, and I matched his pace to keep him in front of me.

          “Now Keryna, it’s been a little over a month since your last fight with an armed opponent,” he continued, his eyes flickering as he watched my every movement.

          I was mid step when he lunged forward, sword swinging across as he slashed at my belly. I jumped back and used my blade to redirect his slash downwards so that the tip of his blade passed within a few inches of my knees. With my iron sword the deflection would have made my wrist hurt, but the diamond blade my King had given me dampened the blow enough that I hardly felt the hit.

          “Let’s see if you still remember how to fight,” he grinned and attacked again before his last strike had finished ringing through the air.

          At first, most of my movements were deflecting his attacks as I got used to how my sword reacted to the blows. Eventually, I grew bold enough to attack him myself. He swung at my chest, but I ducked beneath it and thrust my sword forward. He easily knocked my sword away with his bracer, but I could tell by the glimmer in his eyes that he was impressed with my confidence.

          “Now you’re getting it,” he praised and I my heart skipped a beat, but before I could respond he moved to attack again.

          I shifted to block the attack, and he instead hooked a foot behind my leg and pulled it out from under me. I stared up at him as he held his blade to me, and my body suddenly burned with twisted desire as his eyes raked over my body.

          “You’ll have to do better than that to beat me,” he growled as he stepped aside and let me get up.

          As soon as I was on my feet and had my sword in hand, I rushed him and threw my good shoulder into his chest. While I did catch him off guard and he stumbled backwards, it wasn’t enough and he grabbed me. Before I could regain enough balance to duck away from him, he dropped his sword as one hand tangled in my hair for control and his dagger pressed to my throat.

          “I wasn’t planning on actually handling you like this Keryna,” he hissed as his eyes were raging with malicious excitement. “But if you wanna play that way, I will too.”

          I laughed nervously as a wide grin spread across my cheeks, which only encouraged him as he used his grip on me to throw me back while he retrieved his sword. My scalp tingled at the release of my hair, and the tingle only made my heart race faster.

          We continued for a long time, seeming to never run low on energy as we started to actually land hits on each other. I barely felt a thing as he threw me around and hit me repeatedly with the flat of his sword, and his stride and power remained unhindered as I did the same. Both of us ran on adrenaline and the pleasurable thrill of the fight as we each grew more and more physical as we tried to knock the other down.

          I eventually started to feel tired, and Ryan must have seen that because he clashed his sword against mine in just the right way and knocked it from my hand. I saw the victorious fire ignite behind his eyes as my sword skittered far out of reach and I knew I couldn’t let him win like this. The Mad King was known for his skills with pretty much any weapon you handed him, but I had never seen him fight hand-to-hand.

          He let his victory get to him too soon, so I reached out while he prepared to gloat and grabbed his wrist. I twisted it sharply and his own sword fell from his hand as his eyes widened in disbelief. His leather armor was solid, but not enough that he didn’t feel the punch I threw into his gut. He grunted as I pulled away and when he tried to step back I crouched down and wrapped my hands around his ankle and yanked his leg out from under him. He hit the ground hard and I heard him gasp for air as the wind was knocked out of him. I drew my dagger and threw myself on top of him so that I could pin him with my weight as I held my blade to his throat.

          He stared at me with wide eyes, my face only inches from his as I let the entirety of my upper body be supported by the hand I had firmly planted on his sternum. I felt him twitch between my legs as I straddled his hips, and I started to grin. I had beaten him.

          “Not so fast Little Dove,” Ryan chuckled as he moved his arm slightly and I let out a short gasp of surprise. I felt a sharp pinch in my side as he gently pressed the tip of his dagger between the gaps in my leather chest piece and into my thin tunic.

          “I’d say we’re evenly matched,” he smirked as he let his dagger fall from my waist and replaced it with his hand.

          I removed my dagger and saw his Adam’s apple bob as he shifted slightly now that he was free from my blade. His other hand slowly rose to my waist and he watched me, waiting for a sign that I didn’t want him to hold me. Now that the dust was settling, my body was starting to ache from some of the blows I had taken, and I was tired from the fight, so I sighed and let my head fall onto his shoulder. He read my sign and used his grip on me to shift my weight around so that I laid comfortably across his chest. I could have fallen asleep there, especially when he started to play with my hair as we caught our breath, but eventually the position started to make my injured shoulder ache.

          When I sat up he inhaled sharply like I had startled him, and his eyes fluttered open as he let his hand fall away from the lock of hair he was twirling. My back and shoulders creaked as I stretched and sat back on my heels, totally forgetting that he was still between my legs. So, the shocked look I got from him as I lowered myself onto his lap made me smile as I looked at him prone and breathing heavily again. I tore my eyes away from the twitching monarch under me and looked to the sky.

          The sun hadn’t quite started to set yet, but it had dipped below the tree tops and the ground shimmered as the wind blew, making the leaves rustle and their shadows dance across the grass. A gentle squeeze on my waist brought me back to Ryan, who had collected himself and was just watching me from under hooded eyelids.

          “As much as I’d love to stay here, I really do need to get up and take care of the rabbits I caught,” he muttered.

          “And I think I’d like to sit in that hot spring for a bit,” I smiled as I rocked back onto my heels and stood before offering him my hand.

          He grabbed my forearm and I helped him to his feet. I let go of him and turned, but his hand held fast and when I looked back he was lost in thought. I raised an eyebrow and he blushed lightly before speaking.

          “You look beautiful in this lighting,” he smiled sweetly, and I saw his eyes flick to my lips momentarily before letting go of me and heading towards the cabin.

          We stripped off our armor and I inspected the bruises our sparring had gotten me. There were a few that were going to get ugly, the one on the outside of my thigh already a deep purple, but for the most part they should all be gone by the time we returned to the castle. I sighed heavily as I grabbed a fresh tunic and trousers for after my bath.

          “Yes?” Ryan asked as he ran a hand through his hair and stretched.

          “We have to go back to the castle in a few days,” I muttered. He let out a loud bout of laughter as he tugged on his tunic to pull it away from his chest after it had been stuck to him by the armor.

          “Yes,” he smiled. “We can’t hide out here forever. I am still the King after all, and I can’t abandon my people like that.”

          He continued on as if he hadn’t said anything important or new, but I let the words roll around in my head. He really did care about the well being of the realm. I had seen him argue with the council over taxes and trade agreements many times, and always in favor of the people. He told the council that ‘happy citizens don’t rebel’ and that’s why he always fought for them, but now that I was allowed to see inside of the King’s head I knew he was just using his power-hungry persona to make sure the kingdom survived.

          “What are we going to do?” I asked, and he gave me a curious look as he retrieved his dagger. “About us I mean.”

          He sighed and stared off into space as he thought.

          “I guess we’ll just have to figure out a way,” he shrugged. “We can always lock the study door if we _need_ anything bad enough.”

          “What about listening ears?” I continued and he stepped towards me.

          “Shouldn’t be a problem,” he smiled wickedly. “Unless you’re a _‘vocal lover’_ I’m sure we can keep the noise down.”

          I blushed and looked down as his low chuckle made my skin crawl with pleasure.

          “Keryna,” he cooed. “We’ll keep doing what we’ve been doing for the last month. We put on a good show for the people, and then relax in my quarters. We already spend a good amount of time just sitting by the fire chatting or reading, so it shouldn’t be too hard to replace some of that time with something a little more intimate.”

          “If Kerry or Meg walk in, well,” he shrugged as he continued. “I’m pretty sure we can count on Meg keeping quiet even if she is just a servant. She enjoys her job too much to talk about something like that, and she seems to have bonded to you. Kerry on the other hand, we’ll have to be careful around. I still don’t think we can trust him, and if he were to catch on… I’m afraid of the possibilities.”

          “Am I to take your concerns about this as a sign that you’ve worked through your hang ups?” he asked as he reached out to gently hold my hip.

          My heart jumped, and the dim fire sparked to life momentarily before I could stop it like I had practiced earlier. I licked my lips nervously and nodded as I stepped into him. His eyes fluttered as my arms wrapped around his neck.

          “Good,” he breathed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him. “I’ve been wanting to do this all day.”

          Time stood still as his lips pressed to mine, and we melted into each other as the act released the last of the tension between us. He pulled away, but I used my arms to pull him back for more and I could feel the corners of his mouth tug into a small smile as he sighed into my lips.


	10. Riding Out the Storm

          Two days later we were curled up on the floor of the cabin, reading our respective books as the rain outside dampened the last day of the hunting trip in more ways than one. The previous day was successful as far as hunting went, we had managed to get a large stag after hours of following the creature, but I could tell that the prospect of returning to the castle tomorrow was weighing on him.

          Which was why he had his head in my lap as I flipped through my book of magic and ran my hand through his hair. Maybe the constant studying had burned me out but my progress was stalling, and I was starting to get frustrated. It must have shown on my face because he glanced up at me and smirked.

          “Most people need to train for years to properly use magic,” he mused as he set his book down. “I don’t expect you to learn everything in that book in only a few weeks.”

          “I was doing so good though,” I huffed and stared at the pages that were no longer making sense to me.

          “Take a break,” he murmured as he sat up and stretched. “Your mind just needs to rest.”

          “I just feel like the day is wasted if I don’t do anything,” I complained as I closed the book and rubbed my eyes.

          “Because all council meetings _aren’t_ a waste of time,” he smiled and rolled his eyes. “What’s the actual problem?”

          “I still can’t conjure fire unless there’s already a flame in the room,” I said simply and held out my palm as I channeled a small flame, which made the fireplace dim slightly for a brief second.

          “So?” Ryan shrugged as he shifted to face me and rest his head on my shoulder. “You couldn’t even do that a few days ago. You needed to physically stick your hands in the fire. Besides, when won’t there be a lit torch or fireplace?”

          “The one time I need to use my magic,” I sighed sadly, even as his arms wrapped around my waist. My hair rustled as he too sighed into my neck.

          “You’ll get it eventually Keryna,” he whispered confidently and gave me a tight squeeze. “You just need to relax for now. We can work on it more later.”

          I looked out the window at the dark grey sky and thunder rumbled in the distance over the crackling fire and pattering rain. It was too cloudy to really tell the time but if I had to guess, it was probably a little after midday.

          “Come here,” he cooed as he guided me backwards.

          We had shifted the blanket nest so that we could lay on it in front of the fire, so my head hit the comfortable pile of fabric as he leaned on his elbow beside me and began gently running his hand across my belly.

          “Let me distract you for a bit,” he smiled and pressed his lips to my jaw. “Maybe I can get you to relax a little.”

          I giggled as his hand found its place on my waist and he continued to pepper my cheek and jaw with kisses.

          The last few days had been more or less the same as when we were alone in his chambers at the castle. Lots of reading, joking, and comfortable silences with the addition of tender kisses and wandering hands. Once the initial fervor of emotions that came with starting our new relationship had settled down, we slotted back together like nothing major had happened. Just two people who were very comfortable with each other.

          And could hardly keep their hands off each other.

          Kerry’s jeer of playing house was painfully accurate as we wandered around the woods together, hand in hand when we could, and anytime we were in the cabin he wasn’t too far from me. He had taken to hovering over me while I cooked and liked to wrap his arms around me while I cut meat and vegetables. I on the other hand enjoyed laying in his lap while he read because he would absentmindedly play with my hair or draw shapes on my skin with his fingertips. I was going to miss this once we got back to the castle, so I decided to relish the way he greedily began nipping at my ear while I could.

          His nipping turned into sucking on my earlobe, and my wandering mind prevented me from stopping the moan before it fell from my lips. As I clamped my mouth shut and held my breath, I let myself sink farther into the blankets in an attempt to hide from what just happened.

          “So,” he crooned and leaned in so close that he was almost on top of me. “It’s true. Elf ears _are_ extremely sensitive, and not just in regards to hearing.”

          I just looked up at him as the heat continued to spread across my cheeks. Our first night had gotten steamy. No sex, just a lot of kiss muffled moans and exploring hands, but I had been keeping my own moans down so that I could hear his own quite sounds of pleasure. This was different, he had caught me off guard and went straight for my sensitive ears and so it came out unimpeded. I wasn’t loud per say, I just was used to keeping myself quiet.

          “Is this clearing your head?” he hissed between kisses. “Or am I making it worse?”

          “I wouldn’t call this worse,” I said. I choked back a moan as he wrapped his lips around the tip of my ear and flicked his tongue across it. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he slowly pulled away, the soft pop of his lips releasing my ear making me whimper.

          “I’m glad you like this,” he murmured. “Because I’m _loving_ how this makes you squirm.”

          His hot breath and the feeling of him moving for a more comfortable, long term position made me whimper more.

          “Now sing for me again Little Dove,” he whispered, his voice amplified by the way he was cradling my head in his arms. “And don’t hold back.”

          He immediately returned to sucking on my earlobe, searching for what he wanted. I bit my lip as I instinctively attempted to suppress my vocalization and my leg twitched as my body searched for an outlet. He growled in frustration and bit down lightly, which caused the response he was looking for.

          My moan rang through the small cabin and I shivered as the release tore through my body. I stopped trying to hold my pleasure back and clutched his tunic as I let him coax out more moans with his mouth. No one had done more than occasionally nip or kiss my ears before, so I was surprised when a familiar pressure started to build between my legs so quickly.

          “Ryan,” I moaned in an attempt to warn him, but the sound of his name only encouraged him.

          He let out a moan of his own as his name passed my lips and he took a fist full of my hair and pulled it as he thrust his hips into mine. I gasped as my scalp tingled with pleasure and only added to the pressure.

          “Ryan,” I whined again, and he only gripped me tighter as his breathing became ragged in my ear.

          My hands slid up his tunic and I realized just how much I needed to touch him. His skin was hot with arousal and I felt him shiver as my cooler hands stopped to feel every scar on their way to his shoulders. Again, he groaned and his assault on my ear stopped for a moment so he could pull his shirt over his head.

          As he stood on his knees over me, chest heaving and tunic hanging limp in his hand, he stared down at me with an insatiable hunger in his eyes. A nervous smile spread across my face as the Mad King looked at me like I was his to conquer, the fire behind him only making the lustful shadow in his eyes more dramatic as the storm outside intensified.

          “Off,” he ordered as he tugged on my shirt.

          I scrambled to do as he said and was given a low chuckle as I lifted the fabric away from my body. As soon as I threw it to the side, his mouth found mine and he gently spread my legs so that he could be between them.

          “Don’t worry Keryna. I’m not going that far,” he consoled as he heard the worried whimper I let out when he settled down on top of me, the words sounding odd in his harsh tone.

          “I just want to feel all of you when you come undone,” he whispered before going to work on my other ear.

          Swears fell from my lips as the untouched ear was immediately bitten and his chest brushed against my mostly naked torso. His hands slid behind me to unlace my chest bindings and another whimper escaped me as he pulled the last bit of cloth out from between us. I threw my arms around his shoulders and dug my nails into his back, which earned me a short laugh mixed with a moan. With him between my legs, I became aware of how much I was writhing under him as our bare chests rubbed against each other and my thighs pulled my hips into his as they flexed.

          The pressure that had consumed my lower half was starting to hurt as he continued to kiss my ear. I could feel that I was hitting a wall and if I wanted release, I was going to need to find another way to get it.

          “Ryan,” I moaned as he sucked on the tip again. “I need more.”

          I hated the way I sounded, begging and needy, but words were failing me as I was so painfully close.

          “What do you want?” he hissed playfully. “Tell me what more you want Keryna.”

          I squirmed some more as I tried to clear my mind enough to think of what to do, but the way his hand held my hip to guide me into him as he started to rock into my mindless thrusts made the white specks in my vision grow.

          A voice broke through my pained haze telling me that this was wrong. The only reason we were together like this was because people had told us we were, and by letting him touch me like this I was only playing into their hands. We wouldn’t have fallen for each other if we weren’t forced together. He was my _King_ and it should stay that way, but as his own arousal started to rub against my body and his moans were becoming less measured, another thought crossed my mind.

          No one knew him like I did, even if most of it had been revealed to me only recently. At the castle, he was their monarch: brutal, relentless, and a monster to be wary of. In his chambers, he was my King: quiet, intelligent, and craving someone he could trust. Only I could have this Mad King.

                  The true Mad King.

_My Mad King._

          I carded my fingers through his hair and pulled him away from my ear, my body going limp momentarily before using my grip to smash my lips into his. I greedily bit his already swollen lips and grinned at the unfiltered moan that my sudden aggressiveness pulled out of his throat. One of his hands came up to cup my cheek as he kissed me before letting it shift to rub my ear between his thumb and index finger. I moaned as this provided a new sensation and I was pushed even closer.

          I let go if his hair and clawed as his shoulders as I desperately threw my hips into his, searching for what I wanted. His free hand slid to my lower back and used his grip to continue guiding me into his slow thrusts. It was just enough of a change of position to finally give me what my body was screaming for.

          “Fuck!” I moaned, my eyes rolling as our hips finally lined up just right and his erection slid past my clit as he moved. Normally the rough fabric of my trousers would have been too much for the sensitive bundle, but I was so wet and so desperate for release that only the friction mattered.

          “Gods yes! Just like that,” I whimpered as he repeated the motion but slightly faster and leaning more into me.

          The moment I tipped over the edge, all but screaming his name as the release rocked my body, Ryan clutched me to him. Every part of my body was touching his as he slowed his thrusts as to not overstimulate me. His kisses became almost all tongue and let go of my ear to hold my head as he rode out my orgasm. Eventually his thrusts stopped along with my tremors and I looked up at him as he pulled himself away from me just enough to let the cool air raise goosebumps across our midsections.

          “That clear your head?” he panted and kissed me softly.

          “No,” I giggled. “Now it’s all foggy and tired.”

          “A nap might be in order,” he smiled and started to unwrap himself from me.

          “What about you?” I asked as I locked my legs so that he couldn’t get away.

          “Don’t worry about me,” he murmured.

          “It’s my job to worry about you,” I teased as I let my hand slide down his side and to the front of his trousers.

          He hissed as my hand brushed against his throbbing cock through the fabric, and I waited for his final decision. He looked down at me and nodded after a moment of thought. He rested his head on my shoulder as I palmed the bulge in his pants and a shaky moan emanated from him as I drew my hand over the tip. I could tell by the way he was shaking he wasn’t going to take long, and sure enough it only took a few minutes before my name was falling from his mouth along with some curses.

          As he trembled and moaned with pleasure into my shoulder, I sighed and sank into the blankets behind me. It had been a little over a year since I had been with someone, and having Ryan whimpering between hungry kisses as his body stopped shaking was a breath of fresh air for the part of me that missed this level of intimacy.

          “Now I have to change,” he spat quietly as he gently bit my neck.

          “You do that,” I huffed as I relaxed my legs and let him go. “I’ll be right here.”

          He got up on wobbly legs and made for his pack of clothes. I watched him walk away and winced at the deep red scratches I had left across his broad shoulders.

          “You may want a small healing potion too,” I said. “For your back.”

          I heard him chuckle as his hand reached over to inspect the damage, but my eyelids refused to reopen once I blinked. Soon he was back, cradling me in his arms as we both fell asleep to the sounds of the storm outside.


	11. The Ride Home

          The ride back to the capitol was uneventful. We started out joking and generally continuing how the last few days had gone, but as we neared the halfway point at the clearing, both of us started to grow quiet. I followed to his side and just a few paces back, but I could still clearly see how much he didn’t want to go back.

          The tension had grown almost painful when we reached the clearing to rest before the last leg of the trip. We couldn’t lay in the grass like the journey in, the rain had turned the ground into a thick mud that caked our boots, but he managed to find a dry spot and sat on top of a rock while I checked the horses and grabbed the last of my rations.

          When I turned to look at him, he was staring down at the ground about ten feet in front of him, totally lost in thought as he slowly chewed on a hunk of meat. Ryan hardly even acknowledged my presence as I carefully perched myself beside him and began eating. He only slightly leaned against me as I pressed my shoulder to his in an attempt to get his attention. I let him continue to eat in silence as I watched Edgar and Deriny’a mill around looking for grass to graze.

          He still hadn’t shown any signs of life other than slowly eating once piece of meat and shallow breathing, and once I was done with my own food I knew I needed to pull him out of his trance.

          “Ryan?” I said softly.

          He didn’t move so I nudged him with my shoulder, but he only rocked slightly before returning to lean on me. I had seen him get like this before military planning sessions, so I knew he was thinking about what to do when we get back to the castle. I just needed to pull him out so that he could share his thoughts with me, so I cleared my throat.

          “My King,” I said firmly.

          He blinked twice and sucked in a deep breath of air as I addressed him formally for the first time in four days. He sat up straight and furrowed his brow as he tried to get a grasp on how long he had been lost in thought.

          “You’ve been silent for about an hour,” I told him as he swallowed the last of his meal.

          “I know,” he said, his royal tone seeping back in and wiping away the softness I had grown used to. “I just get the feeling we’re not going to have a lot of time to think once we get back. They’re do everything they can to keep us busy.”

          “I’m sure they will,” I nodded. “But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you’re planning.”

          “I’m sorry,” he smiled and finally looked at me. “I guess I’m still getting used to letting you in.”

          “What are you thinking, My King?” I asked and used his title again, trying to get back in the habit.

          “I have several files I want you to read when we return to my study,” he explained and looked to the partially cloudy sky. “It’ll be around dinner when we arrive, and if I know Kerry, he’ll have a banquet ready for us so that we can share the meat we caught with the nobles and some generals. So, you can look over what I’ve found after that if we’re up to it after dinner. If not, I’m sure you’ll look forward to the entertainment after a day spent with the council.”

          “What’s in the files?” I asked as my eyes rolled at the idea of council meetings.

          “All the things I’ve collected that could possibly make sense of the conspiracy against me,” he said and smirked at my frustration. “I’ve stared at it so long, I can’t tell what’s legit and what is just my paranoia.”

          “So you want me to sift through it and find actual leads?” I mused and looked over to the creek where our horses were drinking. “Then what?”

          “Then we go from there,” Ryan shrugged. “We look where the clues point us and take out who needs to be. With luck, we can take care of this within a few months.”

          “And then?” I smiled. “Am I out of a job? Or do I become an intimidation tactic?”

          “If there’s one attempt to overthrow, there will surely be more to come,” he sighed as he got up and stretched. “You’ll be stuck dealing with me until the day one of us dies.”

          “What will you do then?” I asked without thinking and he stopped to stare at me.

          His arms came down as my words shocked us both. I had thought about the possibility that I died protecting him, and while I had come to terms with it, the idea of leaving him alone in the middle of a fight for his life and kingdom made my skin crawl. It was what I used to focus my magic and even though I couldn’t conjure fire without one being nearby, I could feel my fingertips tingle and heat up inside my gloves.

          “I assume Gereth will finally get his wish,” Ryan said as his eyes locked with mine. “So, do me a favor and don’t die.”

          “I don’t plan on it, but the odds are not in my favor,” I said seriously. I took a deep breath and stepped off the rock as well. I had barely entertained the thought of this conversation, but if it was going to have to happen now, I might as well get it over with.

          “And I don’t want to leave you up in the air surrounded by vultures,” I continued as the heat in my gloves got hot enough that my palms were sweating. “So, we need to come up with something to fall back on. If I’m going to die, I don’t want to go worrying about you.”

          “Your concern is touching Keryna,” he said quietly. “But you’re thinking too far ahead. We need to focus on more immediate concerns. Once we get back to-”

          “My King,” I said in a sharp tone to let him know I wasn’t going to drop this that easily. “While I recognize that there are a lot of outside factors, I refuse to give my life for you only to have you die because I was your _only_ defense. Now, what would you do if I fulfill my duties?”

          His gaze never faltered as I spoke, and for a moment I thought I had gone too far and had broken the trust I just spent four days building. His response was immediate and certain.

          “I’ll mourn your death and remind everyone involved why I’m the Mad King,” he stepped forward and the look in his eyes reminded me of when he called my battalion in to help him settle a land dispute.

          “You’re _my_ guard,” he said through gritted teeth, and for a moment I saw something other than anger in his eyes. “And _no one_ gets away with taking something from the Mad King.”

          “I’m not sure I appreciate you claiming me as an object,” I said plainly and the flash of emotion I had seen before reappeared.

          I didn’t see him move. He was standing in front of me, and in the blink of an eye his face filled my vision. His kiss was rough, and it literally took my breath away as I gasped and was pushed backwards. One hand carded through my hair and he gripped it near painfully as his other hand dug into my back.

          “You’re mine Keryna. My lover, my guard, and at this point the only true friend I have.”

          His voice was as rough and harsh as his swift movement continued to amaze me, and the only reason I didn’t tumble backward was because of his hand on my back. Where was this speed when we were sparring? Had he been pulling punches?

          “If I lose you, I have to start all over again,” he continued. “And I don’t think I could pull that off. If you die, everyone involved dies too.”

          “Ryan,” I said quietly to snap him out of it, and the dark shadow that had consumed him flickered out like a smothered fire.

          “You’re not an object,” he muttered. “But anyone who takes you from me won’t live long enough to fully realize what they’ve done.”

          “I’ve never seen you react this way,” I murmured. “And I was there when we lost the Outpost.”

          He gave me a tight squeeze and his low chuckle reverberated through my chest.

          “That _was_ quite the shit show,” he said humorously. “It always slips my mind how many times we’ve actually fought together. No wonder you hold up so well against me. You’re familiar with my style.”

          “Except whatever that was,” I said seriously.

          “ _That_ was what keeps me on the throne,” he explained. “That is what drove my bloodlust during the rebellions. The desperate need to retain control and protect what I care about. In the early years of my reign, it was the all that stood between what this kingdom is now and civil war. I killed _everything_ that resembled a threat. Obviously, I’ve toned it down but mostly because I haven’t felt that strongly about anything since this ‘peace’ settled in.”

          “There hasn’t been a rebellion and nothing severely threatening to the kingdom. Bandits and the odd barbarian raid are hardly a threat to the overall safety of the kingdom,” he smiled and shook his head. “But you, Keryna, are the only thing that stands between my continued reign and another war for power. Anyone who could get through you is a huge threat and will _need_ to die if I want to keep everything under control.”

          “And without you, I’ll just spiral back into a paranoid frenzy,” he paused and looked at me sweetly. “I’d lose my only friend and the only person I feel comfortable enough with to let my guard down.”

          “Ryan,” I muttered in warning. “What did I tell you about getting in the way of _my_ job?”

          “I’m not going to take a dagger for you,” he assured me. “I’ll take whoever was behind the dagger. And whoever they work for. And everyone they work with.”

          “That’s pretty deep Ryan,” I smirked.

          “Like I said,” he whispered. “You’re the second most important thing to me right now. Right after the Kingdom.”

          “What about yourself?” I teased.

          “Okay,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe you’re a solid third then.”

          He pressed a kiss to my lips and the tension fell away like a thick curtain and all I felt was the cool breeze and the warmth radiating from my heart and hands.

          “Why are you so good at pushing my buttons?” he mused quietly as he stared into my eyes.

          “Because most of your buttons directly pertain to me,” I shrugged and kissed his nose, the way it crinkled when I did so made me forget that he was King of the realm and for a moment he was just my lover.

          “They do, don’t they?” he hummed and rest his forehead on mine.

          Our playful air returned for the last leg of our trip and even though we both were dreading the return to reality, now that we were both on the same page and had a plan, I could tell that he was ready for the challenge.

          “So, should I wear the wolf pelt when we pass through the city?” I asked as I waved the paws around.

          “As funny as I think that would be,” he smiled as he watched me pull it off my shoulders where it had been sitting for the last twenty minutes while I played with the idea of making it a cloak. “I’m sure there are still some Michael supporters that wouldn’t appreciated you so blatantly ripping off his look.”

          “Fair enough,” I huffed as I laid it our across my lap. “But what should I do with it? It’s not long enough to be a cloak, not big enough for a blanket, and I’d hate to use it as a rug.”

          “You could use it to make a cloak like mine,” he offered up. “Have the shoulders lined with fur, mount the head somewhere in your room and use the tail as decoration on your dress armor.”

          “I like the sound of that actually,” I hummed as I was already imagining how a black cloak would look with the white fur. “It’s not getting too close to your grandeur though, is it? I don’t want Kerry or the council jumping down my throat for attempting to look close to your rank and authority.”

          “You killed the wolf protecting you King,” he huffed and winked. “You deserve to show your victory off. Besides, as far as I’m concerned, you’re the closest to my rank you can be without becoming Queen. Even my generals are second to you.”

          “But only because you don’t know which ones you can trust,” I pointed out. “If there wasn’t an active threat to your life, I’d be somewhere between a glorified servant and an above average soldier.”

          His eyes squeezed shut and the air rang with his laughter. I watched him roll with laughter and committed the sight to memory. I didn’t know when I’d get to see it again.

          “I guess you’re right,” he giggled.

          “And it’s not like I could walk into a military planning session and give commands,” I continued. “I can think of a few generals and colonels that would rather die than take orders from me.”

          “So I’ve heard,” he grinned and twisted around to better look at me. “What did you do to Colonel Harrison by the way? She looks at you like you killed her family.”

          “I did nothing,” I spat then shrugged. “She’s convinced I tried to steal her husband after he got drunk and hit on me at the Spring Harvest festival a few years ago. I turned him down before he could do anything more damaging that tell me I’m attractive, but she saw and refuses to believe that I want nothing to do with him.”

          “Well he is a womanizer, so I’m not surprised that she’s on edge,” he shrugged. “You probably get the brunt of it because you’re the only one she sees regularly.”

          “But I’m not seeing him!” I hissed.

          “But he tried, and that’s all that matters.”

          I groaned loudly and rolled my head as he laughed quietly. I was caught off guard when he suddenly came to a halt and caught up to him before I stopped Deriny’a. I followed his gaze and in the distance I could see the forest entrance. If I really listened, I bet I could faintly hear Achievement City.

          “Something wrong my King?” I asked and scanned the trees for anything amiss.

          “No,” he shook his head. “Just not ready to tack ‘secret’ onto our relationship.”

          “To be fair: It kind of already was,” I hummed. “The body guard who’s secretly helping her King weasel out people with malevolent intentions.”

          “You know what I mean,” he scolded and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.

          “I guess that really does make me your dog,” I mused and ignored his comment. “I’m a hunting dog and well as a guard dog.”

          “You certainly _can_ be quite the bitch,” he smirked and I winked at him. “Makes the wolf pelt extra ironic too.”

          It was my turn to burst into laughter and my eyes stung with tears as I could already hear the insults but I didn’t care. Ryan’s low chuckle and the familiar sensation of his gaze on my face reminded me that, at the end of the day, no one’s opinion really mattered except his.

          He reached out and took my hand in his and waited for my giggles to die down, lacing his fingers into mine as best as our leather gloves would let him. Once I could, I met his gaze and my wide, boisterous grin melted into a sweet smile as I recognized the look he was giving me. He was trying to memorize the moment, just like I had.

          “I hope you’re ready for the Mad King,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “Because I can’t come off as gentle and caring once we leave this forest.”

          “Please,” I rolled my eyes. “The Mad King never bothered me. You know that.”

          He smiled before leaning in and I followed his lead and met in the middle for a long, passionate kiss.

          “You’ll have to stop talking to me like that,” he growled, his Kingly tone finally setting into where it had been the last time we were in this spot. “You’ll have to be a good guard dog and follow my orders without talking back too much. I can’t have a subordinate speaking to me in such an informal manner.”

          “I would never dream of disrespecting my King like that,” I said seriously with the expression to match, but the glimmer in his eyes told me that he saw my sarcasm.

          “I will punish you if I have to,” he said shortly before sitting back in Edgar’s saddle and spurring him forward. “If you step out of line, I will react accordingly.”

          I bit my tongue and followed just behind him and at a more respectful distance than I had been keeping during our trip. I desperately wanted to tease him more, to ask him if he’d punish me _personally_ , but if I didn’t get into the habit now I would more than likely slip up when someone else was around. So, once we passed the tree line and reentered the wheat fields that surrounded the capitol, I took a few deep breaths and centered myself. I closed my eyes and did my best to meditate before we returned to the hustle of the city.

          I opened my eyes and my breath caught as I focused on Ryan. The sun was low on the horizon, more than half hidden by the earth as it sank in the sky and gave way to the night. The magenta and orange hues that it cast across the fields were enough to take your breath away, but the way it glittered off the gold and silver accents of his armor made my heart ache for him. I wanted to keep this Ryan forever: Sitting upright in the saddle, the sunlight striking his crown in just the right way to make it look like it was on fire and nestled in his golden hair.

          He slightly turned his head to look at me, having heard my breath hitch, and gave me a malicious smirk as he caught me staring. His eyes glowed in the setting sun, lit up like blue gems under a jeweler’s light and were given a purple hue around the edges as the night stretched its long black tendrils across the sky above.

          His gaze locked onto me for a moment before turning back to the city, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me.

          “Purple’s a good look on you,” he said so quietly that even I almost couldn’t hear him.

          I turned around and looked to the sky and the deep purple cover of nightfall. The few stars that had twinkled to life made it look like a giant Nether portal. I huffed softly and smiled as I remembered.

          “That’s what the gypsies said,” I told him. “Also something about a piece of the moon personally coming down to bless the troupe.”

          “They may be a wild and ‘uncivilized’ bunch,” he sighed. “But they do have a way with words.”


	12. Back Home

          We had barely gotten off our horses before the King and I were thrust back into castle life. He took it in stride but as I was greeted by the wealthy nobles and generals who joined us at dinner, I became painfully aware of how I looked. The King looked no different that normal, just in less grand clothes and a little muddy, and I’m sure most of them were used to seeing him like this.

          I, on the other hand, had always been presented to them put together. My usually loose, ornamented and clean hair was contained by a ribbon that tied it all together behind my head and when I ran my hand through my hair to try to tame it, I physically cringed at how greasy it was. My armor was filthy with blood and mud, which wouldn’t bother me so much if everyone didn’t look at me like I was an animal that had accidentally wandered into the castle. So, as soon as it looked like our welcome back dinner was winding down, I had Meg prepare a hot bath so that I could be truly clean again.

          I sank into the water and let the hot, perfumed water consume my body. I let my head dip backwards to soak my hair before I tried to detangle it and began to clean my body with a washcloth Meg had left for me. Ryan had also ordered a bath, so she was across the hall getting it ready for him while Kerry grilled him on the hunting trip.

          The teasing started the moment Kerry laid eyes on us. The two of us simply rolled our eyes as he started rambling off the jokes and insults he had thought of while we were gone.

_“What’s she look like under all that armor and sarcasm?”_

_“Did you make her sleep in the stable with the horses like a real dog?”_

_“Am I going to have to set up a detail to make sure she doesn’t go sneaking into your room while we sleep?”_

          The last one almost made me snort my wine and luckily a boisterous uproar of laughter from the drunken generals hid my coughs. There would be nights where I snuck over to his room, without a doubt, but not just so I could be alone with him and try to satiate the desire that was burning in my belly. The middle of the night was probably the best time for us to discuss our plans for wiping out the conspiracy against him.

          I was beginning to work the knots out of my hair when Meg returned with a hair brush and a sly grin.

          “What’s that look for?” I asked cautiously as she pulled a stool over so that she could comb out my hair while I relaxed in the water.

          “Kerry is currently trying to rile up the King by describing in great detail what he thinks happened while you were gone,” Meg giggle.

          “And what does he think happened?” I hummed with a small smile.

          “When I left he was going on about ‘running hands along her body and conquering her like he did everything else. Brutally and without mercy,’” Meg mocked the adviser.

          “He reads too many books,” I snorted as I closed my eyes and remembered how Ryan looked kneeling over me yesterday.

          “That’s what the King said,” Meg giggled. “Besides, if that _did_ happen, I’d see it all over your shoulders.”

          I laughed quietly and sighed as I ignored the way my chest ached. The sudden jump back into reality had been more jarring for me that I had thought it would be, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up by the fire. Meg gently detangled my hair, rubbed some soap into her hands and began washing the grime from my scalp.

          “Thank you for doing this for me,” I sighed as her fingers combed suds through my hair. “It’s been a long week and I appreciate you for pampering me a little.”

          “No need to thank me Keryna,” she hummed. “Not only is it my job, but I don’t mind it at all. I enjoy your company.”

          “Not many people are so content being servants,” I muttered. “Even fewer would be so calm serving the Mad King directly.”

          “My family died during an early rebellion,” she said sadly. “A radical faction of Michael supporters took advantage of the chaos that followed the Mad King when he stepped in to snuff out their attempt to over throw him. They snuck into the part of town with the highest density of elves and just started burning things. The King saved me from a group of them who had cornered me, pulled me up onto Edgar, and brought me back to the castle with the rest of the survivors.”

          “I’m sorry you had to go through that Meg,” I whispered and realized just how charmed my life had been in comparison.

          “It’s fine,” she smiled softly. “It’s been a decade and while I do miss them, I know that they wouldn’t want me to dwell on it too much. But that’s why I’m so happy here. The King saved my life and gave me a new home. I’m safer here than I ever was outside the castle, and I know that the King has a heart in there somewhere. Why else would he have given me this when he could have just as easily kicked me to the street?”

          I smiled and made a note to remember this. Meg was clearly loyal to him, so if the King had no other reason to distrust her we could include her in our plans. She was well liked among the other servants so she could relay any information she overheard to us.

          “What’s that smile for?” Meg teased. “Do you know something I don’t?”

          “No,” I smirked as I pulled my hair out of her hands so that I could rinse the soap out.

          “Well then what is it?” she continued and she went to retrieve a towel as I finished cleaning my hair and pulled the drain.

          Her jaw dropped as I stood up and stepped out of the tub. She stuttered and mumbled incoherently as she saw all the bruises on my body from my sparing match with Ryan.

          “I thought the wolf only hit your shoulder?” She gasped as I took the towel from her stunned hands.

          “It did,” I sighed as I dried myself off, careful not to pat too hard on the purple patches that still littered my body.

          “What did he do to you?” Meg started to shout but dropped her voice as I shot her a warning look.

          “We sparred a little bit,” I explained, but it didn’t look like it made Meg feel better. “I needed to get used to my new sword and the King said it would be better if I practiced with a partner.”

          “He actually hit you with his sword though?” She hissed.

          “Yes, with the flat though,” I assured her. “That’s why they’re bruises and not cuts. To be fair, I think I left a few on him too.”

          “Pardon any disrespect, but I cannot believe you willingly fought the King,” Meg shook her head.

          “I get the feeling he was pulling punches,” I grumbled as I pulled on clean clothes. “Besides, I’ve fought him before.”

          “I know you have, and he tore you up then,” she huffed.

          “I need to stay in practice Meg,” I smiled. “And the King is the best person to spar against. You can’t get better unless you’re willing to challenge yourself.”

          “ _But the King?”_ She continued to gasp and I laughed. “That’s dangerously close to a death wish.”

          Kerry’s angry footsteps caught my attention before I could respond, and I cautiously stepped into the main chamber of my room as he threw the door open.

          “You!” He barked and pointed at me. “King’s chambers! Now!”

          I curiously tilted my head as he stomped back across the hall and Meg gave me an equally confused look before we walked over. I hesitantly walked into the room where the King was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning back on his hands as he watched Kerry pace with a humored twinkle in his eyes. His hair was damp and slicked back but he hadn’t put a tunic on, only trousers and his eyes snapped to me and Meg as we entered, and I saw the smirk he gave Meg as she averted her eyes from his bare chest.

          “What the hell is this about?” Kerry snapped and motioned towards the King.

          I simply raised my eyebrow at the mysteriously infuriated man and I saw his fury grow as he glared at me accusingly.

          “The bruises woman!” he snarled, and I gave him my own angry glare. “Why does he have bruises all over his arms and legs?”

          “It’s my job to keep him alive Kerry,” I growled. “Not to keep him pristine. Now you need to calm the fuck down before you say anything else that could get you hurt.”

          His head snapped to the King as my threat landed, and only got a shrug in response.

          “And they’re from me,” I smirked, and the King’s eyebrow shot up as he waited for me to continue. “We sparred again. That’s all. So don’t go getting any ideas.”

          “‘Sparring’,” Kerry mocked. “There’s no way you came out of a sparring match with him unharmed while he’s got marks all over him.”

          “Oh, I was harmed,” I huffed and pulled my pant leg up to show off the largest of my marks. There was a soft rumble of laughter and I shot a glance to the King, who was admiring his handiwork.

          “There are more all over her,” Meg confirmed.

          “You two are crazy,” Kerry sighed in exasperation. “You go out into the forest alone for five days and instead of fucking like normal people, you tried to kill each other.”

          “I didn’t try to kill her,” The King finally spoke up. “She’d be dead if that were the case. She wanted to work with her new sword, so I gave her an opponent. Besides, it’s been awhile since my last fight too.”

          “And the match came to a draw I’ll have you know,” I smiled and stepped up to Kerry. “So, keep that in mind the next time you feel like calling me ‘woman’.”

          “I wasn’t going full bore Keryna,” the King hummed. “Don’t get too high and mighty.”

          “I know my King,” I said and nodded respectfully towards the half-naked monarch as he shot me a warning glare. “I’m sorry.”

          “Looks like some of your God complex rubbed off on her,” Kerry grunted.

          “It does, doesn’t it?” my King smirked as he stood and approached me.

          My heart fluttered in time with the fireplace and I took a deep breath as I focused on not letting the way he leveled his gaze on me affect the flames. He knew what he was doing to me because I saw him glance at the fire for a moment before squaring up to me.

          “I think you may have gotten too familiar with me this week,” my King mused. “You need to be knocked down a little bit. There’s only room for one God in this castle.”

          Meg swore in elven behind me and Kerry suddenly looked very excited as my King’s smirk grew into a downright evil grin. I fought to hold my face in a flat, emotionless stare but on the inside I was experiencing something between terror and excitement.

          “You know your Highness,” Kerry said as he rocked on his heels. “It _has_ been a long time since we had a good Pit fight.”

          “You’re absolutely right Kerry,” my King rumbled and the fire flickered as I bit my tongue to maintain my even expression. “You should arrange one. Keryna against a few of our best fighters. How does the week after next sound?”

          “Perfect!” Kerry chirped gleefully. “I’ll get started on it first thing in the morning.”

          “And in the mean time ‘Little Dove’,” my King sneered and his taunting use of the name that had been said lovingly until now made Kerry giggle and my eye twitch. “I expect you to remember your place. You step out of line again, and it’ll become your public execution.”

          “I understand, my King,” I said calmly and bowed to him.

          “Well, it’s late and I have a public shaming to arrange in the morning,” Kerry grinned and clapped my shoulder as my King stepped away and sat in his chair by the fire.

          “Good night Kerry,” the monarch nodded, and the adviser made his leave.

          “I will also be heading to bed,” Meg sighed and bowed before being dismissed.

          I stared off into space as the King and I were left alone. My shoulders relaxed as I let out a long sigh.

          “I’m sorry I got too cocky,” I apologized as I turned to look at my King. “But is a Pit fight really necessary?”

          “No,” he smirked and looked up at me as he sat back in his chair. “But it’ll distract Kerry for a while. He’ll busy himself with preparations and hopefully he won’t notice you and I snooping around.”

          I sighed again as I turned to sit in my chair across from him, but he caught my hips and pulled me into his lap. I gasped in surprise and the chair creaked loudly at my unexpected weight, but the King seemed unfazed, his playful smirk never faltering.

          “Besides, I did say that I would punish you for acting out of line,” he hummed. “In front of Meg is one thing, I could have found a far more private way to punish you, but you had to go and mouth off to Kerry. Now I have to make an example of you.”

          “Is it bad that I kind of look forward to it?” I sighed as I leaned into his chest.

          “I told you that you’re a masochist,” he teased, and I rolled my eyes as his drifted across my face.

          “I’m only a masochist if I get off on my partner causing me pain,” I murmured as he nuzzled my nose. “So unless you want to hop into the Pit with me, you should just keep your mouth shut.”

          “I’m pretty sure it’s any pain,” he smirked. “But if you want me to get in there and throw you around so you can get off on it later, I’ll definitely consider it.”

          “Don’t go easy on me,” I whispered.

          His hands wandered along my body while he considered my request and after a moment he sighed.

          “You sure about that?” he asked with an undertone of warning.

          “Positive,” I whispered before pressing my lips to his.

          “I could really hurt you,” he continued to warn through my kisses.

          “I know,” I whispered. “But I want to see what the Mad King can _really_ do.”

*~*~*~*

          “Absolutely not,” Councilman Mery’an said plainly as the rest of the council looked at me like I had grown an extra head.

          “I told you they wouldn’t go for it,” my King sighed.

          “Pit fights are meant to last awhile your Highness,” Mery’an continued. “So not only am I shutting this down because we can’t have our King fighting his guard in the Pit, I’m saying no because she would be down in a heartbeat.”

          I glanced down at the King out of the corner of my eye. He was seated in his throne, looking tired as ever while we each fought to stay awake through this meeting. I had walked, or rather shuffled, into the King’s chambers this morning and found a man who hadn’t slept last night. Several nights of good sleep were thrown out the window and his dark bags had returned to give him a constant shadowed look to his gaze.

          I hadn’t slept at all either. I was up most of the night shivering because no matter how much I stoked my fire, I was still cold under the covers. When we met eyes this morning he gave me a sleepy smile as he sympathized with my dilemma.

          “I think you’d be surprised how well she can fight, even against me,” my King yawned. “And it’s not a proposal. Kerry is already making arrangements for fight day.”

          “Your Highness,” Councilwoman Henderson groaned along with the other four council members. “Why do you always do this? Something like a Pit fight needs weeks of preparation.”

          “I asked him to make plans for two weeks from now,” my King retorted. “That’s usually as long as it takes to get everything ready.”

          The council collectively sighed and looked around at each other.

          “What’s the point of a punishment that doesn’t happen for two weeks?” Councilwoman Ciecil pondered.

          “So she can quake in her boots and think about what she’s done,” my King smirked.

          “And then you have someone beat the shit out of her?” Henderson huffed.

          “And then I have someone beat the shit out of her,” he nodded. “Like I said last night. There’s only room for one God complex in this castle. Just because she’s my guard, it doesn’t make her infallible.”

          After another round of nervous looks and a chorus of relenting sighs, Councilman Mery’an rubbed his eyes in frustration before speaking.

          “Fine,” he relented, and the King and I smiled slyly, which elicited several eye rolls. “Keryna will fight in the Pit in a little more than two weeks’ time. The Spring Harvest festival isn’t too long after you’re suggested time, so we’ll push the fight back and use it as an event for the opening day. _If_  for some reason she takes out our three best fighters quickly, _then maybe_ you can jump in your Majesty.”

          “Even better,” my King grinned. “The rest of the celebration will help sooth Keryna’s wounded pride.”

          I wanted to argue that a few good men weren’t really going to be enough to wound my pride. Even if they bested me, they would be the ones with the hurt pride because it took them so long to down one opponent, but my pride in fighting had gotten me in this mess so I just bit my tongue and sighed.

          “You sound so resigned Keryna,” Ciecil smirked.

          “I can’t very well say ‘No, I won’t fight’, now can I?” I answered and looked the councilwoman in the eyes.

          “Now that that’s settled,” my King said as he leaned forward in his throne. “Councilmen Lancaster, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet this morning. Something on your mind?”

          I watched Gereth’s father look up at the King like he was surprised he had noticed and realized that he looked very tired as well.

          “This fight just adds to the things I have to worry about for the festival your Highness,” the older gentleman shrugged.

          “What other things do you have to worry about?” my King questioned.

          “The Spring Harvest brings in a lot of new people your Majesty,” Lancaster explained. “I usually import more ore and gemstones to make up for the extra customers, but a Pit fight starring the King’s guard is going to draw in even more.”

          His explanation was sound, the Spring Harvest brought in people from the far reaches of the kingdom as everyone gathered to show off their wares, but it was hardly something that should have distracted him the way it was. So what if he had to order more to make up for the people who came in from the outskirts?

          I felt the color drain from my face and my jaw dropped as I came to a horrible realization.

          “Yes Keryna?” my King asked with a curious look in his eyes.

          “My parents are going to be there for the fight,” I whined and buried my face in my hands.

          The King’s booming laughter rang through the mostly empty throne room and even a few council members chuckled along with him as I groaned loudly. I could already hear my step father’s judging tone in my mind.

          “Well you better write them and warn them,” my King chortled and wiped a tear from his eye. “Because you’re not leaving that arena undefeated.”


	13. Studying

          I was lounging in my chair in the King’s study and watching my King as he pulled aside a decorative tapestry, removed a few bricks from the wall, and produced a thick stack of files from a hidden compartment.

          “This is everything I have concerning my assassination and anything I thought might lead to the culprits,” he huffed as he set the stack down in front of me.

          “Now I understand why you were going crazy looking through it,” I shook my head as I looked at the six-inch stack of papers. “This is going to take me a while. Especially if I’m going to have to be wary of people trying to read over my shoulder.”

          “I have it organized into sections, so you can take one at a time to make it more manageable,” he grunted as he sat back into his chair. “You’re free to pull from the compartment when ever you can. Right now, I just want you to go through and pull out things you think are actually important, and throw out the things my paranoid mind made me think were important but aren’t.”

          “I don’t think I’m going to start today,” I sighed as I pulled out the first neatly separated section of the file and got up to put the rest back. “I can hardly keep my eyes open as is. I’m not sure I could differentiate shit from gold.”

          “I’m sorry you haven’t been sleeping well,” he hummed behind me while I tried to find the first brick to pull out, but his hiding place was very well concealed. “The one to the left of your hand.”

          “Thank you,” I nodded and rehid the files. “And there’s no need to apologize. I just can’t get comfortable. I haven’t slept for more than two or three hours since we came back the other day.”

          “Me either,” he muttered. “Is it sad that four nights could spoil me like this?”

          “It’s sad that a good night’s sleep is ‘spoiling’,” I smiled.

          “Such is the life of the Mad King,” he exhaled. “Simple pleasures like that are not something I can indulge in anymore.”

          I hopped up on the desk in front of him and smiled as Ryan gave me a sleepy and inquisitive look.

          “What can you indulge in then?” I asked as I playfully kicked his knee.

          “Well, I do still love a good dessert,” he smirked as he placed his hands on my knees and stood. “A nice book, quiet nights, and most recently the company of a beautiful woman.”

          “When did you find this woman?” I teased as his hands slid up my thighs and to my hips. “I never leave your side, I think I’d know if there was a beautiful woman hanging around.”

          “I found her with a sword in her hand,” he said matter-of-factly as he pulled my hips flush to his and let me hold him between my legs. “Blood running down her face as she desperately tried to prove her worth to everyone around her.”

          He pressed his lips to mine gently before he kept whispering to me as he kissed across my jaw and down my neck.

          “Met her again over lunch one day, giggling because she drank a little too much wine but still was sharp as my blade. I finally caught her in the woods, ashen hair blowing in the wind as her pale violet eyes stared up at the sky.”

          “And you say Kerry is the one who reads too many books,” I teased and was rewarded with a playful bite on the neck, causing me to moan quietly.

          “It’s been a lonely reign Keryna,” he hummed. “I’ve had a lot of time to work on my romantic advances. I’m just glad you’re not too ‘tough’ to appreciate them.”

          “Just because I’ve killed before, doesn’t mean I’m not a sucker for a smooth talker like you, my King,” I purred and I felt him shiver at the last few words.

          “Gods,” he groaned softly as he kissed back up to my lips. “I wish I could just lay you across this desk and make you mine but even if we did have an amulet, I’m pretty sure I’m too tired to be any good.”

          “I’m sure you’d be fine, my King,” I murmured and he shuddered again. “It’s too bad that it’s almost impossible to discretely obtain an amulet. I have one back on the farm, but I can’t very well write my mother and ask for it.”

          “Why would you leave something like that behind?” he teased as he nibbled on my lip.

          “I’m sorry I didn’t anticipate becoming the Mad King’s lover,” I hissed back and felt his lips pull into a sly smile.

          “That’s fine,” he murmured as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’ve already exceeded my expectations in every way, so I’m more than happy with this.”

          “You mean you didn’t anticipate taking me as your lover?” I grinned.

          “No, but I’m glad I did.”

*~*~*~*

          A few days later, we were curled up in his study once again. The storm thundered outside as the second consecutive day of severe weather kept us cooped up in our quarters. No one was going to want to brave this storm to have an audience with the King, and the council was busy preparing for the Spring Harvest festival, so we took advantage of the first bit of privacy since our last conversation in the study.

          Sleep still alluded us, and we were both starting to suffer more than normal. The few hours at night that we had alone after Kerry and Meg went to bed, consisted of the two of us simply relishing in each other’s presence before I had to go to my own room and _try_ to get an hour’s rest before another day of wandering around the castle like a zombie. We were too tired to do more than lean on the other’s shoulder and talk quietly.

          So here I was, sitting in my King’s lap, hunched over the desk as I tried to focus on making sense of his paranoid ramblings and finding any connections that I could while he snored quietly behind me. His hand gently griped my waist while the other limply held the book he had been reading before he nodded off. I was going to let him sleep for a bit before I tried to wake him so that maybe I could get some rest too, but the steady rain and his warmth made it hard for me to keep my eyes open. I read the same sentence again for the fifth time before giving in and laying my head down in my arms, grateful that I had decided to forego my armor and relax with my King in just my tunic and trousers.

          I tried to stay awake, but as I remembered that Kerry was visiting family and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow evening, I found myself drifting off as my King’s gentle breathing and my own synced.

          The next thing I knew, there was a soft gasp as the study door creaked lightly.

          My eyes shot open and I was briefly disoriented because at some point I had been moved and was now laying against my King’s chest as he continued to snore away peacefully with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist to keep me in his lap. Once I regained my bearings I locked my eyes on a stunned Meg, who was standing in the doorway with a tray of tea and small desserts. I moved my hand from Ryan’s shoulder where it was resting and held a finger to my lips, to which she closed her gawking mouth and nodded fervently.

          I managed to wiggle out of Ryan’s grip and sit up in his lap as she set the tray down on the desk in front of me. It looked like he was the one who had moved me, because the file I had been working on was closed and tucked under a pile of similar looking folders and his book rested near the edge. I sat in silence as I tried to wake myself up enough to deal with this before the King woke up and sighed sadly as I saw Meg’s shaking hands reach for the teapot to pour me a cup.

          “Meg,” I whispered, and she froze solid. “You don’t need to be afraid.”

          “What do you mean ‘I don’t need to be afraid’?” she hissed as she wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to calm down. “I could have my eyes gouged out or something for this.”

          “You won’t,” I assured her and she pursed her lips in disbelief. “We’ve discussed this possibility. You promise to keep silent on the topic, and nothing will be done. If we find out you tell the other servants, then you may end up in prison for slander. If we find out you told Kerry, then you _might_ have your tongue cut out.”

          “That’s reassuring,” she snapped quietly as I reached out for a cookie. “Why does Kerry warrant a stronger punishment?”

          “Because we’re still trying to figure this out ourselves,” I lied. “We don’t need him teasing us constantly. Especially if it doesn’t work out.”

          “Besides,” I added and locked eyes with her. “I assured his Majesty that, if you found out, you would keep this a secret Meg. Don’t make me a liar.”

          She stewed over my threat for a moment, before chewing on her lip and returning to pouring my cup of tea.

          “You’re lucky I knew this would happen and was preparing for the day I walked in on something I shouldn’t, or I’d be upset at you for threating me,” Meg grunted.

          “Were we that obvious?” I asked, suddenly worried as I looked over my shoulder at the sleeping man behind me.

          “No,” she sighed. “But I’ve gotten to know you very well, and I know his Majesty pretty well too. From the beginning, there was something to your relationship that was _more_ than just a body guard. I couldn’t tell what, but I could see it.”

          “You think Kerry knows or suspects something?” I continued as I stared at Ryan’s chest.

          “If he does, he lied to my face about it,” Meg shrugged. “He said that he gives you a hard time about it, but he actually doubts that the King is capable of that level of human connection.”

          “You hear that?” I asked and Meg inhaled sharply as she realized I wasn’t addressing her. “Kerry thinks you’re a heartless monster.”

          “Good,” Ryan rumbled as he eyes slowly opened. “Let him keep thinking that. It’s better for us and the entire kingdom if this doesn’t get out.”

          “Your Majesty,” Meg whimpered as she bowed low before the drowsy monarch. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in. I just wanted to surprise you two with some snacks to brighten up your day. I beg for your forgiveness.”

          While she was talking, Ryan looked at me and nodded towards the tray of food and I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the slice of cake I knew he wanted.

          “You’re fine Meg,” he muttered before taking a bite. “You finding out was the best case scenario anyway. This just means we don’t have to be as secretive, because Keryna can hear Kerry from a mile away.”

          “You… You mean you’re not upset?” Meg stammered.

          “Oh, I’m upset,” my King hummed and the color drained from her face. “But there’s nothing I can do about it. Punishing you would look too suspicious, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t fond of you.”

          “I’m really confused as to if that was a compliment or a threat,” she huffed.

          “Take the compliment,” I murmured as I tried to get out of Ryan’s lap, but he tightened his hold on me with his free hand and held fast.

          “You’re not off the hook Miss Super Ears,” he scolded me. “How on Earth did you not here Meg come in until it was too late?”

          “I’m fucking tired as hell too you know,” I sighed as I turned in his lap to face him. “I dozed off and the last week of terrible sleep caught up to me.”

          “I made myself known too,” Meg added and the King’s eyebrows shot up accusingly as he stared at me.

          “She could have been an assassin,” he spat but I saw the humor behind his eyes.

          “I still woke up,” I huffed as he smiled through the last bite of cake. “I would have killed them by the time _you_ woke up.”

          “Sure you would,” he taunted and held up a hand before I could argue.

          “That pride is what got you into the Pit my dear,” he warned. “You continue your thought and I’ll have to get more creative. Just because we’re close, doesn’t mean I’ll let you get away with mouthing off.”

          “You’re lovers and you’re still sending her to the Pit?” Meg sighed, and our attention snapped to her.

          “We were lovers _before_ I sent her to the Pit,” Ryan smiled smugly. “But I warned her that if she got mouthy in front of the wrong people, she would be punished.”

          “But mouthy behind closed doors is fine?” Meg giggled.

          “It’s preferred,” my King winked, and I groaned as I finally stood up despite his arm trying to hold me still while he embarrassed me in front of Meg.

          “What time is it Meg?” I asked, trying to end the conversation and get my bearings.

          “A few hours after midday,” she smiled as she politely turned to address me as I crossed over to the other side of the desk and sat in my chair. “The cook tells me that dinner will be a little late due to a lack of vegetables and a runner was sent to buy some more, but the rain is making it a slow run.”

          “Thank you, Meg,” my King nodded as he sat forward in his chair and grabbed his cup of tea. “When you bring dinner, make more noise this time.”

          “I’m not going to walk in on something more… intimate, am I?” Meg asked cautiously, making me snort my tea.

          “No, Meg,” my King hummed while I coughed. “Not anytime soon anyway.”

          “Good,” she sighed in relief. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone then.”

          I carefully wiped myself off as I listened to her walk away and Ryan took a long drink from his cup.

          “Did you learn anything before you passed out?” he asked quietly and motioned towards the file as he reached for more cake.

          “I’m slowly but surely piecing things together,” I mumbled through another cookie. “You’re right to suspect Lancaster and Formuth. They both have ties to the organization your assassin came from, and both families would stand to benefit from your removal. The problem is that the evidence you have is all circumstantial at best. I have yet to find any hard evidence pointing to either of them as the head of this conspiracy.”

          “But Formuth keeps trying to force his daughter on me!” Ryan snapped.

          “That’s not a reason to accuse him of trying to kill you,” I said calmly as I tried to diffuse the crazy look in my King’s eyes. “Yes, he does appear to be trying to step in on the throne but wanting his daughter to marry the King doesn’t necessarily mean that he tried to kill you and is now trying another path to royalty. At the very least, it means that he’s trying to set his daughter up to live comfortably because his sons are squabbling over inheritance that she’ll never see.”

          “What about Lancaster?” Ryan continued.

          “Again, you have leads that _could_ be incriminating, but without more I wouldn’t go after them,” I shook my head as he looked visibly upset and his leg started to bounce nervously. “He has worked with the assassin’s that came after you, but all his hits were on bandits and thieves. He hasn’t gone for anything higher than a cartel leader that was disrupting his trade routes. As for trying to set Gereth up as your body guard and all the suspicious shit that went on around that, I have an idea, but it doesn’t involve your death. I still have two or three files to go though, so I could still find something.”

          “What’s your theory on the Gereth thing?” he asked.

          “My best guess so far is that he was hoping to have an in so that he could influence you to set up trade deals that would benefit him,” I shrugged. “The last few that you’ve signed in didn’t help him, one even hurt him a little by raising the price of imported ore, but there’s no solid evidence for anything more.”

          Ryan continued to twitch nervously, and for the first time since our hunting trip, I saw the crazed look in his eyes. He didn’t like hearing that we were losing ground rather than gaining it and I hated it too, but I couldn’t let him go out and kill the head of a major noble family without proper evidence. If I did, it would only make the people hate him enough that dealing with him wasn’t worth it, and something told me that they wouldn’t let him live in exile like the kings before him.

          I winced as the thought of my King on the chopping block passed my minds eye and I felt the fire in my chest, even through the stone wall between his study and bedroom. I gulped hard as I tried to shove it away, but his nervous twitching and shifting eyes only made me feel worse.

          “My King,” I whispered as I held my hand out across the table.

          His eyes flicked to me and I sighed as the crazed haze faded and I saw the very tired man underneath. Ryan closed his eyes and pinched his temples before reaching out and taking my hand.

          “We’ll get through this my King,” I reassured him, and his eyes slowly opened. “I know it feels like we’re regressing, but we can’t act without proper evidence. That would only harm you more than letting them continue to plot behind our backs.”

          “Besides,” I grinned and his eyebrow raised questioningly. “They can try to take you from me while we figure this out. Over my dead body.”

          “Don’t tempt fate Little Dove,” he sighed but smiled as he squeezed my hand. “If we continue to sleep this poorly, it will be easy for anyone to come for us.”

          “Well,” I mused with a sly smirk. “Now that the cat has poked its head out of the bag and Meg knows. We could start spending the night together sometimes.”

          “She’s not the only one who comes into my room without waiting for my permission you know,” Ryan huffed.

          “Who else? Kerry?” I asked. “He leaves the castle to stay the night somewhere at least once a week. One night of sleep is better than what we have going on now. Is there anyone else?”

          He stared blankly at me for a moment as he racked his brain for someone else who would enter the King’s chambers without his verbal permission, but I had been with him long enough to know that no one else even _looked_ down this wing without his verbal permission. When he realized this, his eyes focused in on me and a sly grin spread across his face.

          “Little Dove,” he teased. “Are you trying to convince me to sleep with you?”

          “‘Trying’?” I smiled. “I’m pretty sure you said the other day that you wanted to lay me out on this desk and ‘sleep with’ me. You’re already convinced. I just wanna know if I can fucking try to sleep for more than an hour.”

          His smile widened and he squeezed my hand tightly before drawing it up to his face and kissing my knuckles.

          “At least if I still can’t sleep, I’ll have you to keep me company,” he hummed.

          So when it came time for bed, we said our goodnights to Meg and listened as she walked down the hall. I waited patiently for her footsteps to fade away, and then waited more as I made sure that no one else was lurking around in the hall outside. We usually stayed up together long after she had felt us alone and we never have been interrupted by anyone, but I kept an ear out as I watched my King continue reading his book.

          His brow furrowed and I hummed in curiosity.

          “Well what do you know,” Ryan grinned. “Those gypsies are a sly bunch. I love them.”

          “What?” I huffed with laughter.

          “Remember how you said that the gypsies said something about you being a piece of the moon?”

          “Yes. What about it?”

          “Well,” he grinned. “I though it sounded familiar, and I had been wanting to touch up on gypsy folklore before they returned so I went looking and found this. Their moon deity is described as an androgynous being with pale hair and deep purple eyes that fade when the sun comes out and out shines them.”

          “Oh! So he were trying to flatter me, but I was too dense to make the connection,” I snorted and my King chuckled in response.

          “It gets worse my dear. Do you know what one of the moon deity’s symbols is?” he asked and waited for my response, but I just shrugged.

          “The dove,” he cooed.

          “Fuck me!” I snapped and he burst into laughter. “That guy must have been insane. No matter what my mother tells you, all the gypsies weren’t head over heels for me. Just that one.”

          “He was jonesing for you hard Keryna,” he giggled as I rubbed my head and remembered the way he looked at me like I was the single most important thing in his life.

          “He must have hit his head or something,” I shook my head in disbelief. “There’s no way that I was that beautiful at sixteen. I hadn’t started training yet, so I was still scrawny and my hair was much longer and nothing like the smooth locks that elves usually have.”

          “I like your hair,” Ryan muttered as he reached out to take some of it between his fingers. “Thick and wavy frames your face much nicer than the straight and fine hair your mother has. Though I would be interested in seeing you with long hair.”

          Ever since joining the military, I kept it cut to about chin length and the last time it was longer than that was the night before I joined. I wanted to keep it short so people couldn’t pull it in battle, but there were many women who had long hair and never had problems during a fight. So, as Ryan’s hand drifted down to my shoulders as he tried to imagine what I’d look like with longer hair, I gently took it and placed his fingers just below my collarbone.

          “That’s where it was when I was sixteen,” I muttered and I saw his pupils dilate in the fire light.

          “What a sight that would be,” he hummed appreciatively as a sweet smile crossed his lips. “Keep the braids and pull it all back into a pony tail. You never wear a helmet anyway, so there’s no worry there. I would love to see it.”

          I blushed and looked away as he noticed my cheeks and leaned over to me.

          “Really Keryna?” he chuckled quietly as he rested his hand on my leg. “I tell you I want to fuck you on my desk and you don’t bat an eye, but I say that I think you’d be incredibly beautiful with longer hair and you become bashful?”

          “I don’t know why but, it’s different,” I mumbled, amazed at my own shyness and struggling to keep my fluttering heart from coming through in the fire.

          He stood up and pulled me out of my chair to stand with him. Ryan guided my arms to his shoulders before wrapping his around my waist. I shuddered at his tenderness and the fire popped loudly as I finally failed to control my magic. He chuckled softly before pressing his forehead to mine.

          “Come my dear,” he murmured before kissing me softly. “Let’s go to bed. Maybe a good night’s sleep will clear your head.”

          His hands gently cupped my ass as he lifted me off the ground and carried me to bed. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he continued to gently kiss around my face. The fire popped again as he laid me down on his covers and looked at me from where he stood next to the bed. I unwrapped my legs and let them slowly fall down his sides, which garnered me a head shake and a smirk before Ryan motioned for me to get under the covers.

          When I sat up, I instinctively pulled my shirt over my head and had my thumbs hooked under my waistband when I realized what I was doing and froze as I felt his eyes on my body.

          “Oh, please Karyna,” my King hummed sensually as he pulled his own tunic off. “Do continue.”

          “No,” I said firmly, despite the ache in my chest that begged me to say otherwise. “If someone _does happen_ to waltz in, I don’t want to have to trip over my pants as I rush to put them on before the intruder can tell that I was in bed with you.”

          “Fair enough,” He chuckled, keeping his own trousers on too before climbing into bed and positioning himself behind me so that I was between him and the door.

          “But is this really comfortable to sleep in?” he asked as ran his finger along my chest binding.

          “No, not really. Go ahead,” I sighed and my skin tingled as he tugged on the strings that laced the cloth shut.

          I shivered as I pulled it away from my body and tossed it onto my discarded tunic. I turned to look at my King, and I felt the blush return as I saw him laying on his side waiting for me to lay down so that he could hold me. He chuckled again as he hooked a hand around my waist and gently guided me to the mattress.

          “You can leave at any time,” he whispered in my ear as he pulled his chest flush to my back. “I won’t be upset and I won’t force you to stay if you get uncomfortable.”

          “I won’t leave,” I muttered as his arm wrapped tightly around me and sleep already started to pull me under. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

          “Keryna,” he whispered softly as I wondered why there were tears in my eyes.

          “Yes, my King?” I muttered and the ache in my chest only grew as I felt him sigh against my ear.

          “Nothing,” he said and kissed my ear. “Just go to sleep Little Dove.”


	14. The Pit

          “You don’t have to go through with this,” my mother grumbled as I applied a deep purple war paint to my cheeks.

          “The paint is customary in the Pit,” I sighed as I let the extra paint run down my cheeks in rivulets. “Especially because I need to intimidate these guys to make up for the size difference. Also because the crowd eats this shit up.”

          “I meant the fight in general,” she spat as I started to spiral a line of paint down one arm.

          “I do though mom,” I shrugged. “Not only because Kerry hyped the shit out of this fight and half the damn kingdom is out there, but because this is my punishment for equating myself to the King.”

          “Is that what this is about?” she shrieked as she slapped the back of my head. “You really are an arrogant bastard!”

          “I was only telling the truth,” I hissed as I rubbed the back of my head. “I said that the King and I sparred during our hunting trip and that it came to a draw. The King was quick to mention that he was going easy on me, and then decided that I needed to be punished for my pride. The Pit was Kerry’s idea. Blame him for this.”

          She threw her hands into the air and began throwing out every elven curse I knew, and then some. I simply pursed my lips and washed the paint off my hand before putting on the light leather armor I was given while I waited for her to finish.

          “Do you know what one of the main things the royal advisor pushed was? One phrase that kept coming up?” she scowled. “‘The King’s dog won’t leave undefeated.’ He thinks this is just punishment for almost letting you win a stupid fight against him?”

          “What would you suggest he did instead?” I asked as I tried to get the thin leather chest piece to sit comfortably on me, but I had gotten used to my custom armor, so the borrowed piece wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I huffed in frustration as I realized that I was going to be limited in movement.

          “I don’t know,” she resigned as she sat down hard on a nearby bench. “I just don’t want to watch my daughter get the shit beat out of her. At least as a soldier, I didn’t have to be there at every battle you fought.”

          “You don’t have to stay Mom,” I said gently as I held her face in my hands. “You can go and check out the shops and vendors. It’s the first day of the festival, so all the food is fresh, and the best things haven’t been taken yet.”

          “I’m going to stay,” she huffed resolutely, and I just smiled and shook my head.

          “Only because I’ll be the only one rooting for you out there,” she continued as I picked up my wooden sword and gave it a twirl to get a feel for it.

          “You won’t be the _only_ one. I’m sure there will be at least one other person on my side,” I smirked as I thought of Ryan, sitting under the King’s ringside awning, and silently enjoying himself as he watched me fight.

          “Five minutes Keryna,” one of the guards called through the door.

          “I’ll see you after the fight Mom,” I sighed as she bent down to kiss my forehead.

          “Be safe my little one,” she huffed. “Or at least as safe as you can be. I love you.”

          “I love you too.”

          When I opened the door to the tunnel that connected my changing room to the arena, I was surprised to see Kerry and I raised an eyebrow as he grinned at me smugly. He made a big show of stepping around me and taking my mother’s hand and tucking it under his arm like he was going to lead her somewhere.

          “His Majesty King Ryan has requested that you join him for the fight m’lady,” Kerry crooned as I rolled my eyes.

          “It’s bad enough that I have to watch my daughter get beaten, now he wants me to have front row seats,” she sighed and shook her head. “Fine. Lead the way. I might as well be comfortable while I watch my own flesh and blood spill into the dirt.”

          “You know Mom,” I huffed. “You’re the only one who seems to think that I’ll fail miserably.”

          “I don’t think you’ll fail little one,” she smiled. “It’s that I know you won’t go down easy, and probably not until you’re bleeding and possibly unconscious. You’ve never been one to back down from a fight.”

          “See,” Kerry grinned. “That stubbornness and pride is what got her here and is what the King is trying to break.”

          “He’s going to need more than three men then,” my Mother winked, and I smiled slyly. “She lived with my husband for eighteen years, and he never broke her. Tripped, sure, but he never could keep her down.”

          “Thanks Mom,” I winked before Kerry led her away.

          I stood at the gate that opened up into the Pit and I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I listened to the crowd that was seated above me and could hear the excited chatter of two women.

          “I have faith in the guard,” one huffed to her friend. “She got to be his guard for a reason.”

          “I mean, they say she slept with him to become the guard,” the other said and I pursed my lips.

          “You know that’s a dirty rumor that Gereth started, right?” the first said and I cocked my head so that I could hear better. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was him, but I wanted to hear her evidence.

          “He came in to the bar after Keryna was announced the King’s new guard,” she continued, and I smiled as I knew where this was going. He never could handle his ale. “He whined to me all night about how he tried his hardest to sway opinion by tarnishing her reputation, but how he had lost it and was going to disappoint his father and ruin the Kingdom.”

          “Is he really that big of a pig that he honestly thinks that a woman can’t protect the King?”

          “I don’t know, the only other bits that I caught were-”

          Suddenly the girls fell silent along with the rest of the crowd and I saw Ryan stand to address them from his place across the arena. I sighed as I saw him, silver and gold embellished armor glinting in the sunlight as he gave the crowd a once over with his cool stare and crooked smile. He was really going to get a kick out of this fight, and I couldn’t help but be eager to fight.

          Being locked up in the castle reminded me of how much I had enjoyed sparring with my fellow soldiers. It acted as a stress release and there was just something about hitting other people with wooden swords that was very satisfying. I twirled my sword again as butterflies took off in my stomach and my arms tingled as they begged for a fight.

          “Ladies and gentlemen of our glorious kingdom,” Ryan’s voice boomed across the silent arena, and I felt goosebumps cover my arms. “Welcome to the Pit!”

          The crowd erupted with cheers and some people began stomping their feet as if it could draw out the combatants. I had been to a few Pit fights while I was still just a soldier, and I understood their excitement. They didn’t happen often, usually when nobles had beef with each other and sent champions to fight it out, but to have the King present _and_ his guard was one of the fighters must have had them in a frenzy. Once the crowd had settled down, my King continued.

          “I’m sure you’re all aware of the special fight we have lined up for today,” he grinned and his eyes locked onto me as he waited for the short bout of cheering to fade. “My loyal guard Keryna seems to think that just because she serves the King directly, that means she can walk around my castle and flex her muscles like she actually holds any power over people.”

          There was a quiet bit of laughter as Ryan took a drink before continuing.

          “There is nothing I would _love_ more than to personally beat her off this pedestal she’s placed herself on, but the council says that it would be too quick of a fight and unworthy of our time. Their idea is to have her go against three fighters of their choosing, so that it would be closer to a decent fight time and still be enough to take her down,” he paused for more laughter.

          “So on the council’s end of the Pit we have: Arthur Pensington, Nag’a Ferrhow, and Gereth Lancaster,” he announced and grinned evilly as the opposite gate was opened and the three fighters stepped into the arena.

          Gereth was wearing his usual smug grin as he threw his hands up to egg on the audience’s cheering, and I wasn’t too concerned about fighting him. It was the other two that made me a little cautious.

          Arthur Pensington was the third son of a blacksmith so, because he’d never inherit the shop and he wasn’t the brightest, he had joined the military. I was by no means short, I was only an inch or two shorter than the King, but Pensington towered over me. The joke in the barracks was that he had gotten that big because his father used him as child labor, but then one day he threw a hammer through a stone wall and we thought better than to keep talking.

          Nag’a Ferrhow had been a friend of mine when we first started in the military, but we were split up after basic training and this was the first time I had gotten a good look at her in almost seven years. She was more muscular than I had remembered her, but she had been stationed near the mountains, so I imagined the rough terrain had strengthened her. She had a similar fighting style to mine, but where I excelled in swordplay, she was easily three times as nimble as I was.

          I sighed heavily as the trio came to a stop near the middle of the arena and my King waited for the crowd to get quiet again. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought, but it was still going to be interesting.

          “And on my side of the Pit: Keryna Stormborne!”

          The crowd cheered, but I could hear some people booing as I walked out of the tunnel and into the afternoon sun. I made sure the level my gaze on each of my opponents as I approached them. Nag’a smiled slyly as I stopped about ten feet away from them.

          “You’ve gotten bigger,” she observed.

          “So have you,” I smiled back as I pressed my fist to my shoulder and bowed to the three of them. “And you’re just as big as I remember you Arthur.”

          He just grunted and gave me a crooked smile in response, so I turned my attention to my King as he stood against the railing and looked down from his perch twelve feet above us. My mother was seated behind him in what usually would have been Kerry’s spot, but it appeared that the advisor was opting to stand for the fight and let Mom have his seat.

          “You know the rules,” my King said as he gave each of us a hard stare. “No killing. You can only use the wooden weapons given to you. No using anything that might get thrown into the arena, or you will be punished accordingly. The fight ends when Keryna either yields, is knocked unconscious, or takes the three of you out after a reasonable amount of time. Everyone came here today for a good fight, so I expect you to give us one.”

          “And if I take them out quickly?” I asked after the roar of excitement died down.

          “I will come down there and beat your ass into the dirt myself,” he spat and I saw the anger flash in his eyes as he gripped the railing tightly.

          We were too far away for me to tell if he was acting, so my instinctive reaction was the shy away immediately as I bowed my head and turned my face away from him. The crowd also fell uncomfortably quiet as his voice echoed through the Pit.

          “Look at you Keryna,” Gereth snarled. “You even react to him like a dog getting in trouble.”

          “Don’t get cocky Gereth,” Nag’a warned as she adjusted her grip on her sword. “I distinctly remember hearing that you have yet to win a fight against her.”

_Good._ I grinned as I watched Gereth start to argue with her but was shushed by Arthur’s glare. They were fighting amongst themselves already. If I could just manage to get them in each other’s way and increase their tensions, I could probably make them crumble and take them out easier.

          “She may be the King’s dog, but that means she’s well trained,” Arthur’s deep voice rumbled. “If we let her get to us, she’s sure to win.”

          My eyes flicked up to the larger man and I smirked as he stared back down at me, face flat and eyes impossible to read.

          “Just as ruthless as ever Keryna,” Nag’a laughed. “I’ve missed you. Maybe after you’ve recovered from today, we can take the time to catch up.”

          “Don’t be friendly to her!” Gereth snapped

          I looked up to my King as Nag’a spat curses in elven at the noble, and Ryan had his face in his hand as they started arguing again. The crowd was starting to giggle, and I could see my mother’s face turning red as she tried to contain her own laughter. My King rubbed is face and looked down at me with a disappointed shake of his head. I saw him sigh and then he waved his hand to start the fight. The crowd cheered loudly, making Gereth and Nag’a look around in confusion, but Arthur had seen the King’s signal too.

          He always was swift for his size, and I jumped back as he stepped forward and swung at me. The tip of his sword grazed my chest, and my wide grin returned as I continued to step backwards.

          My heart raced as the three of them split to flank me, and I couldn’t tell if it was the roar of the crowd or my adrenaline that was making my head feel light as I tried to decide which to go after first. Gereth would be the easiest target, but his cocky attitude and need to beat me would only get in the way of the other two, so I needed him up for now. Nag’a was going to need as much of my focus as possible so that I could keep her in front of me where I could see her. I sighed and centered myself as I looked at Arthur. He was the first that needed to go.

          I charged him like I was going to swing, but at the last moment I slid between his legs. Nag’a was quick on her feet and had started towards me as I got to mine and jumped onto Arthur’s back.

          The crowd hooted and hollered as I brought my sword to his neck and tried to use it to strangle him. My arms were too small to do it without the extra leverage that came from the sword and I fought to stay on his back as he tried to throw me. He was starting to cough and his hands raked across my sword as he fought for air, when a hand grabbed my belt and yanked me off the titan.

          I rolled backwards and sized the dark elf up while she circled me. Gereth had run to Arthur’s side, but the larger man rejected his assistance as he caught his breath and I knew it would upset the young noble.

          Nag’a lunged forward and I deflected her swing with my bracer, but the borrowed armor was thin and I hissed at the pain as I stepped away from her. Her face was flat as she focused on me and started attacking me again. I tried to evade her, but the ill-fitting chest piece refused to move the way I needed, and I took a hit to the shoulder and another to my waist as she used her back swing to hit me again.

          The pain shocked me, and my vision started to turn red as the attacks set off a part of my brain that I hadn’t used in a little over a year. The world seemed to slow as my head stopped reeling from the blows and started begging me to fight harder. I grit my teeth and lunged at my old friend, my sword falling from my hand as I surprised her and knocked her onto her back.

          “Sorry,” I hissed as my fingers wrapped around her throat. “You know how it goes.

          She kicked and clawed at me, trying to escape, but her initially startled look turned into a more humored resignation as she nodded weakly. Her eyes fluttered and I felt a sick sense of victory before a large hand grabbed the back of my armor and lifted me into the air.

          I kicked and flailed, and the crowd laughed at me as Arthur held me up like a puppy. My flailing was getting me nowhere and Arthur was holding me up so that Gereth could take pot shots at me while I was defenseless. The young man was twirling his sword as he watched me and decided where to start hitting me. He reeled back and there was a loud crack as his wooden sword connected with my hip.

          I howled in pain as the crowed roared with approval and Gereth was eating it up. I felt tears well in the corners of my eyes as my hip throbbed in time with my racing heart. I growled as my brain screamed at me through the pain.

_Get him!_

          I reached down to undo the straps to my chest piece, and it was already so loose that I only needed to release one before I could slip right out. Arthur had a good grip on me, and I could hear my tunic tear as I fell to the ground. The crowd gasped and I could hear a few whistles as I landed with my tunic torn and hanging loosely off my shoulders. I threw myself at Gereth, whose eyes immediately shot to my chest and I roared with anger as I picked him up and threw him to the dirt. His head bounced off ground and his surprised yelp turned into a low gurgle as I stood up and looked to my opponents.

          Nag’a had gotten up and was staring wide eyed as I trembled with rage. My hip was starting to scream with pain despite my adrenaline rush and it was only driving my need to fight back, but then I felt a familiar sensation, one I hadn’t felt in several months. My eyes fluttered and the pain ebbed away slightly as I recognized the feeling my King’s eyes locked on me while I fought. He followed me as I stepped forward and my shaking hands steadied as I worked myself into a sprint.

          I pulled my ruined shirt over my head and jumped at Arthur again, wrapping the cloth around his head as I intentionally aimed to his left and used my momentum and my control of his head to brink him hard onto his back.

          “Yield!” he barked as he started to writhe in pain and I whirled around to face Nag’a again.

          She looked worried for a moment, before shaking her head and throwing down her weapon.

          “Come and get me farmhand!” she taunted in elven and I grinned evilly as she used her old insult on me.

          We each made our way to the middle of the arena as healers ran out onto the field to grab the two downed men. I smiled as we circled each other, and she tore off her own chest piece so that she could move as well and even the playing field. The crowd erupted in cheers and we each shook our heads. I could still feel my King’s gaze and I circled around Nag’a so that I could get a clear look at him.

          His face was even and measured as he watched the fight, but his eyes flickered across my body and I felt a shiver of pleasure sweep over my body. Too bad my hip was going to be sore for the next day or so.

          Nag’a took a step forward and swung her arm back for a punch, but I stepped up to her too and grabbed her shoulders. I could handle the punch that she was going to land on my stomach, but once Nag’a was grappled, her nimbleness wouldn’t be enough to save her. I had slid a hand behind her head and readied to bring it down into my knee after her hit, but my concentration was broken by searing pain in my gut and back.

          The crowd gasped and I saw Ryan and my mother jump to their feet as I stared at Nag’a in disbelief. I grunted in pain as she pulled the long dagger out of my abdomen and gave me a mocking smirk in response. I had been stabbed before, but not only had the dark elf gone straight through me, my stomach radiated with heat and I felt like fire was flowing through my veins.

          “I know you’re resistant to nightshade,” she hissed at me as I began to shake and the crowd screamed. “But there’s more than enough in you to kill before you can make it back to the castle.”

          “Why?” I grunted as I saw my King vault over the railing behind her.

          “Because it will be much easier to get to him with you out of the way,” she sneered and I saw her jaw shift.

          I gasped as I realized what she was doing and used my grip on her to hold her steady as I shoved my hand into her mouth. She gagged as my fingers invaded her but I knew I had to get the poison pill before she bit down on it. I blinked hard and tried to focus through the fire that was consuming me and sighed as my fingers scooped up the pill in time for Ryan to yank Nag’a out of my grip.

          “We need to keep her,” I groaned and held up the pill for him to see. “I bet we can get all kinds of good information out of her.”

          “I’ll never talk,” she shrieked as my King threw her to an approaching guard.

          “Take her to the dungeon!” my King barked. “And torture her gently. I need her alive and talking for as long as possible.”

          The world spun as I looked down at my injury and I hummed worriedly as I saw my blood flowing freely from the three-inch hole above my belly button. The blood pouring out of me was a deep purple as the poisonous nightshade turned it toxic, and the flesh around the wound as turning black. Purple tendrils spread out from there as the poison flowed through my veins. My entire abdomen was some shade of purple and the burning sensation was starting to get to me.

          “Ryan,” I whimpered softly as the world spun and I reached out for his shoulder to stop my fall.

          I was scooped up before I could hit the ground, and I stared up at the beautiful blue sky as Ryan cradled me in his arms. I gulped hard as the red haze of battle started to turn violet and my vision narrowed. I heard my breaths getting ragged and then suddenly the sky was gone as I was carried back into the tunnel and out of the Pit.

          “Nady’a!” his voice rang through the static in my ears.

          “Mom?” I whined as she came into my view.

          “I’m right here my little one,” she cooed before looking up at Ryan and switching to the uncommon dialect of elven that she used to speak with me in private.

          “If you want her to live, you better hope your apothecary has everything I need,” she spat and I furrowed my brow.

          “He has everything,” my King growled back in the same tongue. “We just need to get her there.”

          I looked up at Ryan as he shouted for someone to get Edgar and Deriny’a.

          “Why do you understand her?” I asked, the already heavy dialect making me trip over my own tongue.

          “I’ll explain once you’ve recovered Little Dove,” he whispered and brushed some hair out of my face.

          “‘Little Dove’?” my mother snapped. “You mean to tell me you’re fucking my daughter and still sent her to the Pit?”

          “Nady’a,” my King warned as the sky became darker. “I sent her to the Pit because she mouthed off to the wrong person and I needed to punish her so that it didn’t look like I was giving her special treatment. I _didn’t_ send her here thinking that she might get fucking killed.”

          “What kind of man would willingly watch his lover get beaten unconscious just to keep his reputation?” she barked.

          “The kind that doesn’t want her killed _because_ of his reputation!” Ryan roared as he lifted me up onto Edgar’s back. “We can talk about this more once she’s stable Nady’a, but right now I need to get her to the castle!”

          “Ryan,” I whined as my vision was totally taken over by a purple film.

          “I’m right here Keryna,” he whispered in my ear and I shivered as his arm wrapped tightly around me and I could feel his armor on my back. “I’ve got you, and your mother is going to heal you. When you wake up, I’ll be right there. I promise.”

          “Ryan,” I whimpered again as the world turned black, and all I could feel was the tight ache in my chest and Ryan’s shaking breath on my ear.


	15. Waking Up

          My head felt like it was full of water, and it sloshed around uncomfortably as I sat up in my bed. My back ached and sitting up made a stabbing pain shoot from my bellybutton to my extremities. When I looked down, I was surprised to see only a pink line on my belly where I had been impaled. While it wasn’t often that someone received treatment fast enough to cure them from nightshade poisoning, it wasn’t completely unheard of, but I had thought those who did ended up with serious scars. I looked around my room and furrowed my brow.

          Not only was I totally alone, but there was no fire going and the only thing I could hear was the patter of rain outside. Despite all that, I was still warm, but I figured that it was because I still had the toxin in my system. I groaned softly as I forced my heavy legs to swing out from under the covers and to the floor. I struggled to stand, but I made my way around the room leaning against the wall for support. My chambers had been completely cleaned out. I couldn’t find any of my armor, weapons, or any other clothes. I sighed as I made my way to the door in only my chest binding and trousers.

          When I stepped into the hall, I was met with a heavy silence and I started to panic as the rain outside continued to be the only thing I could hear. My heart raced as I stumbled over to the King’s chambers and threw the door open.

          “Keryna!” Ryan exclaimed as he shot up out of his chair by the fire.

          Before I could react, he was across the room and sweeping me off my feet. As soon as his arms locked around me, I began crying into his shoulder as I clung to him as hard as my weak and heavy limbs could. Ryan carried me back to his chair and he sat down so that he could hold me in his lap.

          “Hush now Little Dove. There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he whispered in my ear before tenderly kissing my cheek.

          “Where is everyone?” I asked once I could speak, and my voice sounded even more harsh than I thought it would.

          “They haven’t wanted to stay around since you were hurt,” he said sadly. “They called me crazy for holding on to you for so long. Gods my love, it’s so good to hear your voice again. I never thought I would.”

          My fingertips tingled slightly as he called me ‘love’ but I furrowed my brow and shook my head.

          “Who’s ‘they’? How long have I been asleep?” I murmured, and a pang of anxiety was thrown into my swirling emotions as I wondered who he had told about ‘us’ while I was out.

          “The entire Kingdom Keryna,” he said as if it were no big deal. “You’ve been asleep for two months. Everyone has been worried sick. Well, at first they were, but slowly they started to fade away and called me mad for waiting for you to wake up.”

          “What?” I gasped and my chest started to heave as I thought of him sitting at my bedside for two months, waiting for me.

          “Hush Keryna. Calm down. Your mother warned me that you could have some memory lapses,” Ryan cooed as he pet my hair and stared at me with pity in his big blue eyes. “What do you remember?”

          “I remember fighting in the Pit,” I began, and my head swam with images from the fight, but nothing felt concrete. “I was about to take down Nag’a, when she stabbed me with a blade she had snuck into the arena.”

          “I mean, some of that’s right,” he smiled sweetly. “You weren’t in the Pit. You were seated right beside me like you always are when an assassin came up to us and tried to kill me, but you had to go and step in front of the blade.”

          I looked at him, completely lost as my memory was telling me a completely different story.

          “But, it’s my job to step in the way my King,” I said firmly.

          “No,” he giggled. “As much as you think it’s your job to save me, you’re the Queen and your job is to keep me sane and give me a safe place to go when being King get’s to be too much.”

          My jaw dropped and my stomach started doing flips as the words came out of his mouth. He had to be joking. This was some kind of cruel trick he decided to play on me while I was asleep. But as I stared at him in disbelief, his eyes widened in horror as tears started to form.

          “Keryna,” Ryan said quietly, his voice wavering slightly. “Keryna, my love, please tell me you remember that. Do you remember our wedding? Or our honeymoon in the cabin? You’ve been my wife for two years; don’t you remember _something_?”

          Tears were flowing down his cheeks and I reached up and took his face in my hands as my heart broke. He let go of my waist and held my hands to him as he looked at me, silently pleading for me to remember something. My breath hitched as I looked around the room.

          It was his room as I remembered it being; beautiful tapestries lining the walls, a large bed pushed against the far wall, and our chairs sitting by the fire. But nothing brought to mind anything resembling the relationship he was claiming we had. I gulped hard and looked back to him, and his hands tightened around mine and he took a deep shuddering breath.

_“Do you remember me?”_ he begged and I could feel him starting to shake.

          I pressed my lips to his hard, and he gasped before returning the kiss. He released my hands and one held the back of my head as the other slid to the small of my back. He gasped and shuddered between kisses, but he kept coming back for more and I smiled as my body relaxed into him.

          “Of course I remember you Ryan,” I whispered and his breath hitched. “How could I ever forget you my King?”

          “I guess you’re right,” he laughed quietly. “You wouldn’t have let me touch you like this if you didn’t know me.”

          “No, I wouldn’t,” I smiled back before kissing his nose.

          “Gods I’ve missed that smile,” he sighed and sank back into the chair. “I’ve missed everything about your company my Queen. It’s been so hard to sleep in here alone knowing that you’re just across the hall, and meals are so much quieter without you there to liven everyone up.”

          Almost on cue, my stomach grumbled, and his familiar low chuckle sent shivers down my spine.

          “I’m sure you’re ready for real food and not that slurry they’ve been pouring down your throat,” Ryan grinned and made to get up, but I stopped him and straddled him.

          “Not yet,” I hissed as the shivers from his chuckle settled in between my hips. “It’s been two months and all I want right now is to hold you.”

          “Keryna,” he warned, but a smile pulled at his lips and I could see his eyes dilate as he picked up on what I wanted.

          “And I don’t remember a thing about our, marriage,” I hesitated saying the word, but as soon as it was out, I felt light and fuzzy. “So how about you spend some time reminding me of what we have?”

          “Keryna,” he hissed as I kissed his jaw and rolled my hips into his.

          “Yes, my King?” I purred in his ear, causing him to shudder as his hands made their way to my hips.

          “Your mother would kill me if I had sex with you as soon as you woke up,” he muttered, even though he was using his grip on me to roll my hips against him more.

          “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’ll back off right now if you ask me to my King,” I whispered as I gently bit my way down his neck.

          I should have been so sore that I wouldn’t even want to breathe, but as his hips bucked up into mine as he moved me, all I could feel was the burning desire that the friction was creating.

          “I can’t say no to you my Queen,” he hissed and suddenly stood up, lifting me as if I was weightless to him. “Especially if you’re offering me the chance to fuck you like it’s the first time again.”

          I giggled as I wrapped my legs around him and rolled my hips against his as he carried me to the bed. He growled and bit my neck as my action caused him to almost trip over his own feet. I moaned loudly as his warm tongue flicked across my skin and his hands tugged at my clothes. He unwrapped my legs from him before throwing me onto his mattress and motioning for me to take off my tunic.

          After yanking it over my head, I stared at the fabric in confusion. It was torn and looked like it had been rolled around in the dirt, and my mind stopped working as it suddenly felt heavy in my hands.

          “What is it my Queen?” Ryan asked, the worry in his tone clear.

          “Nothing,” I muttered as I continued to stare. “I just don’t remember putting on a shirt.”

          Suddenly I felt very heavy, like a thick winter blanket had been draped over my shoulders and I shook my head as my vision started to blur.

          “Keryna?” Ryan’s voice came through, but I couldn’t see him through the haze.

          “Ryan?” I gasped as the pain in my stomach and back returned.

          I reached out for him, but my arms felt like they were pinned to the mattress. I tried to move the rest of my body and was met with a similar sensation. When I opened my mouth to scream, all that came out was incoherent grunts and groans. I started to cry as the feeling of Ryan’s hands was fading from me and left behind a painful ache that managed to over shadow the sharp pain in my abdomen.

 

 

 

          “Ryan!” I was finally able to call out and my desperate thrashing caused me to almost throw myself out of the bed.

          “Dear Gods! Keryna!” my mother gasped as she caught me and leaned me back against the pillows.

          “Mother?” I panted in confusion as my heart raced and I looked frantically around the room for Ryan.

          But he was no where to be seen and I furrowed my brows as I saw that I was back in my fully furnished room. The fire was going, and I didn’t feel like there was cotton in my ears. I could hear my mother’s even breathing, someone else’s rapid breaths, and the distant sound of laughter and music.

          “Meg, go get Keryna some food please,” my mother said calmly, and I turned my attention to the startled elven woman standing by the fire. I was shocked to see my friend look at me in horror before nodding and practically running out the door.

          “Is this real?” I muttered as I clutched my blanket in my fists. “Am I dreaming again?”

          “This is real life my darling,” my mother assured me as she placed her hand on my forehead. “You were stabbed during your fit in the Pit with a dagger coated in nightshade. It was some really concentrated stuff, but with a little help, you held on and pulled through.”

          “You were having some intense dreams because of the fever from the toxin in your blood,” she continued as she pulled the covers away from me to inspect my belly. “You’ve been asleep for two days now, and I don’t know who’s been more worried about you; me or the King.”

          I couldn’t respond to anything she said, I just stared down at what could only be described as a purple sun. There was a deep purple, almost black, circle that took up almost my entire stomach and there were lighter purple rays that fanned out in every direction. The most startling part was the stark, white scar at the center that used to be the entry wound.

          “You have a similar one on your back where it came out the other side,” my mother whispered sadly as she ran her fingers across it. “It’s a little smaller because the blade barely poked through.”

          Her touch sent chills down my spine as the area was incredibly sensitive and my arms exploded with goosebumps. She laughed lightly at my reaction.

          “They will fade a bit over time,” she sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed. “But I doubt they will even go away entirely. They would be smaller now, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had to treat nightshade poisoning and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Luckily, his Majesty was there to help me and knows his way around the treatment process.”

          I thought of the two of them hovering over my body as they both desperately tried to bring me back from the edge, but I couldn’t ignore the hint of sarcasm that she had put behind ‘Majesty’.

          “Would you like to explain why he knows you on a first name basis?” I sighed as I shifted to sit upright in bed. “And why he’s fluent in a language that I’ve only ever heard _you_ speak before?”

          She sighed heavily and pursed her lips.

          “You wouldn’t remember, would you?” she said to herself. “You would have been too young.”

          “Mother,” I said seriously. “What don’t I remember?”

          “Years before the Mad King began his coup, he was just a commander of a small fort near our farm,” my mother sighed heavily and settled in for a long story. “You would have been ten at the time, and around then Leilan was having problems on the farm. So, to make more money, I made my herbalist hobby a career and started working at the fort.”

          “At the time, he was only Commander Haywood,” she continued with a small smirk. “And you’d hardly recognize him. He was relatively scrawny and hadn’t had the life drained from him yet. He was in his early twenties and one of the youngest commanders to grace the military. He was known for his cunning and resourcefulness, which is why he was stationed in the outskirts where bandits ran amok.”

          “My first personal interaction with the Commander was after a battle with a more vicious group of thieves,” she sighed sadly. “He and his men were torn to shreds, and he lost a lot of soldiers despite walking out of the fight with only a few cuts and a stab wound in his thigh. I was trying to treat him, but he kept insisting that I take care of his men first. While is concern was genuine, I could see the change in his eyes as he was realizing that he was going to have to be harder on the bandits.”

          “That was the first time I saw his darker side,” she huffed. “The night the Mad King was born was many months later. The bandits had figured out that the Commander was a serious threat and made a temporary alliance so that they could take him out. They almost did.”

          She paused and stared sadly at her dress as she picked at a string and I took the moment to try to remember what I had read about my King’s early years in the military. While I didn’t remember any mention of him serving in the outskirts, I did remember reading about the Mad King’s greatest defeat. He and his men were ambushed in the middle of the night, and no matter how hard he tried, the King couldn’t get his men to rally. They all ran in fear as they were slaughtered in their own base. Of the two hundred soldiers that served under him, only he and a dozen others survived the initial attack.

          “When he knocked on our door early the following morning, I thought we were doomed,” she muttered. “He and the handful of survivors had been through hell, and the worst hadn’t even started yet. The bandits had been using weapons coated in highly diluted nightshade, so they started to show symptoms on their way to our house. I treated them in the barn, so you wouldn’t have to see their agony, and the Commander had never looked so defeated. He watched his men continue to die as the poison took them. He was down four or five when he demanded I teach him how to treat it, so he could do it on his own if I wasn’t around.”

          “That’s when I taught him our secret language,” she nodded. “I taught him so that we could discuss his men’s health without alarming the wounded. After that, he was never the same. The bright, cheery young man had been brutally murdered and was replaced by a hard, almost unfeeling soldier that started to do anything he could to control the bandits, including kill on sight. The final straw was when King Michael refused to send him more than fifty men to replace his lost men. He raged on for days about how he couldn’t protect us with only fifty men.”

          She took a deep breath as she finished her story and I sank back into the pillows as I let it all settle in. His fierce protectiveness over the people and his men, and his compulsive need to retain control over the things he owned all started to make sense. Even his promise to kill anyone that took me from him looked different in this new light. My hands ache to hold him as the fire popped lightly and my mother calmly turned to look at the flame.

          “He told me he’s been teaching you how to use your magic,” she smiled. “He said you’ve gotten pretty good at it, even if you still let some emotions slip through.”

          “What else did he tell you?” I muttered and gulped hard as I remembered their argument at the Pit.

          “He told me about your relationship,” she smirked before leaning in to kiss my forehead. “That being forced to be together ultimately brought you together and that my little one is now the Mad King’s lover. I told you that your new rank would bring in interesting men.”

          “Mother,” I sighed. “Please, I get it. You called it. But I need to know something. Are you okay with it?”

          “Absolutely,” she said immediately and I raised an eyebrow. “Not only have you won his trust but I saw the way he reacted when you were stabbed. He was over that rail and running to you before Kerry could even shout for guards. He made a big show of ripping Nag’a away from you and ordering guards around while you swayed and stared at your stomach, but the second you called for him, his head snapped to you. The moment you started to fade when he was putting you onto the back of his horse, I saw the panic in his eyes. He held you to him not like a King who was trying to save his guard, but like a man who was about to lose one of the most important things in his life.”

          I sniffled as a big tear fell down my cheek and onto the blanket, and when I took a deep breath something on my chest caught my eye. I reached up and followed two silver chains that led from my neck to something tucked into my chest binding. I started to pull it out but stopped dead when I saw the top of a teardrop shaped piece of amber. I didn’t need to see the rest of it to know what it was, so I quickly shoved it back into place.

          “I found it one day while cleaning out some of your things,” my mother giggled evilly as I felt my cheeks flush. “I brought it along just to tease you, but after what his Majesty told me, I figured you’d actually need it.”

          “Thank you, I guess,” I whispered. “You know you can’t tell anyone right?”

          “He made that very clear my darling,” she smiled.

          “Where is he anyway?” I asked as a roar of laughter and cheering wafted in through the open window.

          “He’s down at the feast,” my mother said and added seriously. “Now don’t get any ideas. You need to stay in bed. He’s got nearly a dozen men watching him in your absence. He’ll be fine. _He’s_ not running around without armor.”

          “I couldn’t move!” I snapped, and a wide grin spread across her face. “Arthur had a hold of me and I needed to get out so that I could force feed Gereth some fucking dirt! Besides, I don’t think that piece of shit armor would have done anything against her blade.”

          “I know my darling,” she said sweetly as Meg reentered the room with a steaming bowl. “I’m going to head down to the fair grounds. The feast has only just started, so he can’t exactly leave now or it will be _very_ obvious that you’re more than just a guard, but I’ll tell him that you’re awake and appear to be perfectly fine mentally.”

          “Thank you, Mother,” I sighed heavily, my arms already itching to hold him.

          “Mind if I join you Mrs. Feelah?” Meg asked as she set the bowl of broth in front of me and was sure not to meet my eyes.

          “If you want,” my mother shrugged. “Now that she’s awake and talking clearly, Keryna is no longer in any danger.”

          “Can’t I get something more substantial?” I whined as I stirred the broth with my spoon.

          “Sorry Keryna,” Meg said with a sheepish frown. “All the chefs are down at the festival cooking for the feast. Save for a handful of servants, there’s no one else in the castle to cook.”

          “You need to take it easy anyway,” My mother ordered. “That blade went through your stomach, and while we pumped you full of as many strong healing potions as we could, it still needs to recover.”

          I grumbled as the two women giggled and left. I sat in silence as I played with my food and listen to the feast in the distance. I thought of Ryan there, twitching nervously as he did his best to maintain his composure and not look like he was worrying about me.

          My stomach growled loudly as it too was wanting more to eat. I hadn’t eaten in three days and all I got was soup? Not even a soup with chunks! I whined as a combination of longing to see Ryan and my disappointing meal made my whole body ache. There was another loud roar of laughter from the fair grounds and I groaned even more. I had never missed a Spring Harvest, and now I was being forced to listen to the one I would be missing.

          I pursed my lips and set aside the bowl of soup before throwing off the covers and wobbling into my bathing room. Injured or not, I was more than capable of going to the festival, especially if all I was going to do was sit next to my King while he watched over the feast. Besides, there was a piece of me that wanted to go out there and show whoever had paid Nag’a to kill me that they had failed. I wasn’t dead, and I definitely wasn’t going to let them get to Ryan.

          My leg ached slightly as my hip reminded me that it too was hurt during my fight, but it only made me limp slightly. Now that I was out from under the covers, the cool night air chilled my still feverish body. My wounds were too sensitive to wear my dress armor, or even my daily armor as the metal chest plates would only rub against me. So I pulled on a tunic and my black leather chest piece, knowing that it fit me in a way that would irritate my torso less. Next was all the leg trimmings that went with my dress armor and the open tartan skirt that I wore with my daily set. I tossed on my weapons belt and the wolf tail that I had attached to a clip so that I could wear it when I wanted. I was still shivering under all this clothing, and grinned as I finally got to wear the cloak I had made with the wolf pelt from our hunting trip.

          I stepped in front of the mirror and smirked at my regal appearance. The black cloak with white fur shoulders, black leather armor, and tartan skirt were absolutely something the Mad King would wear.

_Or his Queen._

          I stopped and admired myself as my fever dream crept back into my thoughts. The idea of being his Queen didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, and as I stood in front of the mirror, I definitely looked the part of a Mad Queen. When I finally looked up to check my hair, I gasped and stepped away from the mirror. Now I understood why Meg couldn’t look at my face.

          My pale violet eyes stared back at me but were intensified by the bags under my eyes that had darkened, and the toxin had left purple tendrils reaching out from my eye sockets like rivulets of corrupted blood.

          Once I had tamed my hair into a small pony tail I turned to leave and was met with my mother’s angry glare.

          “I knew you’d try something,” she grumbled while Meg stifled a laugh behind her.

          “And look at you!” my mother continued as she motioned towards my outfit.

          “It’s what’s comfortable!” I snapped back.

          “Your bed is what’s comfortable,” she hissed and snapped her fingers. “Now take all that off and get back in bed!”

          “But Mom,” I whined, and Meg finally lost her composure and walked away as she broke down into giggles.

          “Do what I say Keryna Stormborne,” she barked and I obediently started to pull my armor off. “You can blatantly disregard my orders when you’re _actually_ Queen, but until then you need to get in that damn bed and stop acting like one.”

          “Mom!” I shrieked over Meg’s hysterical laughter. “That is not at all what is going on between us! I am not his Queen, nor will I ever be.”

          “So you’ll stand by and be okay when they eventually force him to marry?” she retorted, and nodded when my voice caught in my throat and anger flared in my eyes. “That’s what I thought. Now get back into bed your future Highness.”

          “Mom,” I snarled as I grabbed her arm and yanked her close. “It won’t happen. He doesn’t want a Queen, and I don’t want to _be_ Queen. You said he warned you that you can’t tell anyone, but you can’t go saying things like that even when we’re alone, especially near an open window.”

          “Keryna,” he said calmly as she pulled her arm from my grip. “I’m sorry, you’re right and I need to watch myself better, but they will force a Queen on him. He can fight it for as long as he wants, but he’s only getting older and the window for children is closing. The council is going to wear down his excuses until he has nothing to hide behind, and then there will be noble daughters all over this castle vying for his favor. Do you really mean to tell me that you don’t want to be Queen bad enough that you’ll let someone else sleep with him?”

          I felt my breath hitch as the jealous anger returned and I did my best to ignore the scene my mother was painting. My hands clenched as I thought of him talking to someone else the way he talked to me.

          “Why are you always right?” I grumbled through my angry trembling.

          “Because I’ve been here little one,” she said softly as she pulled my forehead to her lips. “Your father was someone I, by all means, shouldn’t have been with but we were happy. When the time came, and his family put the pressure on him to marry, I stepped aside. I didn’t want to be a general’s wife and he didn’t want to put me through the worry that came with his position. So I let him go, and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

          “Mom,” I murmured, hand reaching up to wipe away her tears. She quickly took it and kissed my knuckles.

          “I know you little one,” he said with a weak smile. “I can tell that you’re in love just don’t let his position scare you away. I can guarantee that being his Queen is far better than wishing you had never let go.”


	16. Confession

          After crying into each other’s shoulders, Mother helped me undress and made me swear not to try and leave again. I relented and complained to myself the entire time I drank the soup Meg had brought me. After the surprisingly filling meal, I laid back down and tried to rest but my mind was racing as my mother’s words settled into my mind.

          That was the most she’s ever shared about my father and considering the parallels between her relationship with him and mine with Ryan, I was finally starting to understand why she had been so adamant that I tell her if we were a couple. She must have seen this coming from a mile away and wanted to spare me the heartache she’s been living with for nearly twenty-seven years. I tried to imagine myself in her shoes and what it would be like to leave Ryan, only to find out I was pregnant and was forced to marry a man who resented everything that child represented.

          The fire popped and there was a loud _whoosh_ as my anger flared up, not only because I could never live with a man like my step-father, but also because I would never leave Ryan’s side. My mother’s comments about the hardships that came with being Queen were far better than the pain that letting him go would bring me also hit me hard. I didn’t want to be Queen, but even more than that I _didn’t_ want to be his mistress nor did I want to share him.

          I shook my head as I sat up in bed. He wouldn’t do that to me. He would have talked me into being Queen before he let anyone else take the title. I shook my head again as I realized that I was seriously planning on becoming Queen.

_But Mom was right. They would force him eventually, and I need to be ready for that._

          I got out of bed to close the windows and saw that I had spent several hours lost in thought. My arms were beginning to prickle with goosebumps as the cool night air nipped at my still feverish skin, so I wandered over to the fire, my mind still consumed with the mix of emotions that were swirling around. I let my head rest against the cool stone of the fireplace and sighed as even the flames couldn’t chase the chill away.

          I played the dream over in my mind again and smiled as I remembered something else that was said. My fingertips tingled again as I remembered the sound of Ryan calling me ‘Love’. We haven’t said the word outside of referring to each other as lovers, like it was too strong a word to use in reference of our feelings. I’d never thought about it, but as I stared into the fire and longed to feel his arms around my waist I knew it was true. I loved Ryan. I love the King with all my heart and soul. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms every night for the rest of time and to spend every night curled up by the fire with him. I could tolerate being Queen, as long as he was there to love me back.

          The sound of heavy footsteps coming from the end of the hall pulled me out of my thoughts. I froze for a moment trying to figure out who it was, but when the footsteps practically broke into sprint after rounding the corner, I knew exactly who was coming to my room. I barely had time to push myself away from the wall before Ryan all by threw open the door, eyes bright with hope as he immediately zeroed in on the bed.

          “Ryan,” I said, meaning to sound firm but it came out as a breathless sigh.

          His head snapped to me and the wave of relief that washed over him made me smile weakly. He was across the room in two strides and he took in a quick, shuddering breath as he buried his face into my neck. His arms wrapped around me as tightly as he could without hurting me and his hand gripped the back of my head firmly as I copied his staggered breath. His chest shook and tears fell from my eyes as he sobbed quietly.

          “Keryna,” he whimpered. “Gods Keryna. I thought I lost you.”

          “I’m right here Ryan,” I whispered back as I tried to return his embrace with equal strength. “I promised you I’d never leave and I meant it.”

          He took a deep, quaking breath and a loud sob broke through causing him to shudder against me. I turned my head and kissed his temple before nuzzling my way to his ear.

          “It’s okay Ryan,” I murmured, making his breath hitch. “I’m okay. You saved me and I’m right here. I love you.”

          The words left my lips before I could process what I was doing. All I wanted was to make him stop crying, and the thoughts were still fresh in my mind, but I didn’t think I was ready to say it out loud. They felt odd and made my lips tingle, but it came out so naturally that I didn’t want to back track. He pulled away from my neck but only far enough that he could look me in the eyes. His were blood shot and puffy from crying, but his beautiful blue eyes were clear as he focused in on me like he was trying to figure out what I said.

          “I love you.”

          I repeated myself and something broke in him. For a fraction of a second I was terrified that I had moved too far, that he didn’t feel that strongly towards me despite all he’s done to make me believe otherwise. Then I saw the flood of emotions that forced more tears down his wet cheeks, and my heart soared as I realized what broke was that last bit of Mad King that was keeping him from truly opening up.

          “I love you too,” he whispered back, smile spreading across his face like wildfire. “Gods I love you so much.”

          I squeaked and giggled as he lifted me off my feet and spun me around. When he set me back down, his lips immediately crashed into mine and he started kissing me with a hunger that I was more than happy to reciprocate. I took his face in my hands while his hands started to trail across my body agonizingly slow, like memorizing every curve of my body was a matter of life and death. I tangled both hands into his hair and was about to nibble on his lip when his wandering fingers gently brushed the fresh scar on my back.

          My eyelids flashed white as every nerve in my body reacted to the touch and the wave of sensation pulled a surprised and uncontrolled moan from my throat. Ryan’s assault on my mouth halted as he stood frozen, trying to figure out what happened. I took the moment to listen to my surroundings, making sure I hadn’t attracted any attention, but all I could hear was our heavy breathing and his racing heart.

          “Did-did I hurt you?” he asked hesitantly like half way through the thought he realized that ‘hurt’ wouldn’t have made me moan like that.

          “No,” I said, my voice quivering as the tingles settle in my fingers and toes. “No, I’m fine. They’re just… Just really sensitive.”

          A crooked smile crept onto his face and I narrowed my eyes as I tried to piece together what was going through his mind.

          “I was so relieved to hear that you were awake I had forgotten everything else your mother said,” he said, leaning forward so that your lips barely brushed together as he continued. “There are two reactions to nightshade: either your scars are numb or hyper sensitive. You’ve apparently developed the sensitivity. We’ll have to readjust your armor once you’re as healed as you can be, because that sensitivity is never going away.”

          “Mom said it would fade,” I murmured as his hand ghosted around the edge of the scar on my back and it was still enough to make my eyelids flutter.

          “It will,” he reaffirmed. “But it will still be too much for the chest plates you have now. The curve of the plate will only rub against it, and as much as I would enjoy watching you squirm and try not to moan every time you move, I imagine you would prefer not to.”

          “Ryan,” I scolded, trying to push away from him but he held firm while a playful grin spread across his face.

          “What?” he hummed, letting his forehead rest against mine. “I can’t enjoy listening to your pleasure? I haven’t heard you get that loud since our hunting trip, and I have to admit: I missed it and after almost losing you, I’m never passing up the opportunity to hear it again.”

          “Ryan,” I said in surprise with a nervous giggle. “It’ll be hard to keep ‘us’ a secret with that plan. We can hardly share a bed for a decent night’s sleep as is, where are we going to find the privacy required to be that kind of intimate.”

          I was immediately alarmed and excited by his low chuckle and the way he gently kissed me. It was soft and sweet, but I could feel the undercurrent of hunger and desire that made my lips tingle with electricity. I’m sure he had intended for the kiss to be quick so that he could explain himself but when he tired to pull away, I found myself pulling him in for more. I was breathless and my knees were threatening to give out from under me by the time we pulled away from each other.

          “When we get to the bottom of this conspiracy, I’m not hiding behind the Mad King anymore,” he said with a heavy sigh, like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders. “The iron fist isn’t working anymore, and it’s suffocating the people. I’ve known this for a while, but with everything that has happened this year, I was too afraid to let up. I was afraid that if I relaxed, I would become an easy target. But now, I have you to watch my back. I have you to help me through my fears.”

          Ryan was going to say more, but I cut him off with another kiss. He accepted it at first, smiling into my lips as I tried not to cry at what he was insinuating. His voice dropped to just below a whisper as he tried to continue through my affection and stave off his own desires.

          “I’m not going to hide ‘us’. The whole Kingdom will know. They’ll see how much you’ve changed me. And they’ll stop coming for me. And then we can relax. And _just be happy together.”_

          With the last statement the dam burst, and he let out an exasperated sigh before giving in to his needs. One hand tangled into my hair and the other roughly grabbed my good hip, lifting me up so that he could carry me to the bed. I moaned at his rough touch and wrapped my legs around his waist, my need to be closer to him drowning out my aching hip. I bit his lip as he laid me down on the bed and my body shuddered in response to the low, throaty moan it pulled from him. Ryan carefully lifted me up and positioned me farther onto the bed, making room so that he could crawl on top of me after he took off his armor.

          I bit my lip as he fumbled with the clasps of his cloak, eyes not once leaving my body as he looked at me with a reverence I had never seen before. My heart sank slightly as I realized why. Ryan thought he had lost me. He thought I was dying and that he would never get this chance again, and now I was laid out on the bed waiting for him like a gift from the Gods. My hip was pulsing with my racing heart, but all I felt was overwhelming desire and love for my King.

          Finally the thick red cloak fell to the floor, the metal clasps and chains clattering loudly on the stone floor as he deftly loosened and removed his leather chest piece. I sat up on my elbows and watched him practically rip off his armor, each piece hitting the floor with loud thuds. My eyes shot open as a thought broke through the haze of lust that had descended on my mind.

          “What about Kerry?” I hissed as my blood ran cold. “Or Meg? _Or my mother?”_

          “The ladies are still at the feast,” he breathed as his kilt fell to the floor. “Neither of them looked like they were leaving anytime soon.”

          “As for Kerry,” he murmured as he slowly ran his hands along my thighs. “After planning the fight and the festival, he wanted a vacation. He stuck around while you were indisposed but left as soon as he heard you were awake. His ship set sail about an hour ago.”

          He bent down low, his breath warm on my belly as he carefully kissed around my purple scar. I whimpered in response, the gentle touch tickling my sensitive skin and sending a hot wave of sensation through my body. His hands came up my sides as he spread soft kisses across the expanse of the sun on my stomach, occasionally letting his tongue drag across me before blowing on the wet skin. I moaned loudly as he teased me.

          “You’re all mine tonight Little Dove,” he purred happily before nipping at the flesh just above my waistband. “No one is going to keep me from you. Not Kerry. Not Nady’a. Not Nag’a.”

          The last name came out with enough venom to kill an entire army and the dark shadow of the Mad King descended over his lustful gaze as he ran his fingers across the white scar above my bellybutton. I couldn’t tell if the shudder that made my arms weak was from his touch, or the way he was looking at my belly.

          He let out a heavy sigh and his eyes fluttered before the shadow faded away and the lust in his eyes returned. Ryan yanked my pants down, still making sure not to bother my hip as he took my panties with them. He stood up and stared at me, taking me in before pulling his tunic off. His gaze never left my now exposed lower half and I smiled as I realized something: He’s never seen me fully naked before. I reached behind me and unlaced my chest binding and tossing it at his bare chest.

          The wanting whimper he gave me as his eyes slowly made their way up my body made me giggle. I slowly lifted my leg, letting my foot trail up his thigh as my skin prickled from his attention. For a moment I was self-conscious about my nightshade scars and worried that they might turn him away like the memory of how I got them would bring him down from the euphoric high we were both feeling. All my concerns melted away when his eyes caught sight of the amulet around my neck, widened with shock, and then snapped up to meet mine with a combination of joy and desire that made me grin.

          “I was starting to wonder why you weren’t putting up any resistance to this,” he said breathlessly as he motioned for me to rest among the pillows.

          “You were going to continue without it?” I teased, knowing full well that he would have stopped before getting to that point.

          “Of course not,” he huffed with a small smile, eyes watching me as I intentionally crawled up my bed slowly and lowered myself down into the pillows like I had not a care in the world.

          My heart stopped as his trousers fell to the floor, the last bit of clothing between us being left behind and the reality of the situation dawned on me. _I was about to make love to the King._

_And I couldn’t be any happier._

          He kissed his way up my body and breathy moans fell from my lips as he slowly positioned himself between my legs. He avoided my hip and decided instead to let a hand slip between my legs as he bit along my collarbone. I sucked in a quick lungful of air as his fingers explored this new territory. With all the stress of decoding his notes and our inability to sleep without the other, anything intimate had been limited to making out and fondling through clothes. This is why white patches bloomed behind my eyelids as one finger tentatively pushed itself inside me. I instinctively tried to suppress my moan, and it came out as a choked groan that was accompanied by his own whimper of pleasure as he felt my walls tighten around his finger.

          “Don’t hold back Keryna. Consider it an order from your King,” he hissed before biting my earlobe.

          He groaned happily as the combination of his slow fingering and teasing mouth practically made me scream. I threw my arms around his shoulders and dug in as he inserted another finger. My mouth found his and Ryan eagerly swallowed my moans as he gradually picked up the pace. His breath was ragged with desire and I could feel the waves of need come off him as he slowly pulled out and carefully pulled my injured leg up and around his hips.

          “Is this okay? Do you want this?” he asked, voice thick with want as he looked down at me with hooded eyes.

          “Yes,” I replied. “Gods yes.”

          My eyes rolled back as he thrust forward, stopping once to make sure I was okay before continuing until our hips were flush together. It was obvious neither of us were ‘in practice’ because every slight movement reduced us to moans and whimpers, words failing us as we tried to adjust to the feeling of each other. Once Ryan started to work into a rhythm, he regained his boldness and started marking my shoulders and chest with his teeth. It was all I could do to cling to him, my nails digging into his back with one hand and the other tangled into his hair. For a brief moment I wondered where his crown was, but his grip on my hips changed and pulled me away from that thought as he pinned me to the mattress.

          I swore loudly as his grip didn’t allow me to move with his thrusts and he pushed himself deeper into me. I pulled his hair and groaned with pleasure as he cursed into my neck where he was leaving a hickey. His paced picked up more, and there was something about the way he was groaning and holding me that told me he was holding something back. I felt my chest grow light from the pleasurable extasy that suddenly filled my body when I realized he was going easy on me because of my injuries. I needed what he was holding back. I had to feel every ounce of desire he felt towards me so badly that my bones ached with need. I didn’t feel any pain in my hip, only the tight grip Ryan held me down with, and my stomach and back were tingling with my building climax. I needed him to give me his all, no matter how I would feel afterwards.

          “Ryan,” I whispered in his ear and I felt him tremble from my tone. “You’re holding out on me. I can feel it.”

          “I don’t want to irritate your hip any more than I already am,” he said breathlessly as he slowed down so that we could speak clearly.

          “I don’t care. Don’t hold back. Consider it an order,” I growled, returning his words back to him.

          “Gods Keryna,” he huffed like I had knocked the wind out of him. “As much as I want to, your mother is already going to have my head for this. I don’t want to give her a reason to be even angrier than she already will be.”

          “I’ll deal with her,” I grinned wolfishly. “You just fuck me like you want to and make me come.”

          Ryan’s arm shook as my words made him weak and almost collapsed on top of me, but he quickly recovered and shifted us around. Flipping us over, he stared up at me for a moment, memorizing how I looked straddling his hips so that I could ride him before bucking roughly up into me. I yelped with pleasure as he dug his nails into my hips and bounced me on his cock. The look of pure bliss on his face and the sound of our hips coming together was enough to bring me to the edge.

          “Ryan!” I moaned loudly as I tipped over the edge.

          I clung to his wrists for balance as I shook and begged for more. He matched my moans and could barely keep his eyes open as he thrust through my orgasm, my name falling from his mouth like it was a desperate prayer. His movements stuttered and I heard his foot lose purchase, sliding across the bedspread as he tensed then shook with his own climax. I groaned loudly as he filled me, each twitch of his cock making the warm pressure inside of me more pleasurable.

          I sat down on him, resting my hands on his stomach as I waited for my legs to be ready to pull me off him. His hand came up and cupped my cheek, making me realize that I was grinning from ear to ear. When I looked up at him, he was wearing a matching smile and his eyes were full of blissful joy and love. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, staring into each other’s eyes while we basked in the afterglow, but eventually I had to move because my hip was starting to break through my euphoria.

          I hissed slightly as I sat up and flopped onto the bed beside Ryan. I had barely settled before he was wrapping me in the blankets and holding me in his arms, and for awhile the only sounds were of the crackling fire and our soft kisses. Both of us were tired and every blink was a struggle to maintain alertness, but we refused to let this moment end. I never wanted it to end.

          I was grateful that Ryan fell asleep first, because I didn’t want him to see the tears that had formed in my eyes. I was laid out on my stomach with his head resting on my shoulder blade and one arm slung around my waist protectively. He was practically laying on top of me, guarding me from anyone who might sneak in to try and finish the job. My brain reminded me that I was supposed to be protecting him, but my body made no attempt to change our position. I wanted this every night. I wanted to sleep peacefully in his arms without having to look over our shoulders and jumping at every shadow.

          I thought back to what he had said earlier, about not hiding our relationship and showing the kingdom that he wasn’t the tyrannical monster so many of them believed he was, and I sank further into the bed with a happy sigh. My hand found his and I laced our fingers together as a tear slid down my cheek.

          In that moment, everything was perfect. Even if it was just for the night.


	17. Time for Change

          The next morning I woke up to an empty bed and immediately began to panic. I shot up in bed and my chest ached with terror as I saw that all of Ryan’s clothes were gone.

          “Relax little one,” my mother’s voice said from the fireplace. “He had to go do his rounds and some other Kingly things. He knows you still need to rest, especially after last night, so he left quietly as not to wake you.”

          I felt my heart sink as I looked up my mother sheepishly, pulling the blanket up to my chin to cover all the evidence of my evening with Ryan, but I could tell by the disapproving glare I was getting that she had already seen all the hickeys and bite marks that littered my skin. She stood from her chair and silently walked over to the bed before tugging the blanket from my hands and inspecting my nightshade scars. I felt my cheeks bloom as she clicked her tongue at the crescents that marked my hips from Ryan’s hands.

          “I leave you alone for one night, and he goes and ruins all the progress your hip had been making,” she grumbled.

          “My hip doesn’t hurt,” I muttered back. “It actually feels pretty good.”

          I shifted my weight around, testing my hip’s movement as best I could from my sitting position. My mother looked up at me from under her eyelashes with a withering look.

          “You both should have known better,” he huffed. “I can’t believe I had to scold the King of the realm, and I can’t believe that he looked like an upset puppy the entire time.”

          I couldn’t help but smile at the image of Ryan, dressed and ready to start his day, being lectured by my mother about upsetting my hip just so we could be close again. I tried to imagine him looking sheepish like she was describing, but it wasn’t working and it made me giggle.

          “Keryna,”my mother said seriously. “I hope you got it out of your system last night, because you really do need your rest or you’ll take forever to heal and it’ll be several more days until you can be up and at full health.”

          “What about right now?” I asked as I looked out the window. “Today is open court. Could I go and be with him for that? It’ll just be me standing next to the throne for a few hours.”

          There was silence as she stared off into space and thought for a while. She thought about it long enough that I started to settle back into my bed, but she gave me a heavy sigh followed by a short laugh.

          “That should be fine,” she relented and smiled as my face lit up. “You really should make a public appearance anyway. Everyone is talking about you like you’re a legend. I think it would be good for the kingdom to see you in person rather than continue talking about you like you’re a mythical creature.”

I wasted no time putting on the armor set I had put together yesterday, opting to forego the cloak today as I wasn’t as chilled from my fever. I stopped in front of the mirror to make sure I didn’t have any of Ryan’s love marks showing and I paused to look at my eyes. The black had faded slightly, but I still looked like I had black makeup smeared around my eye sockets. Once my mother gave me one last go over, I made my way down to the throne room where I knew Ryan and the rest of the council would be hearing the questions and concerns of the people.

          Servants gave me a wide birth and made no attempt to hide their stares. I was used to this reaction when following Ryan around, but that was _because_ of Ryan and there was something different in their eyes. Awe and wonder replaced the caution and apprehension that I was used to, and I made sure to smile when I would meet their gaze. I felt so powerful, and any anxiety of facing the people faded quickly. I was also filled with a little hope. Maybe Ryan’s plan to make our relationship public would work. No one would want to hurt a legend, even if she’s with the Mad King and while his reputation was hurting me, maybe my growing status as a folk hero could save us.

          I could hear Ryan’s voice as I approached the throne room and my heart skipped a beat. After almost two months together, being separated like this felt almost like torture to me. Like anything could happen to him while I was away. The guards to the back entrance to the room stood at attention and made like they were going to bar my entrance until they got a good look at me. I smiled at them as a look of wonder spread across their faces along with wide smiles.

          “Keryna,” One of them said breathlessly. “It’s true. You’re alive.”

          “I’d say ‘alive and well’ but I’m still a little sore,” I joked, making their faces light up more. “But I’m not sore enough to skirt my duties any longer, so if you don’t mind, I have a King to protect.”

          They both nodded furiously and stepped aside and let me pass by. I couldn’t help but notice that there were servants hiding in the alcoves where their service entrances were along the edges of the hall, all of them straining to get a good look at me as I confidently marched up to where my King and the council were sitting. The room was already quiet as a lower level merchant pleaded with the King to increase patrols to the west where bandits have always been a problem, but he fell totally silent as I appeared next to the throne and assumed my usual place just behind the King.

          The weight of everyone’s attention weighed on me like a ton of bricks, but all I did was smile at the merchant and motion for him to continue.

          “Please, don’t let me stop you,” I said kindly as the King turned to see what had gotten everyone’s attention.

          “Shouldn’t you be in bed or something?” he asked, fully facing me so that no one could see the overjoyed look in his eyes as he saw me standing beside him again.

          “I’ve spent most of the last three days in bed,” I smirked and a soft laugh rolled through the room.

          “Fair enough. As long as you think you can keep up with me, I won’t stop you,” he shrugged and turned back to the crowd. “As far as patrols are concerned, I’ve been planning on upping the quantity of men in the area anyway, now I have all the proof I need to make it reality. Thank you for bringing this to everyone’s attention. It will be resolved soon.”

          But the man’s attention was so focused on me that he barely registered what the King had said. He blinked a few times when I raised an eyebrow at him then he quickly stammered out thanks and bowed before fleeing back into the dispersing crowd. The King turned his gaze up to me, making it look lazy and tired, but his eyes glittered with humor.

          “You’ve gathered quite the following,” he hummed.

          “So I’ve been told,” I smiled back. “Mother tells me that I’ve become a legend.”

          “That’s putting it lightly,” Councilman Mery’an chuckled. “I was in a tavern last night and the musicians were actively composing a song about your strength and tenacity.”

          “That I’ll have to hear,” I grinned.

          “You sent her to the Pit to knock her down a few rungs, and she came out a fucking hero,” Councilwoman Henderson smiled sweetly as she eyed me.

          “I know,” the King said softly as he looked up at me with a look that was so close to admiration that I glanced around to see if anyone else was seeing it.

          “Careful your Majesty,” Councilwoman Ciecil smirked. “You almost look impressed right now. Enamored even.”

          That got his attention and he quickly sat straight up and plastered a scowl on his face as he turned to look at her. My eyebrows shot up as I watched him flounder and the other council members teased him. Everyone except Lancaster.

          “What did I miss?” I asked to the council as a whole. “I leave for a few days and suddenly we’re allowed to take pot shots at the King?”

          “No,” Ryan snapped as he whipped around and gave me an all too real, disapproving glare. His eyes screamed ‘not yet’ and I immediately felt guilty for teasing him.

          “He won’t admit it, but he has been very invested in your health,” Henderson hummed, giving Ryan a very knowing look that made my heart stop.

          “I don’t want to have to replace her,” the King said quickly. “And nightshade isn’t a good way for anyone to go, especially someone as loyal to me as Keryna. Now if you’ll all please hope off my ass, we have things we need to talk about now that Keryna is with us again.”

          The council nodded respectfully and started to talk among themselves as we waited for the last of the common folk to leave the throne room. I thought I had gotten here in time for more of open court, but either there weren’t that many people who wanted an audience with the King or everyone left to go spread the word of my return. I watched the people leave when a low grumble caught my attention.

          When I looked down at Ryan he was sunk deep in his throne, chewing on his thumb angrily and I knew he was panicking over dropping the ball and letting his feelings for me be seen. I cleared my throat quietly to get his attention and his eyes snapped up to me, anger and fear swirling in his eyes and I felt a pang of guilt. I couldn’t help him, or it would be even more obvious, so I glanced around before giving him a soft smile. His Adam’s apple bobbed and I watched him relax enough that he stopped chewing and some of the fear faded. He still looked concerned, but I silently reminded him that I would be there for him no matter what happened and it clearly helped him calm down.

          “Keryna,” he said smoothly after the main doors closed and the council was left alone. “Sit in Kerry’s seat. Your mother continues to remind me that you need rest, no matter how much you object, but we do need to talk about what happened and what to do with Nag’a.”

          I bowed politely and took a seat in the empty chair to his right as the councilmembers moved into seats across from us so that we could talk face to face. I sighed as my hip relaxed and I felt the ache that had lessened since yesterday but was still persistent. It felt odd sitting beside him, rather than standing behind him like usual, but I was grateful that he was thinking of my comfort.

          “Now that we’re comfortable, time to get down to it,” he sighed heavily and gave me a sympathetic look. “What happened in the Pit Keryna?”

          “I’m not sure,” I shrugged. “I didn’t even see the dagger until it was through me. Where she got it, or hid it, is beyond me. All I know is she had a poison pill that I managed to keep her from taking and that she was dumb enough to talk before you pulled her away.”

          “What did she say?” Lancaster asked, almost too quickly.

          “She said it would be easier to get to him once I was out of the way,” I said and my heart sank as I remembered that Ryan was very much still in danger, even more so while I wasn’t at peak performance.

          Silence fell over the table while they mulled over my words, and I saw Ryan’s hands clenched as he thought about the implications. It probably never occurred to him that I would have a huge target on my back just so that he would be an easier target.

          “Did she give you any hints as to who she’s working for?” Ciecil asked after a few moments.

          “No,” I shook my head. “The only thing she said before his Majesty stepped in was what I just told you.”

          “You were friends with her during training, is there any reason you could think of as to why she would turn on the King?” Mery’an added.

          “Not that I can think of,” I said after a few moments of thought. “It’s also been almost a decade since I last talked to her. Who knows what she got into while she was up north. The only reason I can think of is the same reason _most_ people would want him dead for. Because he’s the Mad King.”

          I hated saying it, but it was the truth. Everyone winced as I said it and I saw Ryan sag in his throne slightly. I knew what conversation I just opened the floor to, and I was hoping that they wouldn’t go there and save it for another day. But my hope had been misplaced.

          “We need to come up with ways to endear you to the people,” Councilman Mery’an said slowly, knowing he was broaching on a touchy subject.

          “Is it even possible anymore?” Lancaster spat. “His iron fist and fear tactics have gone as far as to put Keryna’s life in immediate danger just so the people can be rid of him. It was one thing when we thought having a guard would be enough to deter the dissenting, but clearly they will do anything to be rid of him.”

          The council descended into a loud argument, but I quietly turned to Ryan to gage his feelings. My heart broke as I saw him with his face in one hand, the other white knuckled around the arm of his throne. Even through his hand I could see that his face was screwed into a pained grimace. After weeks of improvement, he was starting to fall back into his pit of despair. I remembered something that he had told me weeks ago, that I was the only thing keeping him from slipping back into madness, and I knew I needed to help him now. Council present or not, I needed to pull him back before it was too late.

          I glance at the four people across from us and decided that they were caught up in their argument enough to get away with some contact. I reached out and gently laid my hand on Ryan’s bicep. He jumped and for a moment gave me the crazed look that had so terrified me when he held his sword to my throat and threatened my life. He inhaled sharply as he realized what he was doing and his body shuddered as he focused on my eyes and tried to pull himself back from the edge. His hand shifted slightly from the arm of his throne and I could tell that he wanted to reach out and touch me, but we weren’t alone and I let my hand fall from his arm as the swirling blue haze stilled in his eyes. He took a deep breath before looking at the council. Ryan cleared his throat loudly and pulled their attention back to him.

          “I’d like to think that there are still some things about me that could be redeeming in the public eye,” he said as he ran hit thumb across the pads of his fingertips. “But my reputation has left me… _secluded_ from the people and I’m not sure what I could do to change that.”

          For a minute, the council sat in stunned silence as the King didn’t immediately shut down their attempts to ‘make him look weak’. They shared a glance, and even Lancaster sat with his mouth agape without comment as the others tried to formulate the things they were just arguing over.

          “Well,” Mery’an began, clearly unsure of how to approach this considering his past resistance. “There is always the Queen option. That would definitely show the people that you’re more human than monster.”

          “It would also put some innocent woman in danger if the people still don’t warm up,” he muttered as he looked at me, but I could tell he wasn’t focused on me and only staring in my direction. “But, as much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. I’ll _consider_ it, but we need to think of other things. Preferably things that don’t involve putting innocents in danger.”

          “If only people could hear you talk like that,” Henderson mused. “Your concern for their safety is heartwarming to say the least and I think if they saw that, they wouldn’t look at you as a tyrant and see you as their protector.”

          “How do we do that though?” he retorted. “No one seems to really listen during open court. They just know if I’m doing something beneficial to them and then go back to fearing me. I’m not secretive with my plans to protect the realm.”

          “Maybe if you didn’t do it while so grumpy,” I muttered, more to myself than anything but everyone stopped in their tracks and stared at me like I had grown an extra head.

          “Did you just say what I think you said?” Ryan blinked, stunned by my interjection.

          “I believe she just told you to lighten up,” Henderson smirked. “She’s not wrong though. Your image as a cold and angry King is definitely not helping the rest of your reputation.”

          I could feel my face getting red as Ryan stared at me and blinked owlishly as he processed what I said. First I lead him right into the Queen conversation, and now I was telling him to lighten up. I couldn’t tell if he was upset with me, or if he felt betrayed by me siding with the council for the first time. I opened my mouth to backtrack, but he held up his hand to silence me and I closed my mouth and my heart sank as I prepared for the lounge lashing I was about to get.

          “Keryna,” he huffed. “I’m going to give you a pass because you’re recovering, literally, from death. But you should watch yourself or-”

          “Or what?” Henderson huffed back. “You’ll send her to the Pit again?”

          I fought back a warning hiss as she crossed a line she didn’t know existed. I watched the rage flare up in his eyes, but she didn’t stand down.

          “You need to face it your Majesty,” she continued. “She’s the kingdom’s sweetheart now. She took a poisoned dagger and still had the wherewithal to stop Nag’a from killing herself or anyone else and lived after two days standing on deaths doorstep. She’s a symbol of strength and having her on your side is enough to keep you safe for now. No one in their right mind is going to come after wither of you while the people look to her as a role model.”

          “I… I…” I was now sharing Ryan’s stunned look as I tried to process this information.

          “On top of that, the entire arena saw the way you leapt to her defense and swept her back to the castle for treatment. I’m not saying that there’s anything serious between you two, but it’s very clear that Keryna means something to you, and there have been some whispers about her breaking through your shell. There isn’t any traction behind it though and most people ignore it because they don’t think there’s a shell to break.”

          “She’s right,” Ciecil said quietly as we all watched the King go stone faced. “The Kingdom isn’t under the constant threat of rebellion like it was when you took over your Highness. You don’t _need_ to stay so stoic. It might be beneficial for you to… to loosen up a little.”

          I watched him carefully as he stared off into the distance, and I was alarmed by the fact that I couldn’t read him. Not even a sparkle in his eyes gave away what he was thinking and I shifted uncomfortably along with the council members as the silence drew on long enough for them to look to me like they knew I could pull him out of this trance.

          “Keryna,” Mery’an said softly. “Do you think you could help him relax? It would mean protecting him and that is your job after all. We can all agree that you’ve brought out something in him that no one else has even brushed upon. He’s been far more… agreeable in the last two months, even if the two of you do everything in your power to derail some of our decisions. He doesn’t look as tired and nervous anymore, and if anyone could make him more approachable, it’s the person who literally spends every waking hour at his side.”

          I looked over at Ryan, who was now focused intently on me with his mouth hidden behind his hand. I still couldn’t read him and that was far more alarming than the way the council was hinting at them knowing what was going on between us. I couldn’t tell what I was supposed to say and the council sensed that because they quickly looked between the two of us.

          “Has her so trained to only follow his orders that she can’t even make this decision on her own,” Lancaster snorted. “She’s no more than a pet to him. We could fill this castle with puppies and it would have the same effect on him as Keryna. I don’t think we can salvage his reputation, even with the Kingdom’s golden child at his side. He’s dug his hole too deep, and now we have to make sure it doesn’t become the Mad King’s grave anytime soon.”

          I started to say something to Lancaster, but I quickly bit my tongue and returned my attention to Ryan. I was finally able to read him and I could see that he had taken offense to the councilman’s comment. His eyes were locked onto the older man and I could almost see steam rising from him.

          “Say it Keryna. Say what ever you were going to say,” the King ordered.

          “I was going to say that I can now see where Gereth gets his unyielding optimism.”

          There was a snort of laughter from one of the other councilmembers, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source and Ryan was hiding a smirk behind his hand. Emboldened, I continued.

          “I was also going to say that I wouldn’t be opposed to a castle full of puppies. It would certainly make our day more entertaining.”

          “I’m not filling the castle with puppies,” Ryan said quickly with a shake of his head.

          “But think of how tolerable financial meetings would become,” I smiled. “I know I’d be less bored with a puppy in my arms.”

          “You’re supposed to be protecting me not playing with puppies.”

          “I can do both.”

          “What am I still arguing with you?” Ryan huffed as he realized that we had gone on a tangent like we usually do in his study. “I’m not bringing in puppies, you’re going to deal with financial meetings and suffer with me, and Lancaster can shut his damn mouth about you just being a pet.”

          “Your Highness?” Lancaster gasped like he didn’t fully catch that last part.

          “You heard me,” the king snapped. “If she was just a pet to me, I would keep her on a tighter leash. I hate to admit it, but Henderson is right. Keryna makes everything… more interesting and I do… enjoy having someone who hasn’t had castle life drain them of all their humor.”

          He was speaking like it pained him to say this out loud, and I’m sure that it did to a certain extent, but I could see the truth in his eyes. He saw this as a stepping stone to letting our relationship come out and being accepted. Easing the Kingdom into it by showing he had a heart before jumping right into ‘he’s capable of love’ would probably go over better.

          “Am I being given free reign over my sharp tongue?” I asked breathlessly.

          “To an extent,” the King said cautiously. “You can get carried away and not everyone is as okay with your humor as I am.”

          “Wait,” Ciecil smiled. “Are you telling me that you two are friends? Like legit, the King had made a friend that he can joke around with.”

          “Yes. I’ve made a friend,” Ryan muttered as he shifted around uncomfortably in his throne.

          “Then we’ll stop there,” Henderson said quickly as she saw Ryan’s discomfort and the walls started to raise. “Baby steps after all. Neither the Kingdom nor the King is ready to jump into this head long, and we need to make this work if we want him to live.”

          “I can’t believe my life has come to this,” Ryan said with a shake of his head. “I’m relying on friendship to save my life. What has become of the Mad King?”

          “He’s still in there,” I smiled. “He’s just not what the Kingdom needs right now.”

          “No wonder you’ve been so agreeable,” Mery’an grinned. “You’re finally listening to reason. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad you ignored our decision to have Gereth be your bodyguard. I doubt we’d be here if Keryna had been passed over.”

          The room nodded in agreement while Ryan did his best to hide his joy. He didn’t have to watch himself as closely and could loosen up without suspicion and I could tell he was thrilled at the turn of events. If he had been angry with me before for turning against him, it wasn’t in his eyes as he watched the three councilmembers start to plan open courts, fairs, and parties that would bring the people in to see this new and friendlier King. The only person not partaking in the conversation was Lancaster, and his look didn’t escape me.

          He and I locked eyes and my good mood fell as he glared at me with the most contempt I had ever seen a human being produce.


	18. Planning for the Future

          “We never discussed what to do about Nag’a,” I muttered as I stared into the fire, letting flames lick at my fingertips while I played with my magic.

          Ryan didn’t look up from the report he was reading, but I saw a flash of recognition in his eyes. He took in a deep breath, finished the paragraph he was on, and then sighed as he set it down in his lap to look at me critically.

          “As of right now, she’s in the dungeons still,” he began. “There’s no questioning her guilt, and while you were asleep the council agreed that no trial is needed. The only thing left to decide is when and how she will be executed.”

          I nodded before watching the small flames that I let engulf my hand. Using my magic no longer made me tired, and I didn’t really need to focus on a particular feeling to initiate the flames, but I still needed a lit fire nearby to draw from. I noticed how the fire seemed to form around my hand like a glove instead of actually touching my skin. I slowly moved my fingers and watched the flames dance.

          “Have you tried talking to her?” I continued.

          “Personally? No, but the people who have tried haven’t gotten a word out of her,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “I know the council asked already, but now that we’re alone, is there anything reason you can think of as to why she would want me dead enough to be willing to kill you? You’re her friend and, even if you haven’t talked in years, you know her better than anyone else involved.”

          “Nag’a was always very protective of her family,” I sighed as I let my flames die out. “The only reason she’d so blatantly do something like this is if they were in danger. She and I grew up together, I know she holds no ill-will towards you. So what ever had made her do this, is not because she believes you need to die.”

          “Why didn’t you mention this during the meeting this morning?”

          “Because I don’t trust Lancaster,” I said quietly. “I finished reading all your notes, and that with my own observations has lead me to believe that he’s involved.”

          That got Ryan’s attention. His previously sleepy demeanor became fully alert and his face hardened as his body tensed up as he waited for my explanation. I sighed and rubbed my face before continuing.

          “His entire fortune hangs in the balance with you on the throne,” I started. “When you took over, his profits dropped dramatically, which is to be expected during a coup. There isn’t really a market for any ore that isn’t already in the shape of a weapon, and you were careful to cut off trade routes to keep Michael in short supply of everything.”

          “Why wait thirteen years?” Ryan cut in and politely nodded when I held up a hand to let him know I was getting there.

          “His family has been doing this since Geoff unified the Kingdom,” I explained. “The trend is this: coup hurts profits, after the dust settles it all starts to pick back up, profits return to previous levels within eight years. The problem is that Ray and Michael let the Lancasters go unregulated and their expected profits were outrageous. You have not been so kind to them. You’ve put taxes and limits on them that, while benefiting the Kingdom as a whole, is totally destroying their profits. They’ve been hemorrhaging money for a few years now.”

          “That’s what he gets for relying too heavily on outside mines and ore sources,” the King grumbled and I couldn’t help but to smirk.

          “This explains why he was so keen on getting Gereth into my position,” I nodded. “He wanted someone to try and sway you into their favor, and it is also why he was so put off by the idea of having to get more ore supplies for the Spring Harvest festival and the Pit fight. He was already spending enough, and the fight was only a bigger expense for him.”

          “You’re not convinced though,” the King hummed worriedly, noticing the way I wasn’t excited to plan an attack.

          “There’s no direct connection yet,” I sighed and winced as I saw him slouch into his chair. “There is plenty of motivation, and plenty of arrows that point to him, but there are still a few big things that haven’t been explained yet that are the keys to being able to retaliate. How the first assassin knew your routine well enough to get into your room and sneak up on you, and how Nag’a was able to get that dagger into the Pit. There is someone else involved in this and they are the key to connecting Lancaster to all of this.”

          “So if we can get Nag’a to talk, then we can safely start to fight back,” Ryan nodded.

          He still looked upset that we still had to sit and wait around, but the small fleck of hope that lit up his eyes was enough to make me swell with happiness. We were finally taking steps forward and suddenly we thought we could see the end of all this. I reached out for his hand and he eagerly took it and laced our fingers together.

          “I’ll try to talk to her tomorrow,” he smiled.

          “I’m coming with you,” I said firmly and shook my head at the way his face fell. “She’s my friend, and if I’m right, she’s not in this willingly. If she’s going to talk to anyone, it’ll be me because she trusts me.”

          “She stabbed you Keryna,” Ryan said firmly, anger bubbling up in his tone. “She almost killed you, and you want to be in the same room as her?”

          “She’ll be behind bars won’t she?” I shrugged and watched him chew on his cheek. “And besides, I’m not asking you to leave me alone with her. You’ll be in the room too. And I won’t be unarmed and unprotected this time around.”

          Ryan sighed heavily but nodded in acceptance before going back to the report he had been reading. I looked around the room and remembered my fever dream. My dream was an exact replica of everything that actually existed in this room and for a moment I was embarrassed at how well I knew the inside of his room, but quickly remembered that I probably spent more time in his room than my own for actual work and not just pleasure.

          “You okay Keryna?” Ryan hummed, bringing my attention back to him.

          I blushed as I realized that I was smiling and I tried to look away to hide it, but it was too late and I was given a raised eyebrow and a wicked smirk.

          “It’s the same as it was before you were injured,” he smiled.

          “I know,” I muttered.

          “Does this have something to do with the dream you had while you were unconscious?”

          “How did you know?” I asked, giving him a suspicious look.

          “Your mother told me you woke up crying out for me,” he smirked as he set the report aside. “And I know that nightshade fever dreams are never normal, so it wasn’t just a simple nightmare. That and you’ve never looked so happy to be in my room. I simply connected the dots.”

          “And if you had been wrong?”

          Ryan simply shrugged in response before continuing to look at me expectantly.

          “I wasn’t wrong though. So, Keryna, what did you dream of that took place in my room and caused you to yell my name?”

          “It was nothing like that!” I said quickly, but pursed my lips as I remembered that it was _almost_ like that.

          “Okay,” I muttered as he gave me a knowing smile. “It was kinda like that.”

          “You have to tell me now,” he teased as he reached out to take my hand again. “Don’t be too embarrassed. Like I said, nightshade fever dreams are never normal and tend to get very fantastical and odd, so there’s nothing that could surprise me.”

          I felt my heart sink at his words. Was the concept of me marrying him really that ‘fantastical’? I felt a little hurt by his unintentional insult but it was quickly washed away as he tugged on my hand and guided me up from my chair and into his lap. His big blue eyes looked up at me, swimming with humor as he waited for me to tell him what I had dreamt of. His hands were gentle, the one on my waist careful not to irritate my scars and the one on my leg was slowly rubbing my thigh.

          “I… uh…” I stammered as the words caught in my throat and he looked increasingly interested in what I was going to say.

          “I dreamt that I was your Queen.”

          I looked away as I said it, afraid of what I was going to see in his eyes, and I could feel the heat of my blush creep down my neck. The hand on my leg stopped dead in its idle wandering and his breath hitched as I said the word he had been fighting against for years. I was really hoping he would remember what he just said about the fever dreams being odd, so I continued thinking it would make that theory even more clear.

          “I dreamt that I woke up alone across the hall in my room. When I came in here to find you, you swept me up into your arms and told me that all my real memories were the fever dream. In my dream, apparently, we had been married for years and then there had been an attempt on your life and I jumped in front of the blade. You got upset that I didn’t remember being married to you, I got upset because you were upset, things took a wild turn and yeah. I woke up calling for you because you had disappeared in my dream as we were…”

          I trailed off as I stared at his bed, sort of aware that I was rambling to fill the awkward silence that had settled on us. Ryan didn’t move as I spoke and even after I had finished the only way I knew he was alive was because of his breathing. I didn’t dare look down at him as the heat of my embarrassment warmed my chest. I stared at his bed, wishing I hadn’t told him and that we could just go to sleep knowing that we were one step closer to solving the mystery of his assassination attempts.

          “Keryna,” Ryan said softly after several tense minutes and I swallowed hard before giving him my attention.

          I was a little stunned to see him looking so happy and even more surprised as he relaxed back into his chair, pulling me to his chest and letting his hands continue their idle movements. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before continuing to speak in a soft, loving tone.

          “I know I’ve put up a fight against taking a Queen, and I know that’s why you were so hesitant to tell me. I’m still not sure I want to get married right now, and I’m _sure_ it’s not what the Kingdom needs right now. A wedding is too obviously an attempt to gain the people’s support and it wouldn’t work out how the council thinks it would. But I promise you this Keryna: There is no one I’d rather have by my side for the rest of my life, and if the council decides to force me into marriage, I’ll gladly make you my Queen.”

          I sank into his arms and let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. He adjusted for my relaxed position and he held me tightly while he kissed the top of my head.

          “I love you Keryna,” he whispered into my hair. “And I’ll do anything to keep you at my side. Even marry you before we’re ready. Besides, with as much as the Kingdom loves you, you may as well be Queen. I think they would more readily listen to you than me at this point.”

          “That’s why we need to get you to loosen up around the people,” I smiled as I drew circles on his chest with my fingertips. “I’m sorry about that by the way.”

          “It’s okay,” Ryan sighed. “You’re right, I don’t exactly make myself approachable, but you also know how difficult it is for me to let others in. Between the assassination attempts and the Mad King’s paranoia about being _too_ comfortable, I’m not exactly thrilled about it but I’m in no way upset. It just means that we can work on making _us_ public in a less… sudden manner.”

          “If you’re okay with it, then I’m okay,” I sighed. “I just didn’t want you to think that I had turned on you or something.”

          He laughed softly before kissing my nose and nuzzling my head up so that he could reach my lips with his. He silenced my worries with tender kisses and I spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in his arms as we talked about anything that came to mind. I felt anxious that this was going to end in a few days when Kerry came back, that we would have to go back to hiding our relationship, but he continued to sooth my concerns by cradling me in his arms and giving me wide, unrestrained smiles every time he paused to look at me.

*~*~*~*~*

          “Are you sure your Majesty?”

          The guard to the dungeons looked at us like we were crazy, and I couldn’t blame him. It had only been four days since she stabbed me, and now we were asking to talk with her privately. Due to her crimes, Nag’a had a total of six soldiers guarding her at any given time. Two in the hallway outside, two in the room outside of her cell, and two that constantly walked around the hallways adjacent to the dungeon. She was sat in the back of her cell, stretched out on the dirty, old bedroll that had to have barely been better than just sleeping on the floor. She watched me intently, not once giving the King or either of the guards her attention as the King assured them that we knew what we were doing.

          She didn’t have any hate in her eyes, or even any humor at the situation like I figured she would. She looked a little worse for wear, but if they had tortured her, I certainly couldn’t tell. Her long, slender limbs appeared to be perfectly fine and she wasn’t babying any of them. Her hair and face were dirty, but not beaten or broken and she was still as beautiful as I remembered her being. The type of beautiful that was effortless and was contained entirely in the way she looked at you and held herself.

          As soon as the guards left, Ryan took a position leaning against the wall next to the door and I walked up to the bars before sitting down on the floor across from her. Nag’a gave me a humored eyebrow raise, but said nothing.

          “You stabbed me with a blade coated in pure nightshade, and Gereth’s swing to my hip is still the only thing that is upsetting me.”

          The two people in the room with me snorted with short laughter, but I could hear the pain in Ryan’s. He was happy my scars weren’t bothering me more than they were, but he was still dealing with the fear of losing me. Nag’a on the other hand shared my dark sense of humor but she still didn’t say anything, instead she eyed the King warily.

          “I’m not going to claim I know why you did it Nag’a, but I can tell you that what ever your reasons, they’re safe with us.”

          “And if I just wanted you dead so that the Kingdom could be free of the Mad King?”

          Her voice filled the room and I reflexively relaxed at the sound. Even after a decade and stabbing me, my body reacted to her with trust. Despite what she said and the confidence with which she held herself, I could see something flicker in her eyes before she could control it. After weeks of reading Ryan, it felt like child’s play reading her expressions.

          “You don’t have to lie to me Nag’a,” I said softly. “We know there’s something bigger going on, and I know you’re not in this because you want to be.”

          “I thought you said you didn’t know my motivations?” she snapped back, a little too harshly to be natural.

          “You’re telling me that ten years in the mountains had changed your opinions of the King?” I hummed as I tried to coax answers out of her.

          “Ten years is a long time,” she retorted. “I could have entirely changed my way of life in that time.”

          “You could have, and so could he,” I said and gestured vaguely in Ryan’s direction. “Being up in the mountains, you _must_ know how hard he works to keep that garrison fully stocked and comfortable. I hear that the beds there are even better than some of the generals’.”

          She didn’t say anything, but I could see the admission in her eyes. She knew the lengths Ryan went to in order to make it worth being stationed in such an inhospitable region for the soul purpose of checking merchant’s wagons and taking inventory of everything that crossed the northern border of the Kingdom.

          “Is your family in danger?” I asked, cutting to the chase.

          She remained silent, but the color drained from her face and concern washed over the confidence in her eyes. Her eyes flickered to Ryan before settling back on me. She quickly but smoothly crawled over to where I was sitting and I could hear Ryan shift nervously. Again, Nag’a gave him a cautious glance before lowering her voice.

          “And if they are? Why does it matter? I’m going to die for what I did to you, whether I tell you anything or not.”

          “It matters because if you are being blackmailed by the person I think you are, I can stop them from hurting me, the King, and your family.”

          Her breath hitched and I saw her think about it for a moment.

          “I notice you didn’t say anything about a pardon.”

          “I only have so much power Nag’a. I can’t convince the entire realm that you’re innocent,” I sighed. “I’m giving you the chance to clear your name and get revenge on the people who are threatening your family. I’m sorry I can’t convin-”

          “I can,” Ryan said suddenly and I spun my head around to give him a shocked look.

          He had his eyes locked on Nag’a as he spoke, but I could clearly see the determination in his eyes as he stepped forward to stand next to me.

          “I’ll have you pardoned and will protect your family if you tell us who wants me dead so badly that innocent lives are of no consequence.”

          “I’d hardly call Keryna innocent,” Nag’a smirked despite herself and gave me a teasing sidelong look.

          Ryan stiffened up and I could see his patience growing short. We were so close to getting real evidence, and he was practically oozing with vengeance.

          “Though I’m sure you already know that,” Nag’a continued. “Keryna is too chatty for you to not know _somethings_ about her past. I hear you took a long private hunting trip. I’d bet my life that she managed to worm some friendly conversation out of the Mad King.”

          Ryan chewed on his cheek and my lips pressed into a thin line. She still knew me too well, and as she looked between us she knew it too.

          “I also hear that Keryna fucked the King for her position, but I know that’s not true. She’s willing to do anything once she sets her sights on something, but she wouldn’t go that far. Not even to piss Gereth off.”

          At the mention of his name, a brief flash of disgust darkened her features and Ryan and I shared a quick glance. My heart was racing as I waited for Nag’a to calm down, and I could tell that Ryan was about ten seconds away from jumping her to ask if our theory was true.

          “Nag’a,” I said softly and reached through the bars to take her hand. “Who made you do this? I promise you that they will pay for what they’ve done to all of us.”

          She looked around, as if ensuring that no one else was listening and hesitated as the façade of strength fell from her face. I could see all the worry and fear that she was feeling and my heart ached for my friend. She may have stabbed me and almost killed me, but her hand was forced and I couldn’t blame her for that.

          “Lancaster has my sister and mother locked up somewhere in that mansion of his,” she hissed quietly.

          Ryan spun around and made to step towards the door, but I quickly reached out and grabbed his cloak. He was moving so quickly that my simple tug was enough to make him fall backwards onto his ass. I hissed apologetically and shrunk away from the heated glare that he gave me once he recovered.

          “What are you doing?” he growled. “We need to go get him _now!”_

          Nag’a scooted away from where Ryan and I were now sitting together, her eyes wide with fear as she got to see the full rage of the Mad King. Her eyes got wider as she watched me refuse to back down from the painfully familiar frenzied look.

          “We can’t just march into his house my King!” I snapped back. “Even if we have her word, there’s still the fact that someone is working with them. It’ll be useless to take down the Lancasters if there’s still someone willing to work with others to kill you. They’ll find another family that has a score to settle and it’ll never end.”

          Nag’a took a deep breath and cleared her throat, drawing our attention to her and she flinched as she took the brunt of Ryan’s glare.

          “I think you’re looking for Kerry,” she muttered. “He was the one that told me that the Lancasters had my family and took me to the mansion to see them. He was the one who gave me the dagger for the Pit fight and he acted as the liaison between Lancaster and myself.”

          My heart stopped and my jaw dropped as she spoke, but my expression was nothing compared to Ryan’s. We knew we had to be cautious around Kerry because we weren’t sure where he stood on all this or if he could be bought, but that didn’t stop Ryan from looking absolutely betrayed. The rage died and was replaced with pure sadness as her words settled in his mind. I couldn’t help myself and reached out to lay a hand on his arm. He didn’t react to my touch, instead he continued to stare at Nag’a like she had told him his parents had died.

          “That would explain how the first assassin knew your schedule,” I muttered. “And you did say that Kerry was all in for having Gereth be your body guard. He would have been the only one allowed into the Pit before the fight, and he was there to escort my mother with a smug smile on his face.”

          “And why he was so excited to have you fight in the Pit,” Ryan said, his voice so low it was nearly inaudible. “And why he’s constantly staying out of the castle.”

          Realization washed over his face and was followed by his rage returning. He scowled and looked deeply into my eyes.

          “And why he was planning on leaving after the Pit fight, and why he left so quickly once he heard you were awake.”

          I swallowed hard as the look he was giving me sent chills down my spine. Lancaster may be the funds behind the conspiracy to kill the King, but Kerry was the blade. He was the one who guided each attack and had directly attempted to kill both of us. Ryan was breathing so heavily that his entire body heaved like he had run ten miles. He was shaking with anger and even through his armor I could tell that every muscle in his body was tense.

          “I will have that rat’s head for this,” he snarled. “I’m going to kill him myself for hurting you.”

          My mouth hung open uselessly as he was too enraged to remember where we were, and Nag’a quirked an eyebrow as she processed what he said. His hand came up to cup my cheek and my mouth snapped shut as his eyes swam with every emotion racing through him.

          “I promised I’d kill anyone who tried to take you from me,” he hissed. “And I’m going to start with him. Once he get’s back, I’m going to make him pay for what he’s done to you. Nag’a, I’m going to free your family and then you’ll be free to go. Your decisions were not your own, and I can’t blame you for acting out of fear for your family.”

          With that he got up so fluidly that my eyebrows shot up. The Mad King was back in control, and all the grace and strength that came with the fighting lifestyle was breath taking. His footsteps were nearly silent as he strode out of the room with more determination than I had seen in the last few months with him. He had gotten all the proof we needed to mount an assault against the people who were out to get him, and that’s all he needed to know. He saw the end of this horrible game of cat and mouse, and it was finally time for him to be the cat.


	19. The Evidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, life continues to kick my ass but I'm still truckin'. Now I'm on vacation and I actually have the time and energy to write. I will also be on the beach tomorrow so here's this weeks chapter early! I will be back on my regular (or at least as close as I can get to regular) schedule next week!

          “Don’t you dare say it,” Ryan snapped after taking one look at me as we returned to his study.

          “If you know what I’m going to say, then you know it’s true.”

          For the first time, Ryan genuinely snarled at me and I felt my heart skip a beat as I fought off the urge to run from him.

_“I am not waiting any longer! We have all the proof we need! We have a witness and co-conspirators testimony!”_

          “We have the word of a prisoner who was told she’d be allowed to live if she spoke,” I said smoothly. “We need something hard and undeniable. Something that Lancaster and Kerry can’t dismiss easily. Before you rip my head off, I already have an idea on how to fix that.”

          I could tell that Ryan was trying hard to restrain himself, his eyes twitched and I could see the muscles in his arms shift as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

          “Go on,” he rumbled.

          “We go through Kerry’s room,” I shrugged. “If he kept any correspondence, it will probably be in there. Since he is gone, we can safely go in there and not be caught snooping around. And _if_ someone does come in, you’re the King and you have reason to believe that Kerry is wrapped up in something unsavory. No one will argue with you then.”

          The moment I was done speaking, he was pushing past me and heading down the hall to Kerry’s room. I had to sprint to keep up with him and my eyes widened as Ryan tried the door, then kicked it in once he saw that it was locked. I quickly looked around to make sure no one was going to react to the sound of splitting wood, and once I was confident that we weren’t going to be interrupted I joined Ryan in Kerry’s room.

          I had only been in here once before, and it was just to get Kerry for a council meeting, so I took a moment to take in the room. He also had tapestries hung up along the walls as a form of decoration and insulation. They depicted various moments in history and I couldn’t help but notice that, even though he gave Ryan a hard time about his ‘theme’ of red tartan, Kerry also tended towards a certain color scheme. Rich yellows brightened up the room quite a bit and the spectrum of blues made it feel like it was more open and natural. Looking around, I felt like I was standing in a field and staring up at a clear blue sky, but there was something oddly familiar about it all. Maybe he was just trying to brighten up his room, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen this before.

          I tore my attention away from the décor in time to see Ryan start ripping drawers off Kerry’s desk. I winced as he tore through the papers that fell out and I took a few steps towards the raging monarch.

          “Ryan,” I said calmly.

          Like a wild animal, he snapped up towards me and gave me another look that dared to tell him he was moving too quickly.

          “It’s hard to find evidence when you’re throwing it everywhere,” I sighed and motioned to the scattered papers.

          His nostrils flared and I could see him trying to rein in his anger. I got the feeling that if I was _anyone_ else, I would have been ripped limb from limb for standing in his way.

          “Kerry is going to be gone for another two days Love,” I said calmly. “It’s not going to take that long to tear his room apart and read through all his paperwork and files.”

          That seemed to work on him and his shoulders relaxed slightly as he exhaled with a low growl. I crossed the room and helped Ryan pick up the papers at his feet. I could still feel the anger that rolled off him like waves of heat and every once and awhile he would make a sudden, jerky movement that reminded me that he was the Mad King right now. Single-minded, determined, and ruthless, fighting towards his goal and victory. He was tired of hiding and we were so close being able to properly retaliate. Even a part of me wanted to jump right into the fray and kill the Lancasters for treason, but we didn’t have any hard evidence and doing so without it would totally nullify any steps we took towards making him seem less tyrannical.

          “Keryna,” Ryan said in a low, almost growl like tone that didn’t sound intentional.

          “Yes, my King?” I responded and looked up at him.

          He was standing over me, arms full of papers and looking down at me with a hard set in his jaw and eyes swirling with anger and determination. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat. This was the first time I had come face to face with the Mad King when he wasn’t trying to kill me, and the way his eyes followed me as I stood with my own stack of papers made my skin crawl. This is what the people saw when they thought of the King. He was intimidating to the point that even _I_ felt a pang of terror. My mouth went dry as I took in the stiff posture he had adopted and recognized it as the same one that I had seen so many times before a battle.

          Ryan tucked all the papers under one of his arms and used his free hand to take a hold of my chin and gently lift me out of the submissive head bow that I didn’t realize I had taken. I smirked as soon as we locked eyes and saw the hint of humor in his focused gaze.

          “I guess I’m not as immune to your power as I thought,” I huffed.

          “Good. I’d hate to think I couldn’t stop you if _you_ went off the deep end,” he rumbled with a small smile of his own, but it did nothing to dissipate the firmness of his expression.

          There was something about the way he was right now that made my heart race for reasons other than the inherent fear that followed him when he was like this. I felt my cheeks flush as the realization hit me and his smile turned into a grin as he read me like a book. I tired to step away from him, but his hand gripped me tightly and only made the blush spread.

          “We can discuss _this_ later,” he said quietly as he pulled me closer and gently nuzzled my nose. “But now that you’ve managed to calm me down like only you can, we have work to do. We need to get as much of this read as possible and then come back to search for any hidden compartments.”

          “You started it,” I muttered.

          “And I’ll finish it,” he growled.

          With that he let go of me and we left Kerry’s room. Out of habit, I tried to close the door behind me but pursed my lips as the door creaked significantly more than it used to and the top corner didn’t fit into the doorframe. I left it as closed as I could and quickly returned to the King’s study.

          We lost track of time as we sifted through page after page of inventory manifests and financial budgets. Even a few nights of sleeping in Ryan’s arms couldn’t save me from the soul crushing weariness that came with reading the drivel of the councilmembers and merchants who were trying to suck up to Kerry so that their particular type of grain could be used in the castle.

          “I guess it was too much to hope that he would keep any letters from Lancaster in such an obvious place,” I grumbled as I flicked my fingers towards the piece of paper Ryan had thrown through the air.

          We had gotten bored and his spirit had died a little, so I started to burn the pages we read through. The first few attempts hadn’t gone well, and the study had a few scorch marks on the floor and walls, but with time my aim got better and Ryan’s mood improved with every flaming paper that fell to the floor. It wasn’t enough to keep the disappointment on his face from being obvious though and I stood stiffly from my chair and stretched.

          He stood as well and wrapped his arms around me while mine were above my head. I smiled sleepily as I let them fall to his shoulders.

          “None of that sleepy stuff. There’s still some daylight and we need to scour his room before he comes back. If he’s involved like Nag’a says, it wouldn’t surprise me if he returned early to make sure someone is watching over us,” he muttered and gave me a sweet kiss and tight hug before letting go and heading back to Kerry’s room.

          Once we were back in his room, Ryan fixed the drawers and looked for false bottoms while I started to search the walls for loose bricks or other hidden compartments. The color scheme of his room stood out to me as I ducked in and out of the tapestries to get a look at the masonry underneath them.

          “Does something seem off about his room to you?” I called out as I ran my fingers along the wall.

          “It does seem unlike him,” Ryan hummed from across the room near Kerry’s bed. “But other than that I can’t think of anything.”

          “I feel like I’ve seen them somewhere,” I said, more to myself but still loud enough for Ryan to hear.

          The silence that followed scared me and I gave the King a worried glance as I peeked out from behind the thick fabric. His eyes were wide as he stared around the room and the color was gone from his face. Suddenly he looked like a trapped animal and his shoulders hunched in response to an unseen threat.

          “Ryan?” I worried aloud as I ran to him. “Ryan, Love, tell me what’s wrong.”

          “Michael,” he said breathlessly with a slight shudder. “Those were Michael’s colors. I was finding yellow and blue banners around the castle for months after I took the throne.”

          I swallowed hard and cast a glance around the room as it dawned on me. He was right. Kerry’s room was decorated with the colors of the previous King, and now that I had this knowledge I saw the bear theme that seemed to tie all the tapestries together. Ryan’s breathing became ragged and I returned my attention to him.

          “You said that Michael and Ray let the Lancasters do what they wanted as far as business goes,” he hiss as if there would be someone trying to listen in. “And Kerry worked for Michael before I took over, but he was the one who had helped me get into the castle. He was my insider and probably the only reason I over threw Michael as quickly as I did. _Why would he be on his side?”_

          “Keep looking for hidden compartments,” I said firmly, shaking Ryan’s shoulders to pull him out of the worried spiral he was descending into. “There’s bound to be something in them that will explain. We just need to find it first Ryan.”

          He nodded, but his shoulders remained hunched and his eyes darted around like a hunted animal. After a half hour of searching, we gave up on trying to make it look like we were never here. With the door broken, it would be obvious that someone had gotten in, so we rationalized our wanton destruction by making it look like someone raided his room. Which wasn’t totally wrong if you think about it.

          I was tossing clothing over my shoulder and quietly judging him for the number of vests he had but never seemed to wear when I noticed that the deeper into this chest I got, the more his past with Michael became clear. Yellow tunics and blue vests a plenty were strewn around the room as I shook his clothes out. I sighed heavily as I reached the bottom and sat back on my knees with a disappointed frown. I glanced up at Ryan, who was rechecking the walls just in case I had missed something, and my heart sank at the prospect of telling him that this was a huge failure. He was going to get mad, and I was starting to get tired of pulling him from the edge of insanity. Not that I didn’t want to, but it hurt me to see him get so upset. After so many weeks of getting to know him and pulling him from the hole he had fallen into before, it worried me when he would lose so much progress in so little time. It reminded me just how serious this situation was. Sure, it was a matter of life and death, but more than that it reminded me how much this had worn on his psyche. I just wanted him to be safe and happy.

          I looked back to the empty chest as I thought about how to best bring him down from the anger he was inevitably going to go into when I noticed a particularly worn spot in one of the bottom planks of wood. I leaned in and ran my fingers across it, trying to remember if I had pulled a belt from this area when I realized that my fingers were the same size as the divot. My heart raced as I practically threw myself into the chest and wedged my fingers between the planks.

          As I thought, I was able to get under it and pull up a loose piece of wood. I gasped loudly as I shoved my hand into the revealed space and fished out a handful of letters that had the Lancaster crest on the broken wax seals. I spun around to tell Ryan and saw that he had already turned to talk to me, his own hand full of letters as he pulled from a compartment I had missed. We each stared at the stacks in the other’s hands and I felt my excitement grow as I saw the wax seals on Ryan’s letters: Yellow and blue swirled, and I didn’t need to be over there to know that there was a bear head in the middle.

          I shot up and ran to him, and Ryan met me with a crushing hug. We laughed nervously but still happy. We didn’t need to read them to know we had gotten our evidence and I giggled as Ryan picked me up and shook me around, still maintaining his bear hug. When I pulled away my words were muted by a deep kiss, one that was full of joy and a certain amount of relief that made me giggle more into his lips.

          “Let’s go,” he hissed through a huge smile. “Let’s go see exactly what this snake has been up to so that we can finally put an end to this.”

          I nodded furiously and turned to lead the way, but we stopped in our tracks at the same time as a horrified Meg skid to a stop. While she looked over the upturned room, we froze as if she wouldn’t see us as long as we didn’t move and watched her nervously. When she finally looked at us, I looked over to Ryan for a signal. His mouth was clamped shut and I could tell he was fighting his instinct to go after her. He swallowed hard before speaking in a low, commanding tone.

          “Meg, go to my study. We can explain, but we need to discuss it somewhere else.”

          She nodded slowly and stiffly turned on her heels to leave. He locked eyes with me after we heard the door to his room close behind her and I waited for him to gather his thoughts.

          “Do you trust her?” he asked firmly.

          “I do,” I said without hesitation. “She’s very loyal to you. She owes you her life and she understands almost as much as I do that there’s more to you than the Mad King.”

          He nodded once before returning to his room. When we joined Meg, she was sitting in my chair in the study staring absently at the tray of food that she had brought for us. I glanced outside and winced as I realized that we had been so caught up in our search that we hadn’t noticed that is was dinner time. When I tried to sooth her concerns with a friendly hand on her shoulder, she nearly jumped out of her seat. Her head snapped to me and when she wasn’t happy with the attempt at a calming smile, she turned to watch the King round the desk and sit down in his chair. He was quiet for a while, still thinking as he too stared at the meal before him. T-bone steaks, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, an assortment of steamed vegetables, and of course a selection of cakes and cookies for desert. I reached out for a cookie and simultaneously Meg and Ryan reached out to swat my hand away.

          “Meg,” Ryan said calmly. “There is a lot going on that you may not be aware of, so I’m going to give you the short version until Keryna and I can all this together ourselves. There is a conspiracy to kill me and Keryna and I have been working to dig it up since we got back from our hunting trip. Kerry is a part of it and we needed physical proof to show that he’s working with Michael and Lancaster to dethrone me.”

          Meg blinked in shock before looking over at me as I sat on the corner of the desk next to her. I shrugged and nodded in affirmation as the King sighed and finally pulled his chair closer to the desk, clearly intending to start eating the dinner that Meg had brought. I couldn’t help but snort at the arrogance of the action and he gave me a withering look.

          “I don’t want it to get cold,” he huffed at me.

          As if remembering why she had come to the King’s room in the first place, she shot up out of my chair and offered it to me with an embarrassed flush. I smiled and waved her away as I sat down and looked over the spread. I looked back to Meg and she was staring at one of the black marks on the floor.

          “So,” Meg said quietly. “Kerry is trying to kill you?”

          “Yes,” Ryan said as he cut a bite of meat. “And he’s the one who facilitated the attack on Keryna.”

          Meg's eyes shot up to mine and for the first time since I woke up, she looked at the black rings around my eyes and didn’t look away. Her face fell and sadness marred her usually happy visage.

          “Kill him,” she said suddenly and even Ryan choked on his sip of wine.

          We looked at each other before returning our gaze to Meg, who was now full of determination and anger.

          “You’re like a sister to me Keryna,” she said almost embarrassed. “You’re the first person to not treat me like every other servant in the castle and you remind me so much of my little sister. On top of that, the King was an absolute mess while you were asleep. Other than being the King’s trusted guard, there’s no real reason for someone to come after you. Anyone who hurts you is crazy and needs to be put in their place.”

          “And the King is clearly a better man than he used to be,” she added, seeing that Ryan was rolling his eyes at her reasoning. “Even more so since you’ve been with him. I know that it’s not necessarily something that the people would see, but if Kerry can see this change and still want to kill him, he shouldn’t be trusted. Ever.”

          “While I appreciate your support and enthusiasm, I can honestly say your response is a little shocking,” Ryan hummed.

          “I’ve seen first hand what happens when Michael supporters get too full of themselves,” she said quietly, eyes fixed on the letters Ryan had set down on the table. “And once again, it’s hurting my friends and loved ones.”

          Ryan and I were quiet for a few moments while we thought and ate. After a minute of silence Meg bowed and turned to leave, but Ryan’s hand shot out like an arrow. She jumped at the contact, but she relaxed once she felt the gentle way he was holding her wrist. Once she turned back to him, he sighed and gave her a soft smile that usually was reserved for me. Her eyes widened a little but she smiled back after giving me a quick glance.

          “Thank you Meg,” he said softly. “For handling everything you’ve had to deal with in the last few months. Between the assassination attempts, new resident, and now this, you’ve stayed strong and able to roll with the punches. And thank you for staying loyal to me despite, well, myself.”

          “You saved my life your Majesty,” she smiled sweetly. “The least I can do is tolerate your girlfriend and do what I can to save yours.”

          “You only tolerate me?” I asked with mock pain.

          “Hush,” Ryan smirked. “Meg, give us a few hours to read through these letters. When you come back later this evening for your final rounds, stick around. We’ll tell you more once we have all the information together, and that way you can be prepared for what’s to come.”

          “Of course your Majesty,” she nodded and bowed before leaving Ryan and I to our meal and work.

*~*~*~*

          Meg settled down cross legged on the floor near the desk while Ryan and I found a file for the letters and set them aside so that we could hide them in the compartment here in the study. Despite the similar location the letters from King Michael were found in, we agreed that it didn’t appear that Kerry knew about the King’s hiding spot because none of the King’s more accurate ramblings were never mentioned or turned against him.

          Meg patiently waited while Ryan and I stared at each other, trying to mentally finalize the plan before running it past Meg to see if outside eyes could see problems. I nodded slightly to him, giving him the floor to start his explanation because he was far more knowledgeable about how Michael’s head works than I.

          “I’ll start from the beginning,” Ryan sighed as he began playing with one of his rings. “When I first started my rebellion, the only reason I followed through with any of my big talk was because I had Kerry on my side. He was Michael’s adviser, and when Michael dismissed my angry threats as the raging of a slighted Commander, Kerry saw the validity of my complaints and agreed to help me. He also thought that Michael was mismanaging the military to better suit his personal needs and agreed that Michael’s political presence was lacking.”

          “I believe you used the phrase ‘non-existent’,” I smirked.

          “It really was though,” Ryan shook his head. “There was a reason that the Lancasters were allowed to run rampant like they did, and it was because Michael didn’t do a damned thing as far as the financial running of the kingdom was concerned. Kerry handled all of it, and at the time it was still unstable from dethroning Ray and Kerry didn’t know how to handle things on that scale. He was so relieved when I came in and showed him how to do it. If it wasn’t hunting or fighting, Michael wasn’t interested.”

          “Anyway,” Ryan said, physically waving away the tangent. “Once I took over, I let Kerry keep his position as the King’s adviser because, at the time, I felt like he was the only person I could trust. The first letter we have from Michael is dated from about three years ago, around the time the pattern would have normally come back to bite me but it didn’t because the people were too afraid to fight me without a strong figurehead.”

          “What I did to upset Kerry is still unknown,” Ryan continued with a sad sigh. “What I do know is that he knows the people’s concerns enough to see that they won’t rebel because they don’t have a commander to rally behind like they did with me. Because of this, Kerry suggested that they just assassinate me and have Michael show up to retake the throne.”

          “Wouldn’t that just bring the kingdom back to the start?” Meg interrupted, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth.

          “It would,” Ryan smiled as he tapped his nose. “That and Michael doesn’t really want the throne back. He’s got a kid now and doesn’t want the royal life for the little one, so they decided on a different person. A champion so to speak. During Michael’s exile, he appears to have befriended a clever merchant named Gavin Free whom they both think will be what the kingdom needs.”

          “But how is he militaristically?” Meg asked again, seeing that she was allowed to interject.

          “Nothing,” Ryan huffed. “What little I’ve been able to find of him tells me that the most combat experience he’s had is fighting off bandits. While they are the biggest problem we’re facing at the moment, I wouldn’t trust him to head an army of this size. He has no military experience and it will cost hundreds of lives before he finally gets a feel for how it works.”

          “Where do the Lancasters come in?” Meg asked and pointed to the stack of letters by my hand.

          “They’re more inside support,” I explained. “Assassinating the King is expensive work, and if Kerry was pulling funds from the treasury, the King would have noticed. So Kerry went out and found a rich family that he could convince to side with Michael. The Lancasters have been hit hard by the King’s import taxes, so they were a likely target, even if they are losing money. It’s not unknown that Lancaster would do anything if it meant a profit.”

          “Gereth comes in when Lancaster wanted to get in some extra coin before the King is replaced,” I continued, seeing the question in her eyes. “Kerry was going to let it happen because it would give him someone close to the King to work with and maybe convince to do the assassination itself. When it became clear that the King was favoring me, they tried to smudge my reputation with the lie that I had sex with the King to sway him with the hope that the King would have some modesty and avoid me just to avoid the rumor.”

          Ryan snorted and Meg giggled as well at the prospect of the King letting modesty get in the way. He wasn’t overly uncouth and a degenerate, but the King didn’t really care about the rumors. He knew they weren’t true and that’s all that mattered to him.

          “It was Lancaster’s idea to kill me,” I sighed as our smiles faded. “He understands that I’m a serious obstacle in their goal, especially after it became obvious that I was loyal to the King and the King alone. He talked to Gereth and that’s how he learned about Nag’a. We’ve been friends since childhood, and during training she was one of the only people to be able to out maneuver me in combat. Sure, he could have hired anyone stronger than me to try, but he’s not dumb like Gereth and sees that the only guarantee to get me down is with someone faster than me and someone I wouldn’t expect. So he kidnapped Nag’a’s mother and sister, telling her that they would be released after the coup.”

          “So,” Meg said quietly after a moment of thought. “What are you going to do next?”

          “We wait until Coronation Day,” Ryan sighed and picked up one of the letters. “Kerry must be using the falcons I save for emergencies because the most recent letter came in the same day Kerry left and it was about Keryna waking up. Kerry’s tired of hiding and trying to do it stealthily, especially after Keryna lived. He’s over with Michael now finalizing their plans. Michael is going to sneak over with Gavin and lay low until Coronation Day. The way the ceremony works, Kerry and I do a whole thing and it ends with Kerry placing the crown on my head and all that. Their plan is for Kerry to sneak in another nightshade dagger and kill me with it while I’m in my thinner dress clothes and while he’s much closer to me than Keryna is. How he plans to run from Keryna _afterwards_ is a mystery to me, but I’m sure the crafty bastard has an escape plan.”

          “What we do is let him think that everything is going according to plan, and when he moves to attack me Keryna uses her magic to stop him.”

          “Keryna has magic?” Meg exclaimed.

          “Oops,” I giggled as Ryan’s eyes rolled with vague frustration. “Yes, Meg, I do.”

          I demonstrated by lighting a small fire in my palm and letting it consume my hand before killing it. She stared at my hand for a moment before her eyes snapped to the scorch marks on the floor. When her gaze returned to me, I shrunk away from the anger in her eyes.

          “It’s a good thing you have a month to improve your aim before Coronation Day,” she hissed.


	20. Drinks

          A week later my scars had faded as much as my mother and the King thought they would so I needed to go out and have my armor remade. I couldn’t help but be a little excited to be out on the town again, and I knew there was a skip in my step as I made my way to the armorer.

          Occasionally, I looked over my shoulder to make sure he was still there. As per the council’s orders to make him more likeable, the King was accompanying me on my errand. It was around midday and the streets were full of people. So full that if it weren’t for his size, we might have had to hold hands so that he didn’t get swept up in the crowd. Many barely even acknowledged the King because they were so set on their goals for the day. Still, his eyes darted around and he looked like a fish out of water. I slowed my eager pace so that he could fall in next to me and I let our shoulders touch so that he knew I was right there. This seemed to relax him a little as his head stopped spinning around in search for a threat.

          The one good thing about knowing Kerry and Lancaster’s next steps was that we could relax a little bit because the main threat wasn’t going to be for another couple weeks. Which was why we didn’t protest much when the council suggested that the King follow me into town. Also because Ryan didn’t want to be left alone with Kerry, just in case he decided to speed up the plan. It took everything in my power to not take his hand as he started to look around to sight see rather than to keep a look out.

          “When was the last time you actually came into town for leisure reasons, and not for a festival or to pass through?” I asked, speaking up so that he could hear me over the din of the crowd.

          “I have no idea,” he huffed with a crooked smile. “Probably not since the rebellions. I tried after the last one was quelled, but the people didn’t seem to want me around so I just stopped coming in unless I had to.”

          “No wonder no one is staring or giving you a wide birth. They probably don’t recognize you,” I teased.

          “You’d think the crown would give me away,” he laughed loudly, finally drawing some attention with his unique chuckle.

          He must have felt their gaze because his smile faltered as he scanned the crowd and saw all the people who were starting to go wide eyed. I just laughed at their gaping mouths and took a hold of Ryan’s forearm and kept him moving. He stiffened at the contact and his eyes darted around to make sure that no one was watching.

          “Try to relax a little,” I smiled softly as he looked at me with apprehension. “You were doing good with the laughing. Don’t let them get to you.”

          “Easy for you to say,” he muttered. “They _love_ you.”

          I stepped in front of him and stopped with my arms crossed. He wasn’t expecting me to stop and bumped into me before returning my posture. He had decided to give up on trying to ‘put me in my place’ and had taken to reacting the same way he does when we’re alone: with a curious, humored smirk and raised eyebrows.

          “It wasn’t all that long ago that you were giving me that same advice and telling me to ignore everyone when they were calling me your whore.”

          His mouth opened and closed uselessly as he was taken by surprise by my blunt wording. He nervously looked around at the small crowd that had stopped to watch in awe as the King walked among them. He was doing better than I expected him to. I figured that the Mad King mentality would take over and he’d close himself off, but I think that having me with him was all that was keeping him from going into mental hiding.

          “You just need to listen to your own advice,” I chirped, determined to let my own positive attitude lift up his. “You need to relax a little bit and ignore them. We’re supposed to be making you look approachable remember?”

          “Yes,” he huffed and let his arms drop. “You recognize why that’s so hard for me right?”

          “Of course I do,” I smiled. “And I don’t expect you to become the most beloved king overnight. I just don’t want you to shut down before you get the chance to prove yourself.”

          He nodded reluctantly, and I took a moment to glance around at the group of people we had accumulated. Several were giving me an incredulous stare as they were close enough to hear our conversation, but there were many that were clearly talking in hushed tones to their friends with cautious smiles on their faces.

          After the armorer had taken my measurements and found pieces that only needed minor adjustments, we had a few hours to kill before we could come back to get my armor. I carefully led Ryan through the streets and to the market where lunch was in full swing. Vendors lined the street and the smell was enough to make your mouth water. Even Ryan seemed to forget where we were and was losing the stiffness he had started our adventure with as he perused our options.

          Ryan seemed to be drawn to a vendor with various cakes on display and when the owner turned away from the customer he was serving previously and saw the King eyeballing his wears, the color drained from his face. Immediately the vendors eyes found me and he gave me a look that screamed “Is this real?”

          “He’s just looking,” I said to the astonished man behind the counter. “We might stop by later _after_ we find some real food.”

          “Unless this is some really good magic, this _is_ real food,” the King snapped, giving me a playful glare out of the corner of his eye.

          “A wealth of other, more substantial foods and you choose this. I should have known that you’d find the cake as soon as possible,” I sighed as Ryan took a slice of cake and began to rummage through his coin purse for payment.

          “I’m sorry, I like to indulge myself when I can. It’s not often I get to _pick_ what I’m eating. It’s usually just brought to me while I’m working,” he said as he fished out a couple silver and handing it to the vendor as he took a big bite of his ‘appetizer’.

          His eyes glazed over as he chewed and the vendor looked horrified for a moment before I gave him a reassuring smile.

          “You’ve won the King’s heart,” I murmured to the man behind the counter. “Nothing gets him quite like a good piece of cake.”

          “Don’t be telling people my weaknesses,” Ryan growled before taking another bite of cake.

          “Your sweet tooth with be the death of you,” I smirked, which garnered an eye roll from the King and a quiet chuckle from the vendor.

          “We’ll probably be back,” I whispered to the man as Ryan turned to scope out more food.

          The vendor nodded with a happy smile and a cautious glance to the monarch’s back. When I rejoined Ryan, his eyes were bright as he licked icing off his fingers.

          “You should have gotten yourself a cookie,” he murmured through his finger.

          “Later,” I smiled as I scanned the market. “First I want to see if my favorite vendor is here. She makes the best kababs I’ve ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth.”

          His low chuckle made my skin crawl and I shivered. Luckily there was a cool breeze and I was wearing light armor, so it wasn’t obvious that it was the King that had made me shake. He on the other hand, knew very well what he did to me and gave me a knowing look before taking off in the direction of another stand that caught his eye.

          After loading up, we found a quiet bench at a fountain nearby where we could sit and enjoy our food. Conversation was light and carefree, the cool spring breeze carrying our laughter around the square we were sat in. As expected there were eyes on us at all times but if it still bothered Ryan, he didn’t let it show and I don’t think his smile faded the entire time we were sat there. It made my heart warm to see him outside like this. Worry free and enjoying himself. I found myself staring at him while he talked about his trips to town while he was Commander Haywood.

          Eventually his eyes met mine and we froze there for a moment. My heart started to race and the urge to kiss him was strong enough to draw my eyes to his lips. He must have felt the same way because when he cleared his throat loudly and looked away, I could see the flush across his cheeks. I quickly looked around and sighed with relief when I saw that no one had noticed. The King also looked around then down at his feet while he waited for his blush to fade away.

          “We’ve still got time to kill,” I sighed as the moment sadly faded away. “Anything else you’d like to do?”

          “Well, after all that food, I could use a drink,” he said as he sat up and chewed on his lip as he thought. “Is the Baby Dragon still open?”

          “You frequented the Baby Dragon?” I grinned.

          “Back before I became King. Hell! Before I was stationed in the outskirts!” he smiled. “Is it not still a good place? Did it go to the dogs?”

          “It’s still a great place to go and drink with your friends,” I giggled. “I’m just trying to imagine you with your squad rolling in and causing a scene.”

          “We never caused a scene,” he said indignantly as he stood but a smile pulled at his lips as he remembered something.

          “Once we caused a scene.”

          “Pray tell,” I winked as I stood beside him.

          “So, me and couple other guys from my company are sitting there, minding our own business. We’re in the middle of a card game, and I’m losing horribly so I started to look around the tavern when it wasn’t my turn. This woman caught my eye, she didn’t look like she wanted to be there with this guy who was _much_ bigger than I was. She was pretty and all, but not my type so I just kinda glanced in her direction every once and awhile to see if she ever needed an escape or something.”

          “My buddy Miles on the other hand,” Ryan grinned as the haze of nostalgia fogged his eyes and I couldn’t help but smile while I led us through the streets. “She was _absolutely_ his type, and when he followed my gaze, you would have thought he had fallen in love. His dumbass made eye contact with her and they started to flirt from across the tavern. Jon and I were desperately trying to get him to stop, because we didn’t want the guy attached to her anywhere near us. McCormick on the other hand thought it was hilarious and wanted to poke the bear.”

          “Eventually he notices Miles making eyes at his girl and I shit you not his head was within two feet of the support beams,” Ryan was getting animated now and the people around us were staring again, but he was so lost in his story he didn’t even bat an eye. “Miles, who was on his fifth pint at that point, stood up to this guy and the rest of us just hid in our booth. We were ready to haul his unconscious body out of there as soon as he was down. Jon was paying our tab and leaving a hefty tip for the destruction that we _thought_ was about to happen.”

          “You thought?” I hummed noticing the group of people not so subtly following us, totally enraptured by the King’s story.

          “It turned out that she was his sister, and he was the over protective type. He was gonna push Miles’ shit in for ogling his little sister, but then Miles went off. The whole damn tavern heard him call this guy out on not letting his sister live her life and that ‘sure, shitty guys are out there, nut that’s no reason to control a woman like that’. The big guy was so taken back by someone actually talking back to him that sure enough, he backed down and let his sister sit with us for the rest of the night.”

          “Did it work out?” I asked.

          “You know, I’m not sure,” Ryan smirked. “I know they dated for a while, but not too long after that we all got stationed elsewhere and I lost track of him. I know he’s still in the military, a general I think, but I don’t know where he is.”

          “Wait, General Luna?” a voice behind us asked.

          The King nearly jumped out of his skin before whirling around and going pale at the crowd he had attracted. The crowd jumped in return as the Mad King spun around to face them, but they didn’t run. They were clearly intrigued by the fact that he appeared… human.

          “Yes, General Miles Luna,” the King responded cautiously, looking to me to make sure that I wasn’t worried about the group of people around us.

          I gave him a friendly, comforting smile and he relaxed before stepping towards the group. A few leaned back, as if ready to run, but most stayed put and took the opportunity to get a good look at their King.

          “I’m pretty sure he’s stationed on the western border,” the voice, a man who appeared to be a merchant of some kind, said with a friendly smile.

          “That would make sense. His family is from there, so I bet he talked his way into being stationed out there.”

          I could see some tension still in Ryan’s posture, but all the socializing he’d done today had totally brought down his walls. I couldn’t even see a hint of the apprehension that he had left the castle with. I couldn’t help but smile as he started to talk to the man who had so bravely stepped forward to talk to the King outside of court. The wary bystanders that I had grown used to during our trip were quickly becoming curious and less cautious.

          “My King,” I said firmly, gently touching his elbow to get his attention.

          “Yes Keryna?” he responded.

          “If you want to continue talking to your people, I won’t stop you,” I smirked. “But I just wanted to see if you still wanted to stop by ‘The Baby Dragon’ for a drink.”

          “Yes,” he said, suddenly brightening up like he remembered why we were walking this way in the first place. “A drink would be great after all that cake you let me eat.”

          “I beg your pardon?” I snapped back as his brightness faded into a teasing smirk. “I distinctly remember telling you to wait until later to get dessert.”

          “You didn’t stop me though,” he continued, waving to the people we were leaving behind.

          “Stop you?” I laughed. “Like I would step between you and cake.”

          He simply grinned and chuckled as we continued on our way to the tavern.

          Once we entered the Baby Dragon, the tavern went totally silent as their King looked around with an appreciative smile.

          “Just like I remember it,” he sighed before making a beeline towards a booth along the far wall.

          The way he gracefully slid into one side, avoiding a lifted board on the seat without even acknowledging it, I knew that this was ‘his’ booth. This was probably the same booth that he was sitting in the night of Miles’ altercation. He shifted around in the seat like he was trying to get comfortable in a chair he thought he knew, and something occurred to me.

          “You know, my mother said that I wouldn’t have recognized you when you were younger. I believe the word she used was scrawny.”

          That seemed to make him realized that he had grown since the last time he sat in that seat and he leaned back into it as he gave up trying to find the sweet spot he had memorized. His smile contrasted with the irritated eye roll that he gave me.

          “I wasn’t scrawny,” he huffed. “I just hadn’t bulked up yet. You know how it is. Basic training is nothing compared to actual battle. After being stationed in the outskirts, I quickly started to fill out.”

          “I am very familiar with that,” I chuckled. “I didn’t properly fit in my standard dress armor until after training to be your body guard. Now, you think you can behave while I go get drinks?”

          “Yes Keryna,” he whined playfully and jaws dropped around us as I left him alone.

          While waiting for our drinks, I made it appear that I was looking around when really I was eavesdropping on everyone within ear shot. Due to how crowded the tavern was, I was mostly only able to get bits and pieces but that was more than enough to get a feel for the room.

          “Can you believe _he’s_ here? I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to the King.”

          “Do you see that _smile_ though? He’s been up there so long, who knows what he’s like anymore?”

          “You think Keryna broke him? I have a friend who served with her and he says she could make corpses laugh!”

          I turned my attention to the man who spoke that last one and smiled. The bartender gave me our drinks and I made a detour past their table and bumped my hip against the man’s chair.

          “Who told you that I could make anyone laugh?” I smirked as he jumped.

          “A buddy of mine. He wasn’t in your immediate friend group, but he’ll take it. Anything to say he knew Keryna Stormborne,” he smiled as he eyed the two drinks in my hands. “Drinks with the King ay?”

          “His idea actually,” I shrugged. “Apparently this is an old haunt of his, and now that I’ve had him out of the castle for a bit, he’s looking to reacquaint himself with the town.”

          “That can’t be the King!” one of the others at the table exclaimed, just a little too loudly and they shrank away as I felt the King’s gaze swing this way.

          “Why? Because he’s not grumpy and tired?” I smiled as I took a sip of my drink.

          “He’s nothing like what I thought he was before,” I sighed as the table nodded their heads at my question. “Being King is hard, being the Mad King is harder. He’s in a situation now where he’s tired of being feared, but is a little set I his ways and stuck with his reputation.”

          “Queue the drinks,” the first man smirked.

          “Like I said, the drinks were his idea,” I giggled. “But he’s been very good today. After I was able to convince him relax a little, he opened up a surprising amount for one day. I damn near had to rip him from a conversation he was having with a merchant about one of his old military buddies.”

          The table laughed and looked over towards the King before giving me a few well wishing good-byes as they saw me inching my way back towards the King.

          “What were you talking to them about?” Ryan smiled, but his tone hinted at some worry.

          “I overheard part of their conversation, saw an in, and figured I’d speed up the process of gaining their approval,” I smiled back as I slid into the seat across from him.

          “Oh?” he continued, but now that he saw I had a handle on it, he didn’t sound so worried.

          “I flat out told them that you’re looking to rework your reputation,” I shrugged and Ryan paled for a moment. “They’ll spread the ‘rumor’ and people will start being more willing to give you a chance. I’ve spent enough time around Kerry to know how to play a room Ry- your Majesty.”

          His eyebrow popped up as I stared into my drink as I tried to figure out where that slip up came from.

          “I know you have a low tolerance, and I know it’s been a while since my last visit, but I don’t remember the drinks being that strong here.”

          “I think you’ve just been so… normal today that I relaxed too much. It won’t happen again.”

          I felt his boot hit the tip of mine under the table and I pulled my attention from my drink and up to the smirking King as he took a drink.

          “It’s fine Keryna. I prefer hearing you say my name than any of the official titles,” he muttered with a comforting smile.

          My lips twitched as I resisted the urge to tell a joke that _definitely_ shouldn’t be said in public. He scowled at me and kicked my foot again, harder this time, as a smile threatened to break through his frown.

          I should have been careful, should have known better than to let myself get lost in spending time with the King, but the next thing I knew I was almost done with my second drink and I was starting to feel a little warm.

          “I’m good,” I smiled as a barmaid offered to refill my cup.

          “So you _are_ going to moderate yourself,” Ryan teased as he let her top his off. “Here I was thinking I’d have to carry you back to the castle.”

          “I’m not that bad!” I snapped as a wide smile broke out across his face.

          “You say that, but your cheeks have been red since the first half of your second drink.”

          His laughter filled the tavern as my hands shot up to my cheeks without my consent. They were warm before I felt the eyes of the entire room fall onto us, but they only got warmer as I tried to hide behind my fingers. I looked out the window and shook my head.

          “My armor is probably done,” I sighed as I started to stand up.

          “Leaving already?”

          “You haven’t even had two drinks!”

          I went wide eyed at the attention from everyone in the tavern, but Ryan was choking on laughter as he kicked his feet up onto my chair and blocked my way out.

          “I haven’t finished mine yet,” he smirked. “I’m paying, the least you can do is let me finish.”


	21. Tensions Rise

          The last few weeks had been crazy for us. Between trying to plan Coronation Day and dealing with the assassination, we had little time to relax in his study and after his uncomfortable return to a destroyed room, Kerry hadn’t left the castle so we hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while. With the ceremony being less than a day away, Ryan and I were on edge and desperate for some relaxation. Which was why he and I were both fidgeting as the council meeting started to come to a close. The rest of his day was open to us and I already had in mind a quiet corner of the gardens I wanted to pull him into and kiss away our anxiety before taking a long nap.

          “Now that we’re done with the final preparations for Coronation Day, I think we need to address another, slightly related issue,” Mery’an smirked as he tapped a stack of papers on the table.

          “Calling it an ‘issue’ makes it sound like a problem,” Henderson chuckled as she gave the King a sidelong look.

          “Get on with it,” my King sighed with an eye roll before yawning.

          “Your quest to gain the people’s approval is going swimmingly,” Henderson smiled. “Your regular trips into town with Keryna have definitely left an impression and people are actually looking forward to tomorrows ceremony.”

          Everyone’s eyes fell on me as she finished her sentence and I squirmed under their gaze. My sleeping arrangements with the King were once again the talk of the town, but instead of being a whore who used her body to get a promotion, I was now the Mad King’s savior. Nearly everyone believed that I had changed the King, that I was the reason for his improved mood, but that was the only part anyone seemed to agree on. My place in the King’s heart varied from best friend to secret lover, and my personal favorite, his adopted daughter. For the most part I just sat back and listened to the wild arguments that people made to support their theories, but the latest variation has had my full attention.

          Many people believed that the King would be making some kind of announcement after the ceremony tomorrow and that the rest of Coronation Day was going to be a celebration of whatever that maybe. I blew it off as just a rumor and chose to focus on the assassination attempt that we were going to foil, but judging by the way he stopped fidgeting, the King was putting more thought into it.

          “Is there something you’d like to add to the schedule, your Majesty?” Ciecil asked with an overly innocent look on her face.

          “Something you’d like to… _propose?”_

          I couldn’t stop my groan as the words left Henderson’s mouth. I rolled my head and my eyes as she snickered at me.

          “So you _have_ heard the rumors?” she smiled.

          “Of course I’ve heard the rumors,” I huffed, crossing my arms. “It’s my job to keep up with the rumor mill. And just when I thought my reputation was starting to settle at ‘hero’ too. At least it’s not ‘the King’s whore’ again.”

          “I’ve heard people refer to you as the Mad Queen already,” Ciecil smiled with a wiggling eyebrow.

          I shivered and my eyes twitched as my mind started reeling. This had been the intent after all, easing the people into the idea of the Mad King and his guard being lovers, but I was starting to feel less like I was lowering myself into a pool and more like I was being yanked under the surface. Ryan liked to tease me about my fever dream, and I was ashamed to admit that I liked the sound of his voice saying “my Queen” enough that thinking of it right now made my toes curl, but hearing _other_ people say it brought back the voices in my head. The ones that reminded me that I was merely the King’s guard and even if we were in love, that’s all I’d ever be. Because he was King.

          Before I could fall into the panicked spiral I thought I had left in the hunting cabin, the King’s low chuckle grounded me long enough to focus on him.

          “Don’t you people have anything better to do than try and force me onto Keryna?” Ryan smirked.

          “With all due respect your Majesty,” Mery’an sighed. “Spending that much time with someone is bound to create a strong bond if it doesn’t make you hate each other. You clearly don’t despise one another, so people can only assume that your relationship leans towards the affectionate side.”

          “I suppose so,” Ryan hummed as he started to get lost in thought then sighing heavily. “No. I’m not going to propose to Keryna. How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want a Queen before you actually listen?”

          “My King,” I said softly, hearing the tiredness and exasperation in his voice.

          “Yes Dear?” he said mid yawn.

          Time stood still as realization dawned on both of us and the sleepy haze burned away from his eyes. I watched the color drain from his face as I felt mine do the same thing, the cold wave of embarrassment waking me up all the way. His eyes slowly closed as he slumped back into his throne and held his face in his hands. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back as the silence that fell over the room became suffocating.

          Until I heard the jingle of coins.

          My head snapped towards the sound and Ciecil froze, her hand stopping in midair as Henderson nonchalantly stuffed a few gold pieces into her coin purse.

          “Are you serious?” the King rumbled, sounding more disappointed than angry.

          “Like Mery’an said,” Henderson shrugged. “You were bound to get close, it was just a matter of how close.”

          Ryan sighed again before hiding in his hands. I turned my attention to the three other people in the room and was mildly surprised to see Mery’an watching the King almost smugly. Lancaster and Kerry on the other hand didn’t surprise me and were too caught up staring at each other, silently trying to figure out how this might effect their plot, to notice me watching them.

          “This doesn’t leave this room,” Ryan said firmly after a few more moments.

          “Yes Sir,” the council said in unison as Ryan leaned forward.

          “This by no means makes me weak or unfit to rule,” he continued. “Just because I-”

          “Who on earth thinks this would make you weak?” Mery’an gasped.

          “Just because you’re the Mad King doesn’t mean having someone that close to you makes you weak,” Henderson frowned. “You were already ‘getting better’ so to speak before Keryna showed up. She just gave you a reason to fight a little harder.”

          His eyes flicked towards me as she spoke and I smiled as he slowly relaxed from the tense, defensive stance he had taken to try and justify himself. His eyes softened as his shoulders fell and he mirrored my soft smile.

          “This is all well and good,” Lancaster grumbled. “But the issue at hand is that she is literally nobody of importance.”

          “It’s not an issue if I’m not marrying her,” the King growled back, his happiness fizzling away like water flicked into a hot pan. “Besides, I’m sure there’s a large portion of this kingdom who would beg to differ from your statement. Last I checked, Keryna gets a few free rounds of drinks because she’s the King’s protector and the Champion of the Pit.”

          “But I lost that fight,” I murmured.

          “But you lived to tell the tale,” my King winked, but I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

          “She’s still a bastard,” Lancaster pressed on.

          I looked over to Kerry and raised an eyebrow when he immediately met my gaze. He cocked his head to the side and gave me a smirk that, if I didn’t know of his scheme, I would have taken as him saying “I called it.” But now that I knew what he was planning, I could read the intent behind his eyes.

_“It’s a shame you’ll never become Queen.”_ He seemed to say.

          “Well,” I said, speaking up as thought occurred to me. “According to my mother my father was a general, and given the time frame, he would have been one of King Ray’s generals.”

          “So you’re the bastard daughter of a disgraced former King’s general?” Lancaster scoffed. “Thank you. You’ve changed my mind. Please, continue to waste the King’s time.”

          “She’s not a waste of time!” Ryan snapped, his face red with anger as he snarled.

          I opened my mouth to try to calm him down, but the way he slowly rose from his throne made the words stop in my throat. A growl rumbled from deep with in him and the three amiable council members started to shrink away as the Mad King glared and hunched over the table like a predator ready to pounce.

          “Your Majesty,” Kerry said smoothly, glaring at me for my lack of response. “Lancaster is just thinking about how it would look-”

          “How it would look if the King had feelings for someone who meant something to him rather than being married off to the daughter of the highest bidder? Trust me Lancaster, I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. Why do you think I fight it so hard? I’m not a pawn to be used for political ascension. _I’m the fucking King!”_

          I saw his shoulders tense up as he prepared to reach out for Lancaster and decided it was time to step in. I reached out and touched his shoulder, and I wasn’t surprised when he spun around on me the moment he felt my hand. Immediately, he relaxed and the anger faded from his face. His lips pressed into a fine line as he looked even more tired than he did before.

          “Your Majesty,” I said as I let my hand fall from his shoulder. “I know you’ve got a lot you need to do for tomorrow, but you need to rest. You’re over tired and after your, _our,_ unexpected announcement, I think we need to discuss how to move forward.”

          “You’re right,” Ryan sighed, the last of his tension fading as he rubbed his eyes. “This meeting was over anyway. Kerry, if anyone needs me, do me a favor and take care of it for me if you can. Otherwise, please tell them to wait and then come get me.”

          “Of course your Majesty,” Kerry nodded, but I could see the contempt in his eyes.

          Ryan started to leave and I fell into place behind him, just happy to be leaving the room finally, when he stopped and turned to look at me over his shoulder. I raised an eyebrow and his cheeks flushed for a moment before holding his hand out to me. Instinctively, my hand moved to take it, but the habit of secrecy made it shoot back to my side. His low chuckle and soft, tired smile silenced my nerves and when he took my hand from where to had gone to my side, I didn’t fight it. Our fingers laced together, and he pulled me to his side before continuing to his room.

          I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, and every time a servant stopped in the halls to stare, I couldn’t help but shy into the King. It felt wrong to be so open after months of hiding our relationship, but all my concerns were wiped away when I glanced at him and saw that he was blushing just as much as I was. His thumb brushed my knuckles after one servant failed to hide her racing footsteps as she took off to tell everyone she knew what she had seen.

          “Tomorrow is going to be interesting,” I murmured as we turned into the wing where our rooms were.

          “But we’ll be able to spend the day together as a couple now,” he sighed. “To be honest, that’s the only thing keeping me from panicking.”

          Once we were safely in his room and I was sure that we were alone, he explained as we dressed down for a nap.

          “The assassination, our relationship becoming common knowledge. The prospect of spending tomorrow with you on my arm and celebrating is all that is keeping me from slipping again. We can deal with anyone who wants to tell me I can’t be with you because of your status at a later date. Until then, I just want to enjoy you as freely as any other couple. It’s been almost painful to go into town and not dote on you or hold your hand. I just want to be normal.”

          “Ryan, Love come here,” I whispered as he slumped down onto the mattress rubbing his eyes and looking like he hadn’t slept in years.

          I sat down beside him and wrapped my arms around his waist. When he fell back, I followed him and laid my head in the crook of his arm. Ryan’s hand slowly rubbed my side as we almost immediately fought off sleep and I yawned before continuing.

          “Just another couple days and we can be normal. Tomorrow we foil their plan, then spend a few days smoothing out the aftermath before we can just relax and be together. We won’t have to hide. We won’t have to be afraid. We can go to the Baby Dragon, get a couple drinks and dance like we’ve been dying to. We can sit by the fountain and have lunch without having to police ourselves. We can go to banquets and festivals and play all the shitty couples games that come about. We can do what ever you want my King, because I’ll do anything you want as long as you’re there with me. I’ll even deal with everyone calling me your Queen, just as long as you’re by my side.”

          I was on the verge of tears as I rambled on, trying to get him to relax and to imagine all the good that he had ahead of us instead of the uncertainty that tomorrow held in store for us. My heartfelt confession was met with soft snoring, and the tears fell as I laughed into his slowly moving chest. I burrowed myself into his side and let my exhaustion take me into the deep sleep that my body so desperately needed.

          We needed our energy and wits about us if we were going to succeed tomorrow, and then this would become a normal thing. I could sleep comfortably in his arms every night, without tears and without apprehension, just as long as we were together.

          Nothing could stop us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and late. I know. But the plot development has gotten a little rocky for me as I'm finding myself more focused on other stories. SO, My King might deviate from the set schedule for a bit as I get everything lined up and ready.


	22. Crowning a New Monarch

          The King’s room was deathly quiet late the next morning, and I barely moved as I stared into the fire and let its flames flicker in my chest. I was already in my dress armor, refitted so that it didn’t irritate my nightshade scars and my cloak draped over my shoulders, and Ryan was still putting on the last of his gold and diamond accent pieces. We had barely spoken a word this morning, and it was a good thing Kerry was busy setting up his own plans for the ceremony because if he was in here with us, I don’t think he would have made it out to the front steps of the castle where the ceremony was held. It was obvious that we were both tense to the point of breaking, and even Meg took one look at us and decided to keep her distance after serving us our breakfast.

          A heavy sigh behind me broke me out of my train of thought, and my head snapped to the source hand instinctively moving to the hilt of my sword even though I knew it was only Ryan. My swift movements made him flinch and his own hand darted to his side before he sighed again, but this time with an almost sad laugh.

          “Come here Keryna,” he said quietly, holding his arms out for me.

          I stiffly got up from my chair and nestled myself into his chest. The thick black jacket that he wore shimmered with a faint purple glow, the only sign that he was wearing enchanted armor instead of his normal dress regalia. As soon as he wrapped his arms around me, the tension fell from our shoulders and we melted into our embrace. Ryan ran his hand through my hair, careful not to loosen my braids or any of the ornamentation and kissed my temple before speaking quietly into my hair.

          “It’ll be okay,” he murmured. “We’ve got this. Together, we’re going to end this today and then celebrate all night. We just need to relax and focus on the plan.”

          I nodded weakly into his shoulder and held him a little tighter. I just needed to focus on my part of the plan. I needed to wait for Kerry to draw the dagger he was going to pull on Ryan while he was bent over to accept his crown, throw a fireball at Kerry and neutralize the threat before Ryan stood tall and revealed the treachery Kerry and Lancaster had been planning. With me in control of the situation, the rest of the guards shouldn’t react unless they were paid off by the traitors, at which point trying to save either of them would just out themselves as co-conspirators and earn themselves a place in the dungeons with their leaders. Nag’a would finally be released, and with Lancaster in custody, we could reunite her with her family.

          And then Ryan and I could celebrate our victory well into tomorrow morning, if not next week, before we would have to go back to some semblance of normal castle life. More boring council meetings, open courts, and inspecting the troops. But at least then I didn’t have to pretend to not admire the King the way I do. After today, we would take the kingdom back from those who wanted to keep him pegged as ruthless and the people could see him for the man he truly was. The man I had grown to love and who loved me in return.

          “Are you ready?” he asked as he pulled away just enough to look me in the eyes. “The ceremony won’t start until I show up, but I’m sure everyone is waiting and honestly? I can’t wait to get this over with.”

          “You sound very confident,” I smirked.

          “I put my life in your hands for a reason Keryna,” he smirked back. “If you can keep a level head in the presence of an enraged Mad King, you’ll be able to take out Kerry before he can hurt me. We’ve got this. We’re a few steps ahead of them and they won’t know what hit them.”

          I smiled softly and nodded, his confidence melting away the fear that had frozen my heart. I pulled him down into a soft kiss but the moment we made contact, it was like a spark ignited between us. His head tilted to the side as he deepened the kiss, his hand cupping the nape of my neck as his tongue flicked across my lips, and I smiled as I returned his eagerness. The warmth of the fire spread through my body as Ryan’s hand wandered downwards, trying to find the gaps in my armor so that he could at least touch something that wasn’t my iron chest plate. After the last of the tension left my body and was replaced by desire, Ryan pulled away.

          “There,” he said breathlessly as a wicked grin pulled at his lips. “Now I’ve gotten you to relax and I’ve given you something to look forward to after the ceremony.”

          I smiled and shook my head before pressing my forehead to his. We held each other for a few moments before I whispered to him.

          “I love you.”

          “I love you too,” he murmured back. “My Queen.”

          As usual, those words sent a chill down my spine and he chuckled as I shivered involuntarily.

          “My little dove,” he whispered before kissing my nose. “My love. My saving grace. My-”

          “Ugh!” I groaned as he giggled. “Let’s go before I throw up.”

          He kissed my cheek and took my hand before heading out the door. I made a big fuss about it, but I really did love it when he doted on me. I felt a little selfish for it, but he looked so content and pleased while doing it that I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. This was just as new and exciting of an experience for him as it was for me, and to be totally honest, I wish there was more I could do for him. Maybe ideas would come to me once we could be more open.

          Once we left our wing of the castle, he dropped my hand out of instinct, but paused before letting a few of our fingers lace together again. I could feel the eyes of the servants again, and now that I wasn’t half asleep and delirious with worry like I was yesterday, I noticed their exact reactions. The younger maids had big doe eyes, watching the two of us like we were the epitome of romance. If only they knew the layers of sarcasm and anxiety that went into our relationship, maybe they would see it as something a little less idyllic. The older maids cast us looks that would have put the Gods’ judgement to shame and I could tell who they thought was the most ‘unworthy’ of the other’s affection. Many of the male servants had the same looks as the young maids, though there were a few that seemed jealous of the King and some more that appeared jealous of me.

          As we approached the main entrance, the servants became scarce and I figured it was because they were all outside waiting for the ceremony to begin:

_Until I heard the sound of heavy armor shifting around the corner ahead of us._

          I stopped in my tracks, taking a firmer hold of Ryan’s hand as I tugged him to a stop and pulled him behind me. He opened his mouth to protest, but he was silenced as I pulled my sword out and brandished it, ready to attack at a moment’s notice. All the guards should be outside already, securing the perimeter and keeping a watchful eye over the “rowdy crowd” we had warned them about, and they certainly shouldn’t be wearing armor that would have sounded like that. My heart was in my throat as I took a deep breath and addressed the mysterious person.

          “I know you’re around the corner,” I growled. “Show yourself.”

          Ryan drew his sword as well once he heard my tone and he let go of my hand so that he could stand beside me. He knew I could hear them from here, so he kept quiet as I listened to a very quiet conversation up ahead. I silently motioned to the King, telling him that there were multiple threats, at least one that was heavily armored. When I turned my head to make sure that he had understood me, movement caught my eye.

          I spun around putting myself at Ryan’s back as I stared down the three men that had flanked us, all three wearing boots that shimmered like Ryan’s jacket. I swallowed hard as fear chilled my veins and malicious, dark brown eyes locked with mine.

          “So you are the pretty little thing that Haywood has taken a shine to,” the man grinned.

          I didn’t immediately recognize the man before me. He was in non-descript armor, but the thick brown cloak on his shoulders set off the dominoes in my mind. Large, clawed paws clasped on the man’s chest and held the fur cloak to his shoulders. It wasn’t until Ryan stiffened up and a low, primal growl rumbled through his body that my mind put a name to the curly haired man in front of me.

          “I like what you’ve done to the place,” the former King Michael continued, taking a step towards me and not even giving my raised sword a second glance. “I was given shit for the yellow and blue, but clearly your iron fist was more upsetting than the tartan. I’ll have to help Gavin clear out all of this before I head back home.”

          Ryan spun to face his predecessor with the wild rage of a cornered animal and I was quick to swap positions with him and watched as Gereth, his father, Kerry, and a few other men rounded the corner. The man I had heard before was a tall, lanky, elven man with short blond hair. I sneered at the thick, creeper skin armor he wore. He must have been an experienced hunter in order to catch a creeper in enough pieces to make that.

_Or a very wealthy merchant._

          As he stepped forward and away from the Lancasters, a victorious smirk on his lips, I realized that this was the champion Michael wanted to put on the throne. I looked away from him and to Kerry, who was behind him and watching me like one would watch a disobedient child get punished. He didn’t hide the joy he was feeling as they all closed in on Ryan and I.

          “You son of a bitch,” Ryan snarled at Michael. “I took you and your army down once, I’ll do it again.”

          “You and _what_ army Haywood?” Michael cooed. “You and your guard have had your heads so far up your asses, we’ve been able to secure most of your _own men_ right from under your nose.”

          “I understand that you weren’t sure who to trust,” Gavin Free mocked with a flippant wave of his hand. “But for a man known for his military prowess, it was amazingly simple to pay or talk your soldiers into joining our cause while you and your bird played at being spies. But I guess that’s to be expected when I offer them freedom from a bloodthirsty tyrant.”

          “You shut your mouth before I shut it for you,” I barked, standing to my full height.

          I could feel my feathers fall as everyone laughed in my face. Ryan backed into me and I felt his hand pass my hip and he brushed against my hand. Immediately I knew what he wanted me to do and I channeled my fear and anger into my hand but didn’t let it ignite.

          “What a fitting end for you Haywood. You took over in a blaze of glory and rain of blood, and now you’re going to go out with a whimper,” Michael mocked.

          “What a shame you had to take such a pretty woman with you,” Gavin continued as the two men converged on us.

          I threw my hand in a wide arc and grinned as there was a loud _whoosh._ My palm ignited and Gavin’s eyes shot open before he was consumed by my fire. Michael roared in anger as he lunged at Ryan and the crackle of fire was overshadowed by the clashing of swords. I readied another fireball and was about to turn to distract Michael so that we could run, when a golden yellow light appeared from the fading fire. I froze as Gavin stood unscathed, his hands up and producing a shield that protected him and the others from my attack. His wicked grin only angered me further and I charged the golden barrier.

          I jumped up and led with my foot as I fell towards the shield. If it was solid, I could just jump off and over it, but if I could pass through it I was going to shove my boot right down the merchant’s throat. Fortunately for him, my foot hit the barrier and I had to kick off it. Unfortunately for me, he was able to raise the barrier and I couldn’t just jump over it like I had planned, so I kicked myself backwards and turned my attention to the two men that had been with Michael.

          Ryan was holding his own, but without his battle armor he was having to focus on fighting defensively and couldn’t effectively fight off Michael with the other two hounding him. I rushed the one closest to me, taking him by surprise but he was still able to duck away from my blade. He stumbled backwards as I reached into the pouch on my belt. It had been a long time since I had thrown one of these, but my opponent was distracted and while it didn’t land between the eyes like I had hoped, my dagger lodged itself into the man’s head and he fell in a heap to the ground.

          A low rumble of approval sounded behind me and I smirked as I turned my head just enough to see Ryan’s matching smile before he turned his attention back to Michael and left the second henchman open for me. I spun on my heels and slashed downward, my hard swing grazing the man’s iron chest plate and tearing a gash into the polished metal with a grating sound that made my skin crawl.

          “What the hell are you idiots doing over there?” Michael barked at the men who were still at the other end of the hall behind Gavin’s shield. “Quit jerking each other off and fucking help me here!”

          There was the thunder of armored feet as the Gareth and the other soldiers rushed in to help. I swung out with my free hand and unleashed another stream of fire from my palm. My knees wobbled and my head spun a little as I took another swing at my opponent, this time missing him entirely as my eyes came back into focus. He took a swing at me. His blade tore through my cloak as I dodged his attack, but it was enough for me to know that I was done with magic unless Ryan’s life was in imminent danger. My practice until now had merely been more advanced parlor tricks and offensive magic like this was draining me even with anger flowing through my veins. Ryan needed me up and swinging more than he needed me to light them all on fire.

          Ryan returned to my back as Michael swung at him, the former King’s sword whistling through the air just a few inches from Ryan’s belly. When he flattened against me, I could feel him shaking just as much as I was and when I turned to look at him, the same fear was mirror in his eyes. His jacket and kilt were torn in a few places, but for the most part I couldn’t tell if any were deep enough to draw blood or not. His hand found my hip and he gripped my belt and that was when I noticed that I was starting to lean to the other side. When I focused on standing straight, I realized that my head was still spinning.

          “We should have practiced on your magic more,” He hissed with a breathless, humorless laugh.

          “Looks like we didn’t need the old man’s advice anyway,” Gereth sneered as we were surrounded. “Once he saw that we were putting an elf on the throne, your step-father was more than eager to help us out.”

          “For the love of the Gods Gereth, shut _the fuck_ up,” Michael groaned before circling around to stand next to Gavin. “No wonder you’ve never won a fight with her. All she has to do is get you talking and then she has all the time in the world to attack you!”

          I couldn’t help but giggle, even as Ryan gave me a warning look over his shoulder. Michael smirked and eyed me before waving his hand.

          “You had to go and find yourself someone just as arrogant and head strong as you, didn’t you Haywood?” the former King sighed as his men closed in on us. “It’s a shame really. What a waste of a good fighter. That goes for both of you. You both would have been better off as generals, but no! You had to go and get a big head and take over because you thought you could do it better than me. And you had to go and fall for a man who doesn’t know when to quit.”

          I lunged at a soldier bearing Lancaster’s crest, cutting through his leather armor and dropping him to his knees as he clutched his gaping shoulder. Ryan stabbed forward and pierced another’s chest, but there were still too many and before either of us could recover and attack again, we were grabbed and thrown to the floor. I could hear Ryan swearing and cursing the men as he thrashed around, and I did much the same as my hands were bound in front of me.

          “Looks like I finally beat you,” Gereth hissed in my ear as he hauled me to my feet.

          “Only because you had help you son of a bitch,” I snapped back and spat in his face.

          His fist darted out and I could feel my nose crack as he connected with me. He didn’t have time to gloat though because Ryan was at my side in a heart beat and kicked Gereth square in the chest, sending him backwards and crashing into a suit of armor.

          “You know,” Michael smiled as we were pushed forward to stand before him. “I couldn’t believe it when Kerry said that you had fallen for a woman. I always assumed that you were married to the thrill of battle and never had eyes for anything but bloodshed.”

          “You’re doing a lot of talking and fighting for someone who isn’t taking the throne,” Ryan growled as we were lead down the hall and towards the main entrance.

          “Because Gavin is still in training so to speak,” Michael said over his shoulder. “You read our letters, you know that I’m going to stick around for a while to make sure no one argues with us quite as much as they did with you and Lancaster and Kerry are going to watch over him after I leave. He will be the fighter I always wanted and the politician you wanted.”

          “Don’t argue with me Haywood,” Michael said as Ryan opened his mouth to do just that. “You don’t have a lot of room to talk about being a good politician. You’ve ridden on the protection of the Mad King for the last twelve years. If it wasn’t for their fear, the people would have over thrown you years ago after you initially relaxed. Even taking a Queen wouldn’t change the fact that you were a blood thirsty tyrant for the first five years of your reign, and that’s all you’re known for.”

          Michael made it a point to turn and look at me as he said the last sentence, and for once the idea didn’t make me recoil. Instead, I felt the fire in my chest strengthen. I opened my mouth to snap back, but Ryan hummed in warning and my retort turned into a low growl. He knew Michael better than I did, and if _he_ thought it was a bad idea to mouth off, I really shouldn’t even consider it.

          I didn’t know much about Michael as a King, but I knew that he was just as good of a fighter as Ryan. When Ryan took over, Michael saw that his army had been defeated and gave up before the bloodshed became worthless. If what Gavin said was true, once we stepped outside, we were going to find that our army had turned against us and that it was _only_ Ryan and I against all these men. Michael had the upper hand and the throne was Gavin’s unless they were bluffing.

_Was that really so bad though?_

          The thought shocked me enough that my brows furrowed and I frowned, but as I mulled it over, it started to gain footing in my mind. We were going to be banished like the other kings had been, or at least Ryan would and I’d follow him, and then we could live out or lives in peace. I wasn’t sure if my magic had worn me out, or if the idea of living a normal with Ryan was enough to make my shoulders slump and I sighed. We could have what we wanted: all the time in the world to spend together with out worrying that someone would try to kill him or that someone would try to tell us that we couldn’t be together.

          A part of me screamed at this new revelation. It continued to fight Michael and wanted to keep Ryan as my King, but it couldn’t lash out like it wanted to. It would only end with one or both of us dead, and we were so close to having everything that we wanted. He would be safe, and I could be with him.

          “Keryna,” Ryan said quietly, his voice sounding small and defeated and when I looked up at him he was still standing tall and strong but his eyes seemed a little duller than normal.

          “No matter what happens, don’t do anything that would put you in harms way,” he continued and cut me off before I could protest. “Don’t. If what they said is true, we’re alone in this now. I don’t have an army to back us and no matter what you do, what either of us do… my reign as King is over. Believe me, giving up like this makes me sick. But the idea of you getting hurt over a useless fight is far worse than giving in. So if they beat me or draw their swords on me, please, just let it happen.”

          “I will not let them _kill_ you,” I growled. “I can… I can promise you I won’t try to stop them from hurting you, but I _refuse to let them kill you without a fight.”_

          He was silent for a moment as he looked at me, his eyes slowly working their way down my face. He smiled softly and I could see now that his eyes were wet but not enough to form real tears. We stopped in front of the doors and he took his opportunity. I inhaled sharply as Ryan stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was desperate and pleading, and I could feel the fear make his breath tremble as he pulled away reluctantly.

          “They’re not going to let me live Little Dove,” he said in the old elven dialect my mother had taught us.

          “Why?” I hissed back. “Even you let Michael go. Why wouldn’t he let us go?”

          Ryan looked down at his bound hands as the men beside us stepped forward to strike us for using a language they didn’t understand, but Gavin held up his hand and stopped them. It occurred to me that he might understand us, but at this point I didn’t care. It had never crossed my mind that they wouldn’t let us go like the previous Kings if they couldn’t kill Ryan with an assassin.

          Ryan reached out with his bound hands and held mine tight to calm the panicked shaking that was starting to take over. He laughed darkly before continuing to speak elven.

          “It’s my turn to take care of you Keryna,” he murmured as he gently rubbed his thumbs across my hands. “They won’t let me live _because_ I let Michael live. He came back and over threw me. If he lets me live, I could do the same. And it’s not like I can just promise him I won’t and we can run off and live happily ever after or some shit.”

          “Now calm down my love,” he whispered. “Know that, no matter what happens next, I love you and that all of this was worth having you by my side. You made this paranoid madman relax for a little while, and all the wealth in this kingdom wouldn’t be able to repay you for what you’ve given me.”

          The shaking stopped, but now I was crying and could feel his faint trembling through his fingers. We each took deep fortifying breaths and manage to calm ourselves the same way we would before a major battle. He didn’t _want_ to die, but no one ever did, and he was just as scared as I was but we couldn’t be afraid. We both took our positions knowing the dangers that came with it and even though we both had something to live for now that we hadn’t anticipated when we swore ourselves to the task, at least we could face this together.

          “I love you too,” I murmured before leaning in for one _last_ kiss.

          Ryan must have had the same thought because we lingered there, too afraid to break away because that would mean we would have to say good-bye. He tasted like the sweetest desert and felt like a cool stream on a hot summer day, or a hot bath on a chilly winter evening. I memorized the way his nose felt pressed against my cheek, the softness of his lips, and the way he nuzzled me as he pulled away. It was all that was keeping me sane right now, and it would be all that would keep me from breaking in the future. I would cling to these sensations like a child to a stuffed bear, because the day I forgot what it was like to be loved by my King was the day I forgot what it was like to live.

          Ryan turned to face the doors and his fate, but I took a moment to look at Gavin and at least acknowledge that he let us have this moment rather than forcing us out the door. I gave him a terse nod, and the knot in my throat only grew when I saw that his eyes were full of pity. He quickly stepped past us and stood beside Michael, casting one last sorrowful glance our way before nodding to the former king.

          The crowd fell silent the moment the doors opened, thinking that the ceremony was about to begin, but whispers and startled gasps washed through the crowd as they saw who was leading the way. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and looked out into the crowd as Ryan and I were positioned front and center. My mother was out there somewhere, and my treacherous step-father, but I prayed that she didn’t have a good view. I never promised Ryan I wouldn’t try to stop them from killing him, but if the ache in my chest got any worse, I might find myself doing it just to ease the pain. Ryan and I were pushed to our knees and all I could do was stare down at my hands. I rolled my wrists to try to return blood flow to my numb fingers, but their color was normal and I sighed as the ache in my chest mirrored the dull throbbing in my fingertips.

          “Hello Achievement City!” Michael began. “I’m glad to see that Haywood didn’t ruin everything I worked so hard to build.”

          I tuned out his speech and instead opted to focus on the world around me. The wind was cool, coming from the north and carrying with it rain clouds that would inevitably bring rain in a few days. I sighed as I thought about the lazy, rainy days that Ryan and I would have spent curled up in his room, no longer worrying about a coup and only worrying about if Meg might walk in on us. I could feel his pillows beneath my head and the soft sheets pulled over my body. I could feel Ryan’s arm around my waist as he refused to let me go and start our day.

          I opened my eyes and looked over at my King, because he would always be my King, and I started to commit his figure to memory. Broad shoulders held straight and dignified despite the fact that he was on his knees before his people, blond hair blowing in the wind now that it was free of his crown, crystal blue eyes trained… right back at me.

          I stopped my observations and focused on them instead. The adoration in his eyes wasn’t masked anymore, and the sad smile he wore only further broke his Mad King façade. A single tear fell down his cheek as he slowly blinked and his body gave in to the resignation he was feeling. He sagged a little and his eyes dimmed as he watched me, making sure that I was the last thing he saw.

          “Awe,” Michael’s voice cooed, pulling me away from the imaginary world where I could sit here forever with Ryan. “Look at them. I’m sure everyone’s heard about the Mad King and his guard by now. She’s got him so lovestruck that he doesn’t even care what happens to himself, just as long as she stays safe.”

          I grit my teeth and swallowed my urge to stand and fight Michael. To silence him by cutting out his tongue. He was doing this on purpose. He was trying to break me before he killed Ryan, so that he could make Ryan watch me crumble, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. I let out a long breath through my nose and cooled the anger that was fighting with the ache in my chest.

          “They got to say their good-byes before we stepped out here,” Michael continued. “Touching really. They even spoke in an elven dialect that is almost dead. Almost. I just want to clear something up, but first. Face each other already, you’re going to hurt your necks looking to the side like that.”

          I glared up at him and Ryan even hesitated for a moment before complying. Once we were positioned how he wanted us to be, Michael started to slowly pace around us while he spoke, the tip of his drawn sword gently tapping on the stone landing of the castle.

          “You’re absolutely right Haywood. I wouldn’t have let you live. You need to pay for your crimes, for the brutality that you made your people endure while you sat atop your bloody throne, but also because you _could_ come out of exile and try to over throw Gavin and continue your reign of terror. But then you let something else happen.”

          “You see Haywood, the only thing more dangerous than a disgraced king, is a beloved champion. You could try to build an army for the rest of your life, and never come up with enough to take back the throne. But Keryna? She’s the people’s champion! The woman who survived nightshade and was able to tame the Mad King! She could get an army to fight for her in no time!”

          My entire body went numb and Michael laid his hand on the top of my head and Ryan’s pupils blew out in horror. Kerry and Gereth stepped forward to restrain him as he tried to get to me and the latter covered his mouth before he could scream. My mouth opened as if to say something that would make him relax, but all I could muster was a sad smile as the tables turned and I was the one staring at him trying to make sure he was the last thing I saw.

          “So here’s what I’m going to do,” Michael said loudly. “The champion has to go. I can’t have her running around and starting rebellions against my friend, but you _King Ryan._ You will be kept alive and left to rot in your own dungeons. You’ll live out the rest of your natural life thinking about everything you did to your kingdom, to your people, and how all of that led to this moment. How all your arrogance and cruelty led to the death of the woman you love.”

          Tears were streaming down Ryan’s cheeks and he had managed to get his hands free of the ropes that had bound his wrists together. They were raw and bleeding as he reached out for me with one hand and the other struggled against Kerry’s grip.

          My body shuddered as Michael’s blade found a gap in my dress armor and the cold iron pressed into my skin. I took one deep breath and closed my eyes, going back to the rainy day I had imagined earlier. Safe, warm, loved. Ryan’s sleepy eyes mirroring his tired smile as he held me under the covers just a little longer before we needed to go about our duties.

          “No! Keryna! _Keryna!”_ Ryan’s anguished cry rang out and shattered my perfect moment. Each word broke him more and his voice cracked as he screamed for me.

          Out of instinct, I opened my eyes and as soon as I locked gazes with Ryan, the world around me came to a halt.

          Except for the sickening feeling of Michael’s sword passing through my body.

          I felt no pain, even the ache in my chest was gone, and I couldn’t hear Ryan’s scream even though I could see his body tremble from the force of it. I felt an odd sensation, something close to release but not pleasant, and my body shook for a moment as it passed. Time moved slowly as Michael’s sword, dripping with blood _my blood,_ came into view and cut my bonds and Ryan was released. I tried to breathe again, but something caught in my throat and I started to cough.

          That was when the pain hit me. Each cough racked me with blinding pain and I could feel the path Michael’s blade had taken in excruciating detail. He had pushed down from the gap on my shoulder, somehow missing my heart and slicing through my lungs and everything below them. I started to tip forward, the pain becoming too much for me to deal with upright when a familiar pair of arms wrapped around me.

          Ryan pulled me into his lap and held me to his chest, cradling me as he continued to shake. Slowly my hearing crept back, but I didn’t want it to because all I could hear was Ryan sobbing my name. His nails dug into me as I involuntarily relaxed into him. The pain was still incredible, but I could feel the tension leaving me despite it and I let my head rest against his shoulder.

          “I love you,” I muttered, my voice hoarse and afraid.

          “I love you too,” he croaked as he looked down at me.

          I smiled as my eyes drifted shut and the pain faded into a cool nothingness that left me feeling like I was floating. Something deep within me clung to my remaining senses, clung to Ryan, and I held on to his smell as I drifted into a black sea of nothingness. His voice was the last thing I heard before I drifted away.

          “I’m so sorry Little Dove. Please don’t leave me. _Keryna?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... I'm sorry. I cried like a baby writing this to be 100% honest. But all is not lost. Then next few chapters are going to be a little different. They're going to change POV and there will be some time jumps but don't worry, I'll make sure that the POV and time frame is very clear.  
> I'll see you all very soon with more updates.


	23. A Mother's Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter from Keryna's mother's, Nady'a, POV.

          The word had gotten out and infected the town by nightfall last night. The Mad King had fallen in love with his guard. They had walked through the castle hand in hand and there was _no doubt_ that they were going to be all over each other at the celebration tonight. I had been planning on being coy and later tonight asking them when I took the title of Queen Mother. They could say that they didn’t want to get married all they wanted, but I knew what was instore for them. I had said the same thing with Benson, and I regretted it every day since the morning he left my bed for the last time.

          So when they were walked out bound and beaten, the crowd went from a nervous excitement that had never been present at the Mad King’s coronation ceremony to a horrified silence and I felt my heart breaking for my daughter and son-in-law. I could tell by the resignation in Ryan’s eyes that his men had been bribed out from under him. He had lost everything that was important to him. His army. His Kingdom. His power and authority.

          Everything except for Keryna. He looked at her with unhidden reverence and I could tell that, even disgraced and humiliated as he was, he was still happy that she was beside him. Michael spoke, explaining that he was helping his friend take back the land that rightfully belonged to his people, but I watched the two lovers say their silent last good-byes. I wasn’t naive enough to believe that Ryan would be allowed to live out his life in exile, but in my heart I hoped they would just so that Keryna could have the happy life I never had.

          I tried to move forward so that I could hold my baby and take her away from them before they could do anything to her too, but Leilan took a hold of my wrist and no matter how hard I fought he wouldn’t let go. Even as the blood in my body ran cold and I thrashed around to get to her before Michael could touch her anymore. I muffled my sobs with my hand as Ryan screamed and tried to throw the two men holding him, and my heart felt like it was torn out of my chest as the courtyard echoed with his pleas for her life. I don’t know what shook me more; the sight of Michael’s sword slipping into her so smoothly, or Ryan’s scream of anguish that sent birds in the forest flying away.

          Leilan didn’t let go of my wrist until Michael had removed his sword. I shoved my way through the crowd as Ryan’s screams drowned out even a couple thousand horrified murmurs. I was trembling as I made my way up the castle stairs where my little girl was dying in her lover’s arms. He was cradling her in his lap and cooing her name through heavy sobs and thick tears. Her eyes were already glassing over as I knelt down in front of Ryan, and blood flowed from her mouth as she tried to focus on him.

          “I love you.”

          I clamped both hands over my mouth to keep myself from drowning out anything she said to him. If she had noticed me, she didn’t show it, and I wasn’t going to be selfish and take this moment from him.

          “I love you too.”

          Keryna’s soft smile only made him shake more and he murmured apologies as he covered her face with tear-soaked kisses.

          “I’m so sorry Little Dove,” he moaned as she heaved one last breath. “Please don’t leave me. _Keryna?”_

          He began to tremble as he held his breath, waiting for her chest to rise again but it never did. He looked up at me, his eyes begging for forgiveness as words escaped him. I reached out as brushed the hair away from Keryna’s face and a sob caught in my throat at how cold she was already.

          “I’m so sorry Nady’a,” Ryan whispered.

          I couldn’t move or acknowledge his apology. I didn’t blame him for what happened. This was always what she knew would happen, even before they fell in love, but it didn’t make me feel better. I was still numb and heart broken.

          “Take her Nady’a,” he murmured as he let his grip on her loosen. “Take her before they can do anything more to her. Take her far away from here.”

          I gingerly took her from him and started to stand, hesitantly looking around to see if anyone was going to stop me.  A familiar face appeared from the crowd and motioned for me to follow him. Jeremy, the castle apothecary that had helped us save her after the Pit fight, ushered me away as Gereth and his father stood Ryan up and started to strip him of his armor. Jeremy guided me around the crowded courtyard as Ryan grunted in pain and a few, sick cheers rose from the stunned crowd. I didn’t speak until we arrived at the back entrance.

          “Where are we going?” I asked as he turned back towards the stables after finding a place for me to hide.

          “I have a cottage in the East about a half day’s ride from here,” he said quietly, wincing as more cheering echoed off the high castle walls. “I can… I can preserve her there. Or prepare her how ever you think she would prefer.”

          I nodded numbly as I held Keryna to my chest. The elven custom was to cremate the body and scatter the ashes somewhere special to them so that they could return to the earth with happy memories. When Jeremy came back with his horse and Deriny’a, the grey mare nuzzled Keryna and huffed sadly as the beast’s head visibly drooped.

          “Jeremy, do you know where the King’s hunting cabin is?” I asked as we wrapped Keryna in her cloak and laid her in the saddle.

          “Sorta. Why?”

          “Just wondering.”


	24. A Crown of Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shortie from Ryan's POV

_“Keryna?”_

I didn’t even sound like myself anymore. The Mad King was long gone, broken and cast aside the moment Michael laid his damn hands on her, and he was replaced by the trembling husk that I felt like. My voice was pleading, as if begging for her to stay with me was enough to make the Gods let go of her. I clung to her as she shook with one last breath and I waited for another, but she was gone.

Her cheeks were already pale and my lips were greeted with cold, harsh reality as I kissed her temple. _She was gone._ I looked up at Nady’a, giving her a weak apology, and felt the guilt flow through me like tar as she simply reached out to touch her daughter. We couldn’t save her, she wasn’t going to come back in a few days like last time, and it was my fault. I had done this to her. If I had never given in and fallen so deeply for her, she might be alive still. She could have gone home, albeit heartbroken, and lived on without me for the rest of her long life. But no. She paid for my crimes and it was more than I could take.

“Take her Nady’a,” I murmured, forcing my arms to relax and let her mother take her from me. From the reason she was even gone. “Take her before they can do anything more to her. Take her far away from here.”

My body screamed as Nady’a nodded and took my little dove away. More tears fell down my cheeks as I trembled, my body desperate to hold her again but my mind telling me to let go. But I couldn’t just _let go._ I had been ready to die so that maybe she could move on and save someone else like she had saved me from myself, and now I was alone.

Hands grabbed me around my shoulders and lifted me to my feet as I numbly stared after the retreating figures. I was grateful that no one stopped them, and that Jeremy had appeared to lead Nady’a away. He would help her put Keryna to rest. I had known him for years. He was the one who gave me Keryna’s book of fire magic. He was there to cast the stasis spell and buy Nady’a and I time to cure Keryna’s nightshade poisoning. Jeremy wasn’t well liked because of his past dabbling with… _darker magics,_ but he was an incredibly talented man who was invaluable to me. There wasn’t anyone else I’d want to help Nady’a though this.

My body jerked around as I was stripped of my armor and iconic tartan. Once I was nothing more than a common man in tunic and trousers, a fist broke through my numbness.

I grunted in brief pain as Lancaster punched me in the gut, but it quickly faded into the growing hole in my chest. A few people cheered as the Mad King finally got what was coming to him, and as more punches landed, more and more people cheered until it seemed like everyone forgot what had just happened to Keryna. They beat me until I was laying on the ground bleeding and swollen on the doorstep of my own home.

But I still only felt guilt. Michael was right; I had done this to her. I couldn’t have known this when I was reveling in my power all those years ago, but it was still my fault. I let her in. I let her get close to me and I let myself believe that loving her could save my reputation as much as it had saved my mind.

And I let her die. I let them get to her, and I let them take her away from me. From her mother. I let them take her future from her. She acted like she didn’t want it, and I didn’t want her in any more danger than she already was, but she would have made an excellent queen. The people loved her, and she loved them. She loved this city and this Kingdom. She had fought in my army to protect everyone within my boarders. And I let her die in my arms while I blubbered like a fool.

The dungeon floor was cold and unforgiving as I was tossed unceremoniously into a cell and locked in the room that was bound to be my home until the day I died.

“Here are some clothes for you to change into,” Kerry said coolly as he threw old, ratty clothes through the bars. “Unless you want to keep wearing the clothes soaked in Keryna’s blood. Everyone mourns in their own way, and I guess being covered in blood is your default anyway.”

“Why Kerry?” I hissed as I knelt on the floor. “What did I… what did _she_ do to deserve this?”

“You fell in love Ryan,” Kerry shrugged. “You let her far enough in that it wasn’t enough to just kill you anymore. She became a problem because you grew a heart.”

“Why couldn’t you just let me change? Why couldn’t you let her fix me?”

“Because it was too late. You had done too much damage. No amount of love and compassion can change the fact that you killed thousands of innocent people in the name of holding the throne.”

“They weren’t innocent!” I roared.

The all too familiar feeling of falling took my breath away and my body tensed up as rage exploded through me. I felt an uncontrollable need to reach through the bars and rip Kerry’s head off. My teeth were bared and my trembling fingers curled up into claws. I was falling back into my pit of insanity, but Keryna wasn’t here to pull me back and I felt my throat rumble with a primal growl. When I looked up at Kerry, he flinched away from my gaze like everyone else did. No one could deal with the Mad King like she had, and now there was no one to stop me from giving in to my anger.

“They threatened _my people,”_ I snarled as I stood, shoulders hunched as I stalked towards Kerry. “They pillaged and burned entire villages all to send a message to me. They killed hundreds of innocent women and children in Michael’s name. _Forgive me for withholding mercy.”_

He was backed against the far wall even though I couldn’t reach him from here and I felt my lips curl into a wicked smile as deep inside of me I felt pleasure in his fear.

“See?” Kerry managed to snap back at me. “The moment she’s gone, you’re right back to your old ways.”

“Because she was all that was keeping me from ripping you apart a month ago when we found out about your little plan,” I sneered and I could see his skin prickle. “Because Keryna knew how to keep me from falling back into my habits. And now she’s gone, and I have no reason to hold onto the normalcy she had let me taste. _I hate you Kerry. And you better hope I never get out of here, because I’ll make you suffer. I’ll feed you nightshade until you convulse and burn alive from the inside out. Then I’ll make my way on up the line until I can kill Michael. Slowly, and let him bleed out for all the world to see.”_

I chuckled as Kerry blanched and my laughter grew louder and more unhinged as he fumbled with the heavy door to the dungeons and ran down the hall, leaving the door to slowly close on its own.

“That’s right Shawcross! Run for your life!” I yelled after him through my uncontrollable laughter. “Go and tell your new King what I said! And don’t forget to lock your doors, because I’m coming for you Kerry! I’m coming for all of you! _And you’re all going to pay for what you did!”_

My hysterical laughter echoed through the dungeon, and the few other prisoners cowered in the farthest corners of their cells as I laughed until my throat was raw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise.... It'll all be okay....


	25. 3 Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is third person and now we get to see what has become of the kingdom, of King Gavin, of the Mad King, and of his Little Dove.

          King Gavin sat back in the throne and slouched as he stared off into space. Lancaster took the lead for this meeting, for all council meetings, and once again Gavin was wondering why he was even here. This was his homeland after all, his family had lived on this land for centuries before Geoff stepped in and took it from them, but he felt useless sitting here listening to crop reports. Being King wasn’t all he thought it was cracked up to be and found himself missing the freedom that his merchant lifestyle had provided him. Michael had warned him that it would get boring and tedious, so Gavin was more than willing to let Lancaster deal with it all after Michael had left.

          But that was his mistake and now, a little more than three years later, it was the reason the kingdom was under Lancaster’s control. Gavin was _technically_ still the King, but in his efforts to maintain some semblance of his carefree lifestyle he had given the man too much power, and now Gavin was no more than a figure head for the monarchy. The people didn’t know it, but everyone on the council did and Lancaster either paid for their silence or threatened them into it.

          Gavin wasn’t a complete push over though. He wasn’t strong enough to fight back, or influential enough to gather a force to fight back, but he was crafty enough to find someone who _was_ all those things. Gavin now understood the Mad King’s plight as he had only a small handful of people that he could trust, and as such all he could do was play the naive fool while he waited for his plans to fall into place.

          “I think we need to address the rumors of a rebellion,” Councilman Mery’an coughed nervously.

          “Is it that time of the week already?” Lancaster said with a bored sigh.

          This, Gavin wanted to listen to. Lancaster could ignore it all he wanted, but there _was_ a rebel army coming together outside of the Kingdom’s boarders. It wasn’t a rumor, there were a few of their spies in the castle as they spoke, but to everyone not directly involved it was no more than a rumor.

          Lancaster had ground all trade agreements to a halt and reworked the system to directly benefit himself, leaving all others left to fight over scraps of trade and resources. The people were upset at the high prices of everything, and the scales were constantly tipped in favor of the extravagantly wealthy. King Gavin and the council fought tooth and nail to help the kingdom, but Lancaster had the money to out bribe anything they tried to do.

          So, when the town started to whisper about an army, King Gavin found his way out. For almost a year he had been in contact with the leaders of this rebellion, and he knew that they could take the Kingdom back from Lancaster and restore Ryan to the throne. It took a lot of convincing, but eventually they accepted Gavin’s pleas and agreed to let him go free after the uprising. If it hadn’t been for Meg he may not have gotten through to them but thanks to her, he had a bright future on the road again. Hopefully with her by his side.

          Mery’an opened his mouth to continue, but Lancaster must have had a rough day already because he silenced the elf before he would even get a word in.

          “I’m tired of hearing about the rebellion,” Lancaster grumbled. “We don’t need to be afraid of a couple defectors that are stirring up a fuss outside the Kingdom. They’re just a few of the Mad King’s former generals trying to bring back the tyrant who let them get away with war crimes.”

          Councilwoman Henderson winced and looked sick as her lips curled into a snarl.

          “Luna and McCormick _are not_ war criminals,” she spat. “They both have spotless records and, if anything, they helped control the Mad King by talking him down. They weren’t as good at it as Keryna, but they could make him see that some of his more extreme plans weren’t worth the consequences.”

          King Gavin wasn’t the only one who winced at the mention of her name, and he felt an ache in his fingertips as he remembered what he had facilitated. The moment they started to speak in Ardonian, Gavin felt like he was making a mistake. Very few elves still used that language, and to hear them speak it meant that they had just as much right to this land as he did. His stomach churned as the former King’s anguished scream echoed through his mind. He hoped beyond measure that the rumors were true, and that maybe he could bury that guilt away and sleep better knowing that he had only separated them temporarily.

          “They were his lackeys either way,” Lancaster grunted. “They’re still just a rag-tag bunch of men that ran when they should have stayed to serve the Kingdom.”

          He was right about that. Within the first six months of his reign, King Gavin lost almost a fifth of his army because of the coup. They weren’t happy to see Keryna, their friend and sister-in-arms, be so brutally taken from them and they left as soon as General Luna walked out. General McCormick wasn’t too far behind and took another group of soldiers with him. Between their combined forces and everyone else that sided with their cause, Gavin knew they had upwards of three thousand armed and loyal soldiers with them outside the border as well as another thousand that were ready to switch sides once the army invaded.

          “It’s not just them though,” Councilwoman Ciecil sighed as she sat back in her chair.

          “Not this ghost story again,” Lancaster groaned. “It’s impossible. It’s physically impossible. You were all there. You saw her die. Who ever this ‘Corrupt Commander’ is, they can’t possibly be Stormborne.”

          “Tall half-elf, long ashen hair, pale violet eyes ringed with black,” Henderson shrugged. “I saw her fall too Lancaster, but that’s too similar to Keryna for me to just blow off. I mean, who else would be trying to amass an army to take the Kingdom? No random half-elf who simply wanted King Gavin gone would have been able to talk Luna and McCormick into something like this.”

          “If it is Keryna, she’s not coming back for the Kingdom,” Ciecil hummed. “She’s coming back for _him.”_

          King Gavin shuddered as the Mad King was quietly mentioned, as if just uttering his name would cause his demented laughter to echo through the halls. Gavin hadn’t been to see him personally in a little over eighteen months, because the last time he tried the Mad King just smiled evilly and told him to eat shit and fuck off… in much harsher words. Kerry said that killing Keryna was the final straw for him, and any semblance of the man that she had started to coax out was gone forever, but Meg insisted that Ryan was still there. He was very broken, but he was there and using the Mad King to push people away.

          “Your majesty? Tell them they’re being foolish.”

          Lancaster’s order shocked him, and his surprised stammering only aided in his weak façade even though it wasn’t intentional.

          “Th-they’re only rumors after all,” King Gavin said finally. “No one’s actually _seen_ this supposed army. It’s all talk and no facts.”

          He was lying, but the others seemed to buy it for now. Gavin knew the army existed. In fact, Meg would be returning tonight from her rendezvous with them. They were moving in for the invasion, Gavin knew that much, but anything more would have to wait until he could talk to Meg in private. If anyone would be able to tell if the Commander was truly Keryna, it was going to be Meg. This realization made his stomach feel light and he had to fight the urge to bounce in his throne.

          Every day he regretted what he had done. What he allowed to happen to the Kingdom, to Ryan, to Keryna. And now he was going to finally have the chance to redeem himself by putting the rightful King back on the throne.

          Gavin’s anticipation only grew as the day wore on, and as he watched the sun set from the balcony of the Mad King’s room he was practically vibrating. Meg had insisted that he make one of the guest rooms his chambers rather than take over the Mad King’s room. She said that as long as he was in the castle, it would be ready for him should he get free and need the comfort and familiarity. The rest of the staff treated the room like it was cursed, so he and Meg used it as a secret meeting area. They met with McCormick’s spies in the study and often fell asleep in the chairs by the fire.

          Gavin turned around and looked into the red filled room and sighed. Meg said that she had spent many hours in this room with the King and his guard and she watched their relationship bloom here. Gavin stepped in and shivered as the familiar, almost oppressive, feeling of sadness enveloped him. This room was where they had gone to be together, to shut out the world and just be in love. Even if Meg hadn’t steered him away, Gavin wouldn’t have been able to sleep here. No amount of redecorating could change the fact that this would never be anything but _their_ room.

          Before he could dwell on his guilt for too long, the door slowly creaked open and a familiar, red haired elf slipped in.

          “Turney!” King Gavin cheered quietly before scooping her up into a tight hug and kissing her forehead.

          “I missed you too Gavvy,” she giggled back and cuddled up into his chest.

          “Everything go okay?” Gavin hummed with concern. “Did you run into any problems? Kerry left shortly after you did and I haven’t seen him since. I was afraid he had followed you.”

          “Oh, he did,” Meg nodded, putting her finger to Gavin’s lips before he could squawk with worry. “But he was caught and uh… _taken care of.”_

          “What do you mean?” Gavin hissed through her finger.

          “I’ll explain everything, but Ryan needs to hear this too.”

          “So, it’s true?”

          Meg didn’t say a word, just took Gavin’s hand and led him through the servant’s passages and down to the dungeon. As they approached the heavy door that separated Ryan’s cell from the rest of the prison, the hair on Gavin’s arms stood on end and he found himself lagging behind Meg as she pushed the door open.

          “Come on Gavin,” she hissed, waving her hand towards the door.

          “But he doesn’t like me,” Gavin whimpered as he stepped back. “I can’t blame the bastard though. Maybe I should just wait back in my room and you can tell me later.”

          “No,” Meg said firmly as she grabbed his wrist and tugged him into the room. “I’m tired from my journey and I want to go to sleep as soon as possible, so you’re going to toughen up and deal with him for a bit so I only have to tell this story once.”

          This area was meant for long term and high priority prisoners, but the other cells were empty because no one wanted to be near the Mad King. Even the guards who were supposed to bring him his food only stayed as long as necessary before all but running away. For three long years the Mad King had lived alone in his cell, his only company being Meg who tried to find the time to visit at least once a week. He had managed to collect a few creature comforts like a good blanket and a dirty but usable pillow. The room was dimly lit by a couple torches, and even Meg and Gavin’s sharp eyes could barely see the dark figure laying on the cot with his back to them.

          Gavin swallowed hard as Meg cautiously approached the bars that separated him from them. He looked up at the barely flickering torches and focused on how good it felt to see Meg again. Once he could feel the bubble of warmth in his chest, he extinguished the torches but immediately replaced them with bright orbs of golden light. Meg looked back at him with a sweet smile as the man on the cot stirred in the now brightly lit room.

          His cold blue eyes fixated on Gavin first, making the current King squirm and step back against the door. Once he was confident that he had properly terrified the poor man, the Mad King’s eyes softened and moved to Meg as he slowly sat up and rubbed his face.

          “Been busy?” the former King rumbled as he stretched his legs.

          “Been gone,” Meg corrected. “I went to go visit the rebels.”

          This caught his attention and immediately he perked up. His smile shone in the bright lights Gavin had created and the elven King did his best not to shudder as the Mad King sent a knowing glare his way.

          “Are we going to have a new King soon?” Ryan grinned as he stood. “Should your lover start sleeping with one eye open?”

          “Fucking drop it Ryan!” Meg snapped as Gavin bristled with anger.

          The Mad King looked at Meg with poorly hidden shock as she took deep breaths to calm herself before continuing.

          “I know you have plenty of reasons to hate him Ryan,” she said calmly as he stood still with his hands clasped behind his back. “But I love Gavin. He’s a victim in all this too. I know that doesn’t excuse what happened but I’ve forgiven him for his mistakes and after I tell you what I’ve learned, I think you just might too.”

          The Mad King’s chest heaved and the wild look in his eyes swirled violently as the idea of forgiving Gavin for what happened to Keryna made him tremble with rage, but Meg stayed firm and even though her heart leapt into her throat she held the Mad King’s gaze. After a long few minutes, he took a deep breath and the swirling rage stilled as Ryan walked up to Meg. He rested his head between two bars and gripped them so that his hands could stop shaking. His eyes softened and watered as he looked over Meg’s face.

          “I’m sorry,” he whispered to her. “I know you love him, but I- I just- I have a hard time getting past what happened.”

          His eyes fell to the floor as Meg gently ran a hand through the Mad King’s now shoulder length hair.

          “I know you do Ryan,” Meg murmured back. “But there’s something I learned that you need to hear.”

          “It’s her Ryan,” Meg smiled as a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s a long story, but the Corrupt Commander is Keryna. I saw her with my own two eyes. She’s alive.”

          Ryan looked lost for a moment and Gavin was too amazed to care that he was within reach of the Mad King as he stepped forward to touch Meg.

          “Are you sure?” Gavin whispered, his voice echoing the disbelief in Ryan’s eyes.

          “Positive,” Meg nodded, scrubbing the tears from her eyes. “She has the nightshade scars and everything. She was able to describe the King’s room in great detail and she damn near cried when I told her about Ryan’s retreat into the Mad King.”

          The man in question shuddered and fell to his knees as his eyes glazed over.

          “Keryna,” he whispered and looked up at Meg with tears in his eyes. “She’s really alive.”

          “She is,” Meg grinned. “Alive and just as I remember her. I should warn you though, Miles and Shannon have taken a liking to her. They might start following her orders rather than yours once everything is back in place.”

          “They would,” Ryan snorted, and Gavin couldn’t help but notice that he looked ten years younger when he smiled like this.

          “You know what they’ve started calling her?” Meg continued with a sly smirk.

          “Some version of ‘Mrs. Haywood’?” Ryan sighed with an eye roll as his shoulders relaxed.

          “Close,” Meg giggled. “No. Miles called her the ‘Corrupted Queen’ and I swear she was going to light him on fire right there in the middle of the tent.”

          Ryan chuckled, but it lacked the malice and hatred that Gavin was used to. It was actually kind of… _nice._

          “She’s going to hate me,” Ryan smiled happily. “But I’m going to use that. _The Mad King and his Corrupted Queen._ I like it.”

          “Well,” Meg huffed as she crossed her arms in front of her. “You’ll have the opportunity to try it out in person, because she’s coming. She has a few good generals: Miles Luna, Shannon McCormick, and a man named Jack Patillo. She has thousands of men under her command, and now that she has confirmation that Gavin will step down without a fight and that you’re alive and well, she’s marching towards Achievement City as we speak.”

          “How soon?” Ryan asked as he stood, and Gavin reflexively straightened as the air around Ryan shifted.

          Suddenly it no longer felt haunted and terrifying in here with him. It was replaced with an air of unwavering authority and cool confidence. Gavin felt the excitement flow back through his veins as he watched the tired, dirty man become a King before his eyes. Ryan exuded excitement and eagerness as well. He was ready to take back his Kingdom and fix all the shit Meg told him Lancaster ruined.

          “I’m not sure,” Meg shook her head. “Keryna said she still needed time to secure supplies and finalize a plan, but she told me to expect her within the next two weeks.”

          “How will we know when she’s here?” Gavin asked.

          “Oh,” Ryan smirked. “She’ll make herself known. If she has a plan and is confident in its success, she’s going to make it a spectacle. She’s going to make sure that everyone in this city knows that she’s back before she’s even looked at the castle.”

          “How _is_ she back?” Gavin asked as he squinted at Meg. “She… _she died._ There is no questioning it.”

          “Well,” Meg said as her eyes darted over to Ryan. “Jeremy… he’s experienced in blood and dark magic. Said he was in a cult of some kind…”

          “Order of the Ender Dragon,” Ryan nodded. “They’re a group of people that live in the Stronghold. Jeremy apparently upset the Elder and was told to leave the order. He didn’t tell me what for, but I’ve seen him perform some… _questionable magic._ He’s pulled people back from death before my eyes. But they were dead only a matter of minutes before he revived them, Keryna had to have been gone for hours by the time he could properly perform any kind of ritual, much less that one.”

          “Are you _sure_ it’s Keryna in there?” Ryan asked through a lump in his throat, the hope in his eyes wavering. “It maybe her body, yes, but her spirit should have been long gone.”

          “If it’s not her, it’s an exact replica of her, because I have absolutely no reason to believe that she’s any different than before other than her eyes.”

          “What’s wrong with her eyes?” Gavin asked. “Did the black spread?”

          “No, the outer rim of her iris’ are a darker purple than before,” Meg explained. “Almost like the color of a nether portal.”

          “Is she-” Ryan choked on his words and had to swallow before he could try again. _“Is she cold?”_

          “No,” Meg said with a thoughtful shake of her head. “No. I hugged her and she felt like a normal person. Her cheeks flushed when Miles would tease her and chocolate melted in her hands. I asked Jeremy to explain what he did, but he just scrunched up his face and told me that it was complicated and involved a lot of blood…”

          “Well,” Ryan sighed with a slight amount of concern. “If you _say_ she’s no different and if I agree with you once she gets here… Well, I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

          Gavin looked at Meg thoughtfully as she chuckled at Ryan’s conclusion. It was a bit repulsive to think about, that Keryna might just be a warm zombie, but if he was in Ryan’s shoes, Gavin would probably say the same thing if it meant he could have Meg back. And judging by the blissful and dreamy look Ryan had in his eyes as he imagined having his lover back, he was more than willing to deal with the repercussions if it meant he could hold her again.

          “Wait,” Gavin said with a shake of his head as he remembered something. “You said Kerry followed you but was taken care of. What happened? Is he gonna show up and blow the whole plan?”

          Meg licked her lips and looked at her feet.

          “He was caught snooping around camp the night after I arrived,” Meg explained as she reached into her cloak. “They brought him to face Keryna and well, she’s got a little Mad King in her because _this_ is all that is left of him. She told me to give it to you as an apology gift. For taking so long to return to you.”

          She pulled out a small drawstring bag and held it out to Ryan. He cautiously took it from her and slowly opened it, holding it away from his face before peering into it. His eyes widened and a shocked smile spread across his face.

          “I see she’s gotten better with her fire magic,” Ryan smirked as he turned the bag over.

          Two fistfuls of ash poured out onto the floor and Gavin watched slack jawed. He remembered their fight in the hallway on Coronation Day. Her step-father had warned them that she was practicing, but the malicious grin she wore as she blasted a large fireball at them still caught him off guard. He could still smell the singed hair and uncomfortable warmth. She was powerful for only a few months’ worth of training. It had taken Gavin years to get to the point where he could make a shield large enough for his whole body, he could only imagine what three years had allowed her to master.

          “She said she didn’t want to make the same mistake twice,” Meg sighed as she stared down at the pile of dust at Ryan’s feet.

          “I have no doubt that she’ll be prepared this time around,” Ryan said wistfully as he bit his lip, running a hand through his hair before gasping. “I look absolutely disgusting, don’t I?”

          Gavin couldn’t help but laugh and even Meg snorted and let out a few good belly laughs.

          “I’ll come down with a bucket so you can wash up and I’ll cut your hair,” Meg giggled.

          “What?” Ryan snapped. “I don’t want to look like a piece of shit when I retake my throne!”

          “You mean you don’t want to look bad compared to your Queen,” Gavin snickered.

          Ryan glared at the current King, but Gavin didn’t shy away. The glare didn’t carry enough weight to be intimidating, even if Ryan _wasn’t_ blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this had been an interesting week lol. I felt so bad for Coronation Day that I couldn't keep these chapters away and release them one week at a time. As such, I'll be back on my Wednesday schedule next week. I told you that hope still existed. And it's coming back to Achievement City.


	26. Approaching Army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sheeeeeeeee's baaaaaaaaaaaack

          I slowed Deriny’a to a halt as I crested the hill and my body tingled with emotion as my home sprawled out before me. It had been three long years, but the expanse of wheat fields were just as I remembered. In the distance I could see Achievement City, a small dot on the horizon that didn’t look like anything more than a simple landmark against the setting sun from here, but I knew that it was there and that was enough to make me shudder.

          I held my hand high above my head and closed it into a tight fist. Behind me, soldiers stopped marching and waited for my command. Jack, Miles, and Shannon stopped beside me and looked out over the fields.

          “Feels good to be home,” Miles sighed.

          “It really does,” I sighed back as the pull in my chest strengthened now that I could see the city.

_I was so close to him. So close that I had half a mind to take off on my own just so I could see him again._

          The pull turned into a dull ache as my nose was filled with his scent. I could feel him in my arms and hear his heartbeat. My breathing shuddered and Shannon chuckled beside me.

          “Meg’s back in the castle by now,” he smirked. “Ryan knows you’re coming for him.”

          “I know,” I smiled.

          “He’s probably already planning how he wants to mount Lancaster’s head over the mantle,” Miles hummed.

          “It is _not_ going over the fireplace,” I snapped. “I refuse to sleep in a room where he could be looking at me. Even with glass eyes.”

          “Sure,” Miles pretended to whisper. “ _Sleeping_ is what she’s concerned about him seeing. _Not_ all the hot se-”

          “Shut your mouth Miles,” I warned, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye and trying not to smile.

          “I’m sorry,” Miles grinned. “Did I say something wrong, _my Queen?”_

          I growled and rolled my eyes before turning to Jack. He coughed loudly as he tried to wipe the smile off his face, but I had caught him snickering and I hummed with irritation even though I wasn’t all that upset. It was the principle that mattered.

          “Jack,” I huffed. “We’re stopping here for the night. Pass this along as you go through and help set up camp: Don’t be afraid to get comfortable. We’ll be here all day tomorrow. We’ll wait until Shannon’s spies regroup with us and if they have nothing worrisome to report, we leave late tomorrow night so that we can take Achievement City early in the morning.”

          “Yes, _Queen Commander,”_ Jack nodded with extra emphasis.

          He winked at me as my jaw dropped and Miles laughed hard enough that almost fell off his horse. My face exploded with color as I turned my head back towards the valley below.

          “Fuck,” Miles giggled. “That’s a good one. I’m gonna use that.”

          “She’s not even fighting it anymore,” Shannon teased.

          “Because fighting it only makes you do it more,” I sighed and rolled my eyes.

          “So you’re knowingly depriving us of our entertainment?” Miles gasped as his hand flew up to his chest in mock hurt.

          “What a tyrant,” Shannon said in his best deadpan.

          “No wonder Ryan ran off to the outskirts once he was given command,” I grumbled. “He was trying to get as far away from you two as possible.”

          “He probably calls me the instigator, but Ryan was just as much of a shithead as I am,” Shannon smirked. “He was just a little subtler with his methods.”

          “Oh?”

          “Did he ever tell you about the incident with the giant at the Baby Dragon?”

          “The one where Miles was making eyes at a girl from across the tavern and told off the big guy so that he could make moves on the guy’s sister?”

          “That’s what he told you?” Miles exclaimed as Shannon burst with laughter.

          “That _is_ what he would tell you,” McCormick chuckled. “No. What actually happened was _Ryan_ got caught looking, the guy came over and threatened us, Miles stood up for her, and she spent the rest of the night on Miles’ arm.”

          “Rat,” Miles huffed. “I almost got my ass beat because he was too shy to stand up for himself.”

          “That was not a problem when he decided to make moves on me,” I smiled.

          “I’m willing to bet that there wasn’t a tavern full of people looking at him as a twelve-foot-tall behemoth stared him down.”

          “No, we were alone,” I giggled. “But he was trapped in a cabin with me for three days, so I feel like the stakes were just as high.”

          “Lookit our little Rye-Bread,” Miles cooed. “Going from a shy private who was afraid to fight in a bar to confident King who landed himself a woman who could easily kick his ass.”

          “I never once fought him at full strength,” I corrected. “Every time we sparred, he was pulling punches. I could wear him down if all I did was evade, but where’s the fun in that?”

          “Now,” I sighed as I slide down to the ground. “Let’s get camp all set up and relax for a while. We can start planning tomorrow morning after Shannon’s men return.”

          I made my way around the camp, stopping to help set up tents and talk to soldiers as I went. Every face lit up as I walked by, and I was grateful that I had earned their trust. “Zombie Queen” had been my nickname for awhile amongst the foot soldiers, and the hatred and distrust that greeted me when Miles and Shannon gave me command was enough to shake me right to my core. I couldn’t imagine how Ryan dealt with it for twelve years, but after two years being in command of this army I could definitely see how easy it was to forget that each soldier was their own person. Considering the turmoil that he faced in the beginning of his reign that earned him his moniker, I understood how I could slip down that slope as well if I wasn’t repulsed by the idea of everyone hating me.

          So I started making my way through camp, even when they didn’t want me around, and slowly they warmed up to me. I finally cemented my place in their hearts during a particularly rough battle with some very brave bandits. Miles and I had taken some soldiers ahead of the main group to scout, and we were ambushed. I was bleeding by the end of the fight and I could barely focus through the pain as I tried to pull an arrow out of my shoulder. My very human blood dripped down my armor and very real tears fell down my cheeks as one of the soldiers carefully removed the projectile. No one doubted my humanity after that day, and many more battles had only provided more evidence to any remaining nonbelievers. I knew that the citizens of the Kingdom were going to be a much harder sell, but hopefully with the support of the army and my King I could sway them in my favor.

          The red tartan of the Mad King surrounded me, leftovers from their escape from Lancaster’s subtle takeover, as the men and women under my command set up their temporary homes. My old armor had been so thoroughly soaked in my blood on Coronation Day that even the iron plates couldn’t be scrubbed clean, and neither could my psyche. Even if it could be cleaned, just looking at the set made my heart and shoulder ache. So I had donned a new look, something a little more _me._

          I was still my King’s guard, but for now I was wearing my own colors like Miles and Shannon. The Mad King’s bull crest was emblazoned across our chest plates, but that was really the only sign of our loyalty. Once they became commanders, military officials were allowed to wear their own colors as a symbol of their power. Miles’ cloak was a deep, rust red color and the shirt and pants he wore under his armor were the same shade. McCormick’s trousers were a light grey and his tunic was a bright yellow color. I had chosen to wear my past encounters with death as a show of defiance.

          My armor was black, my cloak as well, but I went with a deep purple tunic and open skirt that hung around my leg like my daily armor back at the castle. It was no wonder that “corrupted” was a common descriptor for me, because everything about me made me look like I had been hardened by my “tragic” past.

          The black around my eyes hadn’t faded any more and coupled with the dark purple ring in my iris’, I _did_ look like I had made a deal with the devil just so I could return to my King. But it wasn’t a devil I had dealt with, or at least I wouldn’t call him a devil.

          “Keryna!” his voice called out as I clasped the forearm of the lieutenant I had been talking to.

          I turned my head towards the familiar sound and my eyes quickly found Jeremy even though most of the soldiers towered over him. His deep purple robes fluttered as he ran towards me, bright orange trousers and tunic peeking out from underneath. Some of my men gave him a wide birth, while others just watched him with cautious interest as he made his way to me. They all saw him as a creepy, morbid weirdo that the Mad King had kept locked away under the guise of being the apothecary, but I knew Jeremy was no more a threat to any of them than Miles or Shannon. Jeremy’s illusion magic was unparalleled, and he could rend an entire company of soldiers useless by trapping them in an illusory maze, but he preferred to use his magic to heal the sick and dying rather than cause pain. This sympathy is what had gotten him kicked out of the Order of the Ender Dragon, not his dark methods.

          “Yes Jeremy?” I smiled as he caught his breath.

          “We’ve got your tent all set up and your mother would like to talk to you.”

          I nodded with a hesitant smile before following my savior back the way he came. Jeremy always hung towards the back of the formation, mostly to keep an eye on my mother, but also so he could be ready to fight from any direction. Thinking of my mother made my body ache with guilt, but there was nothing I could do about it now. She had given so much up for me, and I couldn’t take any of it back so I just had to deal with the harsh reality that was the price that was paid for my life.

          I ducked into my tent and smiled wide as my mother slowly crossed the room and gave me the tightest hug she could manage. I wanted to hug her with all my strength, to even come close to repaying her, but if I did I would break her in half. I kissed her cheek and took her hands as we sat down on my bed.

          “Can you see the city?” she murmured as loud as she could.

          “I can,” I smiled. “Or at least I’m telling myself that I can.”

          “Good,” she grinned. “Just a few more days and you can be right back where you belong my little one.”

          I nodded weakly as I looked her over. She was incredibly pale from the stress of being on the road and I could tell by the heavy droop of her eyelids that she wasn’t going to stay up very long after the evening meal. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as the guilt hit me like a galloping horse. She had given up her long life so that I could live. She had all but forced Jeremy to use her elven blood to bring me back from death. For what? So that I could return to my King.

          “I know that look Keryna,” she sighed. “I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t regret my decision. I would give you the last breath in my lungs if it meant you could live. I’m one hundred and fifty-seven years old. I’ve traveled all over, loved as much as my heart can handle and raised a beautiful daughter who has become probably the most powerful woman on this continent. You’ve gotten to see less than thirty summers my little one, and because of your human side you’ll be _lucky_ if you can live to see one hundred more. You have the opportunity to live a life greater than mine could ever be, by the side of a man who loves you to the moon and back. I would be a terrible mother if I _didn’t_ do all I could to bring you back to the people who love you. Who _need_ you.”

          The tears were falling freely now as I buried my face into her shoulder. As much as I longed for Ryan again, sometimes I wondered if losing my mother within my lifetime was worth it. And then I would feel horrible for thinking it was.

          “I love you Mom,” I whimpered into her shoulder.

          “I love you too my darling,” she whispered back and placed a kiss on the crown of my head.

          She talked me down and after a few hours, Jeremy poked his head in to announce that food was ready. After a hearty meal and trading good-nights with my mother, I sat down with Jeremy and my generals to discuss our battle plans.

          “Have your men returned yet Shannon?” I muttered as I looked at the map of Achievement City and the surrounding land.

          “Yes,” he nodded. “They arrived shortly after food was served so I gave them the chance to rest and get their fill. They said that everything is about the same, except that Lancaster is getting nervous. Apparently, he is starting to take the threat of a rebellion seriously.”

          “That _could_ become a problem,” I huffed. “I want the official report from Nag’a as soon as she’s done eating.”

          Shannon nodded and stepped out of the meeting tent to pass my orders onto one of the soldiers waiting just outside. I had been the Commander of this army for two years and it was still a surreal feeling, giving orders and having people follow them. It gave me butterflies and an eerie sense of power. I blinked a few times to clear my mind as Shannon sat back down.

          “If Lancaster is outwardly showing how nervous he is, he’s probably planning something for just in case we become a real threat,” I mumbled as I chewed on my thumb and stared at the table.

          “And we are a real threat,” Miles grinned. “Nag’a will give us a better estimate, but last time I checked: We outnumber them by almost two to one.”

          “We only outnumber them if people defect to our side like we are anticipating,” I corrected. “If Lancaster has had the time to prepare for us, he’s had the time to bribe or threaten people into staying. If he’s done that, it might be a more even match and we could have a serious fight on our hands.”

          “Shannon,” I said as I leaned over the map and stared at the fortifications around the castle. “You have a way to infiltrate the castle right? We’re going to need to get some of ours in there so that we can flush them out into the streets where they can’t hide from us behind thick walls.”

          “I have a few routes yes,” McCormick nodded. “I can have a group of five or six soldiers ready to take each one by the time we leave and with luck Meg and Gavin will have released Ryan so we can have a small army in control of the castle within an hour.”

          “I hope Ryan had been keeping in shape,” Miles snickered. “I bet it’s hard for him to get a good workout in one of those cells. Meg says he’s managed to stay pretty fit, but I can’t help but wonder how his swordplay has suffered during his imprisonment.”

          “I told Meg that I wanted her and Gavin by him at all times so that Gavin could be there to throw up shields if Ryan’s ability to fight has suffered,” I sighed. “He’s gonna fucking hate it if it comes to that, but I need to know that Ryan will be safe no matter what.”

          “Best case scenario is that we can successfully take the castle _and_ Achievement City in one day,” I said firmly as I stood up. “Worst case scenario is that we get there and the entire place has already been burned to the ground. What will most likely happen is that we can get people into the castle and at least set up contact with allies on the inside and take out a good chunk of their fighting forces in the first few days, then after they’re weakened we can march into the city and clear them out.”

          “Jeremy,” I said, looking up at the man as he sat quietly and listened from his chair on the far side of the table. “I want you with one of the parties that will be sneaking into the castle. You know the layout better than most of them and you could easily find Ryan and be able to use your illusions to help clear the castle. You could also be able to help Ryan if Lancaster gets to him before we can and tries to kill him.”

          Jeremy nodded fervently and smiled. Ryan had saved him from persecution and was probably the closest thing Ryan had to a friend before me, so I knew I could count on Jeremy to protect Ryan.

          “Commander?”

          “Come in,” I called out to the voice outside.

          Nag’a walked in and stood at attention next to me as I gave the map one last look before turning towards here.

          “I trust that you all had a safe journey back?” I smiled politely.

          “Yes we did,” she smirked back. “Safe and uneventful.”

          “Good,” I nodded. “Now, what information did you pick up on this adventure into the castle?”

          “Lancaster is as adamant as ever that we don’t exist,” she snorted. “But at the same time he’s starting to hire mercenaries by the wagonful. If I had to guess, there are close to five hundred hired swords camped outside the city.”

          A wave of whispered curses followed her revelation and I sighed heavily as I looked down and started to mark the map.

          “That’s unfortunate news, but nothing we can’t deal with ahead of time,” I said. “What about our insiders? Anything from them?”

          “I spoke with Gavin just before we left, and passed Meg on her way into the city actually, but he says that many of the servants and soldiers are just as unhappy as the general populous and will likely join our cause when we show up or just stay out of the way.”

          “And Ryan?”

          “He’s alive and well,” Nag’a smirked. “I couldn’t get into the portion of the dungeon he’s being kept in, but the guards are just as chatty as I remember them being during my stay. He’s managed to keep his bulk up for the most part and has a reputation for grabbing at guards who get too close. He broke ones nose recently because the dumbass was stupid enough to bad mouth you while standing next to the cell.”

          I couldn’t help but smile and sigh as she spoke about him. My chest filled with butterflies and my fingertips ached to feel him again.

          “You’re dismissed Nag’a,” Shannon smirked.

          “How are you going to keep this up when he’s _actually_ here and right next to you?” Jeremy chuckled. “You can hardly have a conversation that involves him before you go all doe eyed.”

          “He’ll be in charge,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “I’m still just the King’s guard. I’m just doing what I have to in order to break him out of prison and return him to the throne.”

          “Bullshit,” Miles coughed into his hand, clearing his throat before continuing. “You, me, and every man, woman, and child in this Kingdom knows you’re doing this so you can have him back. You’re fighting for Ryan, yes, but you’re not fighting for his right to the throne. You’re fighting for vengeance and love.”

          “An odd mix, but accurate,” Jeremy nodded.

          “What do you want me to say Miles?” I sighed.

          “I want you to admit that everyday since we started this rebellion you’ve thought about marrying him before something happens again and Jeremy can’t use black magic to fix it.”

          I stared as the table as I bit my lip and Miles took advantage of my hesitation.

          “I want you to take a look at everything you’ve done in the last three years and tell me that this is _just_ because Ryan was usurped.”

          “Oh no,” Jack groaned. “Here it comes.”

          “Fuck off Patillo,” Miles snapped before returning his attention to me. “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that the first thing you want to do when you see Ryan again _isn’t_ hug him and never let go. You’re not afraid to tell everyone that you love him, so why are you so afraid of everyone thinking that you’re going to get married? _You’re leading an army into the city in his name damnit!!_ Just give it up Keryna! We’re going to take back the Kingdom by the end of next week, we’re going to put Ryan back on the throne, and you’re going to marry the motherfucker because you want nothing more than to be with him forever.”

          “Marrying him won’t be any different than where we would be now,” I muttered. “It would only make it complicated because I would be Queen _and_ his guard.”

          “Is that it?” Miles huffed. “Are you still hung up on the status thing? Let me tell you something Keryna. King Geoff married one of his generals. King Michael married the woman in charge of the messenger hawks. Fuck! King Gavin is head over heels for _the maid._ You’re place as his guard means just as much as your place in his bed. You don’t have to decide between being Queen and his guard. You can be _both._ If anything, your job as guard would be easier because you’d follow him around as his Queen anyway!”

          “Marriage still wouldn’t change anything,” I said with a shake of my head.

          “Why are you fighting it so hard Keryna?” Jack said softly as Miles practically tore out his hair.

          “Because when he inevitably dies before me, I don’t want to sit in that throne as Queen without him.”

          The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and the silence was heavy enough to weigh on my shoulders just as much as the thought of ruling without him weighed on my heart. Immediately I started shaking as I focused on my breathing and kept from breaking down at the shear mention of being without him again.

          “Keryna,” Jeremy said so softly I wondered if it was my imagination.

          “He’s forty years old,” I murmured. “He’s got another forty before he… _dies,_ and I’ll have an additional sixty years of life after that. I only want to be Queen if he’s there with me, because I couldn’t do this without him.”

          I sank into my chair as my knees were shaking too much for me to stand any longer. The ache in my chest made my breathing raspy and labored and my need to be with him only grew.

          “If we don’t get married, I can disappear and grieve without a problem,” I sniffed. “If we get married… I have to live alone in that castle and look at everything that reminds me of him and put on a happy face for the sake of the Kingdom.”

          My silly dreams of our wedding flashed before my eyes and I felt tears fall down my cheeks as the happy images only made me hurt more. I wanted it. More than I had ever wanted anything else. I wanted to be his in name and spirit and every way the Gods could think of.

          “I want to be his Queen. I want to stand at his side forever,” I hissed. “But I can’t do it without him, and my forever is longer than his.”

          I was so lost in my own mind I didn’t notice that Jeremy had stood up until he was wrapping me in a tight hug. I was shocked, he didn’t usually get this physical, but his warmth was more than welcome and I slowly closed my eyes and leaned into his embrace. I felt Miles’ hand on my leg as he gave me a comforting squeeze just above my knee.

          “Then don’t be Queen once he’s gone,” Jack said after my quiet sobs had lessened. “Geoff abdicated to Ray. You can abdicate to someone else and grieve at your own pace.”

          I sniffled and gave Jeremy a tight hug before letting him go. I mulled over Jack’s suggestion and it didn’t sound like a bad idea.

          “Maybe,” I sighed. “But before I go planning weddings or successors.”

          I pulled my dagger out and tapped a few points on the map.

          “We have a Kingdom to save.”


	27. Knocking on the Door

          The sun had yet to rise as we stared out from the top of the small hill just to the east of Achievement City. I could feel the flicker of every torch my men carried, each one feeling like a gentle ripple across my skin. The heat of a thousand flames to remind me of what I was fighting for. Miles was right, I was fighting to have Ryan back, but I couldn’t deny that a part of me was fighting because of the three thousand men and women who stood behind me. Who were willing to follow me into battle because they believed in me. I turned and looked at the force I had amassed on my own reputation alone. Most of them had backed me even before we began fighting our way back into the Kingdom, and even when they questioned my humanity. I wasn’t sure of what kind of fight we had ahead of us, but I was sure that they would follow me to the end.

          “Shannon, where do you think your infiltrators are?” I whispered as if my voice could carry down the hill and into the mercenary encampment below.

          “Definitely in the castle,” General McCormick replied, the yellow stripe down the middle of his helm gleaming in the light. “It’s way to quiet for them to have been caught, and if I had to guess, they’ve met with Gavin and Meg and are releasing Ryan soon.”

          “Good,” I nodded. “I want them out of the castle with those three before we attack. I can’t risk Lancaster getting his hands on them and using them as leverage.”

          “Even Gavin?” Miles hummed.

          “We wouldn’t be able to do this without Gavin’s cooperation,” I sighed. “Fool of a politician, but his magic is strong and it would be a much more difficult fight if he were against us. He’s been a loyal insider since the beginning and Meg trusts him, so no matter what he did in the past, he’s our ally in the present and an invaluable one at that.”

          “What’s next Commander?” Jack asked, sounding as impatient as I felt.

          “We wait for alarms to go off,” I ordered. “I have no doubt they’ll get noticed while trying to leave. If not because of increased security, it’ll be because Ryan can’t walk out of there without making a few heads roll.”

          I couldn’t help but smile as Miles and Shannon snickered. It had been years since either of them had been around Ryan in any situation, much less one as friends, but they knew him as well as I did and I was comforted to have them by my side. After my time basically alone with Ryan and the year I spent with only Mom, Jeremy, and Jack, there was something oddly bonding about being able to talk about our King with such levity. It was like I had been a part of their group since the start.

          “Shannon,” I smiled. “Spread word among the troops: Be ready at a moment’s notice. When alarms go off, we charge in and take out the mercenary force. Once they’re dealt with, we’ll set up camp in their place and wait to see how they retaliate.”

          He nodded with a sideways glance at the sleeping encampment between us and the city walls. There were more than the five hundred Nag’a had reported, probably closer to eight or nine, and taking them out would be a slightly more difficult task than originally anticipated. I felt a knot of doubt form in my stomach as I thought about all the soldiers I was about to lose. I clenched the reins in my hands as panic started to make me tremble.

          “Keryna,” Miles said softly as he leaned in close and broke me from my spiral. “We’re going to be okay. I know you’re not used to command like this, but death is an unfortunate reality for leaders like us. Why do you think Ryan took his defeat at the fort so hard? I’m not saying you should become numb like he ended up being, but all I’m saying is that they’re here _for you._ If they didn’t want to fight for you, they wouldn’t be here. The soldiers we lose between now and the moment we take the throne won’t die in vain. They’ll die fighting for a cause they believe in.”

          I swallowed hard and nodded stiffly, willing myself to relax enough to think clearly.

          “Thank you Miles,” I said quietly.

          “And besides,” he hissed in a mischievous tone and I gave him a suspicious glance. “If all goes well, Ryan will be here in a few hours and he can help you out. Speaking from experience, a little hanky panky does _wonders_ for stress levels.”

          Jack practically swallowed his hands as he fought to stifle his bark of laughter and I whimpered in pain as Miles wiggled his eyebrows at me.

          “You find new ways to make me regret meeting you every day Luna,” I groaned.

          “Funny,” Miles winked. “I think Ryan’s said the same thing before.”

          “I can’t imagine wh-”

          My eye roll was cut short by a horn being blown. Immediately I held my fist in the air, signaling to my men to hold and behind me a couple thousand suits of armor shifted in anticipation.

          “That sounded like it came from the backside of the castle,” Shannon huffed as he slowed his horse to a stop beside me.

          “You think it’s Jeremy and his team?” Miles asked, drawing his sword and watching me out of the corner of his eye.

          “That is where the dungeon is,” I nodded. “But hopefully they’ve been able to get out with their targets.”

          Almost on queue, I could make out six figures on horse back race out from the shadowed back wall. I held my breath, waiting for them to gallop into the dim sunlight that was starting to creep across the ground. Below us the mercenaries were scrambling to get ready and I knew that if I waited too long, we wouldn’t be able to catch them unprepared and the fight would only be more taxing on my men. I was just about to give up watching and lead the charge when a familiar, golden bubble burst to life and illuminated the fleeing group.

          “It’s them!” I shouted. “Jack! Go meet them and take care of any pursuers! Get them to the back of the formation, tell them to stay there and make sure they’re all unharmed!”

          “Even Ryan?” he asked as he turned his horse towards them.

          “You can try, but Gods know you can’t tell that man ‘no’ when it comes to battle,” I grinned as I lowered my hand to my sword.

          I drew my sword, channeling my energy into the blade and lighting it on fire as it came out of the scabbard.

          “Charge!”

          My command was nearly drowned out by the roar of my army as they surged forward. With Luna and McCormick at my side, we stormed down the hill and towards the now scattering camp of mercenaries. Lancaster’s money wasn’t all that great when put up against a literal army and at least one hundred people ran for the city or towards the forest. Once we were close enough to the camp that I could feel the fires tickle at my subconscious, I focused all the power I could safely muster into each one. With a loud _whoosh,_ there were several explosions throughout the camp and soon they were trapped between my men and their burning tents.

          I jumped off Deriny’a and into a cluster of enemies as there was a bone rattling clash that tore through the once peaceful morning. The two fronts met, and I could barely hear over the cacophony of metal weapons against metal and leather armor. But as I slashed through my first opponent, it all faded into background noise and the only things I could sense were the movements of the people around me and the sounds coming from the mercenary I was focusing on.

          I parried his swing and sent him flying back with a fireball to the chest. The flames on my sword flickered as I twirled around to the next target. Mercenary after mercenary fell before me and within an hour we had taken the encampment. I met my generals at the front of the camp and looked up at the walls of Achievement City while the rest of the army looted and set up our own camp.

          “All the mercenaries were dealt with,” Miles reported as he cleaned his blade. “At least all the ones that didn’t run. Looks like around one hundred and fifty of their men bolted when we showed up.”

          “How many did we lose?” I sighed as I watched the guards pace nervously on top of the walls.

          “Nearly four hundred,” Jack murmured.

          I swallowed hard and my fingertips ached with guilt. I tried to breath deeply and calm myself, but the breath shuddered and my body trembled with it. I let fire dance across my fingers to vent my frustration, but the tears still fell. I made my rounds through the camp, helping where I could, but the triumphant gleam in everyone’s eyes wasn’t reflected in my own. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had let them down by leading their friends and comrades to their death.

          Once the bodies were piled up and all the last rites had been administered, I let the guilt fuel my flames and lit the pyre. This wasn’t the first time I’ve had to send the ashes of my men back to the earth, but this was the first time I’ve had to do more than ten. I stared into the flames that were incinerating four hundred lost men and women that had trusted me to bring them home, and I couldn’t help but feel like I had failed them. We were barely on Achievement City’s doorstep, and they never got to see their families again.

          “You were in Ryan’s army before all this Keryna,” Jack said softly as he put a hand on my shoulder. “You should be familiar with this kind of loss.”

          “I wasn’t leading them though,” I sighed. “I was one of them. Just a sword to be pointed in any direction the King needed. But now it’s my fault their dead. They died fighting for me and their blood was in my name. I know they died believing they were doing it for a noble cause, but I can’t help but be sad that they never got to see their families again. They died so I could see Ryan, but they’ll never see their own loved ones. And that hurts more than any wound.”

          “It never gets easier Little Dove. You either let it drive you to make sure they are safe, or you let it corrupt you and you become numb to their sacrifice. From experience, I wouldn’t recommend the latter.”

          The sound of his voice made my head spin and suddenly my body was so light I felt like the wind could blow me away. My already shaking breathing shuddered more and I whimpered as my heart ached more than it had in years. The fire in my hands flickered out and more tears fell down my cheeks. I had spent so many nights dreaming of this moment that I was afraid to turn around only to wake up before I could get a good look at him.

          I turned my head enough to look over my shoulder in the direction of his voice and had the wind knocked out of me as he looked back at me. The bright blue eyes that had watched over me in my dreams watered as his chest shuddered, copying my winded breathing. I couldn’t imagine what this was like for him. He had watched me die and thought I was gone for the better part of three years. At least I knew he was here waiting for me, but Ryan thought he had lost me forever. My chest felt like it was about to burst as I remembered the way he called out to me, begging me to stay with him as he held me through my final moments.

          “Ryan?” I whimpered, my tone almost the same as his had been. Afraid and alone.

          “Keryna,” he breathed back, holding his arms out to me.

          Before I knew what I was doing, my heels dug into the ground as I launched myself at him. I started sobbing the moment my arms wrapped around him and he didn’t disappear. I clawed at his armor as I clutched him to me and my own chest plate creaked as he did the same. I was glad that the cheers of my men rang out through the valley because otherwise they’d hear the broken and shuddering sobs that we both were gasping through.

          When we pulled away, it was only enough to look each other in the eyes and for a moment I was at peace. His eyes flickered all over my face, memorizing all the minute changes that had happened over the last few years, and I could have watched them all day but Ryan had more of his wits about him than I did. His smile made my head spin and I couldn’t help but grin back.

          “You’re even more beautiful than I remember,” he sighed as he brushed a few strands behind my ear. “Your hair is so long now.”

          “I could say the same for you,” I giggled as I ran my fingers through the loose ponytail he had draped over his shoulder.

          “I wasn’t allowed to have sharp objects,” he said with an eye roll. “I can cut it once we make camp if it really bothers you.”

          “No,” I smiled. “I kinda like it.”

          “For the love of the Gods,” Miles sighed dramatically. “Get a room you two.”

          “Fuck off Miles,” Ryan and I said in unison.

          “Oh no,” Shannon hissed as he elbowed Miles. “Now we have to deal with _two_ of them.”

          “Oh don’t worry,” Ryan grinned. “I’ll get a few jabs at our Corrupted Queen.”

          “We’ve moved on from that one,” Miles snickered. “Jack came up with a pretty good one the other night that I think will be my permanent title for her.”

          “Don’t keep me in suspense,” Ryan smirked as his eyes drifted down to my lips.

          “Queen Commander.”

          “You’re right. I like that one better too,” Ryan nodded as I groaned and tried to pull away.

          “No. Keryna think about it,” Ryan hummed teasingly and as much as I wanted to be exasperated by it, I don’t think I could ever get tired of his attention.

          “Who better to compliment the Mad King than his Queen Commander?” he murmured.

          “It does have a nice flow to it,” I huffed.

          “Okay,” Miles snapped. “Now that’s not fair. _I_ make the joke and my pants get set on fire. _He_ makes the joke and you agree with him?! I’m calling bullshit.”

          “It’s good to be King, Miles,” Ryan chuckled.

          “You’re not King again yet Haywood,” Shannon poked. “We’ve still gotta take the city back, and then the castle. It’s going to be harder than originally thought now that they know we’re here.”

          “We weren’t anticipating the mercenaries,” I sighed and reluctantly stepped out of Ryan’s arms. “We’re going to have to rethink our entire approach now that our original hand has been shown.”

          “The castle won’t be hard,” Ryan said, his tone hardening and I shivered as the familiar Kingly tone made my skin tingle. “The mercenaries were Lancaster’s only defense. Many of the soldiers on the inside are either loyal to you already or won’t step in the way, so it’s only a matter of getting into the castle.”

          “What do you say we save all the planning for another time,” Jack interjected as he looked up at the sky. “It’s just after noon and I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry and could really use a stiff drink.”

          “Agreed,” I nodded. “And I still have some rounds I need to do and I’m sure Ryan would like to rest among good company rather than in a cell.”

          “I can rest later,” he hummed. “Right now I’d stay up for five days if it meant I could stay by you.”

          I blushed as my generals cooed and awe’d but Ryan was immune to their teasing, most likely from years of being their friend, and he simply took my hand and motioned for me to lead. I laced my fingers into his and returned to my usual run of the camp.

          This go around was far more physical than I was used to. Hugs and pats on the back were traded and nervous but excited greetings were made as my soldiers attempted to socialize with Ryan. He seemed a little out of his comfort zone too and I found myself smiling at conversation after awkward conversation consisted mostly of people trying to figure out how to address him because he technically wasn’t King anymore. He eventually found his footing though and soon he was comfortable with being addressed as Commander Haywood once again.

          “It’s so surreal,” he murmured as I stopped to sit on the edge of a wagon near the backside of camp. “Being just a commander again. And being able to walk among the troops without being met with stony faces and suspicion! I haven’t been able to do this since after the first rebellion.”

          “I’ve worked hard to make them feel like they’re more than just numbers to me,” I chuckled sadly. “I’ve worked hard to make sure that they’re on my side because they want to be and not because they feel obligated to, otherwise _I’d_ be the one with an army abandoning me in droves.”

          “And that’s why today hurt you so much,” he hummed softly and cupped my cheek. “Like I said before: It never gets easier. You just fight past it or become numb to it, and if there’s one thing you can do my love, it’s fight tooth and nail for the things you care about.”

          I smiled weakly as he stood in front of me. He gently pulled my legs apart and nestled himself between them, pulling me to the edge and into his chest. He sighed and kissed the top of my head.

          “I thought about leaving all this behind,” he whispered into my hair. “Of taking back the Kingdom, but letting Gavin or someone else run it properly while you and I move away. We could go live in the hunting cabin or maybe even kick your asshole of a step-father off the farm and starting our own life in the outskirts.”

          “We could be happy and not be bothered by politics or duty,” he continued wistfully. “We could live peacefully the way we’ve always wanted to. Long nights by the fire. Waking up every morning in each other’s arms. Chasing a couple kids around while we pretend nothing ever happened.”

          “But things did happen,” I muttered into his shoulder. “We can’t just abandon everyone now that we have each other back. They’re fighting for their own families too.”

          “I know Little Dove,” he sighed. “We can do all of those things in the castle anyway. The setting doesn’t matter to me. Just the characters.”

          “We can do _most_ of those things,” I whispered and felt my stomach drop.

          I had feared this moment, telling him that my mother’s frailty wasn’t the only price paid for my life, and now that I heard his dreams I was afraid of disappointing him.

          “We could start a small farm in the gardens,” he chuckled and his obliviousness made me hurt more.

          “No, Ryan,” I shuddered and swallowed hard.

          “I can’t have children.”

          The silence was almost unbearable and I felt obligated to fill it before I lost my mind.

          “That was another price I paid,” I explained. “Mother gave up years of her life, and I had to give up the ability to create life.”

          It hadn’t been something that had ever crossed my mind before, having children had always felt like a decision for an older and less work motivated Keryna, but when I had first noticed that something felt different about me it suddenly became the _only_ thing that I could think about. For awhile I was heartbroken for all the children I could have had. All the little Ryan’s and Keryna’s that I would never get to love or give the family I had always wanted. Eventually I came to terms with it and it was pushed to the back of my mind as my career once again became the driving force of my life, but hearing Ryan say he wanted kids ripped open the wound again and this time I felt inadequate. Like I couldn’t give him everything he wanted.

          “Keryna,” he breathed and held me tight. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that. I’ll follow you until the end of time and love you no matter what. I don’t need children or a garden full of corn or any of that. All I need is you. We could live on the streets with nothing more than the clothes on our backs, but as long as I have you, I have everything I could ever need.”

          Ryan rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth as I cried into his shoulder. All the stress of the last three years came flooding out from where I had been trying to hide it and soon I was sobbing loudly into him again, but every gentle hush and every slow hand through my hair brought me back down. I clung to him, still a little afraid that I was going to wake up and find him gone, but he was solid and real and _here._

          “I love you too,” I croaked as I came up for air.

          Ryan’s whole body shook from my words and I could hear his breath hitch before he buried himself into my hair once again. I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of having him in my arms, and for the first time in three years, I didn’t feel like there was a hole in my chest.

          I had found the part of me that was missing.


	28. A Moment of Rest

          As the sun began to set, my men began to drink. We had won the battle after all, and they saw my reunion with Ryan as another reason to celebrate. I was quick to remind them that we were sitting at the enemy’s doorstep and that we needed to be on guard at all times, but even then that only prevented them from taking _all_ of their armor off.

          The camp was alive with music and a large bonfire blazed in the center as men and women danced around it. I sat on the edge of the ring of spectators, a large mug in my hand and Ryan’s arm around my waist as we watched the merriment from our place on a large chest. Occasionally, he would press a kiss into my shoulder or my ear and every time it made my head spin.

          Ryan chuckled as I laid my head on his shoulder after one of those dizzying kisses and that only made my heart even lighter. Another kiss to the top of my head had me sighing and nuzzling his neck.

          “You two are going to make me sick,” Miles snorted, and I was glad the fires would hide my blush. “Like I’ve tried to eat a bakery full of cake and cookies in one sitting. Ryan, you’re being _so_ sweet that I’m starting to question if it’s really you.”

          “Three years alone in a dungeon will make you rethink a lot of things,” Ryan muttered. “Like how I wished I had been more affectionate or had made more of an effort to do the things she wanted to do.”

          “We did plenty of the things I wanted to do,” I giggled.

          “In our down time, sure,” he shrugged. “But that was a rare commodity for us. Ninety percent of our days were spent working so hard that we were barely conscious enough to enjoy each other’s presence, let alone do anything. What I mean is, I wish I had focused a little less on trying to seem ‘normal’ and a little more on sneaking off and spending time with you. Nothing quite like the hunting trip, but maybe an afternoon here and there in the garden with some snacks, or out on my balcony reading. Little things like that.”

          Miles took a deep breath like he was going to say something snarky, but I saw his face soften and a smile pulled at his lips.

          “You’ve come a long way Haywood,” McCormick smirked. “From failing to hit on women in the tavern to dreams of domestic bliss.”

          Ryan’s eyes darted to me before looking back at McCormick and silently pleading for him to keep quiet, but they just grinned wickedly at him.

          “They told me the truth about what happened at the Baby Dragon,” I smirked. “They told me that you didn’t have the balls to face the giant.”

_“I…”_ Ryan started loudly but dropped his voice as a few people eyed him. “I’m sorry, but she was cute but not ‘Have My Ass Handed to me On a Silver Platter’ cute. Sorry I didn’t want to tell that story in front of a fucking audience. I was King! The people listening in didn’t need to hear that I was that shallow!”

          “You mean you didn’t want your girlfriend to hear that you were that shallow,” Miles grinned.

          “It’s fine,” I winked. “He once told me part of the reason he picked me for his guard was because I was easy on the eyes.”

          Ryan groaned loudly while my two generals, and his friends, laughed and teased him. I simply laid my head on his chest and laughed as he argued with them and when I peeked out to see what was going on around us, I was warmed by all the smiles we were getting. It had taken three years and literally defying death, but the people were finally seeing the Mad King for who he truly was: A man who was broken by power and forced to deal with it all on his own when really he was no different than the average person.

          He loved, he teased, he fought, he did everything like a normal person would usually do, but he was corrupted by power and forced into a position where he had to become tyrannical in order to survive. When I looked back up at him his face was red with a combination of anger and embarrassment, but his eyes twinkled with joy.

          He had been a prisoner only twenty-four hours ago, and now he had hope again. I wondered how long it hade been since he smiled like this. How long it had been since he felt this happy? As my army grew I heard tales of the Mad King’s return, of the madman he had become after Coronation Day, and every new story of his hysterical laughter echoing up through the halls and dark ‘evil’ that surrounded him whenever a guard would try to deal with him made me sick. That wasn’t the man I had fallen in love with, it wasn’t even the man I had met on my first day. That was the man who had fought off rebellion after rebellion and made the streets run with blood. The man who people claimed _drank_ the blood of his enemies. The man who had nothing left of himself except his desire for power.

          I cut off his argument with a kiss, pressing my lips to his for the first time in three years, and fought back tears as I thought of the despair he had been living in before he knew I was coming back for him. He hummed with surprise but quickly melted into me as he fully processed what was going on. Whistles and cheers rang out over the music as his hand came up to cup my cheek.

          “What was that for?” he breathed, only pulling far enough away to press his forehead to mine.

          “I’m just so glad you’re here,” I whispered back as a few tears fell down my cheek. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come for you sooner.”

          “Shh Little Dove,” he murmured as he wiped away my tears. “You came as fast as you could. I could have stayed there for a few more years as long as I knew you were alive.”

          He leaned forward and nuzzled me, his breath tickling my lips as he sighed. For a moment, all I could hear was Ryan’s breathing and the crackling fire, and if I focused hard enough I could imagine us in his room. His thumb rubbed my cheek and I leaned into his touch. When I opened my eyes, his beautiful blue eyes were all I could see.

          “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, eyes sleepily drooping as he smiled.

          “I’ve missed you too,” I hummed. “It’s been a long day for you. I think you should go to bed.”

          “Only if you come with me,” he smiled. “It’s been a long day for you too.”

          “Go to bed Keryna,” Jack chuckled as he saw my apprehension. “I think Miles, Shannon, and I can handle things for a while.”

          I might have continued to fight it, but when Ryan pulled himself out of my arms I was overcome with a sense of panic so strong that the bonfire popped loudly. My men hooted and hollered as some of the larger pieces of wood collapsed under the heat, but Ryan and Jack knew what was going on. Ryan pulled me to my feet and into his chest just in time for me to start hyperventilating. I dug my fingers into his tunic and tried to steady my breathing.

          “Keryna,” Jack said softly as he laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Go to your tent. Spend some time alone with Ryan. It _has_ been a long day for you and we need you to be clear headed tomorrow more than we need you here tonight. Go get some sleep hun.”

          I nodded weakly into Ryan and took his hand before turning to lead him to my tent.

          “Hey,” Miles hissed before I could walk too far and motioned for me to lean in closer.

          “Remember what I said earlier.”

          His face was flat and serious as he gave his vague command, but the vagueness wasn’t what made me squint with caution. It was second only to the playful glimmer in his eyes that intensified as I continued to eye him suspiciously.

          “What did you say earlier?” I rumbled as I sat back up.

          “It’ll come to you,” he grinned.

          Shannon’s eyes rolled as he groaned quietly and Jack heaved a heavy sigh as he flopped back into his spot by the fire. Ryan gently tugged me away, his eyes also narrowed with suspicion, and I chewed on my lip as I fought to remember what he had said. The trip back to my tent was long, having set myself up away from the center of camp and away from the now fading celebration, and the whole time I racked my brain for what Miles had said.

          “You’re going to chew straight through your lip Keryna,” Ryan teased, bumping my shoulder with his as I led him by the hand.

          “I seriously can’t remember,” I shook my head as I pulled aside the curtain to my tent.

          “He probably didn’t say anything of importance and is fucking with you,” Ryan chuckled as he started to pull at the straps of his armor.

          I laughed and shrugged as I followed his lead. At the end of the day, there wasn’t a whole lot of things better than taking off my armor. Not only was it literally freeing, finally being able to breathe and not sweat to death, but mentally too. I felt like I could stop being Commander once my armor was off, like I was shedding a skin and was someone else, but most importantly my scars weren’t being irritated. My nightshade scars and the five inch scar on my shoulder rubbed against my chest plate, and at the end of the day they were so sensitive that even my tunic made them feel weird. I closed my eyes and stretched, moving my slightly stiff joints now that I had my full range of motion back, but was interrupted by warm arms wrapping around my waist.

          I jumped and whimpered as my eyes shot open and my arms quickly held onto Ryan’s arms as he pulled my back to his chest. He grinned at me before leaning in and pressing his lips to my shoulder. One light kiss turned into several, hungry kisses as he pulled the collar of my tunic to the side to expose my skin.

          My eyes rolled as Ryan’s hands found the hem of my tunic and slowly danced up my torso, gently grazing my nightshade scar and sending a white-hot bolt of desire through my body.

          “Ryan,” I moaned.

          “Gods I’ve missed that sound,” he groaned into the junction of my neck and shoulder.

          He bit my neck and shuddered as he continued to pull sounds of pleasure from me. Ryan pulled away long enough to tug my tunic off before returning to covering my skin with teeth marks and hickies. The night air should have been cool against my skin, but I was radiating so much heat that it was a miracle I didn’t burn Ryan. His hands grabbed and pulled at my body, roughly kneading the parts of me he was too preoccupied to kiss.

          I nearly screamed as he ran his tongue along the shell of my ear, my hand flying up to cover my mouth when he grazed it with his teeth. With a low growl, he reached up and pulled my hand away before he gently bit my earlobe. I swore loudly and my already flushed cheeks burned with embarrassment.

          “Ryan. Please,” I moaned quietly. “We’re not alone and I’d rather not have the entire camp hear me.”

          “But I want to hear just how much I please you,” he whispered and the need and desperation in his voice made me bite my lip. “I want to make up for all the years we’ve been apart. For all the nights we could have spent together but I thought we could save it for another day when we weren’t tired. I want… _Fuck Keryna I need you.”_

          I squeaked with surprise as he spun me around and crashed into my lips. His tongue flicked across my lip and I had barely parted mine before his tongue was wrapped around mine. His hands roughly tangled into my hair and it was all I could do to keep up with him as he tried to get his fill of me. My moans were muffled by his mouth and I let my guard down as it seemed that just feeling me rumble against him was enough to satisfy his need to hear my pleasure.

          I clutched Ryan’s tunic in my fists and pushed him backwards, walking him towards my bedroll. Sensing my intentions, he freed his hands and scooped me up into his arms before carrying me to the bed. The moment he laid me down, he pulled my legs up to wrap around his waist and dipped his hips low. The feeling of his own desire against me made me grin as I gently rolled my hips up into his. Ryan’s breath hitched and he froze for a moment before he regained himself and sprang into action.

          His tunic was practically torn off and I barely had time to laugh as he roughly yanked my trousers down and threw them across the tent. When he descended on my mouth again, I raked my nails across his bare back and grinned at his uncontrolled moan. He moaned my name before leaving a hot trail of kisses from my jaw to my thighs, hands gliding along with him. When he looked up at me from between my legs, his usually clear blue eyes were hazy with desire. It was like nothing I had ever seen before and I sat up on my elbows to get a better look at him.

          But my goal of watching him please me was ruined the moment his lips closed around my clit. My head fell backwards and I let out an airy moan as he sighed happily into me. Every flick of his tongue made the hair on my arms stand on end and I fell back against the pillows as I became too weak to hold myself up.

          “You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of this,” he breathed when he came up for air a few blissful minutes later. “Of having you squirming at my touch and begging for me.”

          I lifted my head enough to look at him, his long hair messy from my hands running through it as I searched for things to grab onto and his lips swollen as he ran his tongue over them. I lifted my leg and caressed his side with my calf as I smiled down at him.

          “I don’t remember begging,” I smirked breathlessly.

          “I can fix that,” he smiled back before returning to his ministrations.

          His motions were slower this time, and more deliberate as he looked up at me with an unbroken reverence that only made the pressure within me grow. In no time at all, he had me forgetting where we were and I was fighting to keep my moans down to a soft shout. I could feel his smile as he kept me dancing on the edge of orgasm. I pulled on his hair and tried to roll my hips against him, but his strong hands kept me pinned down and completely at his mercy.

          “I love you,” he whispered as he lazily circled a finger around my clit and keeping me on the edge.

          “I love you too. _Ryan.”_

          I tried to sound a little more in control, but the way he was moving made it hard. But I didn’t mind. It just felt so good to have him back.

          “Tell me what you want from me my Queen,” he hummed as he pressed soft kisses along my thighs.

          I swore loudly as his words made me shudder with pleasure. After years of fighting if from my generals, I gave into it the moment they were seriously uttered by Ryan. This is what I wanted. Him. All the time and completely devoted to me. I never wanted to leave his side again.

          “What was that Little Dove?” he purred, clearly having sensed my reaction. “Is it true? Do you want to be my Queen?”

          “Yes,” I moaned and nodded furiously as he kissed his way back up to my lips. “Please, make me your Queen. Make me yours my King.”

          I was on the verge of tears now, my erotic high fading as a different desire over took me. When he was back at my level, I clutched him to me as I sloppily kissed him. He sighed into me as I pressed kiss after kiss to his lips.

          “Keryna,” Ryan whispered as he pulled away and nuzzled me. “You’ve always been mine. Queen or not, you’ll always be mine. And I’ll always be yours.”

          “Now,” he cooed as the softness in his tone faded back into a husky desire. “I think I’ve heard you beg enough.”

          I hadn’t noticed him slip out of his trousers, so when Ryan slowly pushed himself into me, I could feel my pupils blow out as my jaw dropped. Ryan groaned into my neck as he listened to me swear and moan loudly, the sudden closeness catching me off guard and making me lose my senses.

          I took his face in my hands and pressed his forehead to mine as he slowly worked into a rhythm. He braced himself on one elbow and the other hand gripped my thigh. Our hot breath mixed between us and our eyes never strayed from the other’s. Praise and affection flowed from both of us between passionate kisses, and when I started to tense up under him he pulled away.

          I whined as he sat up, grabbing my hips with both hands as he pulled me closer to him. Ryan looked at me with adoration from under his heavily hooded eyelids and I was left speechless as he picked up his pace and pushed me towards my climax.

          “That’s it my Queen,” he hissed as he obviously held back his own release. “Cum for your King. Make me cum with you.”

          My toes curled as a few more thrusts and Ryan’s tightening grip sent me over the edge. I dug my fingers into his wrists as I clung to him and my loud moan harmonized with his. I shook as years of tension and loneliness was washed away with every wave of ecstasy. When I could wrench my eyes open, I could tell that Ryan was feeling the same way. His chest heaved as he slowly laid down on top of me and let me shower him with kisses.

          The party outside faded as the final few drifted off to bed or to their watch shift, and inside we curled up on my bedroll. Totally wrapped up in his arms, I could almost forget that I still had a war to win.

          Miles was right. Sex really did do wonders for my stress and anxiety.

          “Yes?” Ryan asked as I groaned into his chest.

          “I remembered what Miles told me earlier.”

          Ryan’s low chuckle soothed the embarrassed pang in my chest and I simply shook my head as my King gently ran his hand through my hair as we drifted off into the first decent night’s sleep either of us had gotten in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long! I'm working on stories for school and haven't had time for this unfortunately. I'm doing what I can! So enjoy this nice little calm before the storm.


	29. Support From Within

          “So,” Miles hummed, looking knowingly at the hickey I was trying to hide under the collar of my cloak. “How are we going to take back Achievement City?”

          “Well,” I began, thankful Miles wasn’t going to address how I spent my night. “If the information Nag’a was able to get last night is true, the city itself will be easy. The castle is going to be the hard part.”

          “I had a few other informants confirm her report,” Shannon nodded in agreement. “The people of the city and many of the soldiers stationed there are willing to let us walk right in, but surprisingly enough there are enough people on his side that we _can’t_ just walk in.”

          “There are too many bloody morons that like his money more than they care about the people,” Gavin said with a shake of his head. “And in the time between Meg coming back and now, Lancaster set up an emergency plan should an army try to overthrow him. I don’t know what did it, but he started believing that you were coming back.”

          “I don’t care why he did it, I want to know what he plans to do about it,” I huffed, staring down at the map of the city and chewing on my thumb.

          “Well, _it was_ to pull back into the castle and let you have the city,” Gavin began, pausing as he thought something over. “But now that I’m here, I bet the bastard has changed a lot of the plans after that.”

          “The man is a coward who only cares about saving his own hide,” Jack huffed. “He’d still retreat into the castle, especially if he believes that he is about to be out manned.”

          “The only reason he was willing to do something as ballsy as take over on Coronation Day was because he had the military support,” Ryan nodded solemnly, his hand searching for mine as he thought about that day. “Jack’s right. Now that the tables have turned, he’s going to run and hide in the castle with what few resources he has left. Gavin is also right, any plans after that are going to be useless to us because Lancaster has likely changed them already.”

          “Now, I’ve never laid siege to a city before,” I smirked, squeezing Ryan’s hand and blushing at the collective chuckle of the far more experienced military men around me. “But if we take the city and corner him in the castle, won’t we have won already? All we would have to do is starve him out right?”

          “Ideally, yes,” Miles smiled. “But there are a few other variables and outcomes that we need to prepare for. While not likely, it’s not _impossible_ for Lancaster to be able to rally his troops and drive us out. Just because we have the city, doesn’t mean we have all the resources. Trade is likely to halt during the siege, and we have limited food as is. It would be a race to see who gets hungrier first, and we have more mouths to feed. After that, all he would need to do is attack at the right moment and we’d have to fall back.”

          “It’s far more likely that he’ll see that he’s lost and try to make a run for it, burning the castle down behind him,” Gavin frowned. “That has been his tactic for most things. ‘If I can’t have it, no one can.’”

          “And I spent far too long building up the defenses to let that happen,” Ryan grumbled.”

          “But your paranoia has fucked us a bit babe,” I mumbled. “You were _too good_ at fortifying it. So far, our only ways in and out are tiny servant’s passages that can only handle a few people at a time, much less an invading force. Now that we’ve gotten in once, he’s going to be extra cautious.”

          I was about to suggest that we get a few people in to assassinate Lancaster, when I noticed Ryan and Jeremy share a knowing look. I raised my eyebrow and glanced at the others, all of whom were watching this exchange as well.

          “Mind sharing with the class you two?” Jack asked, leaning over the table to pin Jeremy down with a hard look while I gave Ryan a similar stare.

          “There are escape tunnels that lead into the basement,” Jeremy said sheepishly. “They’re big enough to allow the entire castle to evacuate within several minutes, so fitting enough soldiers to take the entire castle with minimal structural damage would be easy.”

          My generals stared at Jeremy in astonishment as I rolled out the map of the castle that we’d been using to plan our little infiltrations. I looked long and hard at it, but couldn’t see where these tunnels would come out, much less how big they were. Ryan sighed heavily, took a quill, and started to draw them out.

          “I never told anyone about these,” he muttered as he sketched out several wide passageways that coalesced into the basement level of the castle. “I wanted them to be secret so that anyone trying to get in wouldn’t know about them. Jeremy found them on accident while exploring the grounds. He and the architects were scared or paid into silence. Jeremy’s right, we could fit probably about a thousand soldiers through these tunnels quickly and take the castle in under an hour.”

          I looked up at my generals and was relieved to see them mirroring my astonishment. I wouldn’t claim to be an expert on the grounds of the castle, but I was surprised that they were kept a secret.

          “When were you planning on telling us about these?” I asked flatly as Ryan sat back in his chair.

          “Seriously!” Shannon snapped. “This is vital information!”

          Ryan shifted under the attention before shrugging indifferently.

          “I didn’t want anyone to know about my secret tunnels unless absolutely necessary,” he retorted. “They aren’t a tactical advantage anymore if everyone knows about them.”

          “You were going to let us take the city and wait Lancaster out until either he escaped and took part of the castle with him or we were forced to retreat, just so you could keep your tunnels secret?”

          My disbelief was reciprocated by Miles’ angry nod and Shannon’s disappointed head shake.

          “I was going to mention them if no one came up with a better idea,” Ryan snapped back, fixing me with a hard stare that I hadn’t seen in years. “I’ve been over thrown once, I’d like to keep any and all advantages a secret as long as possible just in case there’s a next time.”

          His words hit me like a spooked horse, and the silence that fell over the tent was just as weighted. Yesterday and this morning, Ryan seemed like a different man. His paranoia and anxiety was all but non-existent, and the smiling and playful man I knew behind closed doors was quickly endearing himself to the army I had brought together in his name. But as Miles, Shannon, and Jeremy shifted uncomfortably, I was faced with the familiar scowl of the Mad King. Threatened and backed into a corner by our prodding, his old habits kicked in and he tried to get me to stand down with his icy glare. A part of me wanted to recoil. The trained soldier in me wanted to avert their eyes and apologize for stepping out of line, but he wasn’t King again yet and I was the one in charge of this army.

          “Listen,” I snarled, matching his hunched shoulders and commanding lean. “In any other situation I might agree with you, but this is too important to have kept from us. Something like this is too much of a linchpin piece of information to keep up your sleeve if we want to do this with as little bloodshed as possible.”

          Miles opened his mouth to attempt to diffuse the situation, but Ryan’s lip curled even more as he let out a low growl I recognized from the few occasions I had been near him when he dealt with criminals and other people who were threatening his kingdom.

          But I was neither of those things and snapped before Miles could get a word in.

          “Don’t you growl at me Haywood! I understand that you want to have as many advantages as possible, but those tunnels are the key to a smooth take over. Don’t treat me like a threat that’s questioning your ability to rule because I’m trying not! Dammit Ryan, I just want to get this over with as soon as possible so we can finally live the life we were planning three years ago.”

          That seemed to stop his temper in its tracks, the snarl falling from his face and eyes clearing as he leaned away from me. I could see Miles staring at me with his mouth wide open out of the corner of my eye as I refused to stand down.

          “You can trust us with this kind of information Ryan,” I said in a gentler tone. “I get that old habits die hard, and we can work on that later, but I have a couple thousand men and women counting on me to get them home to their families. You’re not alone anymore, and no one here wants you dead. You don’t need a secret tunnel system for a coup. It already happened _without_ the tunnels.”

          Ryan looked away from me and to the map of the castle while he thought about what I had said. I calmly waited for him to pull himself back together and was surprised when he huffed out a short laugh. When he looked back to me, his eyes looked tired but soft and loving as he smirked.

          “You’re still so good at pushing my buttons,” he said with a shake of his head.

          “You can’t kill a natural talent,” I smirked back. “Are you going to behave now Commander Haywood?”

          He looked taken aback by my use of authority, but a knowing gleam lit up his eyes.

          “Yes, _Queen Commander,_ I’ll behave now.”

          Miles snickered as my cheeks flushed and the others tried to hide their smiles.

          “Thank you,” I grunted. “Do you have any other secrets you’d like to divulge that would make it easier for us to go home and sleep in our bed?”

          “‘Our’ bed?” Ryan hummed.

          I was about to tease him back when there was a sudden commotion outside. The seven of us looked around at each other for a moment before launching out of our seats and taking off out into camp. I squinted against the afternoon sun as I watched my soldiers quickly moving towards the edge of camp that was closest to the city. I reached out into the moving crowd and grabbed a lieutenant’s arm.

          “What’s going on?”

          “There’s smoking coming from the city,” she said breathlessly, eyes flicking towards Ryan as he stood behind me. “We thought we heard some fighting earlier, but it was only for a few moments and then there was nothing. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you Commander Stormborne, but you were in the meeting and we thought-”

          “It’s fine lieutenant,” I huffed and looked towards the spiraling pillars of black. “Go and get everyone into their units. If something is happening to the city, we need to be there to help. Generals, you do the same. Gear up and meet me at the front of the pack. Gavin, go grab our horses so we can ride in. Ryan, come with me.”

          They took off in all directions and Ryan and I followed the crowd to the edge of camp. People moved out of the way to let us up front and I was starting to get worried. Everyone seemed too calm for the situation at hand. Their homes were burning, why weren’t they rushing in to help? They respected me as their leader, and Ryan was still as intimidating as ever, but that wasn’t enough to keep them from waiting for my orders. It wasn’t until Ryan and I stepped out before the crowd that I understood why.

          The Lancaster banners that hung from the walls were now in burning heaps at the base of the stone structure, and I could see some guards on the walls being walked away with their hands bound. My generals slowly joined me as we watched the scene unfold before us. There was more smoke coming from within the city, but it wasn’t the sound of fighting that were coming from Achievement City. Instead there was a victorious cheer that was growing in volume as the sound of hooves neared the city gates. A group of soldiers rode out from the city as the cheering turned into singing. I looked to the castle where Lancaster’s green flags still billowed in the wind, unbothered by the events happening in the city.

          I cautiously walked out to meet the approaching group and took a deep breath as everyone tensed up behind me and waited for someone to speak.

          “What’s going on?” I asked once they were within earshot. “Do you need our help with anything?”

          “Commander Stormborne. Your Majesty,” A man, who I remembered being one of the Sergeants in charge of city guard, said and nodded towards Ryan. “No, we don’t need your help. I’m here to bring you good news.”

          My soldiers started to whisper excitedly and I turned to look at my generals. Each of them looked cautiously optimistic and Ryan was still watching the city walls.

          “Oh?” I hummed as I turned back to the man.

          “After you arrived yesterday morning, Lancaster tried to threaten us into submission, but we had other plans,” he smiled kindly. “Tensions were high and when some of Lancaster’s men picked a fight, the powder keg was lit and we couldn’t wait for you to move in. We’ve been waiting for you Keryna.”

          The was the flutter of heavy fabric and everyone behind me gasped and voices rose as the excitement was electric in the air. I watched as tartan banners settled along the walls where Lancaster’s once hung and the soldiers along the wall cheered and waved towards us.

          “Your Majesty,” the man said, addressing Ryan as he hopped down from his horse and bowed before him. “Your relationship with the kingdom hasn’t always been the greatest, but that is all behind us. We see now that you were always acting with the people’s best interests at heart, even if you were brutal in your methods. On behalf of the people of the kingdom and Achievement City, I would like to be the first to welcome you home.”

          Ryan looked to me, as if asking permission to take over command, and sighed when I nodded. He cleared his throat and stood up straight as everyone held their breath.

          “I’m sorry I let it come to this,” Ryan began as he stood tall beside me. “I’m sorry that the kingdom had to suffer for me to learn my lesson and rein in my temper. I promise to do better this time around.”

          “Besides,” he smiled sweetly as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “I have someone to keep me in check now.”

          I smiled back at him before addressing the sergeant.

          “What’s the status on Lancaster?”

          “He’s fled to the castle,” the man said as he pivoted on his heels to face me directly. “I’m sure Free has told you about the improvements Lancaster made to the castle walls, so I’m sure you understand what exactly it means for us when I say that the gates are locked up tight with the coward and all those loyal to him inside.”

          “And the city itself?”

          “Minor damage in some areas from the takeover, but nothing that can’t be quickly fixed. Food is a little scarce because Lancaster scooped up what he could during his retreat, but even without your stores I believe we could ration it out to last a month or so.”

          I felt my heart start pounding as it settled in and my men started to shift around impatiently. _The city was ours and the people were welcoming Ryan back._ I smiled with determination as it took everything in my power to keep myself from jumping up and down.

          “Okay, listen up everyone!” I shouted as my army waited with bated breath. “Pack up camp and move into the city! Before you even think about relaxing, I want everyone to begin helping with repairs and to assess any weaknesses you may come across! Report to your lieutenants and wait for further instructions, until then help combine our resources and help any townsfolk that may need us! Remember, not everyone still on Lancaster’s side wants to be there. Give them the chance to defect before engaging.”

          The air was filled with the clatter of armor and excited shouts as my men rushed to pack up. My generals and the sergeant’s men closed in on me and Ryan as they awaited their orders.

          “Generals, have your lieutenants report to you and then relay everything to me. Shannon, I want spies inside the castle as soon as possible. Miles, you work on organizing repairs and take over as temporary commander of the city guard. Jack, you oversee resources and Jeremy, go around healing those who need it. Gavin, for now I want you to stick close to Meg and stay near my men. They may be on my side, but I don’t trust everyone to forgive you like I have and leave you be. Ryan and I will go through the town and make rounds, checking out anything of interest and giving the city a chance to see that I am in fact alive and well.”

          Everyone nodded before saddling up and riding to their respective jobs. I felt the faint tingle of success creep up my spine and even though the air was acrid from the fires, I felt like I could breathe again. I gasped a little when fingers wrapped around my hand. I looked over at Ryan and saw the pride and happiness in his eyes as he brushed his lips across my knuckles.

          “Welcome home Little Dove,” he murmured.


	30. Popping Off

          By the end of our third day back in the city, I was glad that Ryan had taken command. If I thought running an army was hard, nothing could have prepared me for trying to balance military and civil duties. Just the little bits of both I _was_ doing was enough to bring me crashing down at the end of the day and I often crawled off to bed while Ryan stayed up for a few more hours working.

          Ryan was in his element though. He was a King in every way except the crown, which was supposedly still in the castle and hung up in the throne room like a trophy. While I was doing my best to not crumble under the increased responsibility, he was standing taller and flourished like he had found his purpose. I was brought back to the many council meetings we had attended together as we fell into a familiar rhythm. I followed him everywhere, and if it wasn’t for my active roll in planning I could have let myself believe that nothing had ever happened.

          I flopped backward onto the bed as another day of siege came to a close. The owner of the Baby Dragon was letting us use the upstairs apartment until we retook the castle and every night I was more grateful for a real bed to sleep in. I sighed heavily as my body relaxed and I could feel my mind winding down like a top that was losing its spin. I couldn’t fathom how Ryan did this on his own for over a decade, or how he could pick it back up after being locked up for years. It was even more proof that I couldn’t do this without him, and honestly, the idea of it terrified me.

          I closed my eyes and tried not to think about trying to rule without him, and instead focused on being _with_ him. Ryan could see the stress I was under, so he liked to distract me when he did come to bed and in the brief time we had in the mornings. He would gently pet and kiss me as he discussed our wedding. The first time he was hesitant, embarrassed that he had planned out a lot of it while in the dungeon and afraid that I wasn’t as eager to marry him as I had been the other night, but the moment I told him that I was ready to take that step with him once things settled down, he was describing everything he had imagined. Purple and red tartan everywhere, tables full of cake and cookies, and his favorite topic: My dress.

          He imagined something with a corset and lace sleeves that were woven into a leaf or feather pattern. Ryan couldn’t seem to decide if he liked the idea of a big, puffy skirt, or something that fit me like a glove. He spent most of one morning trying to convince himself one way or another and ended up just making it even more difficult for himself. I had my own ideas of course, but he lit up when he was imagining me walking down the aisle toward him and I didn’t want to dim it by telling him that I hated both of his ideas. I wanted something in between, something that would billow out around my legs as I walked, but I let him talk to his heart's content. We could argue about details when we had more time and energy to devote to it.

          I was startled awake by the door being closed softly and a low chuckle. I sat up, my body aching from sleeping the wrong way and fully armored. I groaned softly as I tried to stretch the stiffness out of my limbs and smiled when a gentle kiss was pressed to the top of my head.

          “Now you understand why the council is so important,” Ryan chuckled into my hair before stepping away to pull off his own armor. “At least they could take care of some of this while I focused on military matters and the like. You’re doing very well for basically doing what usually takes three other people to do.”

          “I can’t wait to appoint a council to do it for me after the war,” I huffed as I pulled my head free of my chainmail shirt, earning another chuckle. “I’ll take boring meetings over this stress. I can feel myself aging under the pressure, and not gracefully like you.”

          “What are you trying to say?” he teased. “Are you calling me old?”

          “I’m saying that a lesser person would look like they were a thousand years old if they did what you’ve done for the last three days, much less for twelve years.”

          “You’re calling me old, but nicely,” he continued as he knelt on the bed and towered over me as I tossed the last of my non-sleep clothes to the side.

          I could see his eyes simmering with passion as he wanted to show me just how “old” he was, but his heated kisses did nothing for my weary body. I returned a few as best I could, but he could feel my lack of desire and simply kissed around my face as I relaxed into his arms.

          “This’ll be over soon Little Dove,” he murmured, his voice still thick with want but his hands drifted up the back of my shirt and gently kneaded the knots he found. “We’ll be able to attack here in a few days, and as soon as we retake the castle, we can have the council back to lessen the load. I promise I won’t let the stress send you to an early grave.”

          The phrase came out of him so lightly, but I felt his fingers twitch as they slid across the deep scar on my shoulder. His breath hitched before he pressed his lips to the marred skin and the heated energy around him vanished as he held me close. His breathing sped up and I could feel him starting to panic. I nuzzled into his shoulder and held him back just as tightly, occasionally kissing him or rubbing his back to remind him that I was real and alive.

          “I love you Keryna,” he whispered just as I was starting to doze off again.

          “I love you too Ryan,” I whispered back.

          His breathing steadied and his arms around me relaxed as I fought off sleep long enough to make sure that he fell into a comfortable slumber. Once he was snoring gently into the crook of my neck, I let myself drift off after him with images of his room in the castle playing in my mind.

 

 

          My eyes snapped open as a gentle pop pulled me from my light sleep. I blinked away the haze and could see the sky starting to turn blue as the sun approached the horizon. The same sound had woken me every morning since we had been at the Baby Dragon, and I knew it was just the bartender opening some casks downstairs, but it still startled me awake.

          I stretched out languidly across Ryan’s chest and hummed happily into the little bit of chest hair that peeked out from under his tunic. We only had an hour or so before we had to wake up and take the world back onto our shoulders, and I was in no hurry to leave my little corner of peace and quiet.

          But as I relaxed, something still made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I couldn’t shake the feeling. I nuzzled Ryan’s chest, hoping to wake him enough to wrap his arms around me but not enough to fully rouse him. He stretched out with a sleepy groan and he sucked in a large breath of air as he yawned.

          Every nerve in my body lit with fire the moment I felt Ryan jerk suddenly and he began choking on something. I was off him in a second and was horrified as he leaned over the edge of the bed and started coughing up a clear, thick fluid. I reached out to support him when movement caught my eye. My gaze snapped around the room, but even my sensitive eyes couldn’t make out much in the dim morning twilight until the curtains wavered oddly and moved in an unnatural way.

          I was out of bed and on the intruder in a heartbeat, their invisibility potion making my head spin as I tried to focus on their transparent form. The floor swirled as I looked at it through the attacker and they let out a loud yelp of pain as I pinned them to the floor and pulled their arm behind their back. Footsteps stormed up the stares and I focused my magic just long enough to light the torches in the room as Miles and Shannon threw open the door. Miles leaped to my side and helped me get a handle on our invisible captive while Shannon said something about running for Jeremy.

          “Why Jeremy?” I wondered out loud as Miles tied two see-through hands together as best he could.

          When I looked up, my blood ran cold.

_“Ryan!”_

          I could hear my shriek echo through the open window and wake up everyone within earshot. Miles nearly jumped out of his skin as I tripped over myself rushing to Ryan’s side. He was hanging off the edge of the bed, his skin white as snow and his veins running in sick, light blue lines underneath. He was cold to the touch as I hefted him back into the bed and my legs trembled out from under me as I tried to stand. I collapsed onto the bed beside him as his lips turned blue and his eyes shook as he fought to focus on me.

          “Oh Gods no,” I begged as I felt his pulse weaken beneath my hands and his breathing became shallow. “Ryan please hold on! Jeremy’s on his way, just hold on!”

          I couldn’t tell if he heard me because his irises had gone completely white and his pupils became foggy as he stared up at me. I leaned in to kiss him, hoping that the physical touch could make it through the haze, but a hand quickly covered my mouth and pulled me backward.

          I threw myself back into the person and spun around as I pulled my dagger and held it to their throat. Shannon’s eyes were wide but still calm as he stared me down.

          “I’m sorry Keryna,” he breathed as not to move too much against my enchanted blade. “But we don’t know what Ryan swallowed and I can’t have you dying too.”

          The moment the words passed his lips, the man winced and looked anywhere but at me. The torches in the room flared as I started to shake with rage and fear. I looked back to the bed and saw Jeremy hovering over Ryan as he inspected him. I could see his thoughts running at impossible speeds before realization hit him.

          “Leeches Tonic,” he breathed and for a moment he was as white as Ryan. “You need to see if the assassin has the antidote. I can make something that will keep him alive, but without the antidote-”

          I didn’t have to hear the rest before I took off down the stairs and out the front door of the Baby Dragon where Miles was leading the now visible assassin towards the jail. I shoved Miles out of the way before kicking the captured man to the ground.

          “Where is the antidote?” I roared as I kicked him over onto his back.

          “I don’t have it!” the man shouted back, eyes wide with terror. “Lancaster gave me the Tonic but not the antidote. He didn’t want you to catch me and be able to save the King!”

          I grabbed the man’s collar and pulled him up until we were nose to nose. He whimpered in fear as he felt the heat rising from my skin.

          “You’re going to start talking, _right now,_ ” I snarled.

          “Yes ma’am!” he sobbed. “Lancaster made me do it! He already killed my wife and threatened to kill my son if I didn’t do this! I’m so sorry Keryna!”

          “Sorry doesn’t cure Ryan!”

          I threw the man to the ground and he crawled away as best as he could as my hands ignited with fire. Tears streamed down his face as he watched the flames drip from my fingertips like lava, the heat and intensity only a fraction of what I was feeling. I was shaking with anger and pain and I could see my wild reflection in the man’s watery eyes.

_“Keryna!”_

          I turned to snarl at the scolding voice and was met by three pairs of eyes. My mother was the one who called out my name, but Miles and Shannon shared the same look of shock and horror. The fear in my mother’s eyes triggered something in the back of my head, and I became aware of the feelings I was experiencing. A wild frenzy that only a wounded animal would go into when cornered. I was scared and angry, but the person I needed to take it out on wasn’t here to accept his punishment. The fire around my hands hissed and fizzled as I took a great amount of effort to reign the feelings in. Once I could feel myself cooling off, I turned back to the man who I almost killed in the middle of the street.

          “Take him to the jail Miles,” I ordered weakly, hating the reason the man sobbed with relief. “Let him rest. See what information he has that could be useful to us later.”

          “Yes, Commander.”

          It was the most serious I had ever heard Miles be, and I turned away in shame. I looked up at my mother as my eyes started to water and the chill of sadness doused any fires that may had remained inside of me. I couldn’t move as I became aware of the eyes of the people around me and I started to shake again. I could hear the whispering, but no exact words as my mother led me back into the Baby Dragon.

          “Keryna,” my mother said firmly as she sat me down. “I know you’re scared and this happened suddenly, but you need to remember your own rule. Not everyone who follows Lancaster’s orders wants to and we need to treat them fairly and not slaughter them on sight. You’re better than that.”

          “He killed Ryan,” I breathed, my voice barely there and lacking any emotion as I struggled to keep myself from breaking down.

          “Ryan’s still alive,” Mother said, but I heard the doubt in her tone. “We just need to get into the castle and get the antidote. Leeches Tonic can be held off indefinitely, so there’s no rush.”

          “Do we have the supplies to keep making the treatment?”

          My stomach sank when my question was met with silence and when I tried to breathe it came out as a sob.

          “Is he going to live?” I asked. “Don’t lie to make me happy. I want to know how long he has.”

          “We have enough to keep him stable for another few days,” my mother whispered sadly. “But we were already planning-”

          I stood up, cutting her off midsentence as I stiffly walked back upstairs. The door weighed a ton as I pushed it open and drifting across the floor like a ghost. Jeremy looked up at me like he was going to tell me to leave Ryan be, but after a quick glance behind me the mage nodded and walked away.

          I sat on the now clean floor and laid my head on the mattress as I weakly curled my fingers around his. I sniffled into the sheets as his lifeless hand felt like ice and I felt no pulse. The only sign that Ryan was still alive was the shallow, raspy breaths that rattled every few seconds. I closed my eyes and clung to his hand as I started to shake again. I cried softly into the mattress for a long time. So long that my eyes and cheeks burned and each sob hurt my throat.

          “Keryna,” a soft voice called out from the door.

          I opened my eyes and blinked at the sunlight that was streaming through the window. My generals were all in the doorway, fully dressed for the day and looking somber and unwilling to do what they came here to do.

          “I know you don’t want to leave him,” Miles began, wincing like every word stabbed him on the way out. “But we have work to do Commander. And to be honest, he doesn’t have a chance of surviving if we don’t take the castle soon.”

          “I know,” I breathed. “Give me time to put on my armor. I’ll be down shortly.”

          They filed out of the room in silence and I was left alone. My body was stiff and sore, already tired and unwilling to do the work I knew I needed to do. Every piece of armor felt like it was a thousand pounds and the hoarse rattling coming from Ryan only made me feel worse. Once I was ready, I sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at the breathing corpse that was so warm and safe just a few hours ago.

          This must have been what he felt like when I was fighting the nightshade. Helpless and afraid to leave my side for fear of returning to find that I was dead. But just like him, I had a kingdom to run that needed him more than I needed to stay by his side. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead and brushed some hair away from his face.

          “I love you, Ryan,” I whispered, sniffling softly as silence responded for him.

          The room was silent when I arrived and I was keenly aware of the stares I was getting as through the windows of passersby. Word spread fast around here, faster than in camp because there were people who had the free time to run around spreading gossip, and for the first time, I actually hated it. I needed more time to plan without everyone breathing down my neck.

          “Keryna,” Shannon said calmly as I rubbed my temple. “We need to talk about what happened this morning.”

          “I don’t know how he got in the room,” I sighed, trying to push away the ache. “I woke up thinking I heard the bartender opening his casks and then suddenly Ryan was choking.”

          “That’s not what I mean,” he continued. “We need to talk about you losing your temper.”

          I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath as I tried not to start crying again.

          “I don’t know what happened,” I whispered. “All I knew was Ryan was dying and that man had done it. I… I was scared and panicking. It won’t happen again. Can we please focus on getting into the castle?”

          “No,” Miles said firmly. “We watched Ryan lose his temper like that once before, and we did nothing to stop him then. I know he’s better now, but I’m not going to stand by and let someone else take that path again.”

          “Singling me out like this isn’t going to help,” I huffed. “I couldn’t control what happened this morning. It just _happened._ You can sit here and lecture me on keeping a level head all day, but it won’t do any good. Ryan could be stopped. He _liked_ the power he has over everyone and started to abuse it. I was panicking.”

          “But you’re still scared,” Jack said firmly. “And that alone is enough to set you off again.”

          I clenched my fists and willed the tears to go away, but they fell down my cheeks despite my efforts.

          “Yes. I’m scared,” I whimpered. “I’m scared I’m about to lose everything I was fighting for right after I got it back. I’m scared because I let myself get comfortable and now Ryan’s dying because of it.”

          I closed my eyes and shook as I struggled to control my sobs. I let out a pitiful whimper as weak but familiar arms wrapped around my shoulders and I buried my face in my mother’s forearm as she hugged me from behind.

          “The difference is that Keryna has something Ryan did not,” she said softly. “She has a group of people who aren’t afraid to cut her off before she slips too far. What happened today was horrible and surprised us all, but we were there to keep her in check and now we all need to be here to save Ryan and kill that bastard Lancaster.”

          The air was still tense, but no one tried to argue with her and when I looked up at everyone their expressions were a little softer. I took a few more minutes to compose myself before sighing sadly.

          “We need to get into the basement where Jeremy’s workspace is,” I started.

          “Lancaster is expecting that,” Shannon said with a shake of his head. “I’ll bet my life that he has the antidote on him because he knows we’ll be coming for it.”

          “Fine,” I sighed as I sat up straight and started mapping out attack patterns. “That gives me even more reason to kill him.”

          I ignored the worried look that was passed around the room. I was going to watch myself closely now that I knew how easy it was to trip, but nothing was going to stop me from killing Lancaster. He had killed a man’s wife and threatened his son to force him to kill Ryan. He had orchestrated the coup and had run this kingdom into the ground. I wasn’t going to be happy without his blood on my hands.


	31. Taking Back What's Mine

          The Baby Dragon was the quietest it had ever been as the leaders quietly raised their cups to the hope of victory. The mead was the same as always, but somehow it was less sweet while the room was void of mirth. Shannon and Gavin were going over their route to clear the castle as Miles and Jack talked quietly about contingency plans. Jeremy was upstairs, giving Ryan the last of the treatment we had available to us, and I was sitting beside my generals trying to find the emotion I wanted to stick with.

          I was afraid. Afraid of losing Ryan, the city, and this war.

          I was excited. Excited for battle, to win, to kill Lancaster, and to have Ryan back.

          I took a deep breath and slowly let it out through my mouth before downing the last of my mead. I closed my eyes and found the fire that was flickering underneath the depression that had taken over after the assassination attempt. I did what Ryan did and put on a brave face when I was around the soldiers and citizens, painted myself to be the leader that they needed, and came into the backroom of the Baby Dragon to cry when I felt myself crumbling. My generals were supportive, each of them more than willing to sit with me as I pulled myself back together, but I could see the concern in their eyes and the question was painted on all their faces.

_What if Ryan didn’t make it? Would I still be able to lead?_

          I had curled up at the foot of his bed the first night and thought about those questions as I listened to his shallow breathing. It was no longer about being able to put Ryan back on the throne, the kingdom needed someone to lead them that was thinking about the people and not themselves. If Ryan didn’t make it, I _had_ to lead. I got this far without him, and as much as I didn’t want to go through the rest without him by my side, I needed to be ready to be Queen. Alone.

          Ryan had told me about how the Mad King had been born. How he found a part of him that never hesitated and ran with it until he couldn’t run back. So I found that part of me, the fire that refused to be doused, and it was what I used it to relight the life that I had waiting for me after all this. I could hear the laughter that my tent was full of prior to the siege. Miles and Shannon telling stories from their youth, Jeremy and Jack talking about the weird things they had seen while living in the wild, and all of us talking and teasing like we were family.

          I remembered the way Ryan really kissed me the first time. How his hands held me to him and I could feel the hope he was holding back. Just in case something went wrong, because things always went wrong for him, but that in that moment I felt the seed take root. Every moment since then was just another chunk taken from him until all that was left was the man he had been before he needed the extra armor. The man that wasn’t afraid to trust or laugh or show “weakness”.

          I remembered the way the people treated me like a hero after the Pit fight. How they smiled when I smiled, and how they were willing to open up to Ryan as long as I was there.

          Everyone needed me, not just Ryan, and I needed to be there for them. If Ryan died, then I needed to fight harder because that’s what the people needed. And that’s what he would have wanted. He loved me because I was a fighter, because I could make even him laugh and relax. And I’d be damned if I let him die because I was grieving before I even lost him.

          I took another deep breath and as I exhaled, the depression went with it. Not entirely, but enough that the fire I had been clinging to was able to warm my aching fingertips.

          “Commander?”

          I opened my eyes and tears fell but I felt warm for the first time in three days. Miles watched me with a little wariness, but he seemed confused by my small smile.

          “I’m fine,” I assured him. “I just can’t wait for all of this to be over with. I can already feel my sheets. Assuming Lancaster hasn’t burned them.”

          There was a soft chuckle that warmed the room a touch.

          “To my knowledge, they haven’t touched the King’s room,” Gavin said with a wink. “Assuming those are the sheets you’re thinking of.”

          Miles snorted into his drink which sent Shannon and Jack into a giggle fit.

          “I sure wouldn’t be thinking of the bed in _my_ room. Who knows what you and Meg have done to that bed,” I spat back.

          His indignant squawk and the blush that exploded across Meg’s face made me crack up, and the rest of the room followed suit. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up with my wide smile still plastered on my face.

          “He’s stable and your mother is going to stay with him,” Jeremy smiled back at me.

          “Gavin, you’re clear on your part of the plan?” I asked.

          “Pick every pocket I can until I find the antidote and then book it back here.”

          “Shannon?” I moved on after a nod.

          “Flush out everyone and clear the castle.”

          “I follow and protect you,” Miles grinned as I pointed at him.

          “Crowd control and I’ll keep an eye on exits just in case the coward tries to run in the chaos,” Jack huffed.

          “And I’ll help where I can,” Jeremy nodded firmly. “Probably healing, but if things get hairy I can come in and fight.”

          “Let’s get going then,” I smirked. “We have a castle to take, a King to save, and a bastard to kill.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

          The air practically hummed with anticipation as we marched through the troops lined up around the castle and the banners of both sides fluttered in the breeze as I stood in front of the main gate. I watched the sentries scurry along the walls as they tried to prepare for the fight. I was about to give the order to ready when a disgustingly familiar face appeared over the wall.

          “Hello there young man. Would you mind going to get your father?” I sneered as Gereth turned red. “We have important, grown-up business to take care of.”

          The snicker that rippled out around me only made him even angrier and his snarl was visible even from the ground.

          “You can talk to him when you get inside the walls!” Gereth spat back. “Until then, you can take your rebel army and fuck off!”

          “This is why you would never get anywhere without your daddy,” Miles joined in. “You don’t know the first thing about landing threats.”

          “I think I’ve heard one of my kids say something like that,” Shannon nodded. “She was trying to keep her sister from stealing her toys.”

          Laughter peeled out around us as even a few of the soldiers on the wall chuckled. Gereth looked like he wanted to jump down from the wall and fight me, which is exactly what I wanted. We needed to give our forces the time to set up in the tunnels Ryan had shown us, and luckily for us somethings never change.

          “Your father so afraid that he can’t come out and talk to me himself?” I continued. “I know he’s a coward that hid in the castle the moment I showed up. And I know he’s a coward that kills innocent people to force their families to become assassins.”

          The laughter died as the anger in my heart caught. The tunnels were almost ready by now, so I started to channel that anger.

          “So, I’m going to give him an option,” I continued as my skin started to heat up. “Either he can come out here and face me like a man, or I’m coming in to face him like the coward he is.”

          “You might not want to be too rash,” Gereth grinned wickedly. “I have something you need, and if you start misbehaving I just might break it.”

          I didn’t need to see what was in the vial he twirled between his fingers to know it was the antidote.

          “Is Lancaster stupid?” Shannon scoffed quietly. “Does he really trust his dumbass son to keep track of it?”

          “If I had to guess, he’s betting on Keryna being more focused on saving Ryan than taking the castle,” Gavin muttered. “He only ever talked about you like you were a lovesick fool. I don’t think he really believes that you’re capable of doing all this on your own. He never thought highly of you.”

          “The feeling is mutual,” I grumbled.

          I took a breath to shout up at Gereth, who was intentionally twirling it precariously with a sly smirk, but Gavin cut me off.

          “Get him to drop it,” Gavin hissed, a faint glow starting to light up his eyes. “I can catch it with a shield before it breaks.”

          “Will your shield break it?” Jack worried.

          “Not if I focus,” Gavin assured us. “That’s why I need someone else to get him to drop it.”

          “I’ve got this,” Jeremy breathed as he folded his hands behind him. “Be ready Gav.”

          I looked back up at Gereth in time to see a shimmer surround him that I recognized as Jeremy’s illusion magic. Gereth’s eyes glazed over but his dilating pupils were clear as day as the color drained from his face. He let out a blood-curdling scream and his body went limp as he became weak and slumped against the rampart.

          My blood ran cold at the vial fell and I twitched like I was going to run after it. Gavin exhaled calmly beside me and a small golden sphere wrapped around the vial and gingerly brought it to a stop while the soldiers on the wall helped Gereth come back to his senses. Gavin floated the vial to us and Jeremy took it with his free hand after slipping something back into his sleeve and shoving his index finger in his mouth.

          “This is the stuff,” he nodded after looking at his finger and wiping away the small trickle of blood with his robes. “Gavin take it to Nady’a. She knows what to do with it and how to help get Ryan back to something close to normal.”

          The elf took off in a flash and I felt like a great weight had been taken off my shoulders as he disappeared into the troops.

          “What now Keryna?” Shannon murmured. “We can fall back and wait for Ryan to recover.”

          “No,” I said firmly. “I’m here, ready and tired of waiting. I want to go home.”

          I felt my body swell with energy and the fire within me swirled like it was caught in a tornado. My fingers tingled with power as I watched the people on the walls scatter away. I grit my teeth and sent the last three days of anger and hatred into my outstretched hands.

          With a deafening roar, fire exploded from my palms and a fireball large enough to push me back a few inches launched towards the sealed gate. Wood shattered and masonry crumbled and the land around the gate was on fire, but with a wave of my hand it sputtered out and the thousands of soldiers behind me cried out as they stormed through the opening. I started to run in with them when I saw a figure trying to pull himself out of the rubble.

          Gereth groaned as he laid back on a large stone and the color drained from his face and out of the gaping wound on his leg.

          “Where is your father Gereth?” I ordered coolly as metal clashed around us.

          “Throne room,” he said softly but with a smile. “He’s holding up in the throne room like a coward.”

          “You hate your father too?” I asked as for the first time ever, I felt bad for Gereth.

          “My father is too noble of a man,” Gereth sighed. “He followed the unspoken rules and let Ryan live. If I were him, I would have killed both of you when I had the chance.”

          All my sympathy faded as he started to laugh wryly, a weak sound as his life drained from him.

          “Did Jeremy tell you about the side effects of Leech’s Tonic?” he asked, eyes sparkling with malice. “Did he tell you that keeping someone alive like that slowly kills their brain? That Ryan is likely to be a different person when he wakes up?”

          My heart sank as the news hit me like my fireball. I knew Jeremy had been keeping something from me, I could see the guilty look in his eyes every time I asked how he was doing, but this was more than I was expecting. I was assuming it would be something physical, like he would get tired more easily, but being a different person? The idea terrified me as much as it saddened me.

          When I focused back on Gereth, his eyes were foggy and the wound had stopped bleeding. I felt a new surge of anger and pain flood through me as the possibilities ran wild. I had just gotten him back, and now he could be gone in the worst way possible. I could handle him being dead better than I could handle him looking at me but not _seeing_ me. I growled as I blinked away tears and the thought of him not knowing who I was, or worse, hating me.

          I took off in a dead sprint towards the castle, cutting down anyone who approached me with their weapon drawn and ready to attack. I needed to get to the throne room, and I needed to make that monster pay.

          I could hear Miles shout for me to slow down so that he and his unit could follow, but the words barely processed as my anger drove me forward. I tore down the halls and the moment I saw the open doors to the throne room, I ran in without a second thought.

          “Keryna!” Miles shouted after me, but it was too late.

          The doors slammed shut and I was left alone with Lancaster, his dark eyes watching me with a mixture of concern and arrogance. I stood in front of the door to the throne room, panting and shaking. I couldn’t tell if it was the anger I was feeling or the intimidating figure that was staring at me from the throne, twirling Ryan’s broken crown around. I could hear the battle raging on outside, but the room was silent as the grave.

          “You think you got to him fast enough?” he prodded as he hung the crown on the throne and slowly stepped down from the dais.

          “I know I did,” I said confidently, standing tall as he approached.

          “You think he’ll be the same when he wakes up?” Lancaster continued. “I bet your precious blood mage didn’t tell you one of the side effects of Leech’s Tonic is personality changes.”

          I swallowed hard and clenched my sword hand, my blade bobbing slightly as my foe came to a stop ten feet in front of me.

          “He didn’t,” I hissed, coughing before continuing. “But I know. I bet being physically dead like that does things to the brain.”

          “Is that why _you’re_ different Keryna?” he smirked wickedly. “Because I don’t remember you being quite this violent. You weren’t passive by any means, but blowing open the gates to the castle? That seems like a Mad King method, not his calm and collected lover. Are you really that desperate?”

          “You can’t goad me into throwing myself onto your sword Lancaster,” I growled.

          “I would hope not,” the man huffed. “You would be no better than my son if I could. You were promising Keryna. I knew Ryan might go off script, so I was already making plans to try and bring you to our side. But he was faster than I thought he would be.”

          “He knew he could trust me enough to pull in right away,” I hummed as we started to circle each other.

          “Did he? Or was he afraid of letting me get to you first and making you see him for the monster that he is?”

          “I would have never sided with you.”

          “Maybe not but look at what siding with him has gotten you,” Lancaster retorted. “You’ve almost died once and actually died another time, your mother is going to die sooner than nature intended, you lost the kingdom, and now if he doesn’t die, your precious King will never be the same. Tell me love is worth all that.”

          “If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have come back.”

          “No, I suppose not,” Lancaster sighed. “I almost want to let you live, just so I can see you be disappointed by the man that wakes up.”

          I felt a hole open up in my chest as his words settled on me. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

          I lunged forward, my attack easily being swept aside as I threw a small fireball at the man. He quickly turned his back and ducked, the fire splashing harmlessly across his shoulders as if I had thrown water at him. I could see the purple shimmer of an enchantment as he straightened with a wicked grin and wiped his shoulders of ash.

          “I heard about your little trick with the mercenaries,” he taunted. “Your parlor tricks have gotten more impressive, but they won’t help you in this fight. Let’s see if you’re still as good with a sword as I remember.”

          He lunged at me and I sidestepped him as easily as he had brushed me off. Lancaster threw his weight into me and sent me stumbling towards the throne. His foot swung out to sweep my feet out, but I jumped over his leg and kicked him in the shoulder while he was off balance. I swung down on him, but he caught my blade in his hilt, trying to twist it out of my hand but only throwing me away from him so that he could get up.

          Our clashing blades echoed off the high walls of the throne room and I was surprised at how spry the old man was. He was keeping up with me very well and for every quick step I managed to get in, he met me with a shoulder or the pommel of his sword. We danced around the room trading blows and I was suddenly brought back to the day I sparred with Ryan during training.

          Lancaster was there that day, and he was there for my fight in the Pit. He knew all my tricks and methods. He knew I was trying to outmaneuver him and was anticipating quick attacks. I felt the fire bring some energy back into my tiring limbs. Time to try this Ryan’s way.

          The next time I lunged and he parried my blade into the air, I brought my second hand to the grip and swung back down with all my strength. Lancaster bellowed as my blade sliced through his armor and lodged itself in his upper arm. I lifted my leg and kicked him square in the chest, sending him sprawling backward and leaving a deeper cut as I yanked my sword out of him. Blood flowed from his armor and for the first time, he looked worried.

          He tried to scramble back to his feet but I swung with two hands again, this time cutting into his calf and sending him back onto the marble floors. Lancaster rolled onto his back and tried scooting backward, but he slipped in the growing puddle of his own blood. I felt the warm liquid splash onto my trousers as I stood beside him and laid him back with a foot on his sternum.

          “It’s over Lancaster,” I said. “Do you want to die here, or let the people decide what to do with you?”

          The color was starting to fade from him, but I had healing potions on me to close his wounds. His eyes flickered with fear for a moment before his face hardened.

          “Kill me yourself cowar-”

          His eyes widened as I plunged my sword into his chest, not letting him finish his insult.

          “I’m not the coward here and you know it,” I muttered back as I left my blade in him and walked towards the throne.

          The doors rocked and the air pulsated with the sound of a battering ram, but I paid no mind. Either they were my soldiers and I was safe, or they were his and would stop to see Lancaster dying on the floor. I heard his head fall back into the puddle, but I wasn’t happy yet. I left red footprints as I marched up to the throne, my torn cloak and kilt swirling around my legs as I took each step with purpose. I took the crown down and stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do with it as the doors groaned from the assault. It felt heavy in my hands and I took a deep breath.

          The wood buckled and the heavy door flung open as I sat the crown on my head, the weight oddly comfortable. I turned from the throne and faced the wide-eyed soldiers that had stumbled into the room, ready to fight for their king and queen. Their gaze flicked from me to Lancaster’s body and back to the crown on my head as I walked towards them.

          “It’s done,” I said as I pulled my sword free.

          There was a heavy silence but soon a few cheers rang out and the entire castle was in a celebratory uproar as I walked through the halls towards the main entrance. The air outside was still tinged with smoke, but the deep breath that I took smelled as sweet as it did acrid. The cheering turned to singing as the citizens caught wind of our victory and my generals gathered around me with wide smiles. I felt a weight lift from my heart as I met them with a grin of my own and pulled them into a group hug.

          “Let’s get this place back together,” I ordered as tears fell down my cheeks.

          “You got it, _your majesty,”_ Miles grinned back as he flicked the crown on my head.

          “Don’t disrespect my crown,” I sneered.

          “You’ve suddenly become very okay with ruling,” Shannon smirked.

          “I’ll do whatever Ryan and the people need me to do,” I huffed. “And right now, they need a Queen.”


	32. Return of the King

          I had been hoping to have Ryan back on the throne as soon as the castle was mostly in order, but Jeremy was adamant that he rest for a while just to make sure the tonic hadn’t had any major effects on him. Mentally he was just fine, but he had some physical changes. His age was starting to show in his receding hairline and a few wrinkles had started to form around his eyes, but he was just as quick and spry as before. His love for me hadn’t faded at all and the first few nights back in our room were long ones full of gentle kisses and softer words. It was difficult for me to leave his arms in the mornings, but knowing that he would be waiting for me at the end of the day made it all worth it.

          With Lancaster deposed, the council came out of hiding and Ryan was right about one thing, my workload was lessened slightly now that I had others to mitigate tasks. I still had to give the final say in things, but it wasn’t my job to plan _everything._ I no longer dread council meetings as much as I used to because I had a part to play instead of just watching Ryan’s back. They also kept me focused on something rather than thinking about the fact that it had been nearly two weeks since we took back the city and Ryan had yet to make an appearance.

          “Things are finally starting to line up,” Mery’an sighed. “Trade routes have been reopened and we are still waiting for Gavin to come back from the north with the elves’ response to our trade offer.”

          “He should be back sometime tomorrow,” I nodded. “Have you all thought about my suggestion?”

          The council traded wary glances before Henderson leaned forward and folded her hands.

          “I know that he’s been on our side, I know that he was tricked and misinformed about the nature and plan of the coup,” she paused to lick her lips. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Gavin technically overthrew King Ryan and allowed the city to fall into despair. Are you really sure you want to give him Lancaster’s place on the council?”

          “He was a shit King, but he’s an incredible businessman,” I said with a sage nod. “I’ve been able to get a hold of all his records and have talked with several merchants in the city. He’s reliable and can get his hands on the best product. If there’s anyone who can keep the kingdom’s trade on track and keep the gold flowing, it’s Gavin.”

          I turned to look at Jack, who was seated beside me as my advisor and quietly observing the conversation. He took a deep breath before speaking.

          “I was also hesitant towards the idea, but Keryna and Meg are both certain that he can be trusted so I’m inclined to at least let him try. It’s not like he can get out of control. He doesn’t have the same power that Lancaster had and Keryna _or_ Ryan could easily put him in his place if he tried.”

          The council looked to one another again before Mery’an nodded hesitantly.

          “We would still like more time to consider it, but we’ll take your thoughts into account. Now, speaking of Ryan, how is he doing?”

          “He’s doing well,” I smiled “He’s just as I remember him, though it might be a bit of a surprise for the rest of you.”

          “We’ve been keeping him under a close watch to make sure he hasn’t had any negative personality changes,” Jack explained.

          “What about positive changes?” Henderson asked with a faint smile.

          “He seems to be just as twisted and sly as ever according to Jeremy and the generals,” Jack continued, pausing to formulate his words. “But even I have noticed that he seems a little… _kinder.”_

          “What?” Mery’an asked and I couldn’t help but smile.

          “Well obviously I didn’t know him as well as you did before, but I am familiar with the stories. The Mad King and his cold, stoic nature, blood-chilling glare, all that kinda stuff. But what I’ve seen when I’ve visited is more like the man Keryna talked about. Big smile, a laugh that spreads like a disease, and a fucking wit he could cut you with.”

          My smile grew as Jack spoke and I felt my heart start to swell.

          “So he’s not hiding anymore,” I said.

          “Jeremy says it’s like his compulsion to hide behind the Mad King is gone,” Jack said with a nod. “He’s still as vicious as I’ve heard. I’ve never seen a grin as wicked as his when we told him what you did to Lancaster, but he’s letting himself relax more.”

          “Does this mean he can be King again?” I asked, not even trying to hide how eager I was.

          “Ask and you shall receive.”

          My head whipped around as a familiar baritone called out from the doors and I locked eyes with my King. His eyes were alive and warm as he walked confidently across the room, his boots heavy on the floor and his cloak flowing around him as he readjusted his royal regalia as it hung a little looser than I remember it. His eyes left mine to look at the crown on my head and he stopped in his tracks just a few feet away from the table.

          “You look absolutely stunning Little Dove.”

          His smile turned wicked as a blush spread across my cheeks and it only got worse as he bowed low and looked up at me from under his lashes.

          “Permission to approach her Majesty, Queen Keryna?” he rumbled and I could hear some snickers from the council.

          “Come here,” I breathed as I stood out of my chair.

          I was promptly scooped up into the air and spun around as my arms locked around his neck. Once my feet touched the ground I was pulled in a deep kiss that took my breath away and the last two weeks of worry melted away. For the first time since I took the castle, everything felt right, and I would have stayed there if it wasn’t for an awkward cough that pulled me back into reality.

          “Later then Little Dove,” Ryan said sweetly as a blush spread across his cheeks too. “For now, it’s time to be King again.”

          He plucked the crown from my head and set it on top of his, gently tipping it to one side before sitting where I had been just a few moments ago. There was another round of chuckles as he shifted around with a happy smile and sank back into his place at the head of the kingdom. There were no empty seats, so I took up the place where I belonged. I stood just behind his chair and to his right, as the council started to fill him in on everything that had happened since his last council meeting. He watched each council member intently and nodded along as they explained things that had only recently started to make sense to me. As the meeting went on, I could see him start to straighten up more and he held his head higher.

          Seeing him regain his power made my heart flutter and I couldn’t stop looking at him. He must have felt my gaze because he turned to look back at me and all the seriousness faded from his face. A content smile pulled at his lips and his eyes grew soft as he looked up at me from his throne.

          “I love you, Little Dove,” he muttered.

          “I love you too,” I smiled back. “My King.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are my friends. We have finally reached the end. There were some other things that I wanted to include in their story like the coronation/wedding ceremony ~~and adopting a kid~~ but that felt like it was extra stuff that could go in its own little mini stories. This felt like the end to me, and so it is. It has been a wild ride my friends, and I'm so glad you all have been along with me for it. This isn't the last you'll see of these two though. As I said, I have a few little plot lines that I want to do before I am officially done with the Mad King and his Corrupt Queen.
> 
> I already have another Kings AU in the works that is also a little different than normal so keep an eye out for that too.


End file.
